Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
Greeny World Domination News 11
Oh my GawD! ***** BACK AT YOUR ASS FOR THE '99, BITCH. ***** More from GwaD!
The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Incorporated
Brings YOU 2 Brand New Text Files for Summer 1999!
(Issues 66-67 of GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime)
-=< NewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdS >=-
gwd66.txt - The GwD STAR WARS Special (by The Mad Screamer, Pezzy
et al.),
AND....
gwd67.txt - Make Room for Millennium Baby (by Ron Callari).
-+- GREEN is GOOD. -+-
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Summaries of New Issues
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
"The GwD STAR WARS Special"
= GwD66 =
-----
Redneck Jedi, Samuel L. Jackson
as a Jedi: sure, you've read
them before. If you didn't like
them then, you surely won't
like the rest of the file...
The Mad Screamer, author of the
(now infamous) "Deluded Ravings
of a Madman" returns to bring
his fans (and others) an inside
look at the premiere of the
newest STAR TREK film. The Mad
Screamer quips, "I set my jaw
and reminded myself why I watch
STAR WARS."...
New dr00g Pezzy rants about
action figures. Okay, dolls...
The STAR WARS drinking game!...
Lame ascii-art we ripped off...
-----
"Make Room for Millennium Baby"
= GwD67 =
-----
Move over Boomer, they're
arriving in millions and
packing an attitude! Ron
Callari gives us this article
detailing what the children of
the next millennium will be
like. Very insightful.
-----
-+- GwD. It's like _War & Peace_ with a touch Ed Wood. -+-
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
What's going on in Grenedom?
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
-> HEADLINES <-
We missed St. Patrick's Day. Go us.
The question you *are* all asking is, of course, "Why release two files now
when you could have released more later?"
That's simple. We have a STAR WARS-related file in this release, so we want to
cash in on all the hoopla that's going on this month, seeing as how the movie
opened on the 19th. Everyone else is cashing in on the hype from this movie,
why can't we? WHY CAN'T WE?!? WHY, DAMN YOU, WHY!?!??!
Also, we have a file about the changing o' the Millennium, and, well, if we
don't release it now, it probably won't be out until next year, and that's only
if the world doesn't end. So read it (gw67) NOW, PIGGIE.
Of course, there's also the fact that today is 5-25. Figure that one out,
genius.
Two main items of news this time:
(1) GwD Publications HAS MOVED to: http://gwd.mit.edu/
That's right, now you have to go to MIT to peruse our CRAP! Well, okay, maybe
not...all you have to do is go to their website. Our *original* site,
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/
has been killed by geocities, because they are fascist bastards. You hear that
GeoCities? We won't be intimidated by your Nazi-esque tactics.
Why did we move the Publications site from GeoCities in the first place? Well,
it's simple: GeoCities sucks. They used to be cool, before all the shitty java
applets started to appear all over the pages, reminding you that it was indeed a
site on GeoCities. Also, there's those damn pop-up windows. GwD HATES POP-UP
WINDOWS. That is, of course, if they advertise something other than us, which
most of them do. So, we decided to move the Publications site elsewhere and,
seeing as how we have an operative deep within the MIT hierarchy, where better
to move it? The GwD-GeoCities site *was* supposed to be a repository of links
to GwD/GREENY/Grene related sites, but those bastards killed it (see above).
We had that goddamn site for 3+ years, and since we didn't update it for only
ONE month, they deleted it. Anyway, that's that. GEOCITIES WILL PAY.
(2) "GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime," everyone's favorite
e-zine about nothing, has an International Standard Serial Number (ISSN).
That's right, we're now in the same league as other great "serial publications"
with ISSNs, like "TIME," "PEOPLE," "WIRED," and "SWANK." So anyway, the next
time you're doing scholarly research and (don't laugh) citing "GwD: The
American Dream..." as a source, we have an ISSN so you can prove to your boss,
teacher, or professor that it is INDEED an INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED
publication.
What, pray tell, is this coveted number? 1523-1585. Notice that there are
THREE FIVES in this number, making it fit us nicely. Of course, if you read it
as a mathematical expression, 1523 - 1585 = -62. 6 + 2 = 8 = 5 + 3. There's
that 5 and that 3 again. Aww yeah. Also, 1 + 5 + 2 + 3 + 1 + 5 + 8 + 5 = 30.
This, of course, is important because 30 = 5 * 6 = (5 + 5 + 5) * 2.
-> OTHER NEWS <-
Umm, there's not really any other news right now. No one has declared war on
us. We still serve very little (if any) purpose. And we still are the NUMBER
ONE DISTRIBUTOR OF CRAP, WORLDWIDE. Face it, you can't step to our crap.
-> SUBMISSION INFORMATION <-
If you have ANYTHING to submit to GwD (artwork, text, outlandish claims, etc.),
DO NOT HESITATE to send it our way. "submit@GREENY.org" is there for you, baby.
Work must be 100% original and it must be understood that once submitted,
articles/artwork/photographs become the property of GwD, Inc. (unless they have
been previously published elsewhere) and we can use them however we see fit,
even if it's merely to make fun of them (and you).
-> LETTERS TO THE EDITOR <-
[All spelling/grammar errors are those of the author(s) and are not errors on
the part of GwD, cuz, well, we're perfect. Yeah.]
-----
Date: Fri, 4 Dec 1998 00:30:04 -0700 (MST)
From: mea culpa <jericho@dimensional.com>
To: "GwD, Inc." <GwD@GREENY.org>
Subject: Re: last e-mail...
X-NoSpam: Pursuant to US Code; Title 47; Chapter 5; Subchapter II; 227
X-NoSpam: any and all nonsolicited commercial E-mail sent to this address
X-NoSpam: is subject to a download and archival fee in the amount of $500 US.
X-NoSpam: E-mailing to this address denotes acceptance of these terms.
X-Copyright: This e-mail copyright 1998 by jericho@dimensional.com
Congrats on making it 5 years.
Just think.. a couple thousand other zines have come and go in the time since
you started.
mea_culpa
www.attrition.org
-----
Date: Tue, 08 Dec 1998 10:49:48 -0600
From: "Some Guy You Don't Know" <lobstar@earthlink.net>
To: submit@GREENY.org
Subject:
Dear You,
How are you? I am fine. Let me introduce myself. My name is Hemorrhoy Rogers
of the band BIG POO GENERATOR. I enjoyed visiting your site and found it very
COOOL. I was wondering if you would give BIG POO GENERATOR a hand and write
something bad about us. It would really help us out if you would say that we
suck or something like that. To find out how bad we suck go visit the BIG POO
GENERATOR Home Page! Deep down in my stomach I have a strange feeling that
you're going to like it or hate it a lot. It features happy music by BIG POO
GENERATOR as well as thrilling stories, informative information on guns, and
pictures of food and dogs! It is here:
http://home.earthlink.net/~lobstar
We swear that you'll twist a bowel from screaming in glee at songs like "Monkey
Madness," "I'm Gonna Kick Myself in the Balls," "Kid Headly: The Dog with the
Enormous Head," and "I Wanna Eat That Stuff There NOW!" The sound files are
being constantly updated - so hurry up and hurry back!
* * * WE GUARANTEE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD MUSIC LIKE THIS (UNLESS YOU'VE
HEARD FRANK SINATRA OR THE ROLLING STONES OR SOME COMMERCIAL I SAW YESTERDAY)!
JUST LISTEN TO ONE SONG AND TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT OR RUN TO THE BATHROOM! * * *
Please check it out, and, if you want, write a bad review of our music OR post
some of our tunes on your site OR include the site on any links list you have OR
simply tell your parents. I, Hemorrhoy Rogers, give my personal assurance that
BIG POO GENERATOR will ROCK YOUR WORLD, or BIG POO GENERATOR will ROCK YOUR
DOG'S WORLD!!!
Very sincerely,
Hemorrhoy Rogers
lobstar@earthlink.net
[Hemorrhoy: we'll be in touch about a review and/or interview and posting your
stuff on our site...Sorry we haven't replied yet...the struggle for world
Domination takes more and more effort of late and we don't always have time to
do the things we want to do, like promote our status as a global media
conglomerate.]
-----
Date: Tue, 19 Jan 1999 06:51:36 -0400 (EDT)
From: "hdghg145@hotmail.com" <hdghg145@hotmail.com>
To: gwd@GREENY.org
Subject: FREE MEMBERSHIPS BEST OF THE WORLDS BEST XXXX ADULT SITES !!!
THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORLD'S BEST PORN SITE !!
YOU WANT IT ..... WE GOT IT .... ALL HERE - E V E R Y T H I N G !!
YOU ARE ONLY 10 SECONDS AWAY FROM
THE ULTIMATE LIVE INTERACTIVE MULTIMEDIA
VIRTUAL VIDEOSEX EXPERIENCE!!! FREE LIMITED TIME ACCOUNTS!!
CATERING FOR ALL TASTES .......
REAL YOUNG ... REAL BLACK ... REAL MALE ... HARDCORE SMUT!!
REAL WIERD .... REAL ANYTHING ... AND WE MEAN ANYTHING!!
http://www.freeyellow.com/members6/akaxabxx/index.html
* BARELY LEGAL TEEN SLUTS
* LIVE SEX WITH SOUND
* OVER SIX THOUSAND VIDEO FEEDS
* UNLIMITED FREE VIDEO SEX
* HARDCORE CELEBRITY PICS
* TENS OF 1OOOs of FREE HARDCORE PICTURES
WE SURE HOPE YOU ARE CUMMING TO SEE US!
WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS CLICK!!
http://www.freeyellow.com/members6/akaxabxx/index.html
[Apparently, we "won" this free porn access, so *we* are sharing it with *YOU*.]
-----
~~~~~
-*- Dr00gan New Year is June 10. Celebrate, or suffer the consequences. -*-
CONTACT:
The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Inc.
http://www.GREENY.org/
Pubs - http://gwd.mit.edu/ - Pubs
ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/
gwd@GREENY.org
P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas - 79490
- for moral, ethical, spiritual, and financial guidance -
The GwD Task Force, Inc. - Bringing YOU All the Best in Absolute Crap Since 1993
by Lobo Licious - copyright (c) MCMXCIX GwD, Inc. ***** release date = 05-25-99
-*- GwD - "God, we're Dorks." - GwD -*- GwDN11
