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Greeny World Domination 027
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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e
Presents:
"Rex et son ami Louis, Le Prochain Chapitre:
La rentre de les deux chouette hommes."
OR
"Rex and his friend Louis, The Next Chapter:
The return of the two cool men."
by Lobo
PREFACE
Well, we've all read the original Rex and Louis file, you know, the one
about how they hold up a liquor store and then The Crusader From Beyond (TCFB)
thwarts their dastardly plans? Well, okay, maybe we haven't ALL read it, but it
doesn't matter. This file isn't even related to that one, anyway. The only
similarity is the first names of the main characters, Rex and Louis. TCFB isn't
even part of this story. Oh well, here goes.
It was a hot day, in the middle of summer. Rex, a big time car thief, and
his best friend and closest business associate, Louis were out for a leisurely
stroll around the neighborhood. Well, they were walking along, and all of a
sudden, a man in a black trench coat stepped into their path. "You Rex and
Louie?" he growled. "Who's askin'?" said Rex behind a sneer. "Well, if you is,
I gotta give somefin to yuz. Is you or isn't you Rex and Louie?" the man said.
He was definitely becoming annoyed. "I'm Louis (with an emphasis on the 'iss')
and this here is Rex. Now, are you gonna give it to us?" demanded Louis. The
man opened his trench coat and said, "Here it is." He whipped out an uzi, and
did his best to shoot Rex and Louis. These boys had seen action before, so they
easily dodged the shots and grabbed the man, pinning him to the ground. "You
shot at us. You unbelievable bastard!" screamed Rex into the man's ear. "Who
sentcha? WHO SENTCHA?" demanded Louis whilst he beat the trench coated man (who
was now laughing)to a bloody pulp. "Guess," came his reply after he's lost all
of his teeth. Well, neither Rex or Louis was very bright, so when they were
done guessing it was dark and the man wished he would have told them in the
beginning. "We ain't guessin' no more," declared Rex, "So you better tell us,
or you're gonna be in a world of pain." "Jim Conway sent me. He wanted me to
dust you boyos off, but i had not idea you had such keen intellects. Tell me,
were you born that stupid, or did your parents drop you a lot. Neither Rex or
Louis realized they were being insulted, so they said nothing. "You guys wanna
find Conway? I'll take you to him."
Conway's office was near a suspiciously familiar convenience store. "Go on
in," suggested the man, who's name was Scott, as Rex had found his driver's
license, and we all know that hit men never lie about things or get fake ID's.
Anyway, inside, they were met by a man claiming to be Conway. "Why you want us
dead, you slime?" questioned Louis. "Maybe if you weren't such a fucker, you'd
know the answer to that question. You goddamn sons of bitches." He then shed
his suit, revealing none other than the costume of (dun dun dun) The Crusader
From Beyond! "Hey, you ain't supposed to be in this story! Let's get 'im!"
cried Louis. "Not so fast, motherfucker. You ain't fit to suck my dog's dick,"
he said as he proceeded to kick their asses royally "now, now, now, I wouldn't
have to kill you if it wasn't for one thing." "What's that, fuck-face?" said
Rex. "It's your names, dick-lick. I kill and/or maim and/or have arrested
everyone named Rex who has a close association with anyone named Louis. You
fuck!" he cried, as Louis shot him in the foot. Since TCFB is not immune to
bullets, he doubled over in pain. "Die, you butt-fuckers! Die!" even near
death, TCFB's dirty mouth didn't stop. "What are we? Huh? Butt-fuckers? Sons
of bitches? Dog-dick-lickers?" asked Rex in his best church-boy voice. Each
question was punctuated by a kick in the genitals by Rex and a gunshot in the
leg by Louis. "You goin' down, little man. Down!" screamed Louis. "Oh yeah?
Well, what about this?" as he said this, TCFB let loose with a super plama bolt
right into Rex! "Waitaminute...in dat other story, you didn't know how to use
you powers! What gives?" Louis asked, inquistively. "Well, you see, each time
I hurt anybody with your names that have a close working relationship (like you
shits), I gain the use of one of my powers. I learned this from the oracle in
my shitter. I believe humans call it a toilet. Well, anyway, it is actually a
member of a race that is indigenous to my plane of existence, they call
themsleves the Pish-Antes. Everytime you build a 'toilet', you yank one of them
from his or her home, you assholes! Well, it told me how to gain use of my
powers. You wanna know why I have powers here, but not at home?" <He then
thwaps the unconscious Rex and knees the badly hurt Louis in the groin> "Unh!
Yeah, tell us, pleeease!" whimpered Louis. "Okie dokie, asswipe. It's cuz yer
moon's really made of green cheese. If it was rock like every other moon, I
wouldn't have powers!" he said. "Why that hitman, then?" asked Louis. "He
wasn't no goddamn hitman. He's just the neighbor kid, and he needs some cash.
I set him up to get his ass kicked and bring you cock-suckers back to me," said
TCFB, letting loose with another plasma blast that killed Louis. He then left
the building and set it ablaze with yet another blast. "Good-fuckin'-riddance.
Buncha dicks." declared TCFB as he headed home.
AFTERWORD
Well, so I lied. TCFB was in it. He's the star anyway, right? This file
was written on a June afternoon in one half an hour when I was bored out of my
mind. That's why it lacked something that the original had. Look out for more
Rex & Louis files from GwD when I get around to writing them.
P.S.- If you don't like Rex, Louis, or TCFB, I'll consider quitting writing
files about them. I assume you can take it once in a while, though.
GwD Command Centers-
Chaos (806)797-7501
SysOp-Seth Sometimes (Mission Control)
GridPoint (405)920-1347
SysOp-Transderm-Nitro (First Conquest)
Federation Slayers' (806)798-8168
SysOp-Big Red Fed
The Starchy White Boy BBS (803)###-####
SysOp-Fastjack (Moved to South Carolina, number available soon)
Light My Fire (806)795-4926
SysOp-Ailanthus
The Snake's Den (806)793-3779
SysOp-Diamondback
The Siege Perilous (806)762-0948
SysOp-Longshot
Brazen's Hell (301)776-8259
SysOp-Brazen (Eastern Outpost)
Club Baby Seal (817)429-4636
SysOp-Zippy (Penile Implant Site)
/---------------\
copyright (c) 1994 by Lobo of GwD Inc. :FIGHT THE POWER:
GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c) 1993 by Lobo: GwD :
All rights reserved to The Guy with the Pot of Gold \---------------/
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