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Fucked Up College Kids File 535
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Association by mutual benefit
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Something rather interesting happened to me today. I took my
rollerblades back to the store from where I had purchased them, they
needed a minor repair. As I stood by the counter waiting for someone to
serve me, a young man walked up to me and asked whether I was Mike. I
was taken back for a moment... there was something familiar about the
face but I couldn't place it. Obviously I replied yes. It turned out
that this person was someone that had gone to the same highschool as me
6 years ago.
So what was so interesting about that besides a pleasant surprise? Well,
this individual I had hardly considered a friend. Sure I knew his name,
but that was because he was loosely connected with the "cool" people
because of his drug use, and total lack of interest in school.
What really got me was the fact that he had remember who I was. I
remember many people from those early years, in fact I was quite
impressed with how many names, both first and last, that I could
recollect. I could name off tens of people, people that I knew
well or barely at all, people that I will probably never see again.
Jean-Paul happened to belong to one of the latter group, or so I
thought. It was this occurance that made me think about the meaning of
friendship... just what exactly does it mean nowadays?
I used to have a friend, Andrew, we both had gone to the same junior
school and the same highschool for 2 years. In total we had been good
friends for 8 years, going camping together, going to the same parties,
always sitting beside each other in class. We both considered each
other to be our "best friend", the idea of ever parting ways never
crossed our minds. I had always admired Andrew for his natural gift for
mathematics. Out partying, drinking, doing drugs, or just hanging out
never seemed to impair his ability of pulling off excellent marks.
I had him pinned as going far in life, and enjoying life at the same
time. Him and I weren't going to be one of those people that screwed
around in school when young, and only live to regret it as we grew
older. I was wrong. Needless to say I did not share Andrew's
gift. I was a poor student, and only after failing to get good marks
after yet another year my mother transferred me to another school. It
was at this time that Andrew just started to fade away. We no longer
hung out, played hackie-sack, or just talked. In all honestly I
have to admit this came as a surprise. How is it possible that someone
you have know for 8 years, day to day, could just disappear so easily.
Our friendship seemed to have endured so much for so long... yet it
took nothing but a few weeks of separation to severe all ties.
This is what has made me really wonder what true friendship is. All
those people in my past that I spent so much time with, all those people
that I considered "friends" or were they? Does the word, "acquaintance"
truly describe what we mean when we say "friend" nowadays?
I wonder if this consumer related society that we live in has invaded
our own way of living... I guess its a stupid question. Of course it
has. After all we are the product of our environment. Maybe just as we
have learnt that you use something and then throw it away has filtered
through to the way we interact with each other. A friendship
is only maintained as long as minimal effort is required and we benefit
from it. I doubt that it can be argued that friendships are beneficial.
Its nice to have someone to talk to, someone that you can ask favors of
or someone that you can hang out with when there's nothing else to do.
But friendships become more demanding when one has to make an effort to
stay in contact with someone, either by phoning or going out of your way
to see them. This is probably the true test of friendship. If time and
distance grow long and the bond remains intact... well then maybe you
two share a friendship and not an acquaintance of mutual benefit.
I was able to talk with Jean-Paul for about 10 minutes before the
assistant came back. Within that time I had learnt that he had plans of
going off to university this coming year, and drugs were no longer
controlling his life. While talking to him there was one thing that
struck me, his eyes. He was the kind of person that could talk to
you and look you straight in the eye. I don't know what it was... but
just from those few minutes I thought as friends we would have really
gotten along. While leaving the store I felt happy that Jean-Paul was
finally finding some direction in his life. I wish him well.
As for Andrew.. well he has been kicked out of university. Many of his
roommates have moved out because he has no respect for others, basically
he's a slob. What's he doing with his time? Well apparently growing pot
in his apartment to make money.
Sometimes you really can live such a carefree life... but reality has a
way of reminding us that the good times can't go on forever.
Inner^Kry
11/Jul/98
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