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Going Ape Shit Press 014
going ape shit press # 9 by hammerhead
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here's the ninth issue of gasp... about time that i released
another one... it being like about a week since the last
release... we're getting the 10th one out soon... it's going
to be a very distrubing story...
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A Tale of Addiction
Howard had heard all the horror stories, all the sad tales of lives
ruined, and still he hadn't beleived that he had become a victim of
an illness that ruined millions of lives every day and a trail; of
pain in it's wake. The people around him, his loved ones and friends
had seen the changes in him almost immediately, but like him they
thought he had the strength of will to keep the beast under control.
Looking back, Howard now realized that the beast had him under its
power from the beginning, and he was powerless to undo the damage it
had wreaked upon his soul.
With the hunger gnawing within him, Howard reflected back to the
day when he had first encountered this life destroying thing that now
ripped away his control and left him always thirsting for more. He
had been in his son's room helping his wife put away the laundry,
when he found it under his son's clean socks. He had been furious,
he'd seen the commercials on television, the ones where people got up
and confessed to being hooked, people with glazed looks of ecstasy on
their faces which belied the fact that they had given up their
freedom of choice for something they claimed was fun. With 20/20
hindsight Howard knew that the signs had been there that his boy had
been in trouble with something he couldn't handle. He and his friends
would rush home after school and lock themselves in Howie Jr's room
for hours on end, and when they finally came out, they would have that
empty-minded vacant smile pasted to their faces and utter strange
noises that didn't make any real sense at all. But Howard had been
too busy with work, and Howie had always been a responsible boy, and
aside from his odd after school behavior, he really didn't cause any
trouble, in fact, just lately his schoolwork was showing a very
definite improvement over previous years.
Now gazing sadly down into his son's sock drawer, Howard realizied
that the thing that every parent feared the most had happened to his
son, he had become HOOKED ON PHONICS. Although Howard went into
immediate action to try to help his son break the addiction, taking
him to the best doctors, putting him into the best rehabilitative
facilities, even getting his bus assignment changed so he would ride
the really short bus to school, on which he knew there would be no
Phonics pushers or addicts to put any further peer pressure on Howie
to use just to be part of the group. But sadly all of his efforts
were in vain, his son never really came back from the terrible mind
altering effects of Phonics. Phonics brought his son to his untimely
death, and left Howard needing an escape, a way out to deal with the
pain of losing his son. Howie had been crossing the street on the
way to his bus stop, when in the middle of the street he had a
Phonics flashback. He was still trying to sound out the license
plate of the eighteen wheeler when it struck him dead in the middle
of the street and kept on going. Ominously the truck was on it's way
to Howies school to drop off the latest edition of Phonics Books.
That's when Howard made the mistake of ever even opening his late
son's Phonics book. He had only wanted to understand what had
enslaved his son, wanted to know what had taken all control away from
his son who had always been so sensible and obedient. Now he found
that he understood completely, the monkey had climbed from his son's
back and onto his own. At first Phonics made him feel good, he could
pronounce words that had previously eluded him, and his diction and
vocabulary grew better and larger as a result. After reading a few
lessons however, Howard found it difficult to stop, he began to
pronounce sounds that had no meaning, any combination of letters was
a personal challange he could not back away from trying to produce
verbally. Combinations that were not humanly pronouncable were the
worst, for although he knew intelectually that he could not do it he
absolutely had to try anyway, often times straining his vocal for
hours long after his throat would begin to bleed.
Howard couldn't even remember when his life went completely out
of his own control. He had been devastated over the loss of his son,
but had still managed to carry on for a while. After he had started
using Phonics however, he began to stay up too late doing the very
things his son had done, singing the damnable song from that God
awful commercial, the one that didn't have any words, only letters of
the alphabet, going through medical books just to see if he could
pronounce all the medical terms, which were mostly Latin, a language
that has been dead for centuries and the average person would never
use in their lifetime. It became such a problem, that he couldn't get
up for work in the morning and couldn't go to bed at night, Howard
began skipping meals, eating only when his wife gave him Alphabits
for breakfast, or alphabet soup for lunch or dinner.
Slowly, people began to drift away from him, his friends stopped
calling to see how he was, mostly because they couldn't understand
any of the strange noises he uttered over the phone, his boss, tired
of covering for him, finally gave him a pink slip after he hadn't
shown up for work in three weeks, his wife moved back in with her
parents, and the bank forclosed the loan on his home after being
unable to cash any of his morgage payments because the checks he
wrote out were written out Phoneticly, which if sounded out would be
alright, but written down, the words on the amount line were
gibberish.
Now Howard lives on the street, a solitary lonely life that makes
him dependant on the kindness of others just to survive. Howard
lives day by day begging change from strangers to support his
alphabet soup habit, speaking gibberish to himself that no one but
himself can understand, and trying to remember what it was like to be
clean and free of Phonics. You may have seen Howard on a city street
and assumed that he was just a poor crazy homeless person, or an
alcoholic or drug addict that had let their desire for a good time
ruin their lives, but Howard never had a chance, once he picked up
the Phonics, like so many other victims, he could never let go and
his life was ruined. If Howard could still speak coherently, he
would beseach you, Stay away from Phonics, Don't pick it up and don't
ever use it, You could get Hooked. *
* The preceding has been a dramatic presentation sponsored by
the Foundation For The Treatment And Rehabilitation Of
Phonics Users And Abusers.
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scary stuff, eh kids? just learn from other's mistakes and you'll do
just fine...
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end shit and return to dos...
