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Greeny World Domination 113
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w _____ ____ 1 1 333 "the game" w
D // | \ 11 11 3 by j3ph D
* || ____ | || | 1 1 333 *
G || || \ / | || | 1 1 3 issue #113 of "GwD: The American Dream G
w \\___// \/\/ |____/ 111 111 333 with a Twist -- of Lime" * rel 09/20/01 w
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erin and i decided that we'd go to see the red sox massacre the rangers on
saturday and this is how the story goes...
first of, i was led into believing that pedro was going to be pitching on
saturday so i was way stoked but then i found differently...in fact, i found
that nomar and manny were not as playing as well...so i put on my red sox hat
(and urged dallas-native cutie erin in the same venture, to no avail)...we
found our places (conveniently on the third base side so red sox fans had
gathered heavily around me and i felt somewhat secure)...our plan was to watch
the game that started at 7:05 and travel back to tyler that night and arrive
in time for a good night sleep before i go into work 9am this morning...
with me?
okay soooooooooooo, the teams went back and forth--a passionate battle--
red sox had to win in order to keep good position in the wild card race and
stay close behind the hated yankees (no offense yankee fans--i can't stand
you)...and no one told me that they shot off superpyrotechnics when the
rangers hit a homerun--MUCH TO MY SURPRISE...first ranger homerun i about
bolted out of my seat and plummeted to the earth below (which was far down
from our seats--bob eucker seats)...salty pretzel, soggy nachos, just me and
my sweet erin and the kid that kept making anti-red sox exclamatories behind
me...i was about to recruit some of the boston fans nearby to join me in going
up and embarrassing this kid in front of his parents, but opted otherwise...
then it comes down to the ninth inning, still with me? (check the box
score for accurate tracking of the game--it really was exciting game)...
the normal length game of nine innings ends in a tie which means: EXTRA
INNINGS...excellent! i'm a bargain shopper and when you pay 8 bucks for
parking and 15 a pop for tickets, extra innings isn't such a bad thing...but,
unfortunately, no one told me (or i didn't get the memo) that the game was
going to last 18 innings! now, for the mathematically imbalanced, that would
be double the length of a normal game...and, well, my mind's telling me that
since i waited until august to catch a red sox game in arlington, even at the
risk of totally turning off my girlfriend, WE'RE STAYING...(all you need to
know here can be obtained from reading the four capitalized words in this
paragraph--i just noticed that).
oops, i'm gonna rewind for a second...rewind to about the fourteenth
inning...as the fans start to flush out, leaving seats closer to the action,
erin and i start to migrate towards homeplate...as we moved to the edge of our
level, aside us sat a crew of about 5 twelve year old girls and they're asking
us if we're there to get on the camera (the jumbotron--the big ol 30 foot
television viewable to everyone in the stadium)...um, yeah, of course we
were...and i don't really remember what the song was, but thanks to the
annoying shrieking of the girls beside erin and i, we caught the attention of
a guy with a camera on the level below...he swings his camera around and zooms
in on the seven of us...and, i don't know what came over me, but i lifted my
shirt to expose my bare hairy belly (which i proudly puffed out) and then i
proceeded to slap my belly while i was broadcasted to the entire stadium via
the jumbotron while erin danced innocently beside me and the girls beside me
didn't notice what i was doing until they looked at the screen and saw my
belly shaking on what was about two and half stories of screen erected high
above the ballpark at arlington...i got a kick out of it, erin didn't...i
apologized and then the girls next to me began snickering about me and my
stunt...i laughed it off...then, one of the girls next to me asked me where i
was from because i looked vaguely familiar (no, she didn't say "vaguely" or
"familiar" but something close to that)...i told her that i moved to tyler
from lubbock and blah, blah, blah...and, then, just a friendly reply to her
inquiry, i asked her where she was from and she said, "er, um, well, we, uh,
live about five hours from here"...obviously, something was up, so i asked her
what town...she said, "uh, well, i don't know" and then she asked her friend,
"what town are we from?" and they began whispering to each other...simple
question for a twelve year old, right? well, apparently this little girl that
was so welcoming and friendly when erin and i first got down there had thought
that i was prying...all the sudden, i turn into that creepy guy that your
parents tell you not to talk to...i know you've seen the afterschool special
i'm talking about...yeah, that was me, the eerie guy with sideburns that goes
around talking to little girls and gets chased off by angry parents...well,
no, obviously i wasn't trying to kidnap these kids, but i tell you: i'm only
24 years old, but i went through a lot of revelations during my visit to the
mirror in the bathroom...i am a little creepy looking...but, no, i wasn't
trying to kidnap the girls...i was so insulted by the assumption that erin and
i moved down a couple of more rows, much to the ease of the girls who thought
they had just escaped the clutches of a serial killer...heh, whatever...at
least their parents taught them well, but man, it wasn't like i was asking for
their address! anyhow, someone console me...
oh yeah, the game!! okay, soooooooooooo, rangers set a record for the
longest game in rangers history last night (timewise) and the red sox lost...
and erin and i never got our question answered: HOW CAN YOU PAY A PLAYER 250
MILLION DOLLARS AND STILL HAVE GAMES GO INTO THE 18TH INNING?...it's the
thousand dollar question and i'm dying to know the answer...
we arrived safely back in tyler at 4:30 in the morning (hey, at least the
traffic wasn't bad!) and i was at work 2 minutes late today at 9:02am...
lovely...
okay, soooooooooo, how was y'all's weekend?
j3ph
(not a kidnapper, just misunderstood)
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Issue#113 of "GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" ISSN 1523-1585
copyright (c) MMI j3ph/GwD Publications /---------------\
copyright (c) MMI GwD, Inc. All rights reserved. :MONEY SHOTS INC:
a production of The GREENY world DOMINATION Task Force, Inc. : GwD :
Postal: GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 \---------------/
FYM -+- http://www.GREENY.org/ - editor@GREENY.org - submit@GREENY.org -+- FYM
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