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Going Ape Shit Press MegaZine 002
date: january 7, 1997
from: gaspmaster@deadpuppy.org
to: you@terminal.net
subj: gasp the mega'zine number two
welcome to the second installment of going ape shit press the mega'zine...
things are the same...
we're still in philly...
and we still suck!@ but i bet you'll read it anyway!
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the following was going to be released as hate #1, but wires were crossed
and files lost in crashes so this is all we have left over. i hope
you find some amusement in this stupidity...
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like bf, i want to be like bf! - by frank de noir
to be like bf is a wonderful thing,
if i were him i'd sing sing sing!
all i want to do is freak a slut,
then take them to chucky cheese or pizza hut!
it's only illegal if you get caught,
without me all the little girlies won't get taught.
strike down on them like he does every minute,
if it's a five year old cunt, he's probably been in it.
i wish i could lie to girls and they'd beleive me,
so that way all the shitty things i do they can't see!
i want to be just like that bf guy,
but i'm not so all i can do is sigh.
-HATE-
irc log - by CuteGirl
i h8 bf! he is such n asshol! i thout he luved me n stuff, but he lyed.
so i went in2 irc 2 show evry1 how much of a asshole he can b! evn when i
was in there a girl had the same thing happin 2 her!
GIRLS, IF BF WANTS 2 D8 U, WATCH OUT! HE'LL USE U N DUMP U ON THE COMPUTER!
THATS WARE HE GETS ALL HIS GF'S! HEAR IS MY LOG:
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] r u m/f?
-> [bF] im a girl
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] how old are you? i'm 18.
-> [bF] woah! ur old! i'm only 12 ;)
*** bF has invited you to channel #littlegirlsex
*** CuteGirl (belinda@omni2.voicenet.com) has joined channel #littlegirlsex
*** Topic for #littlegirlsex: Group Therapy: ThePope is listening....
*** Topic for #littlegirlsex set by ThePope on Sat Oct 19 14:38:09 1996
*** Users on #littlegirlsex: @bF Grey-Wolf bud PeTe_ randy5 Susy stiff
MuffMaste DrJest Dadddy _Ziggy BlueSmoke @Giffy1 @Stacy12 @SugarNSpc
@Kristen13 @Mathilda1 @Dave39 Skywalker wishin CRIm32 snuffy CuteGirl
<CuteGirl> hey everyone! bf invitd me! ;)
<DrJest> hi littlegirl!
<CuteGirl> hi doctor! :) r u a reel doctir? ;)
<Daddy> muffmaster: hey, what was that ftp site you gave me the other
day?
<DrJest> a doctor of love, sweetie :)
<bud> wow, bF invites a little girl, suprise suprise...
<DrJest> do you want an operation? ;)
*** bud has been kicked off of channel #littlegirlsex by bF (STFU LAMER!)
<CuteGirl> ;) maybe
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] 12? wow, you're nice and young. y r u hear?
*** bud (admin3@mach.whitehouse.gov) has joined channel #littlegirlsex
<MuffMaste> daddy: it was 205.148.205.26 l: anonymous p: guest@
-> [bF] bkuz u invytid me sillie! ;) ;) ;) ;)
<Daddy> thanks! :)
<Grey-Wolf> n e 1 trading pix? /msg Grey-Wolf with any infos u may have!
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] o yeah :) so what do u look like?
<_Ziggy> grey: this is not a picture trading channel, goto #littlegirlpix
-> [bF] i'm 5 foot 4 in, brown hare n eyes. im 94 pounds
<BlueSmoke> hey, anyone want to hot chat a balding 40 something man with a
pot belly and lots of hair on his back who likes to look at pics
of pre-pubescent girls while he's not at the shoelace repair
shop working for $4.25 an hour?
<Grey-Wolf> fine.
*** Grey-Wolf has left channel #littlegirlsex
<Susy> hey bf you asshole, y don't u return my fonecalls?
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] wow! u sound hot! got any picturez?
<bF> susy: because i don't want to, ur boring and old.
-> [bF] who's susy? is she ur ex gf?
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] sort of, we had sex n now she thinks im her bf :(
<Susy> but im only 14! how am i 2 old? i love you, u sed u luved me!
<bF> susy: sorry babe, i was wrong.
-> [Susy] u datid bf 2? he lyed to me lyke he lyed 2 u 2! i h8 him!
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] bf hehe bF hehe :) :) :) :)
[Susy:vikdum@dumb.chatboard.net] i kno! hes a dick!
-> [Susy] ill get him 4 us. im savin this 2 a file :-)
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] shes just a lyar ne way.
-> [bF] oh ;) she sounds lik a bitch. what do u look lik?
[Susy:vikdum@dumb.chatboard.net] ok! god i h8 him! he shood die.
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] yeah, she pretty much is.
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] im a bit under 6 foot short bleached hair
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] blue type eyes. im in a ska band.
[Susy:vikdum@dumb.chatboard.com] hehehe. ur kool!
-> [Susy] thanks :) ur not so bad urself! :)
-> [bF] wow! u sound cute! where do u live?
*** HotCock (ircuser@bbs.metaonline.com) has joined chanel #littlegirlsex
<HotCock> hello?
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] a town called hatboro
<Dave39> any cute girls want to talk to a seXXXy older man interested in a
long lasting _mature_ relationship?
*** Mode change "-o+b *!*@*.metaonline.com" on channel #littlegirlsex by bF
*** HotCock was kicked off of #littlegirlsex by bF (get out of here chat
board lamer :) :) :) :))
-> [bF] hey! i'm in bensalem!
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] hey ur not far from here! ;) i feel like
i know u! feel like hangin out?
-> [bF] sure! my friends n i r goin to south street! wanna meet me there?
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] y not? where on southstreet?
-> [bF] corner of 27th and south
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] uhm isn't that a little rough of a
neighborhood?
-> [bF] it's my friend's house ;) were gonna go up 2 da diner after
bein there 4 a bit ;) pleese cum!
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] ok ok ok what time do u want me there?
-> [bF] what time is it now?
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] 912pm
<_Ziggy> hey! who the hell keeps on invitin me 2 this #zines channil?
-> [bF] how bout in like 2 hours? sound good 2 u?
<_Ziggy> what the hell is a zine anyway?
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] sure! i'll b there!
-> [bF] ok! im gonna go showir anna get dressid. ill meat u there!
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] sounds peachy keen! ;) ;) ;) ;)
<PeTe_> ziggy: i think it's like a magazine, but not quite. i know it has
words and stuff in it :)
-> [Susy] it's done! i tole him 2 meet me in da ghetto! :) :) :) :)
[Susy:vikdum@dumb.chatboard.net] yes! he will die :) :) :)
-> [bF] bye bye
<_Ziggy> pete: fuck that. hell, gimmie a nice pik of a 12 yr old girl
squattin over a 7" dildo and some guy peein in her face and im
a happy guy. i dont need 2 reed, im edukatid enough as it is :)
[bF:jlabarge@voicenet.com] bye. hugs!
-> [bF] hugs
-> [Susy] ill tel u what happns l8er
<randy5> hey bF: where are those pictures you said you'd get to me yesterday
in trade for that site?
<bF> shut the fuck up lamer. :'(
*** CuteGirl has left channel #littlegirlsex
i nevr herd frum him again. o well, no big loss. hopefullly he died r
sumptin. i hope sum1 lerns a lessin frum all of dis! bye!
-HATE-
bf sounds like bj - by frank de noir
bf you are funny guy
you smell like pumpkin pie
i hope you do not die
because then i'd cry
maybe
-HATE-
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welcome gasp the mega'zine's first outsider author!@ you may remember him
as mendlivian from the old gasps... but now... he is...
(drum roll please)
suicidal chicken!@
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Subjective Perception, Objective Hell
I am ugly. Before you disagree you should ask yourself what do you
mean when you say I am not. In the same way Gilbert Ryle in
Systematically Misleading Expressions in section III refers to the
confusion between what a thing is and how it is described, when you
refute my claim that I am ugly you do so possibly on account that you do
not believe what I am to be intrinsically ugly; in other words, ugliness
is not a necessary characteristic of me. When I say I am ugly, I do not
mean that somehow my very soul would possess ugliness, or that it could
only fit into such a body.
On the other hand, you may disagree because you find me beautiful.
However, unless that engenders attraction, you have misunderstood the
meaning of the term "ugly". Like the term "force" in Pierce's "How to
Make Our Ideas Clear," to assign beauty and ugliness a status independent
of our perception, as if they were noumenae, is to confuse our meanings.
Calling me beautiful without being attracted to me is to say an object
is heavy, but it will not fall from a height, of assigning the
characteristic of hardness to an object, and then easily breaking it
apart. Ugliness, as much as force, hardness, or heaviness, is a
judgement, not a thing or an accident, and to assign it to me without
being attracted to me is to reify the concept of beauty, from a
subjective judgement created in your mind to that of an objective
characteristic that exists in me.
When you say that I am not attractive, but yet not ugly, you break the
rules of the language game, and your assertion takes on the elusiveness
of jam in Lewis Carrol's "Through the Looking Glass." It is to not
realize that, as Wittgenstein pointed out in "Philosophical
Investigations," that the meaning is the use. The best that can be hoped
for in your use of the term beautiful but not attractive is that you
have confused what you think is a characteristic in me with the
knowledge that others may find me attractive, giving you the
epistemological warrant to call me beautiful by conducting an analysis
of the judgements of others. Admit that at this point your contention
that I am beautiful has much less impact than it had when you started,
because now I am not beautiful in and of myself, as you had hoped, but
rather I do not possess an aesthetic quality as an essential
characteristic. In return I will not consider myself ugly in the same
way. However, I can still lament the fact that I will never be
beautiful in the sense you first intended; as logical as my mind is, my
emotions and appetites know not the finality of a contradiction.
So, let us face the empirical fact that whatever be my makeup, it is
not attractive, and is thus ugly. This is because performative sense,
ugly describes me most accurately in the context of the sexual reality
in which I live. The nature of sexuality is such that if I do not use
force, as I do not, I must rely on the willingness of others. And
others are not willing. Thus I am ugly, for in light of the preceding
paragraphs, what else can be said of my situation, other than that it is
the lot of one who is ugly?
At this time I should clarify the meaning of attractiveness and
ugliness. I do not speak of only physical characteristics. I mean the
phemenological Worlds others. These subjective appetites construct the
objective reality, the facticity of my subjective reality. Due to the
social nature of sexuality, I cannot get around the subjective appetites
of others. No matter how skewed they may be, no matter how much it may
be their loss, their ignorance drags me down as well. They are in
possession of my sexuality, whether I like it or not. They are the
custodians of my sexuality, and they have decided to be prison guards
rather than caretakers. As little objective reality on which this
dysfunctional culture bases its persecutions of me, they are the society
in which I operate, and thus it is to them I must look for my sexuality.
And the world they have constructed for me, as subjective as their
reasons for fashioning it may be, is as objective as a baseball bat to
the teeth. Thus I feel warranted in taking the term ugly to describe
me, for whether I possess it as an essential characteristic, or it
describes me in the same subjective, imaginary sense that physics
describes force, heaviness, or hardness, the effects are the same. The
immediate reasons for my sexual failures are accounted for as well as
under any other system, and the evidence trickling in as to the reasons
for these failures are presented much more compactly and much more
accurately, simply by calling me ugly.
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And on the day woman was created, it was said unto man
"toucheth not this bitch until you are of legal age"
and the governers gathered and pondered for 4 days and 4 nights
until they were done.
the following day tripe riddeth the road into gaspillion,
the living place of the governers, and they proclaimed unto him:
"thou shalt not toucheth this bitch lest thou have 18 years"
and henceforth law was passed that none shall touch woman lest
they had 18 years and so it was until the unrighteous was given kidporn.
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THAT'S ABOUT IT, YOU BITCHWHORESNATCHMOTHERFUCKERASSCOCKMONKEYFAGGOTS!@#
please, tune in next time for more crazy wacky zany antics from my staff
and i... but until then...
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU...
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duncan@alfheim.net
