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Fucked Up College Kids File 428
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Crime and Punishment
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James is a 22 year old black male. He works 6 days a week at a
local health care facility, taking care of mentally retarded
adults.
On his days off, James likes to play basketball. One day,
the weather is so nice that James decides to walk to the court.
While taking a shortcut through the city park, 3 police
officers confront James and arrest him. It seems that several
minutes earlier, a woman was victimized by a purse snatcher.
Though she's not entirely sure, the woman positively identifies
James anyway.
RESULT: Although they aren't entirely convinced, the jury
convicts James anyway. He is currently serving the 3rd year
of his 5 year sentence.
Walter is the CEO of a large airline. For several years, he has
been falsifying reports and purchasing black market equipment
in order to save money.
One day, his luck ran out and one of US-Global's plane's
crashes, killing 128 people.
The families of the victim's file a class action lawsuit
against US-Global. Walter has the best team of lawyers that
money can buy. The plaintiff's have the best lawyer minimum wage
can buy.
RESULT: US-Global is found at fault and Walter is forced to pay
fines of $60 Million, almost 2% of US-Globals $2.5 Billion dollar
profit last year.
Stacy is a 16 year old heroin addict. She turned to drugs when
she was 13 to escape the turmoil of her parents divorce. Her
father routinely beat her mother and Stacy was forced to watch
this since she was 2 years old.
One day, Stacy is buying some crank when the DEA bursts
into the room. Stacy is caught in the crossfire and a bullet
strikes her spinal cord, paralyzing her from the waist down.
RESULT: Stacy is sentenced to 5 years for heroin possession.
She is released after 3 1/2 years for good behavior. Homeless
and unable to get a job due to her paralysis, Stacy eventually
commits suicide by slicing her wrists with an old tin can. Her
obituary consist of 4 lines. 2 more than the number of people
that show up at her funeral.
Julio is a small town drug dealer. He began dealing to help pay
his college tuition and eventually dropped out because there was
more money to be had in narcotics than in accounting.
One day, while selling heroin to a young girl named Stacy,
Julio is raided by several DEA agents. Julio manages to kill
three agents before running out of bullets and surrendering.
RESULT: Julio is let out on $75,000 bail put up by his suppliers.
He then leaves the country and goes to South America where he
works his way up through the ranks until he raises to the head
of operations of a new branch of the Fernandez drug cartel aimed
at hooking European pre-teens on narcotics.
Michael volunteers for several charitable organizations. He also
coaches the local soccer team and is president of the PTA.
At the urging of several friends, Michael runs for mayor of
his town. Realizing how popular he is within the community, no one
runs against him. Michael is elected unanimously and immediately
institutes a war to free his community of drugs.
One evening, several members of the local branch of the Fernandez
drug cartel come to Michael's home and make it clear that if he
doesn't end his little turn war, his family will suffer. Michael
promptly has them arrested and is hailed a local hero.
RESULT: All but one of the drug dealers are let off on technicalities.
3 days later, Michael and his 8 year old daughter Anna are killed
in a gang land style shooting.
Bill is an elected official. He regularly cheats on his wife, using
his position of power to intimidate women and coerce them into bed.
He also abuses alcohol and participates in illegal business investment
schemes.
One day a South American gentleman offers to provide Bill with
a large sum of money in exchange for a bit of Bill's political
influence.
RESULT: Bill uses the money obtained from Senor Fernandez to run a
largely successful media blitz. He is eventually elected to the
president of the United States of America. Senor Fernandez is quite
happy with his investment.
Crime Pays.
Anyone who tells you otherwise, wasn't a good criminal.
-InVerse
inverse@mos.com
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