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Fongu 03
yeBBA DA bLEWMIE
SNOOPY DEWDY WOODPECKER!
KiLLIE BLEWPIE BLoOPIE
FUCK YEWBIE NEWBIE
rEADBLIE FONGUBLIE
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.. dis l0ad of crizzap ' done by fractal of fire .a@$ý `ý$
-----------------(I WANT MY FUCKING DR. PEPPER AND DING DONG)----------------
It's been some time since fongu issue 2. I apologize for the delay,
been distracted a lot recently. I know, an apology doesn't solve everything,
so here's my offer for you to accept my apology... I've bared my soul in the
last 2 fongus... the least I can do is... bare myself for you guys...
Man <sniff> you guys mean a lot to me...
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I know this doesn't look good...
"I look better in real life" - Internet lie since '52
But... uhm, the polaroid wasn't working right... yeah, that's it..
yeah... dAMN poLAROID CAMERAZ!@# STEWPOR cHINKORZ, YEW cANT mAKE cAMERAZ
rIGHT, bITCHOR!@#%
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"hello"
by - mogel
fongu really sucks.
i hate to state the obvious, but just in case you were kicked in
the head one too many times, i wanted you to know.
there.
you can thank me later, fuckface.
- mogel
-----boyee fun fun more masturbation. yes yes--------------------(mro)-------
Forget baseball. I've found a new pastime. I do it as much
as possible. I am pleased to say I am addicted to this
event. It rules my life. I am about to go to a #WOA meeting,
but first...!@#$%^&*!#!#$!$@, AHH Yea, Done. Now lets go to
the meeting...
*** MrOctober (catfish@mail.ee.net) has joined channel #WOA
*** Topic for #WOA: Wh4ckin' oPH Anonymous
*** Topic for #WOA set by WOA on Fri May 3 20:48:52 1996
*** Users on #WOA: MrOctober @WOA
(WOA) Hello MrOctober, Welcome to #WOA. The Channel for those
addicted to Wh4ckin' oPH.
*** Wh4ck (jack@whack.oph.univ.edu) has joined channel #WOA
(WOA) Hello Wh4ck, Welcome to #WOA. The Channel for those
addicted to Wh4ckin' oPH.
(Wh4ck) Sup??
(MrOctober) Sup dewds? I am a Wh4ckoholic :)
(Wh4ck) I am too, MrO :)
(WOA) That's kewl guys, you've cum to the rite place :)
(WOA) Fellas, tell me, where are some of the places you
masterbate?
(MrOctober) I wh4ck oPH in the shower, my bed, my parents
room, and once in the dog house
(Wh4ck) I masterbate in my room, the laundry room, at school,
and at my grandma's house
(WOA) MrO: Describe the time you wh4cked oPH in your dog house
(MrOctober) Well, once I was going to give my dog a bone, heh
no a milkbone :) Anyways, I went into my dog house
and saw a neighbor sunbathing...The site of her
boobs popping outta her suit gawt to me..I had to :)
(WOA) heh, I've masterbated when I saw my neighbor in a
bathing suit before too :)
(WOA) Wh4ck: Tell us about your time in the laundry room
(Wh4ck) OK, well once I went to the laundry room to get some
socks. Well, I spotted one of my mom's bras. I
didn't kno my parents were that kinky. The bra was a
silky, see-thru, you know the kind men dream about
(Wh4ck) Anyways, I instantly gawt a stiffy when I saw it...I
put it on and after a while, I was finished. I didn't
have anything to wipe it oPH with and well you kno the
sox I went down to get...They were once again dirty :)
(WOA) heh, thats kewl man
(MrOctober) wh0rd wh4ck :)
(WOA) Have y'all ever been cot?
(MrOctober) Yeah...once
(Wh4ck) nope never, I always make sure no one is around...If I
do it at skewl, I lock the restroom door
(WOA) MrO: How did you get cot?
(MrOctober) Well, I don't have a VCR in my room, and I was
incredibly horny that day...Well, lemme tell ya,
Rite before that I was watching Saved By the
Bell. Damn...Kelly was looking hot that day
(WOA) Yeah...Kelly's awesome
(MrOctober) OK, so I reached under my mattress and gawt out my
porno..."Candi Does Columbus" and tewk a trip to
my parents room
(MrOctober) I began to wh4ck oPH and really started to get
into the grate flick, especially when Candi was
taken sum up the ass :)
(MrOctober) I was getting ready to squirt, when I heard someone
comin' up the stairs...I thot I was close to being
done, but apparently nawt...
(MrOctober) To my suprise my mom walked in. I was so
embarrassed All she said was "Dammit, why are you
doing this shit in my room?" I think she
understands how the teen, male hormones werk :)
(MrOctober) Nuthin' else was said...So I jest picked up my
drawers and went back to my room and tewk out my
February Issue of "Mr. Pleasure"...and I finished
what I had started in my parents room
(WOA) Yea all teenage guys wh4ck oPH :)
(WOA) This meeting is coming to an end...Thank You all for
your time, have fun wh4ckin oPH tonite...Here's a little
souvenir to help you...
*** DCC SEND (BigBOOBS.gif 1169) request received from WOA
*** DCC GET connection with WOA[206.32.39.3,4254] established
*** DCC GET:BigBOOBS.gif from WOA completed 0.0009766 kb/sec
(WOA) Bye Guys
(MrOctober) Bye, and thanx for the pic...It'll cum in handy
if you kno what I mean :)
(Wh4ck) Bye :)
*** Signoff MrOctober (:DreaD: Wh4ckin' oPH)
--chink0rs can masturbate too-----------------------------------------3t-----
<ewheat> hey
<digital> hey
<ewheat> hey
<digital> hey
<ewheat> hey
<digital> hey
<ewheat> hey
<digital> allright.
<ewheat> hey
<digital> start now.
<ewheat> hey
<digital> uhm, stop.
<ewheat> hey
<digital> dAMMIT, STOP
<ewheat> hey
<digital> OkAY, YEW WANT ME TO SAY IT?
<ewheat> hey
<digital> aLLRIGHT, i'LL SAY IT
<ewheat> hey
<digital> FINE, I'LL SAY IT... EYE GOT A LItTLE DICK.
<ewheat> oh, okay woah i phear...
<digital> finally... allright.
<digital> gewd, phear mah kung-fu chinkor irc-haxor skillZ
*** digital is now known as LiuKang
<LiuKang> yayayayayayyayayayayayaya
* LiuKang pulls out his small chinese dick ... and does nunchuck shit wif it.
* LiuKang spins around and stuff or whatever and kicks ewheat's head off with
+ the small chinese dick.
*** LiuKang is now known as digital
.--[Whois]------[digital]--- - -- -------- -- -
| address : digital@millennium.stealth.net
| ircname : Shrihari Pandit
| channels : @#nyc @#EU-Opers @#Chinese_prostitutes_who_scrub_your_backs_for_
| +ten_cents_pheaR! @#WIN95HACKERS
| server : ircd.stealth.net ([ircd.stealth.net] Stealth Communications, USA)
| operator : digital is an IrcOP
<ewheat> WOAH, EYE PHEAR THAT!@#% YEW GOT THE ZERO DAY XXXKOMBAT.IRC?! I
+ PHEAR YEW NOW SHRIHARI-hARI-KIRI BOYEE!
<digital> huh?
<ewheat> are you chinese or indian or... whatever the fuck?
<digital> I AM NEITHER, I AM _AMERICAN_!@#
<ewheat> African American?
<digital> AMERICAN DAMMIT.
<ewheat> uhm. Americans are white ppl. Are yEW WHITE?
<digital> I'M AN AMERICAN!
<ewheat> YEAH, WORDUP! WORD TO DA HITLER PEEPLE!@#%
<digital> I dont like hitler.
<ewheat> dew you like Ho Chi Minh?
<digital> oh GOD YES, EYE GOT ZERO DAY PoRN OF HO CHI MINH! EYE GOT A
+ PHEARIOUS ONE WHERE HE HAS NOODLEZ ALL OVER HIS DICK, OH GOD, OH GOD!@#%
+ OH gOD
<ewheat> well, who cares, eye g0tz 0n3 where he has n00dlez uP hiS AZZ!@#%
+ yAY! PHEAR ME NoW!@#%
<digital> YOU HAVE THAT? OH MY GOD!@#%!@#% EYE WILL GIVE MUH LEFT NUT FOR
+ THAT, PHeAR!@#%
<ewheat> eye will give yew the porn only if you give me a o:line.
<digital> uhh uhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhh... let me think.
<ewheat> ooh ohoh you want that hot anus dontcha?
<digital> yEZ! eYE WANT IT!@#% bUT laRZ wILL bEAT mY ASS IF I gIVE yEW
+ a o:line, <sob sob>
<ewheat> s0rry.
<digital> <sigh> it's allright, when it'z n0t 0-day anymore, yew hafta give
+ it to me, okay?
<ewheat> woah, okay, phear... but lewk at me now, phear my irc ninja skillz.
*** ewheat is now known as digchink
<digchink> HEY LEWK AT ME I'M a CHINESE COCKSUCKER, PHEAR, LEWK AT ME. CHING
+ CHONG CHING ChoNG, WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA, I EAT RICE, PHEAr.
<digital> Not funny.
<digchink> WHAT? NO UNDERSTANDO ENGLISHSKI, EYE WANNA SOYBEANO AND DR PEPPER.
<digital> Not funny.
* digchink pulls out his small chinese whopper and does like... beating off
+stuff with it, aciddentally sprays the jizz in his eyeZ, phEER.
<digital> DAMMIT STOP THAT, THAT'S NOT FUNNY <CRYING>
<digchink> WOKKA WOKKA CHINK CHONG CHING, HIROSHIMA! WOKKA! A-BOMB, WOKKA!
<digital> I'M TELLING YOU, STOP THAT, OR I'LL HAVE MY MOMMY CALL YOUR MOMMY!
<digchink> MOMMY MOMMY WOKKA WOKKA!@
*** Signoff digchink (Killed (digital (eYEM GONNA TELL MY MOMMY!!!)))
-- uhm... m0o?! -----------------------------------------------(by spook)----
ok guys.. i've writin a lot of funny stuff in the past for zines and mags,
but now it's time for me to get serious and write about something that has
been troubling me and my friends for awhile now..
mad cows disease..
now now.. don't start laughing.. i'm very serious.. this virus affects all
of us in some way or another.. especially me and my fellow cow fucking
community.. yes that's write.. we are a big family... whether anyone admits
it or not.. we all fuck cows from time to time.. it's ok to stay in the
closet.. but some of us choose to admit it...
I, spo0k, fuck cows..
there.. i feel much better... and now.. back to the article..
mad cows disease seems to be the aids of cows.. and yet the symptoms are so
much worse.. I would rather be dead than to have a shriveled little purple
dick like i have now.. yes mine is purple.. some turn green, some turn red,
mine is purple.. don't laugh at me.. i'm very sensitive about it..
mad cows disease was first introduced by good 'ol honest abe lincoln.. who
was the first president to openly fuck cows in the white house.. he came to
his medical staff complaining of a slight pain in the anus, as well as orange
urine and a small, shriveled, yellow dick... when asked about it later, abe
did admit that his dick was small, shriveled, and yellow before he started
fucking cows, but that's not important... doctors, finally diagnosing the
disease, wanted to call it the abe lincoln cow fucking disease, but later
shortened the name to mad cow disease...
now people, when you are fucking your cows.. please, PLEASE use a condom..
it's the safest way to avoid this terrible disease.. for those of us (myself
included) who like to lick your cows anus repeatedly, i have found that you
can even put a condom on your tongue, and that keeps the disease out of your
body..
in closing i would like to say that everyone fucks their cow... it's nothing
to be ashamed of, don't worry about it.. if you do it and you don't feel
right, it's perfectly normal.. just remember.. everyone does it.. and PLEASE
for the love of god use condoms.. i don't want to spread this disease anymore
than it allready is..
thank you
spo0k
[--- phEAR the mALCOLM-X st0RY ------------------------------(ewheatb0y)---]
<by the way... I've found it fun to write stories about ascii pictures...
if you want your ascii picture to be a story here... email it to me...
mturevon@freenet.columbus.oh.us aCK!@#% aSCII PICTURES NOT LOGOS, YEW hARE
bRAINED hAMSTER peWPEr>
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NAME IS LOU! wHAT'S YOURS! mY FAVORITE DRINK IS KEWL-AID! GRAPE!
<me> <eYE tHOUGHT hE WUZ sOME pERVERTED cHRONIC sIcKO, bUT eYE DONUT CARE!>
HONEY EYE CAN BE ANYONE YOU WANT, wHAt wOULD yOU LIKE to PLAY? mUH FAVORITE
DRINK iS YOU! tEEhEE!
<lou> I WANT TO PLAY DUCK DUCK AND GEWZE! IT'S FUN! MY MOMMY AND I PLAY
THAT ALOT!
<me> HONEY, I LIKE THE GOOSE PaRT, lETZ pLAY! tEEHEE!
<lou> oH, bY tHE wAY, wHY DEW YOU HAVE "aCID" aBOVE yER HEAD? aND WHO'S
tHIS kHz<acid> gUY? iS hE a NICE PERSON?
<me> h0n3y, 3y3'm iN ACID, EYE dRAW FOR 'EM aND YES, kHZ iS NICE, HE'S MUH
pIMP.
<lou> oH, OKAY, lETS GO!
--------------?
aFTER THAT WEIRD TALK THINGY EYE HAD WIF HIM, WE WENT OVAH TO HIS
HOUSE AND HIS MOMMY WAS THERE! hOW kINKY! tEEHEE! wE sAT DOWN aND HE TOLD
HIS MOMMY ABOUT mE!
--------------?
<lou> mOMMY, LOOK EYE MET A NEW FRIEND, hER NAME IS hEWKER.
<mom> hOW niCE lOU, iS sHE yOUR pLAYMATE noW?
<lou> yeS, mOMMY! hEWKER, wHY DONTCHA tALK?
<me> tEEhEE, sO lOU tELLZ mE you GUYZ pLAY pHEARIOUS dUCK dUCK uND gEWZE?
<mom> wHY YES! IT'S LOU'S FAVORITE GAME!
<me> oH, eEZ tHAT SO? aLLRIGHT, lOU lETZ gO aND pLAY!@#%
<lou> bUH BUH MOMMEE *kISS kiSS*
<mom> bYE lOU *kISS kiSS*
--------------?
tHEN wE wENT tO HIS rOOM.... deRRRR...
--------------?
<me> hEY, wOULD yOU LIKE ME TO TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF, cmHERE eYE'm wET fER YEW!
yEW aRE sO sEXY, cMhERE cOWBOY, rIDE mE lIkE a hORSIE
<lou> eEEW, gEWRLZ aRE gROSS!! eWWWWWWW!
<me> wELL, eH? eXCUSE ME?
<lou> tHEY aRE gROSS, eYE dONT lIKE sNATCHES. sNATCHES sTEAL pURSES aND sTUFF
sNATCHES aRE fOR mEAN pEOPlE!@#%
<me> wELL, eXCUSE mE, eYE DONT hAVE a sNATCH, EYE hAVE a dIXOR lIKE yEW dO.
sO, PHeAR!@#%!@#%
<lou> rEALLY? YOU DO?!@ YAY!!! WE CAN REALLY PLAY NOW!! YAY!!!!
--------------?
dEN eYE sHOWED hIM muH bIG THINGY
--------------?
<lou> wOW, tHAT reMINDS mE oF BIG bIRD!@#
<me> mUH dICK lEWKS liKE a bIRD?!@#5
<lou> nO, eeTZ tHE "bIG" PART, teE HEE HEE HEE!
<me> oH, dANKE yEW... wELL, lEMME sEE yERZ!@#%
<lou> wELL, EETZ noT mUCH, bUT hERE! lEWK aT eET.
<me> w04h, tHAt lEWKZ lIKE bERNIE aND eRNIE!@#
<lou> muh... muH peNIZ iS oRANGE?
<me> nOE, sILLY, yEW hAVe tHAT lITTLE fUNNY hAIR oN tOP oF eETZ!
<lou> <bAWLINg> bUT eEZ tHAt gEWD oR bAD?
<me> eETZ okAY bUT yEW lEWK liKE a wEREwOLF wIF tHAT, h0 h0 h0!
<lou> aLLRIGHt, pHEar muH dIXOR eETz a wEREWOLF, pHEAr EETZ. gRR gRR gRR!!
<me> woAH, sETTLe dOWN tHERE, bIG gUY! dONT lET eETz bITE ME!
<lou> uH oH, sUMFtHIN's WRONG! eETZ pULLING aWAY!
<me> hUH? yEW jERKED iT tEW mUCH dIDN'T yEW?
<lou> nOE EYE DIDN'T, eETZ fALLINg oFF!@#5 aAAH AHHH AHhaHAHA AAAH AAAH!@
<me> aAAH AHAAAAAHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!@#%!@#%
<lou> AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!@#%!@#%
--------------?
tHEN lOU'S dIXOR juMPEd oFF hIS pELVIZ. eETz rAN arOUND tHE ROOM gROWLING
anD sTUFF. "gRR gRR gRR gRR" eYE wUZ fREAKING oUT. eET hAD tEETH aND sTUFF
iT sTARTEd tEW tALK aND STUFF
--------------?
<lou's dixor> hI tHERE, eYe'm mISTAH wEREWOLF bERNIE aND eRNIE sCROTUM hEAD!
<me> wOAH, yEW aRe uGLY!
<lou> hEY, yER caLLING muH dICK uGLY?
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> hEy, eYEm nOT uGLY aND eYE'm
NOT _YER_ pENIS. i aM mUH oWN pENIS, pENISES hAVE rIGHTS tEW! EYE'm sIXOR
oF yEW bEATINg mE aLL tHe tIME aND sTUFF. iT mUSt STOP! oR eYE wILL rUN
aWAY!@
<lou> oH, bOO hOO, eYe'm sO sAWRY! eYE wONT dEW iT agAIN!
<me> wOAH, lEWK aT tHAT. eETZ a taLKINg pENIS!@#
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> yEZ, eYE tALK, aND eYe aLSO
dEW tHIZ! cmHERe yEW sEXY gUY, cmHERe! cMHER! kEWTCHIE kEW!
<me> hEy, wHATJOO dOING tEW mE noW?!@ nOE!@# gITTOR aWAY FROM mUH ANUZ!@#
nOe!@# nOE!@# gITTOR aWAY!@# aAAHH!@# eETZ uP muH ANUS!@# gITTOR oUTTa
mUH aRSE!@! OUT OUT OUT!@# OUT oUT!@#
<lou> woaH!@# eYE'm gITTORING a boNER, oH wAIT, muH dIXOR iS nOT hERE, eETZ
rUNNINg aROUND, dAAAH!
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> pHEAr mEW!@# eYE'm UP yER
aNUZ hOLE!# gRR gRR!@# eeTZ wARM aND jEWICY iN hERE!@
<me> wHy, tHANK yEW, eYe wASH iT wITH mONISTAT sEVEN!@
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> wERd, eYE caN tELL, i JUST
lUB tHAt smOOTH sILKY fEELINg yER ANUZ gOT!
<me> wELL, tHANKS, cOULD yEW gITTOr oUT of muH AZZ tHEN?
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> gRR gRR. oKIE, bUH-bYE
mEESTUH hEWKER aNUZ hOLE.
<lou> hEy, yEW, GITTOR OUT oF HER aZZ, yEW STEWPOR FUXORHEAD!@#%
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> hEY?!@#5 wHOJOO cALLING
sTEWPOR? oKAY, fINE tHAT'Z iT, eYEM lEAVING YOU!@
<lou> oKAY, fINE!@
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> fINE!@#%
<lou> fINE!@#%
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> fINE!@#%
<lou> fINE!@#%
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> fINE!@#%
<lou> fINE!@#%
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> uHm, yEW kNOW eYEM reALLY
lEAVINg, sO, uHM, lIkE bUH-bYE!@#
<lou> fINE!@#%
--------------?
gUH, aND YEAH, aFTER THAT, lOU bECAME lIKE a dOCKTOR!@ hE'Z oN pAGE 103 oF
dA aPRIL fEWL'Z hUSTLER iZZUE... hEZ tHAT nERDY lEWKING gUY tHAT seLLZ THE
pENIZ ENLARGMENT pUMPZ, pHEAR!@# aND mE? uHm, yEAH, eYE fOLLOW mEESTUR
wEREWOLF bERNIE aND eRNIE scROTUM hEAD aLL aROUND dA wURLD aND sTUFF, eYE
hAVE mORE sTORIES oF hIM... bUT, mY moMMY sEZ iTS tIME fOR mE tEW gO tEW
bED, sO, uHM, gEE'niGHT!@
<to be continuted... in further issues of f0ngu... ph34ry>
--------------?
- silly irchaxors... ----------------------------------------(by thclone)----
Capture file opened 21-Jun-1996 10:03p
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
.[thclOne]. So how long have jew been an ereet irc hax0r for?
.[DrWizard]. I'm n0t full tyme irz haxor nymore
.[thclOne]. So you are part time eh?
.[DrWizard]. Yeah
.[thclOne]. Why not full time anymore?
.[DrWizard]. I was since 10 munthz ago, now i do haxing and stuph, no irc
haxing anymore...
.[DrWizard]. Ya see, a few months ago i was at this gay bar, Choices, and i
started talking to this guy Bill....We started a relationship
some anal sex here and there..i found out he was on irc too...
.[DrWizard]. His name on here is piker...don't tell anyone though...this is
private...well he learned that i had stolen a password file and
i got busted...i hate that silly little slut
.[thclOne]. So, what kind of haxor are you now?
.[DrWizard]. Well...i mostly hack heterosexual channels and take them over...
I also run the bot Habanero in #gaysex...msg him hello some time
.[thclOne]. er.....ummmm...no
.[thclOne]. Well what the fuck is covin? You are in that group...What is it
a bunch of kid haxors?
.[DrWizard]. covin is just a name for a group i joined about 1 month after me
and piker broke up. I went back to Choices and met this cute
little hair dresser Darkfall..he introduced me to covin...they
are a homosexual oriented group so i joined. And we are not kids,
we are just a bunch of faggot "haxors"
.[thclOne]. ummmm...ok...whatever you say there flamer
.[thclOne]. So, like do you covin people ever get together and shit?
.[DrWizard]. Yeah, we mostly get together anally rape each other, stroll about
in dresses, and such each other cocks..
.[thclOne]. Why did you join?
.[DrWizard]. I wanted to be around more faggots on irc.
.[thclOne]. Wtf kind of name is covin?
.[DrWizard]. it's easy silly c.o.v.i.n - cocks on victor's inner nose
.[thclOne]. uhhh.....ok...who is victor?
.[DrWizard]. he is the leader, darkfall, aka victor
.[thclOne]. One last thing i just want you to know....
.[thclOne]. you are the biggest cock loving FAGGOT i have ever met...GO SMOKE
SOME MORE COCK WITH PIKER YOU STUPID FLAMER. I HOPE YOU GET AIDS
YOU FUCKING COCK-IN-ASS LOVING FAGGOT
.[DrWizard]. <sniff>...<cry>...
.[DrWizard]. you made me cry! <sniff>
*** DrWizard has left #ereet.
.[thclOne]. flamer
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Captured file closed 21-Jun-1996 10:21p
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before you read this. A personal friend of mine wrote this shortly before he
disappeared for awhile. Here's the deal. Fahrenheit had to give up his
computer priviligies because of bad grades and strict parents. I hope that he
returns someday, but seeing what's going on here... Hell, I'd be AMAZED if he
even thinks of coming back. Fahrenheit... we miss you. Don't skip as much in
school next year. :)
--+(fAHRENHEIT)+-------------------------------------------------------------
h0h0! wESTSIDE!@# dis is dat nigga fah kickin da actual factual wit ya
bout tha one thing we all don't talk about but we KNOW we do it ..MASTURBATION!
Yes, you heard me, right. I said MASTURBATION(The word just flows off my tongue
like butter) Just picture it, yer sittin at home on a Friday night chattin on
eye-are-see... some guy comes in and says, "HeY i GoT THe NeWeST ACiD PaCK!
aNYoNe WaNT iT?" THERE'S YOUR CHANCE!@# /m acidlama xdcc send #1 ! DAMN GINA!#@
THE PACK IS 2 MEGS!@# What can I do while d/ling it!@? Hrmm, whats this dangly
thing between my legs? Hmm, when I touch these two ball like things it gets BIG
and BEEFY. eYE mOVE mY hAND uP iT aND iT fEELS oH sO goOD!@# dAMMIT! eYE jUST
jIZZED oN tHE kEYBOARD!@# SHIT HAPPENS! We all know we've done it, lets just
fucking ADMIT IT. Whenever I get connected to IRC I just get a big phat BONER
so I need to do SUMTHIN! My cat Fluffy ain't around.. hrmm... I KNOW!@# I WILL
MASTURBATE! IT WORKS!@# Every single time I'm on #nta-nokturnal and I grab some
kiddy porn off of MikeySoft it gets me VERY excited.. hrmm.. /wi ewheat wTF!@?#
uNKNOWN nICK!?@#? shit.. i cant hot chat... i KNOW! <yes you guessed it!@#>
MASTURBATION!@# Dont get mad at me for bringin attention to this subject.. You
know i'm only bein real... But BE WARNED!@# Masturbation causes your pubic hair
to fall off, I know from experience. And when I'm showering after PE.. well..
<sniff> teenage boys can be so cruel... so if yer GONNA WACK IT!@# WEAR A
JACKET!@#
- fahsturbator..
=====================================================
| "8888888",dP"Yb, "888b 888" ,dP""Yb, "88 888 |
| 88 i88 88i 88Y8b 888 i88 """ 88 888 |
| 88888 888 888 88 Y8b 888 888 ssssss 88 888 |
| 88 !88 88! 88 Y8b888 !88 88! !8 888 |
| a88a `Yb,dP' a88a Y8888a `Yb,,dY' `Yb,,d8P' |
| ;*;;;;*;;;*;;;*,, |
| _,---'':::';*;;;*;;;*;;*d;, |
| .-' ::::::::::';*;;*;dII; |
| .' ,<<<,. :::::::::::::::ffffff`. |
| / ,<<<<<<<<,::::::::::::::::fffffI,\ |
| .,<<<<<<<<<<I;:::::::::::::::ffffKIP", |
| |<<<<<<<<<<dP;,?>;,::::::::::fffKKIP | |
| ``<<<<<<<dP;;;;;\>>>>>;,::::fffKKIPf ' |
| \ `mYMMV?;;;;;;;\>>>>>>>>>,YIIPP"` / |
| `. "":;;;;;;;;;i>>>>>>>>>>>>>, ,' |
| `-._``":;;;sP'`"?>>>>>========. |
| `---..._______...| Hormel | |
| `========' |
=====================================================
