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Greeny World Domination 090
GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e ,
I n c o r p o r a t e d
Presents:
__ __ 999999999 0000000
_____ ____ _| |__| |_ 9999 9999 000 000
// | \ |_ __ _| 999 999 000 000 000
|| ____ | || | | | | | 9999 9999 000 000 000
|| || \ / | || | _| |__| |_ 9999999999 000 000 000
\\___// \/\/ |____/ |_ __ _| 999 000 000 000
|__| |__| 999 000 000
999 0000000
"Am I Old School Yet?" by Jaffo
----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime ***** Issue #90 -----
----- release date: 01-03-01 ***** ISSN 1523-1585 -----
-+- Ode To A Dead Cow -+-
Once upon a time, there was a text file group, a charming collection of
intellectual malcontents from Lubbock, Texas, carving out a niche in the digital
underground.
It was 1988. I was 17, calling up local bulletin boards on my friend's
Commodore 64. All my friends had Commodores, but my parents bought me an Atari
800XL. If they'd bought me a modem, my whole life might have been different.
Instead, they bought me a word processor and a copy of Star Raiders. So while
the members of this (now-famous) text file group were interviewing Neo-Nazis
(see cDc-0059.txt) and scribing bizarre religious prophecies (see cDc-0056.txt),
I was hunched over a map of Greyhawk, crafting character sheets on my Bank Street
Writer.
I was on the bare periphery of digital culture in high school. I spent my
weekends at Harvey's house, begging to use his modem.
I didn't really get "into" the BBS scene until I went to college. I stayed in
the dorm, feeding my addiction at the Gaston Hall computer lab. They had an
ancient Apple computer with a modem. I must have called a dozen boards a day,
but the only two I remember from that era are "Trend" and "Neurochick's Biker
Slut Haven."
Five years earlier, I had accounts at "Dark Realm" and "The Crystal Palace."
The "Palace" was the ultimate Lubbock BBS. I think he had almost 50 megs of
files at one point.
I dropped out of school and moved to Dallas. I learned how to tie a Windsor
knot and got a bunch of temp jobs. I worked for Kelly Temporary Services in
Irving. Some jobs were good. I was only 19, but the people at Smith-Kline
Beecham would have hired me perm if they had anything.
But as time wore on, the jobs got harder and I lost interest. They sent me on
one assignment that I was *not* prepared for; they set me up as an "Executive
Secretary" at GTE Telephone Operations. I was barely 20 years old. I could
handle email and word processing, but I didn't know shit about protocol or
office procedure. They should have fired me. Instead, they just ignored me.
Even when I tried to get help, nobody seemed that interested.
That's how I ended up logging almost 100 hours in long-distance calls to the GTE
modem pool. I would call "Trend" and the "Haven" and download megs and megs
worth of messages. I would format them in WordPerfect, double-columned, in a
tiny font, and carry huge *bundles* of paper home with me at night, tucked
inside my soft-side briefcase.
At night, I would take them home and read, dreaming about friends and family and
the home I missed in Lubbock.
So, as a result, I may be the most well-read person who never posted* to a BBS.
For some reason, I didn't mind wasting hours of long distance and reams of GTE
paper, but I felt posting to a BBS on company time would be wrong.
There was some logic to it. Downloading and printing these files was an
automatic process. I could work on other tasks while this was going on.
I'm actually quite ashamed of this, but those years in Dallas shaped my current
attitude about online culture. My "read-only" status, and my intense longing
for interaction with these people made the whole thing seem more important than
it was.
These were ordinary people, confused kids just like me. But reading their posts
in my room every night, 300 miles away, they became celebrities.
I tried to insert myself into the Dallas BBS culture, but it just didn't work.
There were a lot more boards to choose from, but these kids just weren't as
smart as the people I knew in Lubbock. Neurochick and JMG were like the first
family of the digital underground. For whatever reason, Lubbock BBS culture was
a cut above everywhere else I called.
Stuck in a town full of rednecks and religious fantatics, the Lubbock culture
was an escape, a refuge from a town that felt like a prison. The adversity made
us stronger. It made us smarter. It made us introspective. And it made us
funny!
Two [actually three] major text file groups started in Lubbock, and a half-dozen
others are worthy of praise. The most famous is the Cult of the Dead Cow</a>.
You probably know them as the creators of Back Orifice.
I was never in cDc. I met the founder at a party once. Ratte' was going to
publish one of my files, but it never quite happened.
Honestly, I'm disappointed that cDc has become famous for real hacking. The
original cDc was a reaction against the arrogant, pretentious text files coming
from real hacker groups. I think cDc #200</a> captures the true spirit of cDc.
After a decade of quality stuff, I still think #200 is the best thing they ever
did.
cDc wasn't formed by hackers. It was formed by *posers*! -- proud, artistic
posers who frequently got their asses kicked on the digital playground. cDc was
a rebellion against the rebels, a refuge for snaggle-toothed lamerz who couldn't
get accounts on an elite BBS.
Now cDc makes hacking tools that scare people at the New York Times (see
http://www.nytimes.com/library/tech/98/08/cyber/articles/02hacker.html). The
article calls cDc "one of the oldest and most-respected hacking groups."
What the fuck?
BO2K is a sweet piece of code, but you guys will never be as a cool as 'Lil
Bunny FOO-FOO.'
I still respect cDc and I support its current mission, but dammit, I miss the
old cDc.
The cDc I remember wasn't about codez or warez or hacking or any of that shit.
cDc was about art -- weird, sick, twisted, fucked-up art.
I didn't want to see the guys get famous for Back Orifice or Gerbil Feed Bombs
(see cDc-0001.txt). I wanted them to get famous for shit like cDc-0012.txt.
cDc appealed to me because they understood the people behind the keyboards.
They tapped into the angst and frustration felt by smart kids all over the
world.
But somewhere along the way, they grew up.
We're living in a different time now. Digital culture has gone mainstream.
Smart is cool. BBS culture is dead, and the Internet rules the Earth.
In most ways, it's a better world. But I still miss the old days. I miss the
days when it was six kids from Lubbock, taking on the world, one file at a time.
-+- Mouseketeer Roll Call -+-
Today, I know people who know people. There's a new generation of Lubbock
writers out there, but now they're growing up, too. The "thank you" list in the
GwD text files (see gwd50.txt) reads like a Who's Who of Lubbock BBS culture,
from 1989 to 1995.
"Acid Warlock (RnD), Ailanthus, Aracnia, Bezor Nova, Black Francis, Bob the
Master of the World, Brazen, Breed_x, Bruno, Calypso (Zelia Winter), Captain
Harlock, Chiba, Chilly Con Queso, Comrade Lenin, Cybereye, Diamondback,
fastjack, Filo, Flea Killer, Franche Coma (Steve Ignorant), Franken Gibe,
Genaerik, Hallucination, Hoggle (Wiley Coyote), Bill Hooper, Iron Priest,
Izzy, Jaffo, Jakyl, Kaptain Kilobyte, Kilroy, King Arthur, KPND, Lasher,
Malachi, Miyamoto, Mogel, Mohawk Dave, m0m, Mr. Q, Pride, Psychosomatic
Illusion, Queen of Chance, Random, Ratt Fink, Ronin Darkheart, Rory, Seth
the Woman, Sir Flea, Siva, Shadowhawk, Snotty, S00per Sperm, Squig, Stein,
Swedish Shef (Spanky McDougal, Sir!), The Lizard King, TransDerm-Nitro,
Trojan-Man, Unik, Wizard of Id, Zach D., Zen, Zippy"
I only recognize half of these.
Acid Warlock ran Purple Hell, the closest thing I ever had to a warez account.
I remember Ailanthus as being gentle. A lost soul on the highway of life.
Aracnia was Diamondback's psycho girlfriend. She could put her feet behind her
head. That's the only thing I remember.
Zelia Winter was some chick who did a lot of drugs over at Zippy's house. To
this day, I don't know if she was turning up her nose at me.
Captain Harlock is still alive and kicking at Legion West
(http://www.ttu.edu/legionwest/).
Diamondback is Matt, bouncing back and forth between Lubbock and Phoenix like a
billard ball looking for a pocket.
fastjack is Angry Mike the Tank Killer. "Get drunk, join the army, kill a
Commie for Jesus, YEE HAW!" Angry Mike isn't so angry anymore. He's got a job
and a girlfriend, and a future waiting for him somewhere in Dallas. One of the
sharpest wits I have ever encountered. I'm pretty quick, but this guy was
*amazing*. Army life and a steady girlfriend have taken the edge off his humor,
but he's still got that gleam in his eye...
Franken Gibe is old school cDc. A local legend who ran a BBS called "The
/<ingdom of Shit" (see http://www.greeny.org/kos/). Just a crappy little WWIV
board with the most fucked up sub names you ever saw. I got an account there in
'89, after all the interesting stuff was over. ["I beg to differ. Trojan-Man
would probably agree that the "interesting stuff" was over by '89. The BBS
lived until '95, you know." - Lobo Licious]
Hallucination is John. I never said five words to the guy, but he always had a
smile on his face, and he laughed at all my jokes, even the ones nobody else
got.
I only met Izzy once. Quiet guy. Long hair. Glasses. A kind, gentle soul who
was/is a graphics god.
Genaerik. I remember Genaerik is Napalm is Aerik Aeriksson. There was always
something lost about him, a kind of disconnected fear that made you look over
your shoulder whenever he was around. He was a nice guy, but he always seemed -
haunted.
Jaffo - some poser who thinks he's Old Skool.
Kaptain Kilobyte - Christ, is the Kaptain still alive? He was PRE-Old Skool.
The name of his board escapes me [It was called "The Kaptain's Korner." - Ed.],
but the Kaptain was the grand old man of the Lubbock BBS scene. The day he took
his board down was the day the music died.
KPND - I never can remember who was who. I think this was an alias for Swamp
Ratte' [Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. - Ed.], but I'm probably wrong.
Lasher - Of all the 2nd generation, I would vote Lasher as "most likely to be
hunted by the FBI."
Lobo - Randolph Carter, p/k/a Lobo Licious. You know the guy who was class
president? The guy you hated? Randolph was *Vice* President, the guy who did
all the work while the Pres got all the chicks. In 10 years, Randolph is gonna
own some company somewhere and be on the cover of Forbes. You heard it here
first. ["Hey Jaffo, let's make that 15 years." - LL]
m0m - I believe this refers to Diamondback's mom - a happy, personable woman who
remains *disturbingly* sexy, well into her 40's.
Neurochick - NC was a geekgurl before geekgurls were cool. And, if you believe
the gossip, just as sexy in real life as she was online...[If anyone has the
Neurochick .gif or .jpg or whatever, send it to GwD@GREENY.org, and it will be
added to the GwD and Family Photo Album, even though she most likely doesn't
even know that we exist. - Ed.]
Psychosomatic Illusion - Another cornerstone of BBS culture, Psycho ran a
prominent BBS [Psycho's Chiropractic Institute (PCI)], long after the old ones
died.
Ratt Fink - Lobo's brother. He offered me pot once.
Seth the Man - the indomitable Seth. One of the few BBS people I still keep in
touch with.
TransDerm-Nitro - Another name I recognize as Old Skool, although I don't think
we've met.
Trojan-Man - A provocative handle for a provocative man. This was the handle
used by Tro-Jason. One of the most interesting people I've ever met. He came
down for a visit last month and dragged my happy ass to a strip club.
Zach D. - Whatever happened to Zach? He had a web page for a while and just
vanished. We need some kind of milk carton program for lost Hackers.
Zen - My friend Mike, a gentle giant with a hot girlfriend. Zen and Tonya
helped me through a rough patch last year...
Zippy - The redoubtable Zippy. He and I hated each other's guts for a period
in 1992 (or something.) At one point, we were friends. He had Sysop access on
my old BBS ("Chiseled Spam"). During our feud, he dropped to DOS and did a
deltree on my WWiV directory. I flew into a rage and had it back up running
Renegade, six hours later. Zippy and I reconciled later that year. I forgave
him for nuking my BBS, but I will *never* forgive him for making me eat Thai
food. Jesus, they used so much curry powder, my intestines bled for a week.
If you know any of these people, if you *are* any of these people, please drop
me a line.
Jaffo, 10/15/99
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
-+- Lobo Licious's Response -+-
Jaffo's original version of this text (that doesn't seem to exist anywhere
anymore) named some other people. Here are my $.02 about them (I just responded
to those that he specifically asked about):
let me set you straight on some of the people in the "thank you's," though...
i'll answer a few of your questions about people and fill in the holes a bit, if
you don't mind... word.
Bill Hooper is not a Windmill guy. [Jaffo had thought that Bill was part of the
largest pay BBS in 806 from back in the day]. Bill Hooper is (Seth and I and
others') friend from High School. He's better than you.
Black Francis isn't local. [Apparently, Jaffo had asserted that BF was local.]
He's from Philadelphia. He ran a BBS with an 800 # (which is how I was able to
call) called "Goat Blower's Anonymous." He's a co-founder of "doomed to
obscurity" (http://www.dto.net/).
Bob the Master of the World is formerly known as Leif After Deth and Buttworm.
Brazen is Zippy's friend in Maryland(?). He ran the first GwD Distro. Site
outside of 806, and he probably didn't even know it.
Iron Priest is now just Priest. He wrote gwd75.txt, the most disturbing text-
file since "Bunny Lust."
KPND is short for KP Neato Dee.
Mohawk Dave is not JMG. Do you remember when his BBS was "Canis Mortis,"
waaaaaay back before it was called "Trend"?) Anyway, MD is still truckin'. He
never ran a BBS (to my knowledge).
m0m does indeed refer to DB's mom.
Queen of Chance was Mohawk Dave's girlfriend (still is, as far as I know). She
was quite witty, quite intelligent, an awesome bass player (so I hear), and
quite attractive.
Sir Flea - Seth and I went to high school with him. He writes for GwD, from
time to time (his best work, IMO, is "Commentary On Just a Bunch of Stuff I
Thought About When I Was Stoned and Bored," gwd61.txt).
TransDerm-Nitro ran a BBS for years and years called GridPoint. He's way old
school. He was a drummer in several Lubbock bands, the most notable of which is
"Sekrut Squirrel," a punk band that included Franken Gibe (vocals), Mohawk Dave
(guitar), and Swamp Ratte (backing vocals, guitar -live, only), and Iceman
(after TdN moved to Oklahoma).
That's probably about it, as far as "regular" bbsers are concerned. Most of the
other people in that list are people from Jr. High/High School that Seth and/or
I somehow roped into calling a few BBSes...usually just Seth's BBS, actually.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
--- The GwD High Council ---
Top Worshipper Type of Guy - Lobo Licious
Top Dog Type of Guy - Seth The Man
Top Organizer Type of Guy - Ratt Fink
Worshipper Type of Guy - Diamondback
Dog Type of Guy - TransDerm-Nitro
Advisor/Corsair - Yancey Slide
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
/-----------------------***** GwD Propagandists *****--------------------------\
| Lobo Licious - Seth The Man - The Lizard King - Yancey Slide - Sir Flea |
| Zippy - Aracnia - Zen - Trojan-Man - fastjack - Diamondback - Bill Hooper |
| Lasher - Mogel - Izzy - Bob the Master of the World - K2 - Carson - Rainne |
| Trailer Park Queen - The Mad Screamer - Priest - Snotty - Purpldrgn |
| Pezzy - Otis - Franken Gibe - Kilroy - Kp Neato Dee - Jaffo |
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------/
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I would not hesitate to bury an axe in the child's head, if it attacked me."
- stuN reeB
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<-+- A S M D -+->
GR33NY LIK3S mash3d p0tat03s
MORE THAN FIVE YEARS of ABSOLUTE CRAP! /---------------\
copyright (c) MCMXCIX Jaffo :SHIT YOUR PANTS:
textfile copyright (c) MM GwD Publications/GwD, Inc. : GwD :
All rights reserved \---------------/
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