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Greeny World Domination 122
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w _____ ____ 1 222 222 "Geekified Hovel" w
D // | \ 11 2 2 by Seth The Man D
* || ____ | || | 1 222 222 *
G || || \ / | || | 1 2 2 issue #122 of "GwD: The American Dream G
w \\___// \/\/ |____/ 111 222 222 with a Twist -- of Lime" * rel 05/17/02 w
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My apartment is a mess.
There really is no question of how much of a geek I am, after one looks at my
apartment. I impress the pizza delivery guys with my geek apartment. The view
from the doorway is of my 19" equipment rack, which houses all my stereo
equipment (Sony dolby/dts receiver, VCR, digital cable box), Chaos (my server,
in it's nifty rackmount matte black case), my old 19" monitor (almost 5 years
and still brilliant. Doesn't pay to skimp on monitors) and my center channel
speaker stacked up high, on top of the rack. My front speakers are positioned
about 4' to either side of the rack, my rear speakers in the ceiling corners
opposite, and my sub just to the right of Entropy (my entertainment computer)
which is to the right of the rack...yea, don't worry, the sub is shielded. Set
above the sub, to the right of the rack is the excellent ChaosLAN sign that
[Hallucination] made from an old satellite dish. Positioned just in front of
the rack and to the left is my nifty forest green leather chair. I love that
chair. My Mom had it redone in dark green just for me. Only problem is, the
guys who re-did it forgot to make the bottom buttons vents, so if you sit down
too hard in it, you'll fire a button off to some random corner of the room. I
have a coat rack behind the chair and a coffee table at the left hand of the
chair, where I set my laptop. Once you've stepped inside the doorway, you'll
see the wires strung all over the place. In true geek-bachelor style, I've
done little to hide the 12 gauge speaker wire and cat-5 cables that run all
over my apartment. Under the turtle art my sister made and gave to me, is my
ugly but surprisingly comfortable and frighteningly seductive pull-out brown
couch. It is just in front of the door now, moved to the wall so I could have
room for the dartboard & cabinet that [Priest] gave me, which is hung on the
wall opposite, at an incorrect height, waiting to be adjusted. Under the dart
board is my daystand, where I keep my cellphone charger (which is my only
phone, I've eliminated the landline), an antique crystal change tray with a
unicorn head carved in it (left to me by my great-grandmother), a rubber hand,
and a beer coozey stuffed with pens and an American flag. To the left of my
daystand, just past my hockey stick, is a shelf-unit thing that houses my
video and DVD collection. On top of that rests my fish, alpha(.7), in a
generally under-filled fish bowl with a black and white plastic
under-water-plant-thing behind the bowl instead of in. On the front wall of
the apartment is a coffee table passed to me from my parents through my
sister, which is stacked with an eclectic collection of items, like a
Spider-man book, and an old surveillance camera electric-taped to a power
transformer, and filled with incense. Speaking of cameras, the old ChaosCAM is
on the other side of the room, still attached to the servo (which allowed
limited movement). The camera still works. I have no clue as to the current
state of the servo. I should get that working again some day. I'll avoid the
kitchen, because aside from the Creede Reperatory Theatre poster behind my
kitchen table, it is most like any other kitchen. The downstairs 1/2 bathroom
has no toilet paper, and the closet under the stairs is half filled with old
computer monitors and an old lamp. The stairs head upstairs to where my full
bath, office and bedroom are. Cat-5 and speaker cable run up the outside of
the stairs to my office, to connect to my Bose bookshelf speakers and ethernet
switch which sit upon my bookshelves, half obscured by all the books that have
no more room inside the bookshelf. These books are composed mostly of Terry
Pratchet and Kurt Vonnegut Jr. The other space in the bookshelf is taken by
the green-monochrome monitors that are connected to the ChaosCam in the den,
and the PorchCam on the porch, whose wire runs from the monitor to my bedroom
window to down under the eaves on my porch. Across from the bookshelf in my
office is my desk, which is an old door placed on two filing cabinets. The
cabinet on the left is a plain old sheetmetal filing cabinet filled with old
floppy disks and various computer accessories. The other filing cabinet is a
pretty hardwood cabinet, and is filled with old financial documents, hardware
and software manuals, and my porn stash. I don't know why I hide porn in my
own apartment, being 23 and living alone, but I do. On my desk is an executive
lamp which is plugged in through an X10 module that responds to a motion
detector in my office. I have a lamp on my fish bowl downstairs which is also
activated by the motion detector, although I don't remember why. Behind the
lamp is a box which originally held candy cigarettes, (apparently used by
Spider-Man) but now contains a plastic figure of Spider-Man. Next to the candy
cigarrette box is a cell-phone/glasses cozy that is green and has a cat
knitted on it. It was made by my friend [Purpldrgn] from New Jersey who I have
not talked to for probably a year. I should really try and call her up again.
On the other end of my desk are my computer monitors. One is just sitting on
the desk, but the other is on an articulated arm that is bolted into the door
(one of the advantages to having a desk surface that was cheap is you can
drill holes in it). In front of the monitors are generally bills, old copies
of past-important documents, old harddrives, old CDRs, and a Far-Side calendar
that is apparently the last of the line in Far-Side off-the-wall calendars.
There is an old phone that my old girlfriend Tracie got for me sometime when I
was 15, so that I would use my phone line for telephone calls instead of my
BBS. It is black and has a 'Sekrut Squirrel' sticker on it. I also generally
set whatever book I am reading at the moment somewhere in this area, for when
I am waiting for my comptuer to do something. The actual computer is now under
my desk, along with my scanner and printer. My bedroom is cluttered. I have a
double-closet that has miscellaneous junk (old paintball equipment, softballs,
yo-yos) in boxes, my collection of computer hardware/software boxes that date
back to '95, all along the floor. On the racks are a few articles of clothes,
mostly jeans that don't fit anymore and shirts that I don't like anymore. The
rest of my clothes are scattered about the floor. These are, for the most
part, clean. I have a bad habit of just dumping my laundry basket out on the
floor after I do laundry so I can haul the next batch of dirty clothes down to
the washer. My dirty clothes are collected in two different boxes in the
corner of the room behind my closet door. Along one wall I have a collection
of isolated socks. And on the front wall, next to the window, my bed sits
under a giant 'Mixed-Up' poster. Hanging from the ceiling in the corner over
my bed is my reading lamp and only light source in the room aside from the
closet light. At the foot of my bed is another sheet-metal filing cabinet
filled with random things like discarded monitor stands and old walkmans. On
top of the cabinet is my alarm clock/radio/phone, from which I use only the
alarm clock. Next to that is the lava lamp my sister gave me for Christmas. It
has blue water and green lava.
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Issue#122 of "GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" ISSN 1523-1585
copyright (c) MMII Seth The Man/GwD Publications /---------------\
copyright (c) MMII GwD, Inc. All rights reserved :SEND MORE MONEY:
a production of The GREENY world DOMINATION Task Force, Inc. : GwD :
Postal: GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 \---------------/
FYM -+- http://www.GREENY.org/ - editor@GREENY.org - submit@GREENY.org -+- FYM
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