Going Ape Shit Press MegaZine 005

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Going Ape Shit Press

 · 5 years ago

  

goin ape sheeit prez tha' mega'zine numbah phyve 
macked up by pip da angree yewf 

 -  - --+( wreckin' crew in full effect )+----------------------- -- -   - 

  yeah, i'm here... ready to tell you how it is ... shove it down your 
  throat and tell you it's the truth... and you'll fucking beleive it or 
  your ass is grass and i'm the ... uhhh... that thing with the wirlie 
  thing that does that... y'know... *THING*... makes the things get... 
  shorter... 

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  ode to a fart 

  oh silly fart! 
  you smell so tart! 
  you're a work of art! 
  oh wonderful fart! 

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  first off i'd like to review the new summer tv linup... but only the 
  shows that i feel will be worth watching at all.  i have also 
  implimented a rating system involving stars 

  ***** - excillent 
  ****  - decent 
  ***   - ok 
  **    - uhmm... 
  *     - i'd rather spend my time reading MiLK 

  network and slot: nbc, thrusday nights at 8pm 
  program: i'm right and you're wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong! 
  summary: watch the zany antics of the lovely and talented james 
           hetfield as he tries to cope with the normal hustle and 
           bustle of a college kid's life.  everything from his bisexual 
           girlfriend to the every day torrid humdrum that is a college 
           boy's life.  second season. *** and 1/2 

  network and slot: nbc, friday nights at 9pm 
  program: oh those crazy lesbians! 
  summary: a spin off comedy from the hit show "i'm right and you're 
           wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong!".  centered around the life 
           of rebecca, a one time heterosexual woman who finds members 
           of the same sex suddenly extremely attractive after dating 
           james hetfield.  the hilarity builds as we watch rebecca try 
           to hide her sexuality from her boyfriend until the season's 
           finale when james walks in on her with his very own mother! 
           **** 

  network and slot: fox, saturday mornings at 6am 
  program: the molesto the clown show 
  summary: watch the zany antics of molesto the clow (played by justin 
           labarge) every saturday morning!  everything from playing 
           "find the salami in the jaccuzi" with the boys in the 
           audience to "pet 'skinny' the spitting snake" with the female 
           members.  all this and more road runner cartoons and popeye 
           cartoons than you can shake a stick at.  * 

  network and slot: cbs, monday afternoon at 3pm 
  program: cerkit's hour of hate 
  summary: inspired by the novel _1984_, matt baumbach takes us on a 
           trip of unrelenting anger, frustration and general angst. 
           every show is unique with surprises at every corner.  segments 
           ranging from the normal to the bizzare; "grrr!@  i'm so 
           angry!@", "what sucks", and "i hate myself and everything 
           around me" are just a sample of the festivities.  *** 

  network and slot: abc, thursday nights at 8:55pm 
  program: tommy tells you a tale 
  summary: everyone needs a pick-me-up, and this is mine.  i religiously 
           watch this program.  a virtuoso of self-affirmations and "i'm 
           special!" speaches.  a must-see.  ****** (6@!#) 

  well, that's about it for now... once i take a look through the tv 
  guide next week i might just have something else. 

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  for a good time http://www.whitepower.com 

  see stupidity in a whole new medium!@  the 1st ammendment taken to 
  the extreme! 

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  official jamesy-rumor: 

  I HEARD THAT JAMESEY TURNED HIS GIRLFRIEND ONTO CHICKS!@ 

  IT'Z TREW!@ 

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  in future issues of gasp the mega'zine: 

  . more poetry 
  . more jamesy-rumors 
  . more favorite sites on the web! 
  . more fun stuff! 

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  get the latest copy of gasp the mega'zine online! 

  http://www.alfheim.net/~duncan 

  hate hits the web!@ 

  http://www.alfheim.net/~duncan 

  see pictures of naked women!@ 

  http://www.alfheim.net/~duncan 

  that url, once again, is... 

  http://www.alfheim.net/~duncan 

 duncan@alfheim.net / duncan@dto.net / duncan@digital.csionline.com 
                       duncan@always.never.net 

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