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Fucked Up College Kids File 337
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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the rose and the bloodgarden
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i often think of myself as a rose, especially
when my inner companions sing their sweet hell
music softly within the white tissues of my
mind. a rose is pure perfection mottled by
wicked thorns that jab the tender places. this
is what i do. this is who i am.
[ 2 of me. & they weep. ]
i hurt the ones i love. i have two halves. one
is loving, passionate, generous. she is known
by her own name, and those who love her are
fools. the other side is heartless and cruel.
she has no name, but she is in control. bloody
words escape from the cage in her mind, and
they cut others without mercy.
[ white & blood dripping. ]
i know others like me. i smile tenderly at
them when they describe their inner agony.
i offer words of comfort, though the advice
i give is hollow. once i received the same
advice. ( it will pass, things get better,
life is too wonderful to pass up. ) i hated
the givers. theirs were lives of beauty and
normality. no demons spoke to them of their
dreams. no images of violence and hatred
disturbed their thoughts. only sweet solace.
i wanted to kill them for it.
[ 2 roads & i took.. ]
i used to find meaning in the words of the
great poets. one could say that i am a
successful young woman carving her place in
a man's world. those who know me are amazed
that i am alive. neither understands me.
it is just as well. insanity cannot be
understood by the sane. tell me, would you
dance with the devil if your own choosing?
[ bloodgarden ]
i live in a bloodgarden, where i can
appreciate the beauty of the rose, but i
cannot keep myself from pricking my skin
on the thorns. for i find more joy in the
pain than in the purity. perhaps you are
reading these words and cannot understand
them. be grateful if this is so. i would be.
[ scribbling, bibbling, bibbling, scribbling.. ]
mozart - amadeus
Palpable Obscure
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