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Fucked Up College Kids File 405
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Why Do I Hate You So Much?
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"What did I do to make you hate me so much?" You've asked that
question at least 100 times. But the question isn't completely
accurate, because you know damn well what you did. What you want to
know is "Why did I react the way I did?" In other words, "Why do I hate
you so much?"
First of all, let me get things straight. It's not you that I hate, I
love you with all my heart. I don't hate you, I hate what you did.
You managed to hurt me more than I've ever allowed any other human
being to do. You pushed me over an edge that no one else has ever been
able to push me within a mile of. That's what I hate.
But I can't do anything to change that. I can't do anything to
anything that you've done. But you know that I'm a vindictive person.
You know that anytime that anybody does anything to hurt me or piss me
off that I strike back, that I force them to suffer twice as much as
they made me suffer. You knew that before you never said you loved me.
You knew that long before you lied.
I can't do anything to what you did, so I target the next closest
thing. I target you. Directing my hatred at what you did would
accomplish nothing, but by directing it at you, I can see the results.
I can see the pain. I can see the tears. And I like it.
I like it because now it's my turn. My turn to make you suffer as
much as you made me suffer. To hurt you like you hurt me. To make you want
to die.
The only thing that I can do to make myself feel better is to break
you. And one night it finally happened. I pulled you over the edge
with me and you finally felt all the pain and the fear and the
devastation that I felt.
Did I feel better? Yes. But I wasn't happy. Because the only thing
that made me happy was you.
Yes I wanted to wrap my hands around your throat and squeeze until
your flesh turned a pale shade of blue, but I also wanted to wrap my arms
around your waist, gaze into your eyes, and tell you I loved you.
But you took that love away. And so, since I couldn't be happy, I
decided to make you miserable as well.
So now you know why I hate you so much. Now you know why I'm so
"mean" to you. It's because I love you so much.
-InVerse
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