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Fucked Up College Kids File 179
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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School Today
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This was bounced to me via several mail lists, and other net addresses,
so I don't know who to credit for this one.. enjoy.
Kids say the darndest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with
that, because they keep journals of amusing things their students have
written in papers. Here are a few examples:
- The future of "I give" is "I take."
- The parts of speech are lungs and air.
- The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosqitoes.
- A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the
population.
- Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
- (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
- A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never
set foot.
- The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
- A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then
forcing it through an aviator.
- Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
- The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 oppossums.
- The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top
and you sit on the bottom.
- We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk
from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
- One on the main causes of dust is janitors.
- A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly
constipated authorities.
- One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
- To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it
drips into the throat.
- The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
- The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
- Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious
feelings.
- The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top
and plural at the bottom.
- Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
- The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the
other.
- In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
- Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
- In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to
Utah.
- A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the
winter.
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