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Integral Functions 04
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INTEGRAL.FUNCTIONS.004
dd/mm/yy = 29/02/96
file_siz = 021k
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Integral Functions is an electronic 'zine that covers a broad range of
obscure and experimental topics. Material within the magazine includes:
poetry, short stories, essays, rants, reviews (books, movies and music),
experimental literature (computer generated poetry, etc.), personal
philosophies, chat logs, e-mail, and ASCII artwork. Topics within each
issue are diverse and will change from one issue to the next.
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Read the instructions on the site to be sure that you download and
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Table_Of_Contents (in order of appearance - not impotence):
1. "NAP DETENTION"
2. another always
3. "Goth-o-saur"
4. ALT.THE.NET.SUX
5. "i want to be nature too!" & "the band plays really loud"
6. "Emotional Immunity"
7. MANGLE x 3
8. yawutevur
9. Her Fury
0. News/Copyright/Submission Information
{=========================================================================}
"NAP DETENTION"
(Leo X)
sitting staring face fore-way double chalk green board
paper rustles scrawling scratches
general teacher order maintain observe stern stare
snot lips chunk belly dark slight puff hair
past wondered newspapers (boy) house delivery
another monster behemoth student similiar physical form (son?)
(was attracted to blond female knock door answered money collection day)
over-volumed announcement speaker tears through silence and ear reception
"beeeeeep" "Elvis and Marilyn Monroe look-alike contest" artificial cheer
suburbia cleaver slobber tone
machine hum surrounds buzz sounds uncertain of origin
classroom large more so than others wide
pale wood shines shallow cabinet entrance
hallway chatter feet locker clatter (free birds sing)
bright blinding window church blue-sky sunlight view
eyes roving examining observation visual absorb(see)tion
girl in front row that shone clever lesbian remark once in spanish
"writing - journal entry - a process"
misfit olive tan-girl sits side-ways
bubble gum cheeks inflate retract puff inflact retract puff
"a man who had no eyes"
twin #1 or #2 2+ rows up twirls pony tail round and round merry
"boooooop" "Mr. Fried-rick telephone line 2" friendl(il)y nice little blond
secretary office worker
legs moving moving moving twitch shake up down always
bubble gum out bubble gum in pop
zi(iiii)per open things on desk clunk clunk
zippest female familiar face can't place
"beep" (wrist-)watch "beep" 12 PM 10 more
metal knit rod floor fall clank-cla-clank
blond hairs pretty face tight-pant spandex elastica stretch
(thoughts wander sexual)
(feet-)slipper knitter wool
clock look over shoulder time check
"test short stories"
stubble hair sport 'jersey' boy scribbles pathetic monster image sucks
two backpack rustles left unease
"what time do we get to go?" "10 after"
misfit girl greek brown (earth) eye contact
am attracted fantasize mutual
locker door close cluwump animal sc(ream-g)rowl shriek
think teacher looks angry towards me staring
looks away when look response recieve (back)
blue sweater blond little hair monkey walk headphone man
horse hallway laughter our room responds laugh
over
THE END
{=========================================================================}
another always
(whz@ovbq.com)
the amount of fresh air up here is overwhelming.
i see her, the woman you described.
she is wearing the same green dress that you told
me about.
she appears to be lost in thought, although it's
difficult to make out her face from here.
what was her name again? oh yeah, elizabeth.
man, she's a graceful beast.
are you sure she's the one you want?
ok, ok. pass my my gun, will you?
(nov.95)
{=========================================================================}
"GOTH-O-SAUR"
(source: found drifting in The Saurus Black Forest)
black - adj.
1. black horses
dark, pitch-black, pitch-dark, pitch, jet-black, jet, ebony, raven, sable,
inky, coal-black, dusky, swarthy, blackish, nigriscent, stygian.
2. black nights / skies
dark, starless, moonless, unlit, unlighted, unilluminated, gloomy, dusky,
dim, overcast, crepuscular, tenebrous, stygian, cimmerian.
3. children with black hands/black corners
dirty, grubby, filthy, grimy, unclean, muddy, sooty, soiled, stained,
dingy.
4. black news / a black day
sad, melancholy, depressing, dismal, distressing, gloomy, hopeless, sombre,
doleful, mournful, lugubrious, funereal, pessimistic, ominous, foreboding.
5. the crowd in a black mood
angry, threatening, menacing, hostile, furious, agressive, beligerent,
resentful, sullen.
6. a black deed / black hearts
evil, wicked, sinful, bad, vile, villainous, criminal, iniquitous,
nefarious, heinous, foul, ignoble, base, corrupt, depraved, devilish,
diabolic.
7. black humour
cynical, sick, macabre.
morbid - adj.
1. morbid thoughts / details
gruesome, grisly, macabre, hideous, dreadful, horrible, unwholesome.
2. a morbid person
death-orientated, death-obsessed, death-fixated.
3. don't be so morbid
gloomy, glum, dejected, melancholy, lugubrious, pessimistic, given to
looking on the black side.
4. a morbid condition
diseased, infected, sickly, ailing.
5. a morbid growth
malignant, deadly, pathalogical.
dead - adj.
1. the dead man / flower
deceased, late, defunct, departed, lifeless, extinct, perished, gone, no
more, passed on/away.
2. dead matter
inanimate, lifeless, without life, exanimate.
3. a dead issue / language
obsolete, outmoded, outdated, extinct, lapsed, passed, pass, discontinued,
disused, fallen into disuse, stagnant, inactive, invalid, ineffective,
inoperative, not working, barren, sterile.
4. dead to my pleas
unresponsive, insensitive, indifferent, apathetic, dispassionate,
unsympathetic, emotionless, unemotional, unfeeling, lukewarm, cold, frigid,
wooden, inert.
5. dead fingers
numb, numbed, benumbed, unfeeling, parylysed.
6. dead eyes
emotionless, glazed, glassy, spiritless, impassive
7. dead desire
extinguished, finished, terminated, quenched, quashed.
8. a dead place to live / a dead time of day
dull, boring, uninteresting, tedious, tiresome, wearisome, uneventful,
humdrum, flat, stale, insipid, vapid, dead-and-alive.
9. feeling dead
tired, tired out, exhausted, worn out, fatigued, spent, dead beat, played
out, pooped.
pain - n
1. a pain in her leg
soreness, hurt, ache, aching, throb, throbbing, smarting, twinge, pang,
spasm, cramp, discomfort, irritation, tenderness.
2. invalids enduring pain all their lives
suffering, physical suffering, agony, affliction, torture, torment.
3. the pain of losing a loved one
suffering, mental suffering, emotional suffering, hurt, sorrow, grief,
heartache, broken-heartedness, sadness, unhappiness, distress, misery,
wretchedness, anguish, affliction, woe, agony, torment, torture.
{=========================================================================}
doyou( click hereto
wouldyoul ike to check for new messages? y/n
$yeah / #2306
gggig, 'ALT.THE.NET.SUX' /
sorry, >, fuk@real.space.com y/N?
vv ttt / ,+, ,";.' o/'
dUMMMi '+' '+' To: ALL ./|
. MMMM yuu http:// From: )) ./>
qi rt g 846002bytestrans continue?
% comp. any key!
try_this hot.new site! ftp.lame.org
subject: RE: hi!!! reply?
click/lfe suckmyharddrive,a
{=========================================================================}
"i want to be nature too!"
(Astrix Beauton)
i am in a field of green grass not
in any country every country! i am in
every country of my world and
any other world that i wish to include at
the last minute is here with me too if
they exist or not in reality
or in dream. this field is a lucid dream
made into dream reality it
is a universe caught in time lapse
photography flowers are blooming
spewing and i am noticing pollen stuck
to me bees swarm and collect it,
my pollen and sweat forming sacs on their
legs. i am fertile i fertilize
the next generation of flowers all
about. i am this sun and i never
thought that uv ray penetration could be so
divine and deadly both at once!
how does nature stand being so beautiful?
i want to be nature too! i want
to be nature. let me! the bees dance,
and i dance with them they show me
the way to me they show me the the way
i calculate
nature is a calculator! nature is a
calculator and so am i! i am nature. it
snows and begins again
this is a world where everything is always
beginning nothing ends it's just
a circle! nature is a circle! nature is
a circle, and so am i! i am a circle
i am nature!
i am nature.
"the band plays really loud"
(Astrix Beauton)
boom thump and whine the strings
"whine," the strings say. when they whine
i get all soft and mushy and and they
keep things in order making sure the
probability of moshing is low
sentimental
i dance with a woman in a black
dress! a black dress in a great great grand
ballroom with a great great
grand circle of strangers i hold one
hand in hers and the other around
her waist we twirl and dip watching the
circle of smilies blur teeth white and
the band climax
boom boom zing! and the strings whine!
they are singing now they are singing to
my mistress in my arms and
me we twirl and dip two people dressed
in black the band plays really loud like
a submachine gun strings still singing!
and we twirl and dip we twirl
and dip in a circle of smilies! i am still
happy. how high is the ceiling in this
ballroom anyway? twirl boom dip thud
whine go the strings "whine," they say.
{=========================================================================}
"EMOTIONAL IMMUNITY"
(Ceasill Mortimurque)
[doctors office]
tan-brown, orange & green (1970's paint)
rectangular doctor desk - south/east corner
desk has assorted papers, magazines, medical texts upon it
bed with wax paper covering layer - north/west corner
mirror, sink below it, cabinet below mirror - north/east corner
anti-smoking poster - east wall
patient seated with spine against south wall
open door at south/west wall
view of reception desk and three waiting room occupants
(one of the waiters looks strangely at office occupant often once in a
while)
[characters]
doctor = D
patient = 0
nurse = N
0 : [seated in chair against wall to the left of doctor desk - has been
waiting rather patiently for 23.76 min]
(waiting activities: thought wandering, examining office)
D : <enter Dr. D>
<closes door behind him - seats himself in desk chair>
hello 0, how are you feeling?
0 : uhhmm..... alright i guess....
D : that's good to hear....... so what seems to be the trouble?
0 : well.......... uhhmm...... i sorta......... uhmmmmm.... well, it's sorta
difficult for me to get out..... i meannn.........
D : it's alright...... just spit it out and we'll sort out the mess
afterwards...
0 : <looks afraid & uncertain - (s)tummy emits a grumbly groan>
[globby, bubbly] uggghcckkk
<dark-gooey substance begins oozing from mouth, down chin, strings-
strands hang, few drip-drops splatter upon office floor>
[the office floor is shiny, dark grey, square tiling]
D : oh my.... my my my........
0 : <nods>
[fearful and ashamed - expression / feelings in belly]
<reaches with trembling hands to eye sockets, digs fingers around
eye-balls and removes them ('shlup-pop!'), places them gently on
doctor's desk (nearly missing & dropping due to lack of vision) >
D : <shines mini-('pen'-)light into dark eye-voids, peers inside>
[view of thick, dark, writhing & bubbling substance within 0's skull]
0 : <dark-goo begins to slowly slide out of open-sockets and down cheeks>
D : yessss.. yesss... i seeeeee..... hmm....... i suppose we'll have to....
yess.... yesss.....
well, we really ought to clean you up a little first...... you wait
right here, OK?
0 : [as it would sound with ooze filling mouth] glfksdlfkzxcmd
<a few droplets of black-glop drop out of mouth with word-mess unto
floor> <nod>
D : <exeunt office>
N : [1.3 minutes later]
<enter nurse> [wearing typical, white nurse garb]
[hands protected with light rubbering] <takes 0's eyes and places them
back in in their rightful sockets - right, then left - wipes face with
a kleenex>
<smile>
0 : [grateful] <small smile reply>
N : hmm.. i suppose i'm done here...... so i'll leaving now, and the Dr. D
ought to return rather shortly
<smile - wave>
0 : <little responses>
N : <exeunt nurse>
D : [2.6 minutes later]
<enter Dr. D> [rather lengthy needle in right hand pointing downwards]
0 : <eyes needle with dumb wonderment>
what's.... that?....
D : it's an emotional immunity shot.... a combination of chemicals that will
kill your feelings... or rather; prevent them from occuring within you..
save you from them..... it's your chemical saviour 0....
0 : [gratitude, love]
D : are you ready?.... this will prick slightly, but it's certainly much
much better than corrosive black poision, eh?
there are no pain sensors within or on your brain, and the 'temple'
flesh along the way is rather thin.... slight prick... yes..... hardly
feel a thing...
0 : <nod> [somewhat afraid] <stares at tip of needle>
[clear liquid-chemical drips from needle tip .. floor splatter]
D : <steps closer to 0>
<slowly inserts needle into left temple>
<depresses end, injecting needle-chemicals into 0's brain>
alright.... that ought to fix you up....
you'll have to come back in after a year or two for another shot.... but
you ought to be able to judge, or should I say feel when that time
comes....
0 : [synthetic chemical numbness flowing through system killing emotionals
as they begin to form]
[apathetically] thank you...
D : that's what I'm here for...
[pleased] <grin>
{=========================================================================}
"MANGLE x 3"
(Angela Dreamblur)
v1.00
Pa ssingap, owe rful "elec" triccurre nt th roughape rs Onsheada, ppear
st obeau s efultr eatmento fse vered-epres sio ninthispro ced ureusua
(llycal), ledele ctroco (nvulsivesh), ock electrode (sarefasten). Edt oap
atien "tshe" adandacurren, tra Ngingfro m7to130 vo Ltsisappli edf Oronetent
(ht oo nehalfase co, ndthisproduc, esaconvu l sio n) con sistingof asu-
ddenf le xingo fthebo, dyallthe mus clesc on Tractatonc et hea rmsandlegsa
ret hro wnout wa Rdandthew ho lebodybeco.
Mesr, igid, th, "isi sfollo we dby Asocall"? Edc lonicp hasei-nwhic ht
her earemi norconvul si onsan djerk ingcont: rac tionso ft hea rmsa ndleg
st hefull con vulsionla stsf. Orone ha lft oaf ullm-inute afte rth econvul
(siont hepat ient re main sunc o nsciou sforsometi mebetw), ee nte nandth
irt yminute sa ndu ponaw aken-ingi sd row sycon, fus eda ndoften hasaheada
che an dotherp ains.
v2.00
flowing a stalwart voltaical stream through a creature's brains appears to
be a utilitarian therapeutic of frigid meloncholia. in this methodology,
generally labelled voltaic-paroxysm jolt, voltrodes are affixed to a
patient's skull and a stream fluctuating from 7 to 130 elecs is smeared for
one-tenth to one hemi-second. this engenders a paroxysm comprised of a
swift taughtening of the physique. entirety of the sinews constrict
simultaneously, the arms and legs are launched outward, and the ensemble
skeleton metamorphs stiff. this is superseded by a professed clonic
juncture, in which there are lightweight paroxysms and twitching
constrictions of the arms and legs. the brimful paroxysm persists for one-
hemi to an entire minute. subsequent the paroxysm, the creature lingers
comatose for some spell -- spanning ten and thirty minutes -- and upon
awakening is lethargic, befuddled, and recurrently has a headache and
supplementary afflictions.
v3.00
pa(h)sing uh poWUrphull elehktri(c)k cur-nnnt threw uh purrsen's heD ah-
peers 2 bee aH yousphul treetment uv seh-veer duhpreh-s'yun. in thisss
prosee-d'yer, U-z'yul-E cal'd (e)e(e)LehK-troe-cunvull'v shawk, elehctroh-
dz R fast'n'd 2 a payshient'(z)s(z) hed & uh currr'nt rainjing phrum SEVun
2 won-thurtee (vv)vOLTz iz ah-ply'd four 1-10thh two 1-1/2 uh SECund.
thihs(ss) prodoosez uh cunvul-s'yun cunsysting OV uh suhd'n flECK-sing uf
da bohdee. AUl thuh mussulls cun-track-t(e) at wunce, the(e) armmmz &
lehg-z R throwwn owtwerd, & thuh hole baud-E bEE-kumz rijid. this iz
fah-lowed bi A so-kal'd KlOh-nic(k) faze, IN witch their R myner
cunvuhlsioNz & jurck-ing cuntrahkshyunz uv thuh armz & laygz. da phull
konvulsion lasstz fer 1 -> 1/2 2 1 phull MIN. ahf-terr tha cunvulciun,
thuh pay-shee-ENT remane-zz UN-conscious phor SUM tyym -- bee-TWEen 10
'n' 3ty MIN -- end up-on awaykening iz droWzee(y), kun-phuZed, & offten
haz A hed-a(h)ke & uther panes.
{=========================================================================}
"yawutevur"
(a poem for e.e. cummings)
oi toiledat basturnutta shewiz
fayse arundere agyn eesez. sunnuvabych -
duhyuh wanmeituh taykair ovim Charlie oi sez.
ya, deechim alesen - letimno datey
izuntwelcum.
heylok, heezgota cupleov casizov beir oi sez.
okei, letimyn - fourgitwutoisid. (oi gowowtun
elpimwit dadore) owzit goin Lacy?
gladyoocud makyt.
{=========================================================================}
Her Fury
(anonymous)
In darkness I remembered,
the reflections of shit in the
garden pond. Furious.
Faces/Feces: These words so a-
like. It was a period in life
(MINE) where I wanted to move
to a small town in northern
Canada and open a bookstore (all
my customers wearing tuques; beer
in hand). Furious, she raised
an offended eyebrow. She touched,
knocking me into a pile
of cardboard boxes. Ouch. OUCH!
Furious, radioactive. I ran,
splashing, nervous. In darkness
I remembered,
Chocolate candy kisses. Furious.
{=========================================================================}
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Features in next issue include: Whatever.
{get COPYNOTE.TXT}
Reproduction of this 'zine (in any form) is permitted as long as it is not
sold and the entire text of the issue remains intact. Material within
this volume is copyright (maybe) by their respective authors.
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There are no specific guidelines for submitting material to Integral
Functions. 25 - 2500 words is acceptable. Please specify if you wish
your contribution to be anonymous.
At the current time, Integral Functions does not have a stable e-mail
address where you can send your submissions. This will probably not change
in the future, as the editor of this 'zine is not interested in finding a
permanant site to work from. An adequate number of submissions are
received from the local area.
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INTEGRAL.FUNCTIONS.004
dd/mm/yy = 29/02/96
file_siz = 021k
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