Fucked Up College Kids File 403

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Fucked Up College Kids

 · 26 Apr 2019

  

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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   = 
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				joy 
                                --- 

	a slick sly motherfucker looks me up and down, says 
	'hey baby, lookin good' and i feel like a ham on a 
	hook in Joe Schmoe's butcher shop. his leer yawns 
	like a chasm, and disgust twists in the pit of my 
	gut. whip me, hurt me, make me bleed. that's all i 
	am good for. i look down at my scuffed black boots, 
	the hole in the knee of my leggings, the worn flannel, 
	(hey baby, looking homeless) and wonder how far i have 
	to go to look unlovable and totally leavable. 

	i type inanely (make install) and crawl around on the 
	floor (which patch panel does this fucking thing 
	plug into?) and growl at the insane howl of my pager 
	(BOGUS! Build failed!). do this, do that, can i 
	lick your boots mister, and would you like that in 
	perl or /bin/sh? i picture pools of blood forming 
	in the cracks between the keys of my keyboard. 

	i think i am having a nervous breakdown. 

	(where is your entourage?) she asked me while she 
	poured my grande' non-fat latte. yeah, my fucking 
	entourage, only she doesn't know that i have 
	two of them. i glance over my shoulder and there 
	is no one there, but i can feel them piled up 
	on my back like a demon orgy out of a Stephen 
        King novel. (they are on vacation) and i smile 
	and sip my latte, but a tear gathers in the 
	corner of my eye. 
	 
	dark grey days are my style. a day like today 
	makes me feel like my soul is in tune with the 
	weather, and i want to thank god for noticing 
	me. (please sir, can i have some more?) 

	i am having a nervous breakdown. 

	having a nervous breakdown #!/bin/sh patch panel 
	annexes coffee bills too much too soon too young 
	glowing angel want to go to him please sir can 
	i have some more and while you are at it can you 
	make more feel more worthless cause i think i  
	slipped and had self esteem for a second there 
	and i want to sleep for days in a cool room 
	break shit while people who do not love me 
	point and laugh the world is spinning and dear 
	god how i love this shit 

	yeah. a nervous breakdown. 

	demonika 

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