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Fuxin Eleet Haxor 03
/FFFFFFFFFF /EEEEEEEEE /HHH /HHH
\ FFF_____/ \ EEE____/ \ HHH \ HHH
\ FFF \ EEE \ HHH \_HHH
\ FFFFFFFF \ EEEEEEEEE \ HHHHHHHHHH
\ FFF___/ \ EEE____/ \ HHH__/ HHH
\ FFF \ EEE \ HHH \ HHH
\ FFF ___ \ EEEEEEEEE ___ \ HHH \ HHH ___
\__/ /\__\ \/________/ /\__\ \/__/ \/__/ /\__\
\/__/ \/__/ \/__/
EELING LEET ACKERS
Issue #3
November 9th, 1995
Editor: ReDragon
Official FEH Sax Player: Loq
Official FEH Birthday Boy: Hotrod
Official FEH Gun Holder: Loki
Official FEH Indian Dude: Olphart
Official FEH Indiana Dude: Junkman
Official FEH Ninja: TFish
Official FEH T-Shirt Supplier: Artimage
Official FEH Basic Coder: Max-Q
Official FEH Fire Breather: TheeJoker
Official FEH Autistic Boy: Deth Veggie
Official FEH Drunk Irish Guy: The Dodger
Official FEH Negative Greetz: SnoNinja
Official FEH Street Preacher: Gweedz
Official Print Brother of FEH: 2600
Official FEH Vegetable: Eggplant
Official FEH Musical Instrument: Saxaphone
Official FEH Spoken Language: Esperanto
Official FEH Cartoon Show: Gummi Bears
Official FEH Protocol Suite: TCP/IP
Official FEH Functional Language: Lisp
Official FEH Distribution Site: ftp.fc.net /pub/defcon/FEH
Greetz To Some of Da Eleetz:
(and no bitchin' if yer not here, I'll catch ya next time)
albatross, armitage, artimage, asriel, b, bl0ke, bluesman, b0b, clovis, crax,
deker, discodan, drunkfux, earle, etrigan, fuz, gfm, gheap, ghornet, gwar,
Hod, hosaka, kc, kewp, krosis, lgas, malice, meowmix, morph, negro, novocain,
okinawa, oof, opii, professor, rs, sevenup, shoo, swinder, taproot, tek,
tele/phone, tewph, tobias knight, tsoul, twi, X, xgirl, x0x, Y.
Another One?
As promised, we have done it again. We have now distinguished ourselves
from the droves of 'zines that make it but 1 or 2 issues, and face even more
of a challenge as we move from the initial rush of ideas into a long road of
consistent excellence. It is only through time that we shall truly
show that FEH has a place in the hacker community.
We are somewhat sans commentary this issue, I guess I didn't feel duly
inspired, I'll make up for it with something really deep next issue :-)
So, as always the inevitable question lingering is, when is FEH #4 coming?
Right now there are other projects that need attention, and so FEH will have
to take in my own life a slightly lower priority, but FEH is not just my
pursuit, and so the other members of the FEH team will be getting more involved
in it and I can sit back a bit and watch it thrive. FEH #4 will be out
sometime mid to late december. If you are interested in writing, in particular
technical articles or a commentary, please get in contact with us.
If you are reading this and thinking, some of these people are way cooler
than me, or most of these people are way stupider than me, think again. It
is the process of learning that makes a hacker, I have far more respect for
a newcomer that knows relatively little but is learning and developing new
ideas than I do for someone that knows everything but does nothing with
that vast knowledge that they have. Don't be afraid to start along that
path, hacking is as alive and exciting as ever, and don't be afraid or
intimidated by people that know more than you; if you really care about
hacking, you will win over their respect. Eleetness is a state of mind.
-ReDragon
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
Table of Contents:
General Stuff
Intro
Table of Contents
/var/spool/mail/feh
Technical Articles:
FOVC C code by Ho' DeFone
TCP Decode in Perl by entropy
SnifFTP by ReDragon
Entertaining Articles:
CERT Advisories by b0b & casret
Urban Cow Tipping by Anonymous
The REAL #hack FAQ by t3
Sekrets of the Superhacker by morph
A Sick Article by xgirl & gwar
A Poem by y
A Pumpcon Review by y
A REAL Pumpcon Review by Hotrod
A Bedtime Story by LANsharc
The Pantomine Horses by y
A0L Spools
Some other random spool
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
/* This program translates the FOVC to allow you, yes you to follow
cellular conversations on you motorola. This program is trivial
and simply automates some easy math. Read the Motorola Bible
for more details.
Ho' DeFone/MHP */
#include <stdio.h>
#include <strings.h>
char *hextobin(char *farmer,char pig[14])
{
int x;
for (x=0;farmer[x]!=0;x++)
{
switch (farmer[x])
{
case '0': strcat(pig,"0000"); break;
case '1': strcat(pig,"0001"); break;
case '2': strcat(pig,"0010"); break;
case '3': strcat(pig,"0011"); break;
case '4': strcat(pig,"0100"); break;
case '5': strcat(pig,"0101"); break;
case '6': strcat(pig,"0110"); break;
case '7': strcat(pig,"0111"); break;
case '8': strcat(pig,"1000"); break;
case '9': strcat(pig,"1001"); break;
case 'a': strcat(pig,"1010"); break;
case 'b': strcat(pig,"1011"); break;
case 'c': strcat(pig,"1100"); break;
case 'd': strcat(pig,"1101"); break;
case 'e': strcat(pig,"1110"); break;
case 'f': strcat(pig,"1111"); break;
}
}
return pig+2; /* returns a pointer which strips 2 MSB off of the binary # */
}
void main(int argc, char *argv[])
{
char pork[14],*farm;
long int turkey;
if (argc != 2 || (strlen(argv[1])!=3)) {
fprintf(stderr,"fovc: must supply a 3 digit hex number\n");
exit(0);
}
farm=hextobin(argv[1],pork);
turkey=strtol(farm,(char **) NULL, 2);
printf("%ld\n",turkey);
}
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
#! /usr/local/bin/perl
# tcpdecode 1.0 by entropy@gnu.ai.mit.edu 24Oct95
# usage: tcpdump -l -x -s 1500 | tcpdecode
#
select(STDERR); $| = 1; select(STDIN); $| = 1; select(STDOUT); $| = 1;
$sep1 = $sep2 = pack("A79", ""); $sep1 =~ s/ /* /g; $sep2 =~ s/ /-/g;
$data = "";
while (<>) {
if (/^\t\t\t (.*)$/) {
$data .= $1;
} else {
$data =~ s/\s// g;
$data =~ s/(..)/$1 /g;
chop($data);
@data = split(/ /, $data);
grep(($_ = pack("c", hex($_))) && 0, @data);
$data = join('', @data);
$data =~ s/[^\s!-~]// g;
print "$data\n$sep1\n$_$sep2\n";
$data = "";
}
}
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
Snifftp
A BPF FTP Packet Sniffer
by ReDragon
(thanks to log for critique of the code)
A general purpose sniffer has the problem that the resulting amount of
data is huge; it is difficult to weed out the garbage from the sort of
things that you actually want to keep. The solution is to customize your
sniffer so that only the actual data you wish to keep is actually logged.
In this example, we want to be able to capture any FTPs that are sent
across the network, and preserve them in exactly the form transferred so
that any sort of compression or cohesion between packets (not generally
important with ascii text) will be preserved. This should serve as a
basis for going off and writing your own BPF based sniffers, and it is
not intended that you actually use this one. Hacking is accomplished
by doing, not by reading someone else's implementation.
Cutting this code out of this file and typing gcc will NOT work. Trivial
amounts of source code are missing, some functions that require no BPF
knowledge may have been eliminated. What is left in is, in my opinion,
a decent framework for how you could go about implementing this sniffer.
If you don't know C, learn it. If you do and don't understand why something
is done a certain way, or how you could extend this type of code in a different
way, I will gladly discuss it with you and help you out.
There are things wrong with this implementation, if you rewrite it, you
probably want to add functionality that reads the filenames from the
control port and assigns correct filenames instead of assigning them
sequentially.
/* bpf.h - Header File */
/* this can usually be 0-3, or more depending on kernel configuration,
as long as no other BPF programs (ie tcpdump) are running, only 1 is
needed */
#define BPF_DEVICE "/dev/bpf0"
/* Size of buffer BPF uses to capture packets waiting for program to read. */
#define BPF_BUFFER 32768
/* the offsets from the bpf header that the IP header starts at */
#define LO_OFFSET 4
#define SLIP_OFFSET 16
#define ETH_OFFSET 14
int initialize_bpf(u_int *buf_size, char *intname);
/* packet.h - Packet Handling Header */
/* how many bytes to store per session per direction in a memory buffer
before dumping this out to disk. The higher the number, the less
disk i/o, so unless memory is a concern, make it a decent size.
This must be at least the size of the most data that will be received
in a single packet */
#define SESSION_BUFFER 128000
/* don't need the extra stuff in a sockaddr_in, so lets make our own struct */
struct sock_pair
{
u_long ip;
u_short port;
};
/* struct to hold the actual recorded data */
struct data_buf
{
int size;
u_int total;
char data[SESSION_BUFFER];
};
/* struct for each session being recorded, linked list (this should be hash) */
struct session_buf
{
struct sock_pair src, dst;
struct data_buf data;
FILE *logfile;
struct session_buf *next;
};
struct session_buf *is_active_session(struct sock_pair src,
struct sock_pair dst,
struct session_buf *sessions);
void flush_session(struct session_buf *current);
void close_all_sessions(struct session_buf *sessions);
struct session_buf *end_session(struct session_buf *sessions, int end_num);
struct session_buf *process_tcp(struct session_buf *sessions,
struct sock_pair src, struct sock_pair dst,
char *data, u_long size);
/* bpf.c - Berkeley Packet Filter Routines */
#include <a.bunch.of.system.files.here>
#include "bpf.h"
/* Open and properly configure BPF device */
int initialize_bpf(u_int *buf_size, char *intname)
{
int bpf_device;
int buf = BPF_BUFFER;
int true = 1;
struct ifreq interface;
struct timeval timeout;
if((bpf_device = open(BPF_DEVICE,O_RDWR,0))<0)
{
perror("Unable to Open BPF device");
return -1;
}
strcpy(interface.ifr_name,intname);
ioctl(bpf_device,BIOCSBLEN,&buf);
ioctl(bpf_device,BIOCGBLEN,buf_size);
timeout.tv_sec=1;
timeout.tv_usec=0;
ioctl(bpf_device,BIOCSRTIMEOUT,&timeout);
if(ioctl(bpf_device,BIOCSETIF,&interface)<0)
{
perror("Unable to set BPF to specified interface");
return -1;
}
#ifdef PROMISCUOUS
if(ioctl(bpf_device,BIOCPROMISC)<0)
{
perror("Unable to set promiscuous mode on interface");
return -1;
}
#endif
return bpf_device;
}
/* packet.c - Packet Handling Routines */
#include <a.shitload.of.files>
#include "packet.h"
/* check to see if a tcp connection is already being tracked */
struct session_buf *is_active_session(struct sock_pair src,
struct sock_pair dst,
struct session_buf **sessions)
{
struct session_buf *cur;
int i=0;
cur = sessions[hash(src,dst)];
while(cur)
{
if((cur->src.ip == src.ip) && (cur->src.port == src.port) &&
(cur->dst.ip == dst.ip) && (cur->dst.port == dst.port))
return cur;
if((cur->src.ip == dst.ip) && (cur->src.port == dst.port) &&
(cur->dst.ip == src.ip) && (cur->dst.port == src.port))
return cur;
cur = cur->next;
}
return 0;
}
/* empty a tcp connection's recorded buffer to disk and clear */
void flush_session(struct session_buf *current)
{
struct in_addr src_in, dst_in;
src_in.s_addr = current->src.ip;
dst_in.s_addr = current->dst.ip;
if(current->data.size)
fwrite(current->data.data,current->data.size,1,current->logfile);
fflush(current->logfile);
current->data.size = 0;
}
/* completely process a tcp packet */
void process_tcp(struct session_buf **sessions,
struct sock_pair src, struct sock_pair dst,
char *data, u_long size)
{
int i;
int back;
int rec_cnt;
struct session_buf *current;
struct data_buf *curdata;
static int fnum = 0;
char fname[40];
back = 0;
if(!(current = is_active_session(src,dst,sessions))) /* find where it goes */
{
/* create a new session, add to top of list */
fnum++;
current = malloc(sizeof(struct session_buf));
current->src = src;
current->dst = dst;
current->data.size = 0;
current->data.total = 0;
sprintf(fname,"snifftp-file.%d",fnum);
printf("FTP detected: %d.%d.%d.%d <--> %d.%d.%d.%d ----> %s\n",
PRINT_IP(src.ip),PRINT_IP(dst.ip),fname);
if((current->logfile = fopen(fname,"w+")) == NULL)
{
printf("Could not open file %s\n",fname);
}
}
curdata = &(current->data);
if(curdata->size + size > SESSION_BUFFER) /* if we need to flush buffer */
flush_session(current);
bcopy(data,(char *) curdata->data + curdata->size, size);
rec_cnt = size;
curdata->size += rec_cnt;
curdata->total += rec_cnt;
return sessions;
}
/* snifftp.c */
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <unistd.h>
#include <sys/ioctl.h>
#include <sys/types.h>
#include <sys/time.h>
#include <sys/socket.h>
#include <sys/uio.h>
#include <netinet/in.h>
#include <netinet/in_systm.h>
#include <netinet/ip.h>
#include <netinet/tcp.h>
#include <net/bpf.h>
#include <net/bpfdesc.h>
#include <net/if.h>
#include <fcntl.h>
#include "bpf.h"
#include "packet.h"
main(int argc, char *argv[])
{
int bpf_device;
char *buffer;
char *packet;
int bread;
int baread;
u_int buf_size;
u_int data_size;
int i;
int ip_offset;
struct bpf_hdr *bpf_header;
struct ip *ip_header;
struct tcphdr *tcp_header;
char *tcp_data;
struct in_addr addr;
struct sock_pair src, dst;
int tmpv;
struct session_buf *sessions = NULL;
char ch;
printf("Snifftp - A BPF based FTP packet sniffer - v0.50\n");
printf("by ReDragon\n");
printf("(press Q and enter to terminate (there will be a delay))\n");
if(argc<2)
{
printf("\nSyntax: %s [interface]\n",argv[0]);
exit(-1);
}
/* Set correct offset */
if(!strcmp(argv[1],"sl0"))
ip_offset = SLIP_OFFSET;
if(!strcmp(argv[1],"lo0"))
ip_offset = LO_OFFSET;
if(!strcmp(argv[1],"eth0"))
ip_offset = ETH_OFFSET;
if(!strcmp(argv[1],"ep0"))
ip_offset = ETH_OFFSET;
if((bpf_device = initialize_bpf(&buf_size,argv[1]))<0)
{
perror("Error Initializing BPF");
exit(-1);
}
buffer = malloc(buf_size);
printf("Now listening for FTP transfers on interface: %s\n",argv[1]);
for(;;)
{
if(get_char(&ch))
if(ch == 'Q' || ch == 'q')
{
printf("Terminating Sniffer - Closing All Open Files\n");
close_all_sessions(sessions);
printf("Program Terminating.\n");
exit(0);
}
bread = read(bpf_device,buffer,buf_size); /* read packets */
if(bread==-1)
perror("Error reading\n");
if(!bread)
{
/* no packet waiting */
}
if(bread>0)
{
packet = buffer;
while(bread>0) /* there may be several tcp/ip packets in one BPF packet */
{
bpf_header = (struct bpf_hdr *) packet; /* BPF header */
ip_header = (char *) (packet+(bpf_header->bh_hdrlen)+ip_offset);
if(bpf_header->bh_caplen>19) /* don't overflow */
{
switch(ip_header->ip_p)
{
case 6: /* TCP */
tcp_header = (struct tcp_hdr *) ((char *) ip_header + (ip_header->ip_hl * 4));
src.ip = ntohl(ip_header->ip_src.s_addr);
src.port = ntohs(tcp_header->th_sport);
dst.ip = ntohl(ip_header->ip_dst.s_addr);
dst.port = ntohs(tcp_header->th_dport);
tcp_data = ((char *) tcp_header) + (tcp_header->th_off * 4);
data_size = ntohs(ip_header->ip_len) - (ip_header->ip_hl*4) -
(tcp_header->th_off*4);
/* if it is a ftp-data packet and has data (ie not ack) */
if(data_size && (src.port == 20 || dst.port == 20))
{
sessions = process_tcp(sessions,src,dst,tcp_data,data_size);
}
break;
}
}
/* move to next packet captured from BPF buffer */
bread -= BPF_WORDALIGN(bpf_header->bh_hdrlen + bpf_header->bh_caplen);
packet = (char *)packet + BPF_WORDALIGN(bpf_header->bh_hdrlen + bpf_header->bh_caplen);
}
}
}
}
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
fr0m b0bZ dEskT0p.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
From cert-advisory-request@cert.org Fri Oct 20 19:22:42 CDT 1995
Article: 32 of comp.security.announce
Newsgroups: comp.security.announce
Path: polo.iquest.com!acara.snsnet.net!news5.crl.com!nntp.crl.com!howland.reston.ans.net!math.ohio-state.edu!cis.ohio-state.edu!nntp.sei.cmu.edu!news.sei.cmu.edu!cert-advisory
From: CERT Advisory <cert-advisory@cert.org>
Subject: CERT Advisory CA-95:13 - Alledged 'FEH' hacker gang attacks.
Message-ID: <1995Oct19.140427.10159@sei.cmu.edu>
Originator: cert-advisory@why.cert.org
Keywords: security CERT
Sender: netnews@sei.cmu.edu (Netnews)
Reply-To: cert-advisory-request@cert.org
Organization: CERT Coordination Center - 412-268-7090
Date: Thu, 19 Oct 1995 14:04:27 EDT
Approved: cert-advisory@cert.org
Lines: 363
=============================================================================
CA-95:13 CERT Advisory
October 19, 1995
Alledged 'FEH' hacker gang attacks.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The CERT Coordination Center has received reports of problems with the
syslog(3) subroutine. To the best of our current knowledge, the problem is
present in virtually all versions of the UNIX Operating System except the
following:
Sony's NEWS-OS 6.X
SunOS 5.5 (Solaris 2.5)
Linux with libc version 4.7.2, released May 1995
We have received reports indicating that the vulnerability is still unknown
and that the 'FEH' gang anonymous and at large.
This advisory does not provide a patch or program to solve this problem. We
are currently investigating the alledged FEH hacker gang. BE on the look out
for any unusual appearances.
As we receive additional information relating to this advisory, we will
place it in
ftp://info.cert.org/pub/cert_advisories/CA-95:14.README
We encourage you to check our README files regularly for updates on advisories
that relate to your site.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I. Description
Currently, there is nothing known about how this is going about. The
only evidence we have is that a file named '.haXed.By.FEH@#!$%' is
found under /root. No hole or penetration device has been found, and
unusual system uses or logins noted.
II. Impact
The FEH gang is currently able to infiltrate any machine and do what
ever they want, without any detection. The method is still under
investigation, and we believe they may have a powerful, new, and
unreleased bug or program. If it gets out, with the ability it seems
to have, systems may become very insecure.
III. Solution
We recommend that you do all of A, B, and C.
A. Install some type of connection watcher. LOG everything.
Until we get more information, this is the best advice we can give.
You may want to cut off anonymous access to your system, and keep a
close watch on registered users. Have all users called and discuss the
problem with them. Change passwords and do the normal corrections.
If at all possible, have someone actively watching the network or
machines at all hours. Hackers typically attack at night, but they may
not be in your nighttime zone.
B. Alert us immediately.
The more information and statistics we gather, the more we can do about
this problem. All information sent to us will also be forwarded to the
FBI, which is working on this case. As soon as we newer updates, we
will contact you about repairs and patches.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The CERT Coordination Center staff thanks Eric Allman and Wolfgang Ley for
their involvement in the development of this advisory, and thanks Karl
Strickland and Neil Woods for reporting the vulnerability.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you believe that your system has been compromised, contact the CERT
Coordination Center or your representative in the Forum of Incident
Response and Security Teams (FIRST).
If you wish to send sensitive incident or vulnerability information to
CERT staff by electronic mail, we strongly advise that the email be
encrypted. The CERT Coordination Center can support a shared DES key, PGP
(public key available via anonymous FTP on info.cert.org), or PEM (contact
CERT staff for details).
Internet email: cert@cert.org
Telephone: +1 412-268-7090 (24-hour hotline)
CERT personnel answer 8:30 a.m.-5:00 p.m. EST(GMT-5)/EDT(GMT-4),
and are on call for emergencies during other hours.
Fax: +1 412-268-6989
Postal address: CERT Coordination Center
Software Engineering Institute
Carnegie Mellon University
Pittsburgh, PA 15213-3890
USA
CERT advisories and bulletins are posted on the USENET newsgroup
comp.security.announce. If you would like to have future advisories and
bulletins mailed to you or to a mail exploder at your site, please send mail
to cert-advisory-request@cert.org.
Past CERT publications, information about FIRST representatives, and other
information related to computer security are available for anonymous
FTP from info.cert.org.
Copyright 1995 Carnegie Mellon University
This material may be reproduced and distributed without permission provided it
is used for noncommercial purposes and the copyright statement is included.
CERT is a service mark of Carnegie Mellon University.
#include "eleetness.h"
woop, woop... it's time for the public unveiling of da latest
CERT ADVISORY! Yes, my friends, FEH has obtained a
pre-release (0-dAy*&!@#*&#) copy of CERT's warning about what
they have dubbed "tHe gNu HaQ tEkNiQuE".
As you can see, CERT is moving much closer to full disclosure...
-----CUT HERE FOR DA CERT WAREZ!@!&-----CUT HERE FOR DA CERT WAREZ!@!&-----
=============================================================================
CA-95:12 CERT Advisory
October 31, 1995
gnu-hack-teknique Vulnerability
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A large portion of the technical content of this
advisory was provided by people with much more skill
than us, so we left out their names in order to
make ourselves look really knowledgable.
Recently, our super-secure machine cert.org was hacked by an evil
malicious hacker-type. He scared us, cuz we saw the movie "Hackers" and
we know that these guys are dangerous. So, after consulting with
officials from Sun, LERT, our local Radio Shack, IBM Customer Support,
alt.2600, AOL, Prodigy, CIS, our moms, our priests, those guys with the
flowers at the airport, and Little Caesars; we turned off the computer,
and he went away. So we went around pretending we were hackers and
joining #hack to find out how they did this. We didn't get very far, but
we can make really good Deth Vegetables (tm) now. Luckily, after we
figured out how to use ls again, we got some people to figure out how to
use those packet log things we make (too many numbers for us to
understand) in the root directory. After viewing the shocking contents
of this file, we have recreated _every keystoke the hacker made_.
We contemplated releasing this advisory, when we saw how destructive
this was. After all, we could be aiding in a hacker revolution
the likes of which have not been seen since "Evil Hacking Tool: Satan"
was released. (And we all know how big that was. Dateline
NBC said it was, so it had to have been. We don't know. We were
watching OJ.) But, we decided that we should let everyone know how much
danger they are in. So, without further ado, the reconstructed hacking
session, commented by our security experts:
cert:~# ls -la /etc |more (Obviously the hacker is a skilled unix user)
cert:~# cat >gnuhakteknique (We have no idea what this line does.)
(Perhaps it was meant to throw us off his)
(trail. Naughty Hacker.)
cert:~# chmod u+x gnuhakteknique (Another baffling line... )
cert:~# gnuhakteknique 8lgm.org (OH GNO!@*&!^@&)
8lgm:~# whoami (The hacker had a case of amnesia... )
8lgm:~# krad (Upon regaining his memory, he realizes)
(he is root, and speaks his joy)
(in hacker-ese)
At this point, we turned off the computer, thus succesfully thwarting the
hacker with our technical skills.
Well, there it is. A patch is obvious. (Hint: We had someone make us a
cron job that looks for files called 'gnuhakteknique' and reboots if it
sees them. Duh.)
==========================================================================
-----END CERT WAREZ^!#%-----END CERT WAREZ^!#%-----END CERT WAREZ^!#%-----
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
UrBan c0w tiPPinG
by An0n0m0uS
------------
Country boys can participate in this activity as well. Its fun
for all ages.
Supplies
--------
1 can quick dry gloss enamel spray paint (white)
1 can quick dry gloss enamel spray paint (black)
1 large or strong person
(yes, we know that large is easy to come by in the computer world,
while strong tends to be a rarity).
No, were not going to convert our race. Were going to make
our cow.
Go out scoping. You are looking for a large green double-door
phone box. They are about 4' high by about 3' wide and 1 1/2
foot deep. They should only have doors on one side. No 216C
needed for this trip.
Spray paint the entire box white. Come back one hour later, and
paint large black spots. No we are not emulating a large computer
manufacture. We are preparing our cow.
Be careful not to leave fingerprints. You need to come back
one hour later. Hopefully the paint wil be dry. Won't ma bell
be impressed at their cow. Get ready. Get set. Get the heafty(ist)
person to run up against it and throw all of their weight into it.
KAAAAAPOW. UGH. okay. Hopefully the box moved about 6" during the
impact. Generally they are on a concrete slab bolted. The bolts
will pull loose. Keep knocking it from both sides. It will move more
and more each hit. Eventually comes the happy moment. The grand
taco. The final strain. Shove it hard. KERRRRUNCH. SQeeeeeeeekBAM.
Your 400 pound bitch is now tipped!
(bell employees laugh their ass off
when they do a call and find the
doors on the cow are face down)
Fatality move
-------------
If you want the cow, use a hacksaw to cut the trunks. They will
spark during the cut (so we are told). The cows weigh like 400
pounds. A crew of people can easily move it. Note this is generally
illegal. Expect to find 7 bell trucks and a police car or two the
next day. The ghetto won't have phone service for a day or two.
(so we are told again.)
A FINAL SHOUT OUT TO ALL OF THE SouthWestern Bell COW RE-ERRECTORS!
(telco employees that have to fix all of the tipped boxes)
Song
----
Theres a new cow tip that sweeping the nation
It envolves phone boxes and is causing devistation
Cutting 300 pairs with 10 sweeps of the saw
ma bell isnt lauging, dropped is their jaw
(based on some exodus song)
AscII pic:
----------
_____________
/ / /:
.--.---------./ :
.--: | : /
_______:.-:__|_________:/___
/ /
/_______ /
/ /
/______ / (sidewalk)
/ /
/_______ /
/ /
So.... 40 columnish..
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
# include <your.mothers>
revision number:
1.0- original
1.1- mod'd 10/20 by t3
1.2 mod'd 10/20 by hort
1.3- mod'd 10/22 by SOME ELITE PERSON
1.4- mod'd 10/24 by t3
1.5 mod'd 10/25 by kevin mitnick
1.6- mod'd by the CRS (CapsLock Reformation Society)
1.7- mod'd by Gheap (but he's too elite)
Feel free to modify and shit but I started it, you fuck.
________________
#hack faq by t3
----------------
(C) Copyright 1995 by T3, International.
o First off, fuck irc. It's full of pithy fools that trade kiddie-porn and
warez.
o Second off, fuck you.
o Thirdly, #hack is probably one of the best channels on irc and it still
sucks shit.
RULES OF #HACK
--------------
1. Don't ask questions
2. Don't ask for ops
3. Don't ask me anything ever.
4. Don't ask if ][ceman is a nark.
5. Don't ask Casret to give you pussy.
6. Don't ask how to unshadow a passwd file.
7. Don't ask how to change permissions.
8. Don't ask how to create a split server.
9. Don't ask how to fakemail
10. Don't ask when the new Phrack is coming out.
11. Don't ask if Phiber Optik is around.
12. Don't msg people you don't know
13. Don't ctcp flood me because I tell you to fuck off
14. Same goes for y
15. Kicking and banning are done because you do dumb shit and/or things
you could get busted for saying.
16. #hack is monitored.
17. If you don't believe 16, ask the ncsa. They have a pay service with
logs of #hack.
18. If you don't believe 17, ask Gentry. But don't tell him I said that.
19. Don't get drunk and /join #hack
20. #hack chicks hate you, don't fuck with them you piece of shit.
21. It's true, nobody ever talks about anything illegal ever on #hack.
22. Kemo is the #hack fag. Do not bother him.
23. #hack chicks are more trouble than they're worth.
24. Rule #24- About 5% of #hack chicks can unshadow a passwd file (see #6)
25. #hack is not #warezX- where X is a number from 1 to infinity.
26. If you type /exec -o yes then you are elite
27. Idle time is elite
28. Assume you know half as much as everyone else.
29. Taking a /kick or a /ban seriously is pathetic.
30.
-----------------------------
II- Standard daily #hack logs (feel free to add your own at the end..)
-----------------------------
<y> du0d fuck you)(!*
<t3> shut up
*** Warezpup (warez.the.warez@ix.netcom.com) has joined channel #hack
<oof> hmm
*** Warezpup has been kicked off of channel #hack by y (fuck you du0d(*!)
<casret> t3 give me pussy
<t3> no
<t3> oh okay..
<t3> give me clam chowder
<y> zenmoo rocks(@($#*
/whois ][ceman
*** ][ceman is iceman@access.mbnet.mb.ca (big badass narc)
*** on channels: #Hack #peace #bah @#zone @#hack2 @#ca-ops
*** on irc via server portal.mbnet.mb.ca ([cythera.unb.ca] Canadian Second
+Level HUB Server)
*** ][ceman Is an IRC Operator and has been idling for 6 months.
<el|t3> anyone know where I can split a server or hack the internet?
<oof> hmm
*** el|t3 has been kicked off of channel #hack by y (du0d shut the fuck up)
*** Mode change "+imnstk fuckyallmotherfuckers" on channel #Hack by b_
<casret> t3 you still owe me pussy
<t3> bleh
<par> the FBI is buggin my house
*** Mode change "+ooo casret casret casret" by t3
<ReDragon> I AM SO DRUNKZR I CNA"T WRITE A
<t3> redragon want conf info?
<eggplant> YOU ARE A FAGGOT WITH ONE NIPPLE T3.
*gita* god i want to go down on your cock and spit on it; suck it up and
spread my legs for you. You make me so wet. Come to Boston during xmas
please!
<y> du0d t3 raytrace me shit(((&#$
<oof> hrm
<ReDragon> YESZ T GIVE ME CONF INFOS
/exec -o fakeconf
> 18004037659 PIN 211144
<t3> 18004037659 PIN 211144
<loq> i am nice to #hack chix so that people can make up rumours about me
sleeping with them so i can be elite
<gheap> i haq for sex
*** Signoff: Redragon (puking)
<par> i'm afraid i might get killed.
<dip> give me conf info
*Sinner* I'm going to be running a t1 cable to my laptop.
<juliet> someone talk to me. i'm alone and cold.
/msg juliet y will warm you up
--> *juliet* y will warm you up
<warezpup2> I NEED VIRGIN CC'S NOW! /MSG ME FOR TRADE!
<el33t-1> Anyone know where I can get k0de-th3if 12.0beta alpha 9 win 95
+version?
*** Win95girl (bib00bs@ss59.ssnet.com) has joined channel #hack
*** Win95girl has been kicked off of channel #hack by par (help me aliens
have put chips in my head!(&#)
<MissX> Hi t3 and y (=
<eggplant> NarcBitch.
<oof> hrm
<Gentry> t3 you are such a sick motherfucker.
<y> hey missx marry me
<y> .msg t3 SHE LOVES ME DU0D#*(@
<y> SHIT@(#*
<t3> women suck shit
<gweeds> i have a green demon asshole. werd.
---------------------------------
IIa- Your average #hack questions
---------------------------------
<bianca7> hey anyone here willling to trade aol accounts for cc#'s?
<TheMaster> this could be a *Really* Stupid question, but im trying to get
password file here at the U of A, and ive tryed in all the places
where text files say to look, and so far all ive been able to find
is /etc/passwd. that may look to be the corredt thing..
<Armitage> hello?
<dArKwAr> okay stupid Q time...is there a way to scan for a certain Ip on
irc?
<Infinity> Lets talk hack
<Armitage> r we moderated?
<wax> how do you change your domain in irc?
<coup> how do you flood??
<LarkB> I am a Lamer, but i have to get a split to get someone killed. Can any
hacker help me?
<ad-rock> what is a bluebox?
<DK> ansi art is leet:)
<jmecca> does ne1 got a netcom shell accnt to trade
<oreooo> dude can any one help me
<oreooo> i am in such a jam right now ill trade huge for a cc
<oreooo> i need one in the next 10 mins to buy world series tickets
<oreooo> ill trade huge!!!!!
<ap> any1 have FLASH.C ???
<Blake> does anyone know where to get AOHELL??????? (not a joke)
<Lickher> Where can you get Windows 95???
<TaP> anyone know where I can get full free shell service???
<Tadpole> hello all you hacker out there
<Vicc> How do I get my IP address??
<RepVip> wow, you guys real hackers?
<_Orca_> Does anybody here have the crack for WARCRAFT2 where you could
save the game? /msg me please!!
<Encryptor> what system split?
<oDSi> can anyoen here get the password file to an "ultrix" system without
having an account there.. ?
----------------------------------------
III- Your average #hack chick
----------------------------------------
/leave #desperate
/msg cindy hi hon *kiss*. I'm going to try to find some guys in #hack. I
hear t3 and y hang out in there!
===========
/join #hack <-- mistake #1
===========
*** Topic for #hack: Lame-O-Meter: [EXTRALAME!] 10/9
*** Topic for #hack set by j00bakka on Tue Oct 24 02:11:34 1995
*** Users on #hack: t3 kyurius alfi5 @j00bakka mark0 Deeply @Ice-9 twl micron
Virt phydeaux b_ ST-3 RosieRiv @Juliet @casret gweeds @_entropy @ReDragon
@loki girl|e
^^^^^^ #hack chick in training.
> hi I'm new! my measurements are (36-24-36) and I am 6 foot two and I'm a
model for the Victoria's Secret catalog. Is anyone interested?
<y> hi girl|e!*@#*@
*** Y has changed the topic of #hack to Y loves girl|e!&(@#^
<t3> uh y you are a whore
<XGuRl|^~__> Hi girl|ie let's talk!*@#$
o Guys on #hack get opped regularly about 6 months after they join.
Girls get opped about 3 minutes after.
*** Mode change "+o girl|e" on channel #hack by y
*** Mode change "+o girl|e" on channel #hack by casret
*** Mode change "+o girl|e" on channel #hack by hosaka
*** girl|e has been kicked off of chanel #hack by t3 (cunt)
*** y has changed the topic on channel #hack to THE Y-LOVE CONNECTION:
914(234-6874/2849768) Free for 5 minutes!
<freeze> dude y that's so fucked up.
*** girl|e (girlie@daha-14.ipt.aol.com) has joined channel #hack
> please accept me! I need to be accepted!
o Eventually the girl gets known as the "#hack whore" or the "91% nation"
which implies that she's been laid by y. Whom incidentally has fucked
91% of all #hack chicks. Eventually the #hack chick will graduate to
2600 meetings in her area and will eventually meet Emmanuel. For
obscured reasons women feel safe around him.
o The more time you spent on #hack as a chick, the more time you hate men.
o #hack chicks have a tendency to allude to having knowledge of things they
do not possess.
IE: <|radgurl|> hi i can hack sticks.mil.navy
usual response: <max-q> shut the fuck up you fucking cp/m cunt
*** |radgurl| has been kicked off of channel #hack by max-q (you couldn't
hack a 3b1)
o #hack women are usually highly naive and manipulative.
*Missx* Hi t3. why don't you talk to me anymore?
-> *Missx* because you are a piece of shit. I told you that 5 million times.
or
*y* hi honey. i'll give you peanut butter if you suck my cock.
-> *y* okay.
o #hack women are usually not women at all. I mean this mostly
figuratively. Until you've seen a jpeg of them, DON'T MEET THEM. Make
sure you get the image from a reliable source.
o According to elite #hack statistics (compiled by t3, inc. (c) 1995),
only 46% of #hack women suck dick. Out of that 46% only 11% swallow.
And out of that 11% only 5% don't puke afterwards.
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
____ K0De DiSCl41m3r : IF j00 g3t
(O)(O) - MY SP1D3r SENSe IS T1NGLINg! bUsT3d FoR UzIN OuR k0d3z
|c | d3n j00 Ar3 a LhaMeR.
----
Qu0TeZ Ov TH3 EL1te:
"I LuV HAcK1n WaReZ" - SpAc3 Gh0sT 314
"I LuV HACk1n COmPuT3rs ANd Ph0neS" - Sp1d3rmAn
1 -follow-this-arrow-2-the-topic!> PhrEAkin With A MoDeM
2 -oh-boy-who-gnoz-what-it-will-b> HaCkiN a BbS
1. PHREAKIN WITH A MODEM
(hehehe here is a session me and space ghost cut and pasted.. hehehe)
ATDT0
(the lady picks up and says "hello hello???)
(then we hung up on her.. hehehe)
(this time when the lady picked up i got on and started whistlin.. hehehe)
ATDT0
("hello hello???")
(whistling into the phone)
2. HACKIN A BBS
Ok this is hard and you gotta make a program first to run it. You need MS-DOS
version 6.0 or higher (it might work on other versions too.. who cares..hehe)
also get a program called BAT2COM.EXE it's kinda hard to find, sucks to be u!
Now log into some gay bbs place and upload the file to the sysop and say it's
a really AWSOME loader for the bbs (hehehe just bullshit him.. hehehe) so now
he's gonna run it.. hehehe... oh yeah the program should look like this.
10 START
20 RAM "LEGEND OF ZELDA 8!"
30 ERASE C
40 RAM " HAHAHAH FOOLED YOU! "
50 GO TO 10
This should be saved as VIRUS.BAT then go to the DOS prompt and type:
C:\WINDOWS\BAT2COM.EXE
It will make virus.bat into a com file. so now rename it ZELDA8.COM hehehe.
Type:
C:\WINDOWS\EXIT
Go back to the File thing and move the icon for virus.bat to virus.com and
execute it on that guy's system.. hehehe!
GREETZ TO: GATSBY, MARK TABAS, PHANTOM PHREAKER, OLD BUZZARD,
DRUNKFUX, AND KEVIN MITNICK.
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
How T0 4n4lly Ph1st Pr0p3rly - (f0r th3 b3n3f1t 0ph 4ll hum4nk1nd)
bY: gWAr & xgirl
For feedback please connect to:
(http://www.netaxs.com/~professr/xgirl.html)
Fondly dedicated to: max-q, Senator Exon, and all the sick demented GWAR fans
out there.
Due to all the hoopla and talk on #hack about fisting this and fisting that
and who's fist was where and just how much shit you can get between your
fingers whilst fisting, we have decided to do the #hack community a great
service by elucidating the proper procedures and techniques for anal fisting.
(* Note: These may also be applied to other orifices and/or self-made holes
and chasms. *)
Disclaimer:
We hereby absolve ourselves from any responsibility for anything you do
with this information. This includes damage to yourself or others, as well
as pets and endangered species. In the wrong hands this information could
be very dangerous to the continued existance of the current World Order.
This information is not to be exported from the United States without the
express written consent of the U.S. Customs Control committee. In the
right hands, with proper usage and obeyance of all safety precautions, it
can bring you a lifetime of fun and sexual gratification, as well as plenty
of fertilizer. We are not responsible if you lose your
boyfriend/girlfriend from trying this, or if your cat runs away. Parents
do not mail us complaining that this is sickening and disgusting and that
we should be shot, or we will give a copy to your spouse and tell him/her
that you have a secret obsession for it.
The first and most important component of the fisting process is the
lubrication. Without proper lubrication the entire process can be quite
painful (* Note: If you are planning on torturing someone, skip this step. *)
Following is a list of acceptable substances and secretions for lubrication:
1. Good old fashioned saliva: This is by far the most readily available
one. However, things in great quantities
that are easily available are generally
pretty crappy, and spit is no exception.
2. K-Y Jelly: K-Y's specific purpose is to be used as a lube, and therefor
it is highly effective. In addition, it is water-based (as
opposed to oil-based) and will not deteriorate any prophelactic
devices you may be using. It's only obvious drawback is that
it does not taste very good. Do not be fooled by its name. It
does NOT taste like a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich.
(This is the official lubrication of FEH, fully endorsed and
supported by all its members.)
3. Vasoline: Vasoline sounds vaguely like gasoline, and it's just about every
bit as nasty. But it is slimy, and that's what counts. It
is petroleum based, so don't eat it or use it with a condom.
(Unless you like your condoms like your cheese, Swiss style.)
4. Water: Don't even try it. Water is really elite but it disappears too
quick. Makes a good post-fisting aperatif.
5. Semen: Only if you have a storage vault of it somewhere or plenty of
people around to supply it. Doesn't work very well, but it tastes
oh-so-good. Can be used as a snack between shifts, and it does a
good job of slicking your hair back when you leave your afro-sheen
at home.
If you don't happen to have any of these handy, the following are acceptable
substitutes: vegetable oil, slightly softened butter or margarine, and soap
and hand/face lotions (not Clearasil though.)
If you are really desperate you might want to try these, but otherwise it
would be most intelligent of you to stay away from the following: honey
(sweet but too sticky), WD-40 (something about the label saying not meant
for internal use?), bathroom cleaners (unless you have a fetish for that
army of bubbles and brushes and like being squeeky clean and a bit foamy),
deodorant, popourri sprays, Jolt, liquid LSD (hippies need not heed this
warning), snot and boogers, earwax, the gooky stuff in your car engine,
last night's chemistry assignment, or blood from your latest sacrifice to
cDc.
Another thing that you should be thinking about beforehand - unless you want
to make a real big mess and smell up the entire place, it would be a good idea
that you take a nice big shit beforehand, and try to squeeze everything out you
possibly can. Sometimes it is pretty cool when you find little surprises
waiting for you inside, but other times they get in the way and hinder your
progress. A good pre-fisting ritual would be to take a nice long shit then hop
in the shower and wash your asshole thoroughly. It will leave you nice and
clean and the act of washing yourself will get you a bit aroused as well.
Unless you have experienced this process before, the next part will require a
little bit of imagination on your part. As I'm sure you can understand, most
people's assholes (prior to being fisted) are pretty small. The biggest things
that come out on a regular basis aren't very big (unless you are a drug
trafficker and swallow huge bags and containers full of pharmacuticals), and
even a huge shit doesn't do much to stretch it out. So, unless you *want* to
make this process quite painful to the subject and potentially lethal to
yourself (getting your hand out from an asshole after having it broken because
the victim tensed up and squeezed their sphinctor muscles isn't terribly easy),
you'll want to take this all very slow and use alot of lubrication.
Your partner's position is also crucial. We suggest that the fist-er squats
behind while the fist-ee is either on hands and knees or lying on their
stomach with a pillow underneath the groin area to prop them up with.
Start off by making your hand as slender as possible. This can be achieved by
curling your thumb around to meet your pinky finger. Now coat your hand with
copious amounts of any of the aforementioned acceptable lubricants. Don't
forget to rub some of that lube onto your partner's asshole, too. Once it's
good and slimed up, start by gently pushing your hand in, fingertips first
(duh like you'd try to stick your feet in first), keeping it as compact as
possible. You might meet some resistance when your hand is submurged to the
third knuckle (or maybe a little earlier depending on whether the subject took
a shit beforehand.) From here you can take one of two paths: if you like
screams and blood and chunks of fecal matter and the erotic sounds of ripping
flesh, then by all means ram the fucker the rest of the way in, otherwise take
it slow and gently ease your way in. You may have to pull it in and out a bit
to get the lube spread effectively, and to sort of stretch the muscles out,
but it is not really a good idea to take too terribly long - anal pleasure
tends to wear out with overuse.
At this point, you make your first actual fist. Recall that your hand is
currently inside of your partner's asshole, up to about your wrist (in their
large intestine pretty much.) O.K., now make your hand into a fist and begin
to pull it out. If you have followed the proper lubrication procedures, there
shouldn't be too many screams of pain and utter revulsion at this point. The
process is then repeated and continues as follows: enter with your hand
tapered to a point, make a fist inside, and exit. If at all possible, this
is a great time to otherwise pleasure your partner, be it by oral, manual or
visual stimulation. However, not all of us can pat our heads and rub our
tummies at the same time.
Continue until one of the following things happens: your partner dies, kills
you, cuts off your hand, begs for mercy, squirts a big fat blob of diarhhea
all over you, remarks that this reminds them of their stint in the state
penetentiary, begins to sob, or has an orgasm (incidentally, some of these
are not mutually exclusive.) When you are finished, stop (isn't that simply
ingenius?).
Congratulations! You have just anally fisted someone, or been anally fisted
yourself. Lots of things can happen now: you could lose your spouse to a
divorce on grounds of perverseness, make alot of money doing it to the rest
of the inmates, totally throw up all over the place when you realize how much
shit is crusted on your hand (especially if you are hairy), have to listen to
your partner or yourself complain for the rest of the night about how much
they feel like they have to take a shit, get arrested for beastiality (sheep
don't like this very much), realize your arm is broke because the angles are
all wacked trying to do it to yourself because you have no friends, or be the
talk of the town and have people beating down your door for demos.
This has been a gWAr/xgirl production, in association with FEH and that big
computer called the internet that runs the globally accessable interactive
multi-media digital information super cyber highway. w00p derz mah butt.
To get in touch with the authors, stick your hand down your pants and touch us!
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
As I closed my eyes the journey began
the light fell away like the beads of sand
through the hourglass as the time slipped fast
quickly; so quickly I raced through the past
memories shooting continually past
and as I approached the present ahead
I soon didnt care if indeed I was dead
for there I stood under a showering white light
and realized that my life never had serious plight
that all along I had the right
and as I looked up into the eyes
I slowy began to realize
the god I so longed for and searched
had been with me; always; on this earth
there was no spritual dearth
his face was that of mine
it had been that face all the time
I smiled and started away
knowing that my knowledge paved the way
knowing that tommorrow was indeed a new day
(c)1995 Chris Fisher
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
------------------------------------------------------------------
PuMPK0n r3view BY: Y-(I g0t superkallifragiliz techniquez)-WINd0zE
------------------------------------------------------------------
HERe Iz MY REview UF PumpKON DA most NArly Kon I have EveR
Been TOo!@#!#
TH3re are a Few THingz That Sepeate thiz Con From evErY
other kon I have been Too. The most Striking one Was: "Where
Were DA people?" I Sat ALone In the lobBY Of THe HotEL in
DownTOwn AtlanTa for ALmost 12 HourZ before ANyone SHowed up!
The firzt Guy THere WAs DrunkFux I do BelIEVe aLthOUgh HE
Never Said ANythinG but HE drANK a LOT anD smelled. Me N
DrunkFUX ShaREd StORIEs OF VaRIOUs IRC WOMen We HaD BotH SeXed
uP AND also StoRies OF Our LOV Fer GaiL THaxerY... we HAd SUm
GOOd TIMes.
AftER About two HOURZ Of TaLKINg ABOUT VIsUAL BASix
ONe Dot DOuble 00hh me N DrunkFux decided We WOuld go Bax TO
tExAS And Hang OUt WIth EriK bl00daXE BettER known AS
CHrist0opher er1k g0gginz. We Went d0wn to de airport wh3r3 I
wuz fr1zked juzt fer being black. FUXORIN RACISRTS!@#!@# so th3n
we fl3w to texas and went to chr1z's h0uze where t1m3 st00d
still.
---w0000zh---
"Hi guys!@# Can I be your friend?!@# I have some
cocaine" er1k chim3d as we opened hiz d00rz. Supreezing an
urge I left hiz phon3z and 3l3ctr1xty on. Drunkfux punchEd
krizz in da face and we shar3d hiz k0k3. Aft3r ab0ut 6 ouncEz
each WE wuz feeling pREtty Happy So we went and b0rr0wd
chriz's gr3mlin. W3 wuz gonna R00l teXAs DA n1ght!@#
We kn0cked over a couple liqur st0r3z and alth0ugh my
luv fer drunkfux at an all t1me high I sh0t im in da leg and
shoved him out da gremlin. IT WUZ BABE CRUISIN TIME!!! wh0rzE!@#
Irc baBeZ!@# I wUz K-k00l and ON da Pr0wl!@#!@# Me N Da
GRemlin Headed f0r NeUabe y0rk So I couLd Pick uP My IRC women
missx and WINTEr r0ze... in P00laski TennEssE I picked UP My
PArTNerZ In cR1me "X" and "t3" We HAd all d0ne irc w0men
bef0re so I fig0rred we k0uld all share aga1n!@#!@#!#
ONCe In NEw York We HEad3d TO Get OUr WOMen When X
Decided IT w0uld be Sp1ffy if we cr00zed out t0 l0ng island to
beat the sh1t 0ut of EmmanUel g0ldstEEN. Cru00zin through da
TrEES and CurVEyr roaDZ We Wuz s00n At the DelaPidATed MAnzion
That Emman000l kalled h0me. X pull3d out hiz nine and I got a
putter, it wuz clubb1n time and th1z tim3 we n33ded no c0ndomz.
Breakin In Da d00r t3 Yelled "I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT AND ITZ NAME
IZ DA NINJA (btw my old handle from when I was a geek)!" X
PlugGED emman00l'z kat with 5 sh0tz and I puttED it up Da
StairCAse. ThERe w00ld be mUch bl00d spilt THiz NiGHT!
----w000zh---
Emman00l wuz dead.
Th3 detailz were g0ry letz juzt say It wuz a g00d day
for the HacKErz of DA w0rld!@ n0w We w00ld be liberat3d from
red boxed forever m0re!@# The DAy of SalVation Wuz at HAnd...
--w000000zh----
Bax on DA road We HAd h00rd Dat Pumpk0n wuz really in
Chik0go. s0 filling da gr3mlin up wif gas from erik'z credit
kradz we head3d for b0ston. We Had n0 id3a where chicag0 wuz
and we n33ded a navigat0r. St0ppin in b0ston we picked Up thiz
guy naMed farn0n. He kept Tuching Himself. We kicked him out
da car and picked up a two bit h00ker and Thatz when it hit uz
hey Iznt pumpkon alwayz In philly?@!#
Quickly realizing what a shitty state Pennsylvania is
we decided there was no way in hell we were going to waste a
weekend hanging with a bunch of fucking idiotic geeks. So t3, X
and I drove back to New York where we got drunk and fucked loose
women at bars and laughed at the pathetic idiots who spent
time and money at a "hacker" convention to make themselves
part of the scene.
Some people never learn.
---------
THE END
---------
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
PUMPCON 1995
by Hotrod
"What? Somebody's gonna die at PumpCon?
Well I'm already dead! So there!"
--Curious George, said while asleep after that first friday night of
Pumpcon..
_________________________________________________________________
After classes friday morning, it was off to Philadelphia, for what
would surely be a very interesting weekend. A subway ride to Logan
Airport and two short airplane flights later, I was greeted at
Philadelphia International Airport by several people I would get to
know quite well over the next several days; XGirl, my complete
antithesis who I happen to completely adore, her beau Gwar, who has
terrible taste in music (at least he likes Skynyrd) and should never
ever be allowed to drive an automobile, Curious George, who may very
well be the coolest straightedge on earth, and Gothick, who was just
plain funky. For those of you in the Boston scene, Gothick is a dead
ringer for Silicosis. I mean, separated at birth.
XGirl and Gwar were nice enough to let me stay at thier/her dorm, so I
wouldn't have to deal with hotel bills on top of airfare. For that,
they get permanent k-rad elite status.
That night was mostly spent settling in, and saying hi to old
acquaintences. Some nice fellow in Room 106 was nice enough to give me
a beer (whoever you were, thanks.) Sometime that night we had to take
Gothick home, and I offered to walk the "5 blocks" through what I
thought was a little rain with a few other folks to his place. 5
blocks came to seem like 5 miles, and the rain may have been the worst
I've ever seen in my life. My coat still is not dry. Not to mention
the fact that Philadephia may have the worlds worst drainage system...
the streets were flooded with about an inch of rainwater..
We returned, and headed to XGirls room, where the nights festivities
included a lack of sleep due to XGurlies roomate's boyfriend's
apparant sense of humor (she laughed loudly at everything he said for
about 4 hours, perhaps he should have his own HBO special), and
Curious George mumbling funny things in his sleep (see above). For the
record, I was not in the bathroom for four hours. I held a mean piss
for about 4 hours, because I didn't know if XG0rl's roomate knew I was
there, and I didn't want to scare her. When she was finally
(apparantly) asleep, I headed to the bathroom and let fly what may
have been the longest piss of my life. We're talking measured in
minutes. I had to shit too. So I was in there for about 10 minutes. CG
the next day accused me of having spent 4 hours in the bathroom.
ANYHOW..
Saturday was the bulk of the Con.. A quick noontime breakfast/lunch at
IHOP, and we were back in the Convention room at the Best Western. The
talks were Emcee'd by Ophie. The first speaker (unless we missed one)
was Mudge, who gave a thorough and entertaining talk on the
vulnerabilities of S/Key and similar security measures. I believe
ReDragon was up next, who kept the lame image of FEH intact. After
a short break, grayArea introduced BernieS...
BernieS went on (and on, and on, and on...) with a talk about his
ordeal leading up to and following his arrest for what basically
amounted to possesion of 6.5 mHz crystals. Although long, the talk was
entertaining, and quite informative. BernieS seemed to be a pretty
normal, down to earth, guy. Not at all the punk teen lamer I had been
expecting.
Emmanuel gave out copies of the newest 2600, and everybody pretty much
just hung out in waiting for the party that night. Emmanuel had to
leave early, unfortunately, upon hearing that his dog had been hit by
a car up in New York.
The party simply rocked. Cool people. Alcohol. Good time. I think the
indisputable highlight of the night was Gweeds' popping of a certain
latex sheep (ya gotta be more gentle next time, gweed0... or maybe
just a little more KY...) Tfish, in a drunken stupor, named 2 new
people members of the Cult of the Dead Cow Ninja Strike Force (I
cannot name them, to do so would be to endanger my life.) Also met
TheeJoker, who rocked alot. Anybody who blows fire rocks alot, though.
Also met Corp, who r0x simply because he is an aficionado of The
Prisoner, the coolest show ever to be broadcast.
I've got pictures with all the people who r00l, a few are up now, but
more will be coming. Xgirl, Gwar, CG, TheeJoker, AliceD, and Ophie,
all people who I've never met before, were s00perd00per elite and made
the trip worthwhile. Sorry if I've left you out, you know I still love
you.
By the way, if anyone asks, Veggie is autistic.
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
dave@VIVARIN.RES.CMU.EDU
A Bedtime Story
or
How We Made A Really Lame Person Look Really Lame By Using Lame Holes
by LANsharc (PCLO)
All the names in this story have been changed, except for Alex Yuriev, who
is really named Alex Yuriev, and really goes to Temple U. and works in
the CIS department (god knows why), and I lost his address and PGP key or
else I would be posting that too.
Once upon a time, there was a lamer named Alex Yuriev. Alex came to this
country from Russia, apparently after annoying the shit out of everyone
there. But here was no ordinary annoying horny geek, this was the type
of guy who thought that not bathing for weeks and wearing v-neck sweaters
tucked into baggy cords made him just irresistible to women.
Alex liked to talk about network security when he wasn't busy
masturbating or picking his nose and eating it. In fact, he fancied
himself an expert on the subject, and liked to lecture us about his big
important security job at SprintNet (sheaa!).
Alex used to like to tell us about how he cracked DES on his 386 at home
running DOS, which we thought was really funny. We also liked it when
he would tell us all about how he wanted to generate a 1GHz tone so that
everyone would shit themselves. We didn't have the heart to tell him
that 1GHz wouldn't do that, partly because he loved to pronounce
"gigahertz" as "JIGahertz", and you can imagine how well that one
particular syllable goes over at a mostly black university.
But Alex didn't spend all his time telling us these lovely stories, he
also liked to tell stories to some of the stupider admins at Temple.
Apparently he told so many of these stories, and told them to such stupid
admins, that they eventually gave him a job and let him put five Linux
boxes on the net.
So, one fine winter's day, a friend and I were poking around his lovely
Linux boxes to find out how we could be eleet security gurus just like
Alex. One of the funnest things we noticed was the login prompt:
*** WARNING: IF YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO CONNECT TO THESE SYSTEM, ***
*** DISCONNECT NOW! ***
trex-1 login:
"Well, isn't that special!" we thought. So...
notme:~# showmount -e trex-1.cis.temple.edu
Export list for trex-1.cis.temple.edu:
/ (everyone)Hmmmmm, well that's not very secure! We decided to fix it for him.
We figured that his main security problem was that he still had some, so we
mounted his silly little drive and changed root's passwd, then fixed login
so that if you typed 'insider' at the login prompt you would get a root
shell. Having done that, we decided that people who typed insider should
also be invisible, so we fixed login again so that if you were insider,
all of your processes were GID 976, and fixed ps, w and pstree so that
they would just ignore processes with GID 976.
After that, things got pretty boring-- what else is there to do on a lame
Linux box when you're already root and invisible? So we tried to amuse
ourselves by reading Alex's mail and looking for porn jpg's. This was
wearing pretty thin when we found this nested two deep under Alex's home
directory (needless to say we laughed ourselves blue):
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hackers Guide to Temple University Networks
Dec 19, 1994
FOREWORD
It was our understanding that the first HGTUN is outdated at this
monent, so the decision was made to make up the second version of the guide.
Bear in mind that this version of HGTUN does not have anything in common
with the first release. We hope that this version will give you more
extended information. Happy hacking.
GENERAL INFORMATION
The physical layer of the TU network is mainly 10 Mb ethernet,
although most of routes between buildings are fiber. The Ambler and Tyler
campus are connected to main TU system using ISDN line rented from the Bell
Atlantic. There are also 3 known to us token ring networks that right now
are bridged over ethernet. There is also one known to us old coaxile cable
that connects Cornwell hall to the University Service Building. This is also
a bridged route. The link to outside world is provided by the PREPnet and
gives TU 2 T-1 channels, that are connected directly to PREPnet routers that
are connected to JvNcNET, ANS-net, cix and other main backbones. This gives
Temple trip of less than 15 hops to most of American destinations and less
then 30 hops to most of destinations around the world.
In 1994 TU started to move from "non-backbone"
ROUTING
-------
Temple has really screwed up routing system, even equipment they
have would provide efficient routing for a university of a bigger size.
Temple uses mainly Welfleet and CISCO routers. Since Temple started to move
to a "secure backbone" every building either has a working router, has a
router that they can not configure properly, or will have a router in the
nearest (or not) future.
Routers are setted up or a to be setted up with ability to route IP,
IPX and Apple Talk packets over a "secure backbone". When I heared about
combination of IPX/AppleTalk and the concept of "secure backbone" I
basically fall out from the chair.
COMMENTS ABOUT NETWORK SECURITY
-------------------------------
Temple has nothing that can be called network security what-so-ever.
There is no one in official positions that would be able to prevent you from
taking over most of networks in Temple University. WARNING: I SAID MOST of
networks AND I'M NOT JOKING. The following are networks that I would NOT
touch if I WERE YOU. They are all in the CIS Department of Temple
University.
TREX-net (TREX-net SERVERS: trex-1.cis.temple.edu
trex-2.cis.temple.edu
trex-3.cis.temple.edu
trex-4.cis.temple.edu
trex-5.cis.temple.edu)
TREX-net workstations: all computers with IPs 155.247.179.xx
The incidents over last couple of month made it pretty clear that
YODA.CIS.TEMPLE.EDU and its subnet the most, Snowhite.cis.temple.edu and its
subnet are not recommended to be broken into. It is reasonable to expect
that several other systems in the CIS department, namely JEDI, THEFORCE and
BIGBOY are not recommened to be broken into.
This is all due to fact that one of routine lists of directoties in
/usr/preserve on Astro.ocis.temple.edu indicated that one of the top rated
"Ghostbusters", the Russian DEVIL (AKAs: F1R3F0x, Iron Eagle, JaGuAr) is in
Temple University. Belive me, you do not, do not want to mess with this
person. If you are attacking those computers, you are committing a suicide.
We have a certain concern that one day we wil realize that this persons take
over the network security department of this university. If this is true,
then we will update this guide as soon as possible. But also I wish to give
you a hint: according to my knowledge he will never move even one finger to
help computers in a *.main.temple.edu (i.e. computers in the University
Service Building) due to some misunderstanding with one of the bosses that
costed him a lot, and computers.
COMPUTER SYSTEMS IN TEMPLE UNIVERSITY
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's it... seems like he kind of ran out of steam at the end, doesn't
it? We figured his wrists were probably pretty tired, what with all the
typing plus all the jerking off in front of his mirror. So we figured we
would save him some trouble and post it to Usenet for him.
We su'ed to his account and posted to temple.unix so that the Temple
community could learn from his work. But wouldn't ya know it, the next
day he was all over temple.unix, denying that he wrote this masterpiece
and deleting the article! So we decided that this time we should post
to alt.2600, comp.unix.security, and temple.unix; and this time we
should put a space and a backspace in front of his name so he didn't
accidentally delete it again.
Well, by now he had figured that someone might have hacked into one of
his systems, and he was probably beginning to suspect that trex-1's crash
in the beginning of the week wasn't just a coincidence (we hosed it by
accident :). So one fine day he logged on as root, noticed that even
though he was the only one on, he was on ttyp2 (whoops), and kicked us
off by killing our instances of telnetd. This was when we realized that
Alex still had one last security problem: he could still log on.
So we logged back on, kicked him off, changed root's shell to /bin/ls,
and left this in /etc/issue:
*********************************************
* This computer has been LIBERATED! *
* *
* by the PCLO *
* *
* Personal Computer Liberation Organization *
* Freedom for all! Access for none! *
*********************************************
Needless to say, he soon after lost sysadmin priveleges at Temple. We
laughed and laughed and laughed. When we finally saw him again around
the end of January, he didn't look so good. But we were glad, cos at
least it was a little quieter around the computer building.
-----
* THE END *
-----
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
_........................
\ \
.\.....PaNTaMImE CaMeL....\
. . _^_ .
. . (__ \ ___ .
. . \ \__/ \__ .
. . \ \_ .
. . / I FEar Y )\ .
. . \ _____ / \_/ .
. . / /\ / /\ .
. . / /\ \ / /\ \ .
\ . |_/ \_||_/ \_| .
.\..........................
\ . PaNTaMiMe CaMeL!@# .
\. NaTioN oF iSLaM! .
..........................
(c)1995 cREEP
_........................
\ Ph0T0 NeGATiVE \
.\.....PaNTaMImE h0rZE....\
. .XXP^XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
. .X(__ \XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
. .XXXX\ \XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
. .XXXXX\ \XXXXXXX.
. .XXXXX/ )\XXXXX.
. .XXXXX\ _____ /XX\X/XX.
. .XXXXX/ /\XXXX/ /\XXXXXXX.
. .XXXX/ /\ \XX/ /\ \XXXXXX.
\ .XXX|_/XX\_||_/XX\_|XXXXX.
.\.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
\ . PaNTaMIME horSZEEe! .
\. NoW iN Ph0T0 NeGATiVE! .
..........................
_........................
\ \
.\.....PaNTaMImE h0rZE....\
. . _^_ .
. . (__ \ .
. . \ \_________ .
. . \ \_ .
. . / I FEar Y )\ .
. . \ _____ / \_/ .
. . / /\ / /\ .
. . / /\ \ / /\ \ .
\ . |_/ \_||_/ \_| .
.\..........................
\ .FaMOUz PaNTaMIM horSZEEe.
\. NOW IN 3d!@#!@#!@#! .
..........................
_^_ I fEar cReep!
(__ \ >
\ \_________ /
\ \_
/ )\
\ _____ / \_/
/ /\ / /\
/ /\ \ / /\ \
|_/ \_||_/ \_|
_........................
\ PRiSoN \
.\.....PaNTaMImE h0rZE....\
. . |^_ | | | | | .
. . (|_ \| | | | | .
. . | \ |___|___|_ | | .
. . | \| | | \_| | .
. . | /|I F|ar |Y )| | .
. . | \| _|___| / |\_/| .
. . | /|/\ | /|/\ | | .
. . | / |\ \| / |\ \| | .
\ . ||_/| \_||_/| \_| | .
.\...|...|...|...|...|...|..
. .FaMOUz PaNTaMIM horSZEEe.
\ . NOW IN 3d!@#!@#!@#! .
\..........................
_...........................
\ \
.\.PaNTaMImE h0rZE in f0rezt.\
. .====_^_ \=======/ \====.
. .===(__ \ \=====/ \===.
. .==== \ \_________ \==.
. .\===/ \ \_ \=.
. . \=/ / I FEar Y )\ |.
. . | \ _____ / \_/ |.
. . | / /\ |/ /\ |.
. . /|\ / /\ \ / /\ \ /|.
\ .=\|/=|_/==\_||_/==\_|===\|.
.\............................
\ . FaMOUz PaNTaMIM horSZEEe .
\. GOW IN 3d and ((STEREO)) .
............................
(c)1995 y
_..........................
\ \
.\.STEalTH PaNTaMImE h0rZE .\
. . .
. . ( _ \ .
. . _ __ .
. . \ .
. . I FEar Y .
. . __ \_/ .
. . / / /\ .
. . \ .
\ . |_/ \_ / \_| .
.\............................
\ . FaMOUz PaNTaMIM horSZEEe .
\. GOW IN 3d!@#!@#!@#!@#!!@ .
............................
(c)1995 y
Cracked by T3 1995
_........................
\ \
.\.PaNTaMImE h0rZE EaTinG.\
. . ~ _^_ .
. .~ ~ (__ \ .
. . ~= _/\ \_________ .
. . === ~ \ \.
. .~ ==== ~ / I FEar Y .
. . ======= \ _____ /.
. .=m0d=or== ~ / /\ / /\.
. .=poop=u== / /\ \ / /\ .
\ .=decide===|_/ \_||_/ \.
.\..........................
\ .FaMOUz PaNTaMIM horSZEEe.
\. NOW gn0t HungReE#@#! .
..........................
(c)1995 y
_........................
\ \
.\.....PaNTaMImE h0rZE....\
. . _^_ .
. . (__ \ .
. . \ \_________ .
. . \ \_ .
. . / I FEar Y )\ .
. . \ _____ / \_/ .
. .~~~ / ~~~ /~~~~ ~~~.
. .~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.
\ .~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.
.\..........................
. .FaMOUz PaNTaMIM horSZEEe.
. .CrosSin DA DElAWARe anD .
. . KillIng StuPHY ENglISH .
. . CunT ASs BItCHEz wHO .
\ .UNDerEsTImaTE THe POwER .
\.uf Y. U FUCKING WHITEY .
..........................
(c)1995 y
_........................
\ s1m0n DA FutUriStik \
.\.....PaNTaMImE h0rZE....\
. .j12^_ckjkj123kj139891922.
. .3(__ \acklj123jklckjlj12.
. .123u\ \_________12hj12h3.
. .asd98\ \1238c89.
. .asd09/ I FEar Y )\ekj2j.
. .23iz3\ _____ /ax\_/23.
. .1231x/ /\ca34/ /\ah23hjs.
. .asd1/ /\ \43/ /\ \324jc3.
\ .134|_/2d\_||_/34\_|12398.
.\..........................
\ .FaMOUz PaNTaMIM horSZEEe.
\.In dA lANd Of MAtHEmAtix.
..........................
(c)1995 y
_........................
\ Shantiqua Da NiG \
.\.....PaNTaMImE h0rZE....\
. . _^_ .
. . (===\ .
. . \=\_________ .
. . \==========\ .
. . /=I=FEar=Y==)\ .
. . \==========/ \_/ .
. . /=/\ /=/\ .
. . /=/\=\ /=/\=\ .
\ . |=/ \=||=/ \=| .
.\..........................
\ .FaMOUz PaNTaMIM horSZEEe.
\. GiVin Up THat Fat AssS .
..........................
(c)1995 y
_........................
\ \
.\.....PaNTaMImE h0rZE....\
. . _^_ .
. . (__ \ .
. . \ \_________ .
. . \ \_ .
. . / I FEar Y )\ .
. . \ _____ / \_/ .
. . / /\ / /\ .
. . / /\ \ / /\ \ .
\ . |_/ \_||_/ \_| .
.\..........................
\ .FaMOUz PaNTaMIM horSZEEe.
\. NOW IN 3d!@#!@#!@#! .
..........................
(c)1995 y
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
A0L.COM MAIL SPOOL
------------------
There are some stupid people on the internet, lots of them on AOL.
And of course, who writes mail to stupid people? Other stupid people!
some of these people can't tell the difference between aol.com and a0l.com,
which is a problem for them, and an interesting fact for us. As usual,
names and stuff have been removed or altered, but you'll get the idea:
---
i got a letter from cousin karl the other day. he wants me to find him
some coin. yeah thanks, i've been over here for almost two years now,
but you write now to get some coin. uh huh, whatever. it was nice to
get mail though!
i am so confused about my love life these days. chris has gone from, "i
want to move on" to "well, you know where i am if you ever come back to
the states" to "is it really over between us?" to his latest "why don't
you come to michigan, live on your own and go to school, so we can renew
our friendship and relationship?"! oh my god, what is he thinking? he
absolutely has me beside myself! then there's this thing with laurent.
he's really confusing me too. we totally agreed to take it nice and
easy, but he seems to be wanting more from me than i really want to
give. i like being single and independent. i like my own space and
time. i don't need a boyfriend to be happy. just let me teach, travel,
iceskate and hang out with some good friends, and i'm a happy camper. so
now what do i do? i don't know what to tell these guys besides what i
already have. i haven't even replied to chris because i haven't had any
time to think about it much less write an e-mail to him. again, if you
or djb have any suggestions, please send them my way!
how's the o.j. stuff coming along? i imagine you still are doing stuff
on him even though he's been acquitted. any other hot new items that
you're working on that i should know about? please keep me informed.
right now i feel like i'm living in a very small world of work and
dealings with laurent.
---
I'M GLAD THAT YOU EXPET A LOT OUT ME WHEN IT COMES TO COLLEGE. I LOVE
THE MOTIVATION THAT MY FAMILY HAS BEEN GIVING ME. BUT MOST OF ALL I'M
REALLY DOING IT FOR MYSELF. I JUST HAVE TO REALIZE THAT I CAN DO IT ON
MY OWN IF I TRY HARD ENOUGH! MOM IS REALLY HELPFUL WHEN I GET DOWN ON
MYSELF, BUT THEN I HAVE FRIENDS TOO. ONLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO
WITHOUT MOM, YOU, OR AUNTY TRACY AND UNCLE LEE. I'M GLAD THAT YOU ARE
ALL SUPPORTING ME IN WHAT I WANT TO DO AND BECOME. IT'S HEALTHY TO ME,
AND I'M GLAD THAT I CAN HAVE THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYONE.
I'M AFRAID THAT IF WE STLL LIVED IN HAWAII THAT I'D NEVER GET TO
EXPERINCE HALF AS MUCH AS I HAVE DONE HERE. IT'S AMAZING, AND MAKES ME
FEEL HAPPY THAT I HAVE THE LIFE THAT I DO.
WELL, I'M GLAD THAT YOU AND THE FAMILY IS DOING GREAT. DEBORAH KIND OF
REMINDS OF MOM SOMETIMES. THEY GET TOO INVOLVED AND GET TOO BUSY AT ONE
TIME. I CAN UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I TEND TO DO THE SAME THING. CAN I ASK
YOU ANOTHER QUESTION, DOES SHE LIKED TO BE CALLED DEBORAH, OR DEBBIE?
BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS REFER TO HER AS DEBORAH. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ALL THE
MINOR DETAIL QUESTIONS, BUT I'D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW EVERYONE BETTER!
---
Hello,
My name is Rich, and I am 37 yrs. old. I had a Kouch Pouch surgery in 1987.
Since that time I have yet to meet someone with this surgical procedure (
artificial bladder made from a section of intestine). Would like to hear from
someone who either has this procedure or knows someone with this procedure.
Thank you .
---
don't disclose your idea to anyone you don't know personally except a
qualified patent
attorney. I have done patents myself and may be of assistance to you. email
me at
---
Hey Jim! Got your message. I'm surprised I didn't see you on the mall
the other day, black power brother! Anyway, isn't technology grand?
Maybe someday we'll have the kind of job that we can do on the
computer from home so we wont have to do that damn driveway (but we'd
probably have to direct traffic on the information highway during
busy functions) See you at work.
---
Hey, Mark. This is Jim. If I am successful with this, you will be the first
person I have ever sent anything by e-mail. Acknowledge.
---
I am a student at the Gadsden Center of University of Alabama. I have to E-Mai
l someone as an assignment towards my Master Degree. I listen to you often and
appreciate the efforts you are making to promote computer awareness. I'm addi
cted.
---
Message:
PER OUR CONVERSATION THIS EVENING I WILL TRY TO ESTABLISH CONTACT. I
TRUST THE FOUNDATION BANQUET WENT WELL. SOMETIME WHEN YOU HAVE TIME
TOP KILL I WILL BORE YOU WITH DETAILS OF THE GUNLOGSON TRUST. WE ARE
VERY VERY LUCKLY TO HAVE GOTTEN THIS MONEY. IF THIS MAIL GETS TO YOU
YOU WILL SEE MY ADDRESS AND MAYBE THEN YOU FIGURE OUT WHY YOU AND I
ARE HAVING TROUBLE CONTACTING EACH OTHER. TALK TO YOU LATER!!!!!!!!
---
Hey hun. I know your grounded from the computer but I thought I'd write
anyway . I love you and I'm gonna write it out if I want.
I just read J+J's message and he said that he let you see jesse naked. I
took that as a hint and I told him that it's up to you but if you want to
I'll let him see you naked, it's up to you though. hehehe....
just kiddin.
:):):):):):):)
I love you. I hope you get to read this.
---
I'm at home....I arrived back from Germany early last Tuesday morning,
having been in transit almost 20 hours. KLM is the best airline...good
food, etc. but the route is longer.
I had a WONDERFUL trip. This man is a miracle...we just grow closer and
closer, and it seems neither of us has to compromise. We sorted his things
and painted his office, but seemed to travel alot more too. The Tirol
region, his mom's, the Innsbruck region, then northern Italy and Logo di
Garda. Olive trees and palm trees in October are quite an experience.
The fiance visa petition we filed was approved...now we have to get him
interviewed at the Frankfurt consulate...it should work out to have him
here around January 5. This week I am going to look into airfares and see
if I can go to help him at Christmas time...then come back hand in hand!
So, now I am trying to bury myself in work to make the time fly....this
stage is hard....we are getting so used to each other, but, now we know
this is the last 2 1/2 months apart! I suspect the wedding will be end
of Feb. or March...I'll let you know as soon as we get that interview date.
I still feel like a teenager in love!
How is your life? How is working going?
---
Glenn is still in the hospital.surgery was done monday night. He has fifty
fifty chance I just talked to lois he is in icu, Bill
---
Russ, what's up? I told you that I would write. Wanna hear a funny
thing? Valerie said to me that you should have played the part of
the grape in the Grapes of Wrath. Well my friend is harrassing me
with his goddamn beeps on my E-mail. I miss you so much, see ya
later. write back soon, I love mail!
---
UP YOU ASS
---
How are you?
I have told Fred6 (screen name:fred3) that he should write you so you
can become better acquainted.
I am back at home and preparing for Paul's (daughter Pam's son) graduation
from DeVry Institute, an well-respected and nationwide electronics college.
I really did enjoy meeting you and Ian and of course your MOM (give her a
name and drag her to that old computer!!!) It was so nice to see your DAD as
an adult, last time i saw him all he could say was goo-goo, gah-gah (oh, yes,
he did not always sound so smart!!!)
Went to Wayne's soccer game before I left Edwards...his team lost 5-3 but
Wayne is one heck of a soccer player and made 2 of the 3 points.
I wish your family to know you have an open invitation to visit us whenever
you get a chance...separately or collectively...please think about it!!!
Bye for now...
---
It was great to see you the other day and you relally look good, with
the weight loss and all. What is the secret??? It's also very nice to
see that you are so happy with your job! I wanted to go out with you
all but Cheryl picked that time to decide that she needed to unload
some things, so being the good PW person that I am I said yes dear
and sat down to listen.
I certainly hope that everyone didn't get you down too much, just
seems like a lot happened at once and it's sort of difficult for
everyone to digest at the moment, but I know everyone enjoyed seeing
you again, just think, you could have been teamleader had ou stayed,
and been in line for a step increase.
Hope the scenary was good the other night at the bar and the trip
home was a good safe one for you. Say hello to everyone that you
see...
---
Hi Jess! I finally figured out what I was doing wrong when trying to e-mail
you. So how are you? Did you guys win your rugby game on Saturday? I hope
so. If you did I'm sure you were partying all the rest of the weekend and
singing the dirty little songs of the rugby team. Well, whatever you did, I
hope you had a good weekend. Are you coming home this weekend? I know it is
Parents Weeknend there, is your dad going to visit?
How is the guy situation? Do you still talk to Garrett or are you totally
finished as friends, too?
Eric and I are doing ok now. Last time you were home things were really bad
but now everything has gotten cleared up. We just needed some time to think
about what we wanted and if that included each other.
The semester is half over, I'm so glad. i'm sick of taking classes that aren't
related to my major. I hate my philosophy class, it is soooo boring. My
teacher stutters a lot, not because he has a stuttering problem, just because
he is trying to spit out the words. I feel like saying "Spit it out, Moron. I
am sick of you saying Um...UH...UH..."
Anyway, I shouldn't complain. Everything else is going great and I'm not
having a hard time with any of my classes.
I guess I'm going to go, but write back soon. I miss talking to people.
Say hi to Sara for me and tell her I'm thinking of her and I'll write soon.
---
hope this e-mail goes through. had jon (one of our visiting region
folks) try sending one yesterday. we're not sure if it went through.
tried calling you yesterday and found out you were in colorado. i guess
i'll just have to wait until you get back from your trip to find out if
this goes through. let me know as soon as you can.
i just wanted to let you know that i really enjoyed chatting witcha at t
the market street pub. i miss talking to you and seeing you. you mean so
much to me , i dont want to lose your friendship. just remember that it
is going to take a lot of work for both of us.you totally kick ass, you
rock my world,(hopefully soon because im horny as hell, except you
probably dont want to do it with me but rather denise :) ill tell you
now im 100 times better than she ever hoped to be :) ) so there, any
way, write me back something good, and only to me, i like the group thing
but i also like the one on one thing as well. its good with only 2 people
although i dont mind more joining in. got any hot chicas in mind
---
i'm so sorry i missed you this past weekend..i called a couple of times because
i really didn't want to leave with out meeting you. i hope you're doing good
and feeling great these days. my thoughts on living in columbus, i did like
it and it is spread out as you told me...and the most important thing, i can
find my way to town and home without to much problem...just turn left on east
broad street from colonial apts and go straight to the pointed building with
gold on top. smilessssssssss
i hope you can email me back today..i want to talk to you. my girlfriend just
called me from columbus and she said you called monday right after i had starte
d my journey back to va. talk to me when you can....
---
WOW! I have never gotten a reply so quickly from the mail before. Now I
understand what Scott means when he calls U.S. Mail "snail-mail", this is
awesome! I am glad to hear encouraging words even in the midst of the problems
that you are facing. I meant to ask you if you were still considered on active
duty, I guess so if they are going to pay your way. Are the reserve
requirements the same in Brussels? How do they feel about women in uniform?
Be sure and take lots of pictures. When I went to Canada in 94 I kept a daily
journal (I wish it was daily), it is nice to sit back and refresh my memory by
reliving the details in that little book.
hey guys whats up got your letter today, i t will be interesting to
see how much matt either comes back to kearney, i dont see his puppy
dog ass staying away. so leslie is ripping on gigi, sounds like a
girly problem to me. i thingk that it is probalbly a safe assumption
to say that she is a drunk,she will probalbly put all that weight right
back on. i knoew i would be fatter if i didnt wrestle. coaches put 2 and
2 together today and found out what my initials where today, they flipped
me shit when i went in to talk to them about my fat results.coach confirmed
today that he wants me at 42's. tomm. we have no practice but saturday the
freshmen have a practice where we have to get plastics , sweaters and pants
on and see how much water weight we can lose, tomm. we have that car push
so that should be fun, rained here this afternoon,yea, that is probalby
my assumption of where hopkins will end up at. that caoch will bullshit
him and tell him what he wants to here and he will rot away at marshall,
unless he gets his shit straight and starts sending stuff to different
colleges, if he has any intention of coming out here he better get on it.
watched reese live wrestle yesterdy, he is an animal, he should win the
national title. well, thats all i know so later,kabot
---
As a result of a change in the ETAP program schedule, NTTC requests that you
deliver the mentoring guidelines and selection criteria by 30 October 1995
rather than 15 November 1995.
Thank you for your continued support of the ETAP Program.
---
Hi lindsey. How is everything going. I am having a great time but i miss
you very much. How are mom and dad are they being nice to you. Make sure
you thank mom for dinner tonight because it will be better than what i eat.
I saw Catlin Wrights brother today and I see him every once and a while. I
can't wait untill the 5th when you come up.
I played volleyball last night my team won. Don't tell anyone but we only
won because othe girls on my team were better than the guys out there. How
is soccer the clarinet and elections. Just do your best in all three. Well
I have to go but Email me soon. Please!
---
Dear Andrea,
What's up? Sorry it took me a while to write cuz' my computer was at
the shop for a while. You see, we took it there to get more gigabytes or
something like that.
By the way you can write to me to this address instead because it's
the school one. that way for every second that i'm on it won't come outta
my pocket.
How have you been? How was the SAT? I took it at Lincoln. I thought
the math was not that difficult. but the verbal section really drilled
me. I had three math and four verbal. I'd prefer the math rather than
verbal, what about you?
So, you are not going to the homecoming? iS IT ON THE 28TH OR
SOMETHING? bETTER MAKE UP YOUR MIND QUICK CUZ' IT'S APPROACHING. (sorry
about the caps.)
I've been so busy lately with my homework. It's not that i get alot
of homework, it's just that i don't understand and it takes me a while to
read and try to figure it out. Oh god, i'm gonna flunk calculus!
Well, i finally got my class rank and the weighted G.P.A. computed by
the school. I don't really like my gpa, but i guess i'm sorta satisfied
with the ranking. But i know that it'll drop after this semester because
of Calculus and and physics. Have you gotten yours, tell me and i'll
tell you mine. By the way have you received your senior portrait, if you
did can i have one. i still have not received mine yet.
Anyways, that's all for now later!
---
ok hello, write me please, especially dad, dad do you hate me know or
something, i'm confused, talk to me will ya-i promise not to be
depressing anymore, i promise.
ok budget update- i have to buy a psychology book --40dollars...i also bought a spanish workbook-so i
won't forget any of it. i bought some folders i needed and since we
really can't buy books i have to photo copy chapters out of book,
example stlg5 will get me 85 copies. thats enough for just one class or
yea i guess two. so money is being spent now, sorry once again, but
it seems to be requirment, i swear i'm not wasting it, i can't i feel
so roton and guilty if i do, i feel better if i tell you want i
bought with your money. school here is great, as i said a lot more
work than i thought, which upsetted me, be in truth i like my subject
very interesting-love my philosphy, doing an essay now over-why we
should be moral-great agreement, i love it. history is interesting
but more confunsing on essay topics, and on psychology fine so far,
just a repeat of what i all ready know. i love tutorials! there very
hard and very scary in a way, but there great. there a small group
of 7 to 10 students, everyother week two people prepare essays and
leads the discussion with students interacting giving ideas, and
debating the issues that's being discussed. we learn giving
presentation, orally agruing are points, personal attention from out
tutorial leader,- you know discusing ideas with a group and getting
fed back, ok, ok see this will help me as you just witnessed i can't
express myself clearly in just one or two sentences. oh don't get me
wrong i'm scared to do all this presentation, but it will help me, i
will always be scared if i don't learn to overcome it, right? cute
guy, oops sorry verbalizing my thoughts, ok anyway gotta go and eat
dinner and watch star trek- so if you still care for me, adam i know
you do :) write me please, bye for now, love christina
LETTER 3---SAVE THIS
---
Hi mom.
How are things on the home front? Everything is going fine
for me, but I do have a lot of homework. Somehow I will survive. I am going
to call you tonight. I am working on my resume, maybe that will help to find
a job. I did get a job doing telemarketing, but I will start next week. Could
you pick up my pay from Tasker's? Ryan says he doesn't like it sitting
there. He can be very anal. How are the boys? How is dad? How is work?
Write me and tell me all about it. I am going to work on resume and then go
work out, so I will talk to you later!
LOVE, MoNiCa
---
I HOPE YOU DIDN'T BUY THE 300 SHARES OF K MART. LOOKS LIKE WE ARE GOING LOSE
OUR SHIRT WHEN THEY FILE FOR CHAPTER 11.
---
GEORGE,CAN YOU SEND ME HIS # PLEASE. I GOT NOTICES FROM BOTH HIM AND MOHYLA
AND READ THEM ON A MACHINE IN FRANKFURT BUT THEY WERE GONE ON MY MACHINE WHEN
I RETURNED HOME YESTERDAY...I PLAN TO INVITE THEM TO JOIN US FOR LUNCH ON THE
28TH. OKAY? REGARDS. DJW
---
JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT THIS WEEK HAS BEEN AN IMPROVEMENT OVER LAST AND
NOT JUST THE AFTERMATH OF THE HURRICANE THAT SWEPT THROUGH YOUR HOUSE LAST
WEEK.
THINKING OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---
Hey Buddy,
I miss typing with you! I really shouldn't be thinking about that
right now since I have a huge midterm tomorrow in Microbiology. I've been
studying all week, I'm sure my parents would be proud. Lets take this
moment to think about just how hard I've been
studying......<silence>.....ahh, now that was nice. Man, I'm so wired off
coffee right now I don't know what to do. I know this is kind of a weird
e-mail, I just thought I'd waste some time before I get back to studying.
Hey, when are you coming out to the "Golden State"? I'm just curious, you
haven't mentioned any conferences and I was wondering if you ever found
out if there was going to be one out here. I guess I should be going,
call me when you gewt some time.
---
Good morning Kevin: did you make it to Redwood City yesterday? JWA funded a
loan in that vicinity-Buena Vista-about 2 years ago. Could be a winner.
Have you received M Gallaway's check? I've also forwarded her papers on to
you.Please E-mail me date you begin interest so I may generate her Margerum
Loan Investment Summary. Jim Duley has 32K which Susan told me to roll; I
think he might like to get 12% and also be happy to know I would get better
fee with you as that reduces his obligation to me. How about Oakland? I
received the Servicing Agreements; if you want to mail me a blank; I can send
them out with any new paperwork for signature & return them to you for your
files. I'll be away 10/18/-Wednesday returning 10/26-Wednesday visiting my
daughter Caroline for Family Weekend at the U of AZ. As I really like Tucson
& have friends/family there, I also extend my trip into a mini-vacation.
Talked to my friend Bruce re the 29K; he doesn't want any debt so doubt if
there is anything you can find him; he has your number. Have a great weekend
in the banana belt!!! Hi to Kathy; how is LeeAnn?? bye for now, Lee
---
Hey, Art, I just logged on to see if I had any mail. It was a pleasant
surprise to see your letter! I enjoyed meeting you and was glad that you
enjoyed the experience too.
Three fingers! I thought you seemed to like it and you were comfortable. I
told you that I am very intuitive and try hard to please the person I'm with.
You really do have a great body to work on!
I've never been much of a top, so to speak. And, like you, I exercise
extreme caution and try not to get carried. At one point I was really
tempted though to do what you were hoping. Next time, however, I'll have
something almost as good, safe, and reaaly exciting.
I'll talk to you later.
---
I have the mail box woes since there has been nothing in my box for
many days.....boo hooo. I can't imagine that you have had anything
else to do!! I heard mom and dad had a great visit and fell in love
with the kid. I wish I could meet this little guy. Our student is
leaving us some time in the next few days. He complained to the
coordinator that we don't feed him enough, entertain him enough and
out house is too messy. After we called and complained of his lack
of responsibilty and discipline, it was decided he would move on....
fine by me. Things are going okay here. After 48 hours off the
Serzone all vertigo was gone. We have decided to stop all
antidepressants for now and things have looked good for about 2 weeks
so far. I have been denying the diabetes and BP for too long so I
guess those will be the next things to be approached. Tonight my BP
was 155/100 and I know that it cannot continue to be that high. Well
enough of all this happy news. Talk to you soon I hope...Love, Jan
---
Jane, James is getting better. He went back to school on Monday and seems
to be doing okay. He had to get a tooth pulled on top of everything else
last week so I think we are on the road to recovery. He has to have a blood
test done this week, then the doctor will see about letting him go to gym and
recess. That has bothered him more than anything else. No sense in going to
school if you can't go to gym and recess. Getting an education doesn't seem
to be to important.
I guess I got the tail end of what James had. I have a cold and sore throat
and now Rick is getting sick. So he is going to leave town to see if he can
get well. He was sick last week with vomiting and diarhea and that finally
got better. I guess we will all get well eventually.
Work is going crazy. The new owners are changing everything and it seems to
be taking forever. I don't know how this will go but it is driving me crazy.
I am not enough people and don't have enough time to do everything they want
done. They think I should go in whenever they want me to and work. I think
if I were there 24 hours a day it would not be enough. So I am going crazy
and feel lost. Don't know what I am going to do. I want to stay and I want
to go.
Have been doing better on the hormones except for the fact that i keep having
periods and they seem to last longer and longer. So I have one more month
and they should quit. At least that is what the doctor said. So we shall
see. He said spotting for 3 months then nothing, so I guess I will wait and
see. My emotions are more even and I don't want to cry so much. The hot
flashes have stopped and the night sweats are almost gone. I can't say I
don't not want to kill people but maybe that is just me. Who knows???
Judy seems to be doing okay. Haven't talked to Jim. I still haven't gotten
my letters or anything else to Rex. Did you send him anything? I'm never
sure you get my letters because you never comment on what I write so I don't
know if you decided to send him anything or not.
Glad you and Harry are better. Hope the boat is wonderful. Thought I might
run down this weekend. Tell Harry I like my margarita on the rocks with
salt. I can't say I am looking forward to winter but I guess I have no
choice.
Will write again soon.
---
Hi dad Well I did it I switched to on-line!!!!!!no I did not go to a mac
though I dont know those mac donalds there just so pricy for what ? a happy
meal when you get a value meal for so much cheaper? I have always been a
pretty good bussiness woman ya know you should of come to me instead when
making that big desion huh as long as your happy. and you have the money to
up grade every three months. If you feel like writing you smart daughter
lawanda my adrees is JLvayo do have to use @aol.com let me know see ya
lawanda i am not on prodigy any longer so dont write me there lawanda
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
A Tre` elite journey into somewhere too eleet to tell you the name...
Anonymous Donater.
OFFICE MEMO Security Incident Date:xx/xx/xx
System Administrators:
A security incident occurred last night where an intruder was detected using a
sniffer on a XXXX UNIX host. A sniffer is a hidden program that reads all
network traffic including username and passwords. It is possible that this
sniffing occurred over a several day period and user and root passwords on
XXXX machines may have been compromised.
I strongly recommend that all users change their passwords on UNIX and VMS
machines as soon as possible.
All root access to XXXX machines (both direct and indirect) will go
through a secure host like XXXX.XXX.XXX, using an S/Key password. S/Key
provides a one time password that will not be vulnerable to sniffer
attacks. [ed note: bwahahahahaahah]
Contact your system manager or XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX for
assistance setting up S/Key access to your machine.
XXX is working on setting up Kerberos, an authentication tool, for a long term
solution for both user and root access to XXXX machines. This system will
require significant changes on both our clients and hosts, however, it will be
nearly transparent to the users. Kerberos will ensure that there are no clear
text passwords on XXXX.
---
XXXX Unix Sendmail Recommendations
The Unix sendmail daemon continues to be a serious security risk to XXXX
Unix systems. It is strongly recommended that you follow the steps
below to reduce XXXX's vulnerability to this, and future, sendmail
attacks. If you are uneasy about making these changes yourself, please
contact XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX and request assistance from a
Computing Services Unix System Administrator.
Fact: sendmail holes have been used successfully many times in the
past year to break XXXX Unix systems and obtain ROOT access! Once one
XXXX machine is broken, many more are vulnerable. For example, a
password sniffer on a compromised XXXX system may allow an intruder to
compromise other systems, perhaps systems we've worked hard to secure,
or perhaps your system!
Recommended steps to reduce the sendmail "problem":
- Run sendmail ONLY on machines spooling mail (mail servers)
- Run Berkeley sendmail daemon (currently v8.6.10) [ed note: bwahaaha]
* Patches more readily available for various
architectures
* "Shrink-wrapped" version provided by XXXX
* README attached below
- Mail server clients should have a DNS MX record
referencing their mail server. A MX record "instructs" mail
senders to forward mail to the mail server, avoiding the
client's sendmail daemon altogether.
* Send email to 'XXXXXXXXXXXX' and request
that mail clients have MX records to mail server
E.g.
% Mail -s "MX foo-client" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Please set the MX for xxxxxxxx to XXXXXXXXXXX
CTRL-D
* Disable sendmail daemon startup in system startup file
- Some mail readers/tools (e.g. 'exmh') require a local
sendmail daemon to send outbound mail. In this case, you
should run sendmail using TCP wrappers to restrict access to
the local machine:
* Fetch/install TCP wrappers
* Start sendmail with inetd; put following in /etc/inetd.conf
(this assumes you've installed TCP wrappers...)
smtp stream tcp nowait root /usr/etc/tcpd /usr/lib/sendmail -bs
* Put following in /etc/hosts.allow:
sendmail: 127.0.0.1
Sendmail will start only to deliver outbound mail. Inbound mail
should be going to mail server via MX record.
- The Sun and IBM sendmail patches can be found.
(XXXX recommends running Berkeley 8.6.10 instead of
vendor sendmails)
---
An action item from the 1994 XXXX Computer and Network Security
Technical Working group was to set up a wide Unix log host.
A central, secure log host provides better tracking and monitoring
of XXXX system intrusions. Computing Services has installed the
system XXXX.XXX.XXX as a secure log host.
Unix system administrators should append the following lines to the
file /etc/syslog.conf:
#Central logging host
*.debug @XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX
(The whitespace must consist of TAB characters.) This entry should
work on all flavors of Unix and should be added to every XXXX Unix
system's syslog.conf. You must send a HUP to the syslog daemon (e.g
'kill -HUP pid_of_syslogd') or reboot for the entry to take effect.
There is no performance penalty for logging remotely. Nor will there
be any impact on your local system if the log host is unavailable (the
packets are simply dropped on the floor). There is no cost to log to
this server.
---
A new security tool called System Administration Tool for Analyzing
Networks (SATAN) is to be released on the Internet April 5. See
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX for more information on SATAN.
XXXXXXXXX are beta-testing SATAN and they have graciously agreed to
scan the XXXX.XXX domain. Since SATAN will not be released until 4/5
and there will be a mad rush to download and run the program at that
time (both legitimately and illegitimately), XXXX is fortunate to get a
preview of the tool and the security holes (if any) it uncovers.
This scan will begin some time after XX:XX XX, XXXXX, XXXXX XX. The
scan will be conducted from the system XXXX.XXX.XXX and will be
directed to every XXXX Unix system. System administrators will be
provided the log for each system for which they are responsible.
---
TWINKIE FAILURE TESTING
-----------------------
In an effort to clarify questions about the purported
durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we
subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:
EXPOSURE:
A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for four days, during
which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed
crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis,
birds -- even pigeons -- avoided this potential source of sustenance.
Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie
retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie
was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed
to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the
filling, however, retained its advertised "creaminess."
RADIATION:
A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which
was set for precisely 4 minutes -- the approximate cooking time of
bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began to emit the Twinkie's rich,
characteristic aroma of artificial butter. After 1 minute, this
aroma began to resemble the acrid smell of burning rubber. The experiment
was aborted after 2 minutes, 10 seconds, when thick, foul smoke began
billowing from the top of the oven. A second Twinkie was subjected
to the same experiment. This Twinkie leaked molten white filling.
When cooled, this now epoxylike filling bonded the Twinkie to its
plate, defying gravity; it was removed only upon application of a
butter knife.
EXTREME FORCE:
A Twinkie was dropped from a ninth-floor window, a fall of
approximately 120 feet. It landed right side up, then bounced
onto its back. The expected "splatter" effect was not observed. Indeed,
the only discernible damage to the Twinkie was a narrow fissure on
its underside. Otherwise, the Twinkie remained structurally intact.
EXTREME COLD:
A Twinkie was placed in a conventional freezer for 24 hours.
Upon removal, the Twinkie was not found to be frozen solid, but its
physical properties had noticeably "slowed": the filling was found
to be the approximate consistency of acrylic paint, while exhibiting the
mercurylike property of not adhering to practically any surface. It
was noticed that the Twinkie had generously absorbed freezer odors.
EXTREME HEAT:
A Twinkie was exposed to a gas flame for 2 minutes. While
the Twinkie smoked and blackened and the filling in one of its "cream
holes" boiled, the Twinkie did not catch fire. It did, however,
produce the same "burning rubber" aroma noticed during the irradiation
experiment.
IMMERSION:
A Twinkie was dropped into a large beaker filled with tap
water. The Twinkie floated momentarily, began to list and sink, and
viscous yellow tendrils ran off its lower half, possibly consisting
of a water-soluble artificial coloring. After 2 hours, the Twinkie had
bloated substantially. Its coloring was now a very pale tan -- in
contrast to the yellow, urine-like water that surrounded it. The
Twinkie bobbed when touched, and had a gelatinous texture. After 72
hours, the Twinkie was found to have bloated to roughly 200 percent
of its original size, the water had turned opaque, and a small,
fan-shaped spray of filling had leaked from one of the "cream holes."
Unfortunately, efforts to remove the Twinkie for further
analysis were abandoned when, under light pressure, the Twinkie
disintegrated into an amorphous cloud of debris. A distinctly sour
odor was noted.
SUMMARY OF RESULTS
The Twinkie's survival of a 120-foot drop, along with
some of the unusual phenomena associated with the "creamy filling" and
artificial coloring, should give pause to those observers who would
unequivocally categorize the Twinkie as "food." Further clinical
inquiry is required before any definite conclusions can be drawn.
--
"Your information is mine for free. But everything I can grab is secret
unless you have something I want which can't be free-loaded, stolen or
found somewhere else." - George C. Smith, The Virus Creation Labs
