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Going Ape Shit Press 064
going ape shit press #64 by a few good souls
"john tesh lyrics"
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what is this? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!@ gasp?!@ back?!@ GASP?!@
BACK?!@ yeah baby! nothing but buttah!@ i would start in with that
back in black crap, but it's already been done (gaspmega.001)... i
could end gasp right here and now... but i've just started, and it's
been done before (gasp.059 gaspmega.006)... i could bitch about life,
but that's already been done also... (gasp*.*)... so guess what i'm going to
do... i'm going to write some poetry and a story!@ yay!@
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ode to an odiferous oddball
by pip the angry youth
oh my left testicle
why are you so discolored?
what are those things
that are hatching out of you?
they look like maggots
but they have teeth
and what's that black puss
could something be wrong?
could it possibly be
the barrels in the lake
or the d-con in my milk
who could be out there
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CONSPIRACY!$#%()*! ( mother fucker =) )
a poem of love, angst, and life in the new millenium by pezmonkey
okay, this is going to suck.
i quit writing for e'zines, but uh, pip sir told me to write for gasp,
and i said sure, because gasp is pretty cool, and i want to get in pip's
pants. the topic he gave me to write about is conspiracy. i don't
actually have anything to say, but since this is gasp, i don't think it
matters. basically, uh, conspiracy. . . let's see. well, everything's
a conspiracy. h0e, b0mb, mog3l's existence. . . and, of course,
college. college is the biggest conspiracy. i am having an existential
crisis about college, because i don't want to be here, and everything is
fake. it's a conspiracy because no one really cares about what you do,
or write. they're just sort of making you do it because it's always
been the rules, and you don't really want to write the papers or take
the tests, and whatever you actually write down (in/on either of those)
doesn't really make any difference ultimately. it just helps to keep
the smoking man in business in brazil. or something.
so, yeah, that was dumb. pretty incoherent, out of order, etc., other
things. i like spaghetti. and ramen. ramen is the biggest college
conspiracy. it is made out of leftover grain pieces and cow parts that
no one wants, and is sold for 10 cents a packet (though on good days, i
can find it for 5). but man is it yummy.
spice up your life. you pinko, left-wing, communist bed-wetter
conspiracist.
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the girl i'm going to marry
by pip the angry youth
is she just the most wonderful girl in the whole wide world? i'm in
LO0o00O00o0O0o0Oo0o0O0O0oVE!@ so neat!@ she wants to get into my
pants... she wants to be mine!@ she hates writing papers and wonders
why the hell she's forced to!@ it's PEZMONKEY... that chick who goes to
school in southern california who makes writing for zines sound
oh-so-dirty!@...
our wedding will be tragically simple, and wonderful, and elegant...
we'll start it off with circus midgets... dancing their little dances,
feasting on each other's flesh... it will be oh so sensual, we shall
watch them bathing in each other's blood... consuming all until there is
nothing left to consume... then the wedding guests shall join in on the
frenzy by rolling around in the pools of blood, rubbing it all over each
other... stripping the clothes off of the person closest to themselves,
hips and entire bodies gyrating with extreme pleasure... tasting each
other... trusting miscelanious body parts inside of other miscelanious
body parts... "ooh"ing and "aaahhh"ing... feeling the blood clot on
their skin... breaking open on their joints... lavishing in the pure
decadence of the act... loving every single moment of it...
and then we release the two dozen dobermans that we've been starving for
the past four days... they shall lunge upon the guests with great abandon,
tearing flesh from bone... gnaw on their facial features... ripping off
an ear here, a nose there... genitals coveted for the delicious giblets
that they are... we shall watch people fruitlessly try to escape the
feeding frenzy, just to get dragged back in ankles first... kicking and
screaming...
once the last breath has been taken, after the last vision of starving
dogs gnawing on their flesh has been enjoyed... we shall retire to the
romp room talking giddily to each other... wonderout out loud if the
guests truely enjoyed themselves, or if it was just an act to be
polite... we'll then go through the wedding gifts, laughing at how
idiotic the choices people made were... "who would ever want a frying
pan??? do *i* cook???", "great, a juicer... i need this like i need a
hole in the head...", "oh, honey! look! two tickets to see cats on
broadway!"... oh, we'll enjoy ourselves... but then the real fun
begins...
but that is another story... in a future gasp...
================================================( gasp )====================
well, so much for our resurgance... keep your eyelids peeled back and
wrapped around your head for the next issue of gasp... one of the oldest
text file lines in existance!@# (if you don't count uxu, cdc, hoe, or
whatever... but we're still old and shit!@#)
03jan95 - birth of gasp
12dec98 - this issue is released
our four year anniversary is coming up!@... phear!@
notpip@hotmail.com
http://www.alfheim.net/~duncan/gasp
