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Greeny World Domination 041
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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e
Presents:
"the mogtronix instant inside-joke maker 2000"
by mogel
(i'm a rebel! lower case forever!)
"mommie!@@!1" you cry out loud into the night as you awake from yet
another one of those nightmares with large hairy men that smell like taco
salads in their arm pits. those dreams are getting more realistic by the
day, aren't they? i think it's time to get professional help. mogel help.
inside jokes. the whole idea of it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
a bunch of people that are in some group have a joke and they're the only
ones that get it. i wonder why people can't make universal humor more
often. something like pure wit, that transcends petty goofiness.
what the hell am I talking about? someone slap me next time I babble
like that. the truth is that making special groups and cliques is wonderful
and very human. it's great to leave people out! it makes my butt cheeks
tingle at the very thought of making someone feel like an outsider. that's
why i've put inside jokes down to a study.
check it out, you wanna be the stud at parties don't you?! you want
all the girlies (with big titties!) to come talk to you right. but you
don't have muscles, a personality, looks, or money. what the hell are you
to do? you have nothing to offer anyone. you'll make no friends except
that retard kid down the street that no one talks to because he beats
himself with tree branches and laughs for hours on ends at the site of any
passing blue car. you'll die a 60-year-old virgin. is that a life?! is
that a motherfucking life!? no, it is not a motherfucking life! so, i ask
again in a fit of redundancy, what are you to do?!
enter the 'inside joke'. now you have a chance to tango with the big
boys. when someone walks up to you all you gotta do is say the most goofy,
rude, and asinine thing that comes to your minds.
example:
girlie -> hello. could you move out of the way so I can use the bathroom?
you -> don't you wanna see my 'corpus cavernosum'?
girlie -> oh, only if you wanna put it in my 'posterior commissure'!
see what i mean? here's a good rule to follow: you play stupid -
others will follow. it's as simple as that. on deeper analysis you'll see
that the inside joke is actually a tool to make everyone have something to
talk about, thus there won't be awkward silences that pierce the night like
the rage of a cow being milked.
at this point i'm one hundred percent sure that all of you are saying
to yourselves "this whole thing is all very interesting, eccentric, and
boring at the same time mogel. good job. but how can I make my _own_
inside jokes?!"
phear no more. making inside jokes are easy. they are invented all
the time. there are two more common types:
type 1 - 'i said something oh-so funny! let's totally ruin it's humor!'
this is the type of inside joke where someone has cracked a joke
while a group of you are hanging out. for example, if a group of guys
were sitting at a 2600 meeting and one of them said "let's make a new
type of box for phreakers - the shoe box!" and the other laughed lots
and replied "i'd rather make the sand box."
bingo, following this "conversation" that me and my pal frannie had
once, you see the invention of an inside joke. later, we proceeded to say
"wow! let's hack it!" whenever we came across any form of electronics or
machinery anywhere. basically the idea behind this type of inside joke is
to take something funny that was said in a conversation and relay it in all
it's various varieties over and over again, making the people that know the
joke laugh. this idea is so easy it's a wonder that there's so many losers
that don't get it. just say goofy stuff with a little humor, and if people
laugh go into overkill mode and say the joke until their ears bleed at that
crucial 'this is the right time to say it' time. this type of joke often
dies after a while, but fortunately, it's so easy to create these types of
inside jokes there's no chance of any real conversation with depth or
meaning. yes!@$#!1
type 2 - 'here's something totally random - stick with it forever!'
this is the most interesting type of joke because it makes people
laugh, but (by great irony) it's simply not funny. amazing but true.
i'm told that dead cheese is a master of this fatal special
super-natural ability. well, phear me magical cheese boy - i'm giving
away the secret plans!
this type of inside joke is created by letting your mind sit free and
wander. after you wander you drink a sprite and watch some T.V.
after you watch some t.v. and you masturbate to re-runs of _three's
company_, your mind comes up with a completely and totally random idea.
random meaning something with that oh-so insignificant quality. it's
best when it's something that sounds awkward and is a bit silly.
spam. turnip. rubber wallaby. rutabaga. chumpy galoshes. maple
syrup. toaster hacker. blue severed hamster head. rutabaga.
turtle. paper clip. rudyard kipling.
getting the idea? find that one object and nail the world with it
'til they get so sick of you they want to molest you like the psychotic
kiddie porn downloading ansi-artist you *are*. just accept it and move on
with your life. i know for a fact that abigwar will carry his 'wombat'
thing to his grave. cdc has latched on to the awkwardness of the common
cow. just use it or lose it. that's what I say.
at any rate, i hope this article served as a good introduction into
the exciting and profitable career of inside-jokes. go outside right now
and show off your new talents. that's right! go! run into the woods naked
tell everyone. they'll not only approve - it'll be an (*ding!*) inside
joke. don't go to the bathroom for three weeks and then pee the full load
on your grandma. she'll laugh for days. the possibilities are infinite.
have fun my children, and remember:
it's not what you say - it's how you say it!
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/---------------\
copyright (c) 1995 by Mogel of GwD, Inc. :FIGHT THE POWER:
GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c) 1993 by Lobo : GwD :
All rights reserved \---------------/
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