Fucked Up College Kids File 238

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Fucked Up College Kids

 · 5 years ago

  

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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   = 
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                        The Blood in My Veins 
                        --------------------- 

     I walk the older streets, listen to the chorus of all these diseased  
machines that people don't see, big iron ones that have done their work for  
years without service because they're not paid attention.  It's easier to 
think that way, get lost in that drone, you don't have to process the storms 
of information that the people you see tend to throw at you unintentionally.   

     Things happen all around.  Old man on the corner, his eyes seem to roll  
back into his head, radiating the idea that he's been through more than 
anybody else, and because of that, thought about everything more, even though 
in our heads we've all got the same bullshit that we think is so important 
we've just got to preach it to the world.  Some kids sitting cross-legged in 
a circle, passing the time with talk that's so basically human and old that 
it's almost silence.  Fourteen different logos fighting to catch my eye at 
once, each unique in the same way. 

     Of course, my mind isn't onto all this shit, just my eye, but I'm not  
thinking about anything anyway.  Just walking.   

     Without my lover I would be bitter, angry, because the most beautiful  
people I'd known in my life were all unable to communicate their minds.  They 
had lost the desire to communicate, and sought simply to learn for themselves.   
I blamed the system, before.  Not the system as in government, society,  
whatever, but the actual structure within the apparent chaos of 'reality'- 
one action followed by a burst of reactions. 

     Now, though, I feel a sort of compassion-apathy for it all.  The 
constant state of change in an individual layered on top of the lack of 
motion in the big picture.  The world is a slow-motion time machine, and I 
am its muted observer, interested only in outcomes and never their 
ramifications.  Life's not unfair, it's just the way it is. 

     I'm still walking through all of this, ideas transforming, combining,  
mating in my head, ideas my actual self is not responsible for, my body and 
soul reaching a state of euphoria.  The entire mass consciousness is laid 
before me the way a turkey would be set out on Thanksgiving.  My five senses 
sculpted into a perfect unity.  Time is passing, but I'm not moving.  Not a 
muscle, not a neuron. 
                
     Then, without a word of goodbye, in a single instant, my lover leaves my  
mind and my veins.  The places she had caressed me turn to wounds, and I am  
left, blind, under the sun that I know will kill me.  And I still hear the  
wailing of these diseased machines. 

-rb. 

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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc...   = 
= Internet : jericho@dimensional.com                 (Mail is welcomed)   = 
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=                  gote land            +27.31.441115                     = 
=                  Arrested Development +31.77.3547477                    = 
=                  Global Chaos         +61.2.681.2837                    = 
= Chemical Persuasion  203.324.0894    Undrgrnd Indust/Inc. 207.490.2158  = 
= Damnation            212.861.0580    Damnation -Toll Free 888.803.8490  = 
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= Dungeon Sys. Inc.    410.263.2258    Psykodelik Images    407.834.4576  = 
= Paradise Lost        414.476.3181    Black SunShine       513.891.3465  = 
= underworld_1995.com  514.683.1894    Digital Fallout      516.378.6640  = 
= PSYCHOSiS            613.836.7211    Bad Trip             615.870.8805  = 
= Plan 9               716.881.3663    suicidal chaos       718.592.1083  = 
= Damaged              801.944.7353    The Death Star Bar   805.872.3151  = 
= Purple Hell          806.791.0747    BloodNet             901.872.8615  = 
= Atrocity Exhibition  905.796.3385    Phoenix Modernz      908.830.8265  = 
= The Keg              914.234.9674    that stupid place    215.985.0462  = 
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