Fucked Up College Kids File 311

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Fucked Up College Kids

 · 5 years ago

  

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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   = 
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                                shit list 
                                --------- 

Shit wednesday hates: 

Polyester, pink anything, Tony Benett, Orbitz, yuppie assholes, 
hypocrites, politicians, girl flicks, The Human Race, beets, Christmas,  
Bob Saget, people that use the term "elite" with a straight  
face, anyone who owns a Viper or Diablo that isn't me or someone who 
will let me ride/drive in it, The Brady Bunch, Bic pens, Macintosh,  
Snapple, meatloaf, Keds, Jello shots, African Greys, technophobes, 
Visual Basic, alternators, flourescent lights, cardigans (sweaters and 
the band) asparagus, tests of the Emergency Broadcast System, snow, 
stucco, 9 volt batteries, Elvis sightings, dinner parties, dirt roads, 
insurance, 8 tracks, Shrinky Dinks, front clasp bras, football, daylight 
savings time, Hemmingway, Perkins, Volkswagon Rabbits, stupid questions 
(yes there IS such thing as a stupid question), kareoke, golfing pants, 
"Where's the Beef?" T- shirts, people who walk around impersonating crack 
babies, button fly jeans, collection agencies, professional wrestling, 
Calvin Klein ads with those English anorexics, Idaho, Superman, 
Snuffalupagus, slipper socks, poodles, Easter, Sweet 'n Low, Surge, 
velcro, evvironmentalist lesbian buddhist vetranarians, Pat Buchanan, 
Pat Sajak, popcorn flavored jellybeans, Fugazi-gone-anti-pit, that fucker 
that always beat me up in 3rd grade, ladybugs, Monopoly, Motley Crue, 
Ruth's voice, Muddy's, smurfs, Regis Philbin, Bicardi 151, "Free Willy" 
(in fact it REALLY irks me that they stuck Mr. Blond from Reservoir Dogs 
in that movie as Mr. GoodGuy foster dad), John Tesh, shag carpet, dust 
bunnies, Tipper Gore, clogs, caffeine free, parallel parking, pink hearts, 
orange stars, yellow moons, green clovers, blue diamonds, purple horseshoes, 
red balloons, panic buttons, sticky notes, avacado green kitchen appliences, 
country music, black eyes, Martha Stuart (she's the anti- christ, you know), 
empty refrigerators, fat chicks in spandex, Rikki Lake, mornings, all the 
good bands that are "maturing", cutting their hair and starting to sound 
like REM, dental work, run on sentences, good trashing sites next to Black 
Jack Pizza, laundry, scratching on the eight ball, hippies or anything that 
smells like patchouli, Jehovah's Witnesses, probable cause, Cabbage Patch  
Kids, flower prints, the macarena, Speedo's, needle point, tic-tac-toe,  
angry Italians, Lil' Feet's attitude problem as well as his wierd ass need 
to be so overpowering to a female as small and delicate as I am, standing 
in line, Steven Segal, parking violations, "you know you're a redneck 
if...." lists, entry level employment, pseudo intellectuals, coffee shop 
poetry readings, organized religion, alarm clocks, people asking where 
"Norwegia" is, college radio, telemarketing, bee hive hairdo's, lawnmowers, 
barbed wire, paper and plastic, pennies, Barry Manilow, crock pots, dorm 
rooms, family get togethers, gauze pads, jalapenos, bobby pins, NyQuil, 
long distance phone companies, crimping irons, smiley face boxer shorts, 
rose tatoos, 12 hour shifts, Menudo, pissy senile old people, abstractions, 
packing and moving, "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes, any book 
that Fabio adrons the cover of, papercuts, Mentos comercials, useless 
college degrees, butt floss, corduroy, No. 2 pencils, Weezer, anger 
therapy, Justin Fowler (by request) and anything deemed "cute". 

- Wednesday 

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