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Fucked Up College Kids File 371
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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A rambling discourse on the Night
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Mine is a rich world
Textured with the satin shades of night
I like to go outside at night and fuck around. Connect to other people's
phone lines. Or just listen to the leaves rustle. Just sit and listen
during the fall. Or go out and watch snow fall and cover everything.
Sometimes my girlfriend comes, and we mess around, but I never really get
into it. I usually like to just go somewhere, like the park, or the
telephone company office. Sometimes I just go and sit outside someone's
house and think about what everyone inside is missing
I love the night. It transforms places where you normally go into a dark
murky mist. It's like walking around with your eyes closed. The mind has a
tendency to fill in for what it cannot discern. You know where everything
is; you've been in this damned park a billion times in the daylight. But at
night, everything is different. It's like trying to read your name in a
mirror. You know it's your name, but it's just different enough to throw
off your perception.
Sometimes when I go, I do some field phreaking. It's fun to do, and it
gives me something to do if I'm feeling active, or if I'm restless about
something, it keeps my mind off it.
Halloween is my favorite night of the year. It's the one night when
everyone gets to find out just how different night really is from day.
Everything is there, just the same, but there's something in the air that
makes you more alert. It makes your eyes open wider, you steps move slower,
your ears listen harder. You focus on every scrap of information you can
get about your surroundings. I find it easy to find a corner and sit and
meditate about the day at night.
On Halloween, everyone feels excited. There's this electricity in the air
that makes the leaves crackle a little louder, and the wind blow a little
colder. The air moves, but doesn't. Many people mistake this feeling for a
feeling of death, hence Halloween's association with such things. This is
not the case at all. These people feel how the night exhilarates the body
and the mind, and it scares them so much they associate it with the worst
thing imaginable.
I am not afraid of the dark. I was once, but I just don't think of bad
things anymore. They aren't there, and anything that would make me think
they are is just my adrenaline. It comes from a primal fear of the unknown,
and used properly this can be a better buzz then any stupid drug.
I go out every night I can and explore. I do this because I love the night,
I love the way it changes everything, makes everything special, exciting.
Just doing the stupidest things at night seems like a huge risk. It's like
flame to a pyro. It may just be a stupid camp fire, but to the right
person, it's so much more.
If this all sounds absurd, it's probably the instant iced tea I had before
retiring to bed. That was about four hours ago... it's now 2:30am and I
should be outside. Well... I'm off..
- Ambrose -
- mailto:ambrose@connact.com
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