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I Dont Care if You Read This 001
[\__/] i don't care if you read this [\__/]
.-( Oo )---------------------------------( oO )-.---------.
| |..| volume numero uno mi amigo! |..| | email |
| ~~ los funky ass biznatchin' zine! ~~ | version |
`-----------------------------------------------^---------'
table of contents:
.o introduction to idciyrt
.o interview with m0gel
.o save a plant, eat a cow
.o a little cybersex (can't hurt, eh?)
.o ode to my armpits
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( o@ ) this divider line is better than d2o's |
|..| ----------------------------------------'
~~
welcome to my third mag so far. it's not much to look
at. you may not even feel that it's not too much to
read, but i don't really care. hence the name of the
mag. if you don't like reading mags, then reply to
this email and ask to be taken off of the email
list and it'll be done promptly. if you like it, and
know someone who would enjoy getting this annoying
piece of junk in their box, send me their email
address. i am on several mailing lists myself, so
i can also get you on a couple others if you like.
you can save this message and make a .zip, .arj (or
whatever compressor is your favorite) with a little
file_id.diz file in it to describe it, and upload
it to your local favorite bbs. so far, this is
possibly the only way that idciyrt will be distributed
around, save some bbsni in the 714 huntington beach
california and 908 toms river new jersey area.
so spread the word if you like... if not. phine. be a
bitch.
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( co ) this is not a divider line... this is not... |
|..| ----------------------------------------------'
~~
interview with mogel
a little foreshadowing before we get into this interview. mogel is a
prominent figure in the "underground 'zine scene", so he is quite
influencial. this is just for those of you who are way too lame to hang out
on irc a ll day like we do.
you ask mogel once for an interview...
(mogel) I don't do interviews.
twice...
(mogel) I'm not one for self-indulgence.
three times
(mogel) I just write stupid t-files.
four...
(mogel) pip do you like gumby's poetry?
and then he folds on the fifth...
(mogel) fine.
> you're a jerkoff
(mogel) you do realize that I'm going to be highly abusive in this interview,
don't you?
> eye don't care if you're abusive
> I like it
> I've been a bad boy
(mogel) good.
(mogel) I will spank you.
(mogel) hurry up already.
> OK, ready?
(mogel) ready, asshole.
* Pip flips on the tape.
> (whirrrrr)
> are the allegations of you and the dead puppy prostitution ring true or
false?
(mogel) false. I only dig squid. sorry.
> how did you get into modeming? were you an abused child? did you not like
the regular diet of TV that your family probably fed you in your suburban
home?
(mogel) ahem.
> TALK DAMNIT@#!
(mogel) first off, although I come from a sick and diseased yuppie area, I am
a true city-boy.
(mogel) anyhow,
> true as in the sense of west side story city?
(mogel) some five-six years ago this pally of mine got my dad's
"prodigy-only" modem to call up some local bbs.
(mogel) yeah. I met a girl named maria.
(mogel) anyhow,
> yes... go on...
> please enunciate... the tape recorder's old you know....
(mogel) I became an instant door-game geekster. oh yes. tradewars forever.
> tradewars... you don't say...
(mogel) then I began exploring more shady stuff.
(mogel) I will not comment upon it.
> you were, what.. 14? 15?
(mogel) eventually, I became deep into the t-file thing about 2 years ago.
> just the age for a youngster to get into mischievous things...
(mogel) uh.
(mogel) no.
> ahhh... I remember those days well...
> of dad...
> and the shower... and...
(mogel) I think I was 14 when I started.
> sorry, this is YOUR interview...
(mogel) oh so silly.
(mogel) pip you big silly bastard.
(mogel) let's see here.
(mogel) over a year ago,
(mogel) I stared "hoe" out of boredom. I wanted to make a stupid 'zine to
bring a buncha rad writer guys around together. oh, and I had a
cdc-wannabe thing.
> yes, that's well talked about in the #zine inner circle...
(mogel) hoe grew bigger and bigger. I was happy. ultimately, I fell in love
with a few cdc people, but the rest all were big asshole's to me.
(mogel) so I cut out of writing for cdc (I wrote two issues for them. one
day they'll come out).
(mogel) and then I cut off hoe. it was too much of a cdc/blah rip for me.
(mogel) we took all our rad talents and pooled them with bf and pez into dto.
(mogel) there. phew.
> is that it?
> are you going to shut up?
> please?
(mogel) next question, fuckface.
> OK... now for my next question...
(mogel) indeed.
(mogel) fire away, dickhead.
> as one of the more prominent, or THE most prominent figure in the #zine
scene, how do you deal with the so called '#zine groupies'...
> please do tell...
(mogel) I love 'em! there's nothing like getting you're ego stoked.
(mogel) uh
> any of them especially annoying? tiring?
(mogel) actually, there's only a few groupie guys.
> do you want to, say... shoot any?
(mogel) some are annoying.
(mogel) I guess I usually just answer their questions and ignore them.
> commit murder, per se? maybe a little blood shed is what the #zine scene
needs... would you say mogel? why don't you talk about that
(mogel) death is good.
(mogel) I like it.
> WHY DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT THE INNOCENTS THAT YOU SLAUGHTERED WHEN THEY SAID
HOE WASN'T AS GOOD AS GASP YOU DIRTY BASTARD!
(mogel) I want more of it.
> huh?
> why don't you talk about _that_
(mogel) well, that's just a blasphemous lie.
(mogel) hoe is obviously better.
(bF) no way! it's true!
(bF) he did it!
> and who would you be?
(mogel) bf@!#?
(mogel) is that you!@#?!@#
(bF) I'm black Francis!
(bF) I'm a poser!
> ahhh...
> I see... but this isn't your interview... please be quiet
(bF) oh.. ok
(mogel) hurry up, (insert generic insult here).
> now mogel, is it true that you're not actually going to rit, but are
actually working full time at a 7-11 on the corner of main and 2nd street
in NYC?
(mogel) actually, I'm _at_ rit, however not as a student. I'm actually
smuggling deadpuppies to students.
> would you say that they were deadpuppies.com?
> (horrible plug)
(mogel) it's a big money maker. you'd be surprised.
> I have heard rumors about you and Jessica Hahn vacationing in Tahiti on the
taxpayer's money... is that ALSO true...
[mogel took quite some time to answer this question, hiding something?]
> ANSWER THE FUCKING QUES... sorry... please answer my question....
> heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelo?@#?@#?!#?
(mogel) no. I am saving myself for Bjork.
(mogel) I'm sorry.
- mogel is ~MPG4681@vaxb.isc.rit.edu (chuck foo)
- on channels: #ZiNeS @#netsex @#teen.fuck.frenzy @#gaysex
- on irc via server azure.acsu.buffalo.edu ([128.205.7.6] University at Buffalo, Buffalo NY, U)
[ you can see why he's so distracted]
(mogel) I'm a virgin! I admit it! Bjork is my one true love.
> yes yes yes... sure she is... but what I'm sure you know, but don't want to
admit about your lover, is that she's actually A SIBERIAN TIGER!
(mogel) girl ask me for sex - I say "N0 WAY!@# I MUZT H4V BJ0RK!@"
(mogel) I told you, asshole. squid.
(mogel) what are you some kind of retard?
(mogel) huh?
(mogel) what the hell is your problem, moron?
(mogel) huh?
> that is not the question
(mogel) you some kind of reject?
(mogel) HUH!@?#
> I asked you about the fact that she's a SIBERIAN TIGER
> she is not from Europe as most would think
(mogel) Bjork r0x mah werld.
(mogel) enough said.
> H0W DEW YEW LYKE DEM APPLEZ?@#!?@#
(mogel) next question, brain-child.
> so, are you saying that you are into 'bestiality'?
(mogel) no.
(mogel) although the occasional squid-suck is nice.
> yes, whatever, scum sucker.
(mogel) listen asswipe.
(mogel) just get on with the interview.
(mogel) you're too slow, idiot.
> is it true that you want to move out to California and start up an
internet server called 'deadpupppies.com' with a 'pip the angry youth'
(mogel) (no comment)
> so you are not denying that?
(mogel) that's classified. sorry.
(mogel) zine-patrol.
> this wont' be the last you'll hear about this...
> what comes into your mind when I say "big time sensuality'?
(mogel) some wonderful ideal girlee with a great smile and a great wit
and is sex-ee and has a big squid on her head.
> do you realize that she's already MARRIED?@#?@#
> well???
> hello Mr. mogel?
(mogel) you mock me.
(mogel) die.
> I donut mock you.
(mogel) yew do, duncan donuts.
> I just ask you straight forward questions that you cannot seem to
answer
> HEY!
> let's not get into name calling...
> MICHAEL MICHAEL MOTORCYCLE, TURN THE KEY AND WATCH HIM PEE!
(mogel) gasp!
> ha!
> there!
> you said it! gasp! the best mag in the world!
> do you notice when people are astonished, they don't say 'hoe?'
(mogel) well - at least some girl didn't turn into a lesbian after she went
out with me!
> hey!
> I converted her back!
> this interview is not about me!
> it's about you!
(mogel) haha
(mogel) people use hoe's all the time. it's a wonderful commoncy.
> for the record, boys and girls, my ex g/f dyked out before we went
out, I found out after we went out... and I had sex while we were going
out with her... so I turned her back.
(mogel) indeed.
> but, as you said... they USE them...
(mogel) "likes girls - likes pip"
> they don't FEEL them
> HEY!
(mogel) no way.
(mogel) people feel hoes a lot, too.
> hahahah
> you are very amusing Michael.
(mogel) indeed.
> now tell me about d2o...
> where do you see it going?
(mogel) (insert witty retort about "up" here) oh. I think dto will
only get super big.
(mogel) we're gonna plug the hell out of it.
(mogel) we're gonna make it famous all over the 'puter world.
(mogel) we'll appear on geraldo.
(mogel) see, although dto claims to have ideals of spreading people's free
opinions on any issue in the 'zine, we actually just want to make a
bundle of money and be famous from dto.
(mogel) so we will.
(mogel) one day you'll see mogel and bf on teevee and say "I talked to
him on irc d00d@!#"
> and how do you plan on doing this?
(mogel) ahem.
> I don't think so
> I plan on being very very rich and owning a TV station where you
produce my shows
(bF) answer him mogel!
(bF) don't be a hoseboy
(mogel) well, it's a very special plan.
(mogel) some of it is classified.
(mogel) I'll give you the "public" version.
(mogel) ahem.
(mogel) we plan to put out roughly ten issues of high-quality stuff.
very ground setting.
(mogel) then we're going to slowly move into massive plugging
advertising and attention getters. we'll have a real telnet, mailing
list, maybe usenet group set up at that point.
(mogel) next we're going to pull real-life publicity stunts.
(mogel) to get media attention.
(mogel) eventually we'll pull in lots of writers from all over.
(mogel) excuse me.
(mogel) I'm not done.
(mogel) then we're going to start putting slow "controversial" things
into the 'zine.
(bF) mog: pip is lagged...
(mogel) this will nab us attention and soon we'll be on geraldo.
(mogel) I have to make fun of that man's hair on TV once in my life.
(mogel) I just gotta.
> no I am no longer lagged... thank you though bf
(mogel) then from there it's newspapers, TV, and attention.
(mogel) money will come.
(mogel) fame will come.
> sounds like a dastardly plan...
(mogel) we'll ride on the recent "INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY" media
hype.
(mogel) well, that's it. of course there are more "questionable" means
we're going to use.
(mogel) but that's top secret.
(mogel) hush hush.
> mogel: and how would someone go about obtaining that information?
> and who is privy to that information?
(mogel) the top secret info? only me, eerie, bf, murmur and shadow tao
know the "dark" half of the dto manifesto.
(mogel) no one else on the planet knows.
> would I have been privy to that information if I decided to write for
d2o?
> or was I just going to be a mindless lackey?
(mogel) you're a writer. you contribute to the dto cause in the best
way, of course.
> I was going to be a no-body... pip the angry youth, zine writer
extrodinaire... just a nothing....
(mogel) the dto cause = style and realness.
> so what you are saying is that d2o doesn't regard their writers as
anything more than just pulp on which to build themselves up on top of
(mogel) oh yes.
> I really should spell check this before I release it as idciyrt
(mogel) well, if we feel a writer is truly special we can enlighten
them on more of the powers that be.
(mogel) yep.
> I see... and with that, I must go... it was a pleasure interviewing
you, but one or two more questions please...
> 1: why did you let me interview you instead of edi?
> and 2: do you know where the tarantula lives?
(mogel) I don't know. I'm tired. actually, I had better answers when
edi started to interview me back in time.
(mogel) Hawaii.
(mogel) I learned that on the brady bunch special.
> and with that, I'd like to wish our readers a good night.
and he left with this comment...
- mogel has quit IRC (SMEWCH PIP L0V)
/\__/\ ---------------------------------.
( #@ ) eND oF eLYTE m0GEL iNTUH'vIEW!@# |
|..| ----------------------------------'
~~
save a plant, eat a cow
i don't understand why vegitarians are the way they are, how
they can be so hypocritical as to point a finger at us and
say "murderer!" when we pick up a big mac, and then they go
out and 'save a tree' by using their brand spankin
new canvas bags to go home and eat a salad. i say save a
plant, eat a cow. i _refuse_ to follow the crowd and eat a
salad with my dinner, no sir-ree bobie for me... i think i
shall never eat a plant again in my life. i am now a carnivor
straight through.
fuck that, i'll go out and eat a vegitarian. roast them over
an open flame, smoke them in a hut and make jimmy dean sausages
out of them. eat the marrow from their bones, use their leathered
flesh for clothing, give a bone to my dog named killer, then use
their bodies to feed the plants in my back yard that i refuse to
eat. hell, i should just use my garden as bait for future
vegitarians to fall into my traps. all this talk of eating
vegitarians is making me hungry...
don't eat me! i'm just a harmless cow-thing...
/
/\__/\ ---------------------.
( %o ) idciyrt divider line |
|..| ----------------------'
~~
don't hate me because i'm ugleeee
i've been having netsex with this guy from spain for about 5 minutes
posing as a woman with the name of BigTits. i asked him if he wanted
me for my mind or my large breasts... he said it was my breasts... so i
tried to p
ersuade him into loving me for my mind...
> hmmm... is there anything i can do to persuade you?
(MSG from JOI) are you hot?
(MSG from JOI) no
> how about if i crack open my skull and rub my brain all over you
(MSG from JOI) :)
> would that get you hot?
> oh yeah, i'm pretty hot
> gassy too
> ate a bunch of beans before i went on the computer
> are you hot?
(MSG from JOI) put your tits in the computer
(MSG from JOI) yes
> they're up on teh screen big boy... rub me... my nipples are _so_
cold
> now i'm shoving a crowbar up inside of me... it's so cold... so
hard... oh yeah...
(MSG from JOI) take my cock
> how can i not?
> it's so big! and hard!
> but not as large as my crowbar... but i bet i can fix that
(MSG from JOI) yeah
> how about if we stick your dick into a vaccum cleaner and sucked it
longer?
> what if i straddle a washing machine while you hit me with a baseball
bat? would you like that?
(MSG from JOI) yes
> i can coach youlike they do the kids at little league games, "good
eye, good eye..."
> don't you have anything else to say than just 'yes?'
(MSG from JOI) i eat your tits.
> you 'eat my tits'?
> is that all?@!#?
(MSG from JOI) im very occupated
> say something like "i sautee your flamboyant breasts with a bit of
fettuchini sauce'
> that'd get me hot if someone said that to me
> occupied? doing what?
> are you having sex with heavy equipment like i am?
(MSG from JOI) hehehehehehehe
> i'm thinking about going out back and using that forklift i've been
saving for oh so long...
(MSG from JOI) yeah....ummmmmmm
- JOI is realJOI!@term31.aiind.upv.es (real)
- on channels: #teensex
- on irc via server scott.uab.es ([UAB] Univ. Autonoma Barcelona)
> .es? what country is that, big boy?
> spain?
(MSG from JOI) spain
> espaniol?
(MSG from JOI) yes
> wow, i love foreign men
(MSG from JOI) and u?
> i'm from the us of a
(MSG from JOI) ok
(MSG from JOI) i put my big cock in your mouth
> oh...your cock is just SO large...
> but... i can't breathe with something so big in my mouth
(MSG from JOI) yeah
> i'm starting to gag...
> ack ack ack...
(MSG from JOI) lick it
> i vomit all over your chest and cock...
(MSG from JOI) i fuck you with my dirty cock
> oh, the chunks from your penis feels so nice against my clit... oh
yes!
(MSG from JOI) you are very pig,ummm
> we're having sex on a far away beach in the middle of the day... it's
very sunny...
> so the vomit begins to stink...
> while we are kissing, the vomit's smell gets to me... so i vomit down
your throat and it chokes you to death....
> the end.
> go away before i taunt you a second time.
it's high noon on my sun dial...
/
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( *o ) semi-official licensed idciyrt divider line |
|..| ---------------------------------------------'
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ode to my armpits
oh sweaty armpit, how I love thee
you smell better than a summer's breeze
you're so slippery and shiny in the sun
i can show you off just for some fun
wow, just about as touching as a sledgehammer to the gut.
/
/\__/\ -----------------.
( OO ) mr. divider line |
|..| ------------------'
~~
that about wraps it up for this installment of idciyrt,
look for furthur installments of our lovely magazine.
ZZZzzz...
/
.- <\__/\ ---------------------------------------------- /\__/\ -.
|X ( uu ) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ( OO ) X|
`-- |..| ------------.------------------------.---------- |..| --'
~~ | information on idciyrt | ~~
`------------------------'
.- /\__/\ ----------------------.
| ( oo ) who writes this shit? |
`-- |..| -----------------------'
~~
pip2 the angry youth - he's just this guy, you know?
.- /|__/\ -----------------------.
| ( o+ ) where can i reach you? |
`- |..| ------------------------'
~~
you can email pip2 at his current email address of
tmacse@ix.netcom.com with whatever you feel nessesary.
.- !\__/\ --------------------------.
| ( __ ) where can i find idciyrt? |
`-- |..| ---------------------------'
~~
if someone remembers to put it there, and the sysadmin finds it, you
can probably find it on ftp.fc.net in the /pub/deadkat/? directory.
.- /\__/\ ------------------------- /\__/\ -.
| ( %% ) end of informational file ( ,, ) |
`-- |..| --------------------------- |..| --'
~~ ~~
"we're the people your mother forgot to warn you about"
-eof-
