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Fucked Up College Kids File 457
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Lost Children
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Dedicated to Michelle,
and any others out there who want their childhood back.
Why do we have to grow up? Why do I have to worry about whether
or not I'll be able to get a job when school is finished? Why do I have
to put away the toys and friends of yesterday and embrace a cold, racist
future? Why do I have to worry about more than "playtime" and cartoons?
I wish not to grow up. I can always say that I am a child at
heart. I can play with my younger cousins, and the children of my older
cousins. I can watch cartoons, and "play". But I am not a child. I have
to worry about not getting lost in a sea of mindless drones who go to
work everyday. I have to worry about looking in the newspaper every
morning to see the greatest minds of our generation dying. I have to
worry about death, and whether I will die alone. I have fear, and others
have prejudice. I am no longer a child.
I spent my childhood, in fact, worrying about school, and tests.
I worried about disappointing my parents, and being friendly to
strangers". But if I had never been kind to a "stranger", I would have
no friends. I have to worry now about whether my friends will go to jail
some day, and whether my friend has died when he does not return home at
night. I have to worry, and I cannot relax. I cannot truly take a "nap"
because I find no true rest.
I spend money on Christmas presents because I want to. But there
was a time when I would only receive presents, and that was fine by me.
I want to return to that care-free state. And because some children get
nothing on Christmas, I am lucky. I do not feel lucky. I feel like I was
robbed of my childhood, by ignorance and shame. I feel like I was not
truly allowed to be friends with everyone that I could've, because they
might not have liked the sneakers I was wearing, or because they were
too afraid to talk to people. I am sick when I realize that while I was
doing "homework" which I have, to this day, found no use for, I could've
been playing a sport, or making new friends. I look at my entire
so-called "childhood", and I realize that it was training - work
designed to ready me for the shithole the world has become. And I want
to abandon the "civilization" that surrounds me, with its shootings and
self-abuse. I want to return to the animal world from which we came,
where animals fought only for food, and there was relative peace. Sure,
there would be some small conflict, but I wouldn't worry about having
the flesh torn from my bones by a bomb that my own ignorant race
developed.
I had no true childhood, and yet, I had a better one than some.
I am sickened by my society.
A society that we will inherit,
that we do not want.
Anarchy
AoC - Agents Of Chaos - The Digital Mafia
http://www.disembodied.com/agentsofchaos/
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