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Greeny World Domination 011
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G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e
Presents:
"Censorship: The School Play"
by Lobo and Spanky McDougal, Sir!
This is a play that we wrote for and performed in English class. The
theme was 'a problem that our society faces', so we chose censorship. The
play was to be ten minutes long, and we had to have costumes and a set. Our
group actually consisted of four members, but the other two did not actually
do any of the script writing.
Characters:
Teacher (our teacher actually portrayed this character)
Billy (non-writer/non-droog)
Store Clerk (Spanky McDougal, Sir!)
Jello Biafra (Lobo)
Mark Twain (Spanky McDougal, Sir!)
Act I
Scene 1
("School" is written on the chalkboard)
Teacher- Remember class, you all need to get a book for your book report by
the day after tomorrow, tomorrow being a holiday and all.
Scene 2
("School" is erased, and "Store" is written in its place. Some Dead Kennedys
records are displayed, and a nice sign is out about how you must be eightteen
to purchase them. Billy finds a copy of "Bedtime for Democracy", and brings
it to the clerk)
Narrator- Billy has gone to the local bookstore to pick up a book and find
some music to help him enjoy his day off.
Store Clerk- You want to buy THAT!?! Sorry kid, you gotta be eightteen to buy
that trash! Sorry, but why would you want it anyway?
Narrator- Billy is holding an album by Jello Biafra, singer of the Dead
Kennedys, a group that sells records with a strong anti-government message.
Jello is currently serving a federal prison sentencefor income tax evasion,
but here he is now on his work release program.
Jello- I've been censored again! The Man has put me in the pen, and I still
can't get away from these evil government plots to stifle the minds and free
will of the young people, like him!
(he points at Billy, while Jello finishes his speech, Billy looks around and
finally says:)
Billy- I need a book for my book report. Have you got a copy of 'Huckleberry
Finn'?
Store Clerk- Why would you want to read THAT politicallt incorrect sorry
excuse for literature?!? Don't you know that it's been banned from this
school system? It's pretty racist, ya know.
(Mark Twain steps out, looking a bit peaked, since he's been daed for awhile)
Narrator- And here's Mark Twain, fresh from the grave!
Twain- Here we go again. People are always misunderstanding me! 'Huckleberry
Finn' was written as a social outcry against slavery and racism, but its
meaning has been distorted by power happy watchdogs who misunderstand the
point of the book and cite as examples phrases much out of context. Hmmph!
The school board has no right to censor me because history is not politically
correct!
Jello- What a bunch of pinko commie fascist pigs! When a few appointed
officials can decide what our kids should and shouldn't learn in school
without consulting their parents, the government and all its twisted agencies
behind a masquerade of democracy has finally hit bottom!
Twain- Well, I wouldn't go that far. Some people might be overdoing it,
banning the teaching of the theory of evolution because some people find it
offensive and such, but for the most part it's not that bad.
Jello- But don't the kids like him have the right to choose what music they
listen to? It's just another government plot!
Twain- Children might not be responsible enough to choose appropriate or less
influential music, and adults can't really say that "he's responsible, give
him a music license, but he's a hoodlum, so just give him a learner's permit".
So many shootings by young'uns have been blamed on violent rap music and such
like that you can't really say that music doesn't affect people. Sure, the
music didn't make a kid shoot a policeman, but it didn't help! By the way,
the government doesn't censor people just to get at you. A lot of special
interest groups have put the pressure on, and everyone intends for the good of
the majority.
Jello- Of course musice IS influential, but although our song "Holiday in
Cambodia" does have a message, it doesn't mean that Cambodia is a nice place
to vacation. It might be though, I've never been there.
Twain- But how do you explain that to a teenage groupie whose only goal in
life is to own a lock of your hair?
Jello- Well, I guess people really do have to make their own decisions about
censorship. In MY opinion, though, the government should just stay out of it!
Narrator- Their conversation continues, too long for one ten minute school
play, no matter how brilliantly it's acted. Finally, Jello wraps up with one
of his favorite poems:
Jello- If you don't like the words I say,
Lock me up and throw me away.
Surround me with your panes of glass,
Censorship can kiss my....
Narrator(interrupting)- BUM!!!
(As Jello finishes the last line, he drops his pants and whirls around. A
black censorship dot appears before anything can be seen.)
Jello- I'm not even really HERE, and they can STILL censor me!!
Twain- This just shows that sometimes censorship can be a GOOD thing.
THE END
Note from the authors:
As this play was written for school, there was no cussing, though there
should have been. We would like to thank Low Tolerance for the "poem" that we
so blatantly stole from there song "Censorship". If you can't tell what the
last word of the "poem" is, think: what rhymes with 'glass' and is a synonym
of 'bum'? If you still don't know, you are very silly. If you didn't know
who Jello Biafra is before you read this, you are not worth wasting the time
to explain. Our only set change actually was just erasing 'school' from the
chalkboard and writing 'store' in its place. And of course, Lobo really did
drop his pants, but the teachercensored him, making him wear shorts under his
jeans. Our performance lasted about five minutes, instead of ten, and we got
a ninety-eight on it, which was the best grade in the class.
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copyright (c),1993 by Lobo and Spanky McDougal, Sir!
GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c),1993 by Lobo
All rights reserved to that Mean Green Dominating Machine
Take the Power Back
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