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Flodis Issue 09
number nine number nine number nine number nine number nine number nine
[[[[]]] F LLOoO WEErS ooOooOOOOOO f DissSTruTCCTiIOON
][[[[[[f FlloooWWweeeeeeeeRSR FOFO DiS)S))S)TU)U)
[[[]][] fFflooOoOOowoEWwEWerS FOoJF DISUTRUCUTUCUTION
]][][[] fF ll OWOowoO WO SEWERS FOOFO FO OO OoFOO SDfoET!#%!
][]][[]FF fFl L W Ii iw WEeSdr F FOFO DDDD SISITRUCUCUCUTIONONW
[[[]][] FF Fll l WIwiw i W WWWweerrrrSS #%!!!!!!!!!!############
MOTHER GOD TO THE DAMN IT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THE FLOWERS OF DESTRUCTION
GET ME OUT OF HERE, I DON'T WANT TO BE LOCKED IN A ROOM WITH THESE
POTTED PLANTS WHILE THEY TRY TO ATTACK ME
THEY ARE UPROOTING FROM THEIR DIRT
THEY'RE GRABBING AT MY SHIRT
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET THEM LOOSE, THE GARDEN SHOP DIDN'T TELL ME
ABOUT THIS SPECIAL SIDE EFFECT!!
I WILL NEVER BUY FLOWERS OF DESTRUCTION
aaaaaAAAAAAAggggGGGGGGGGGGGGGaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAiiiiiIiiiInnnnn
did you repair your car? did it make you go far? did you travel down
the road, not knowing where to go, til you stopped at a shop, and
bought a lollipop? did you suck on its tip? when i dip, you dip, we
dip? did your tire spring a leak? your suspension need a tweak?
AM I REALLY SUCH A FREAK? WILL YOU KEEP ME FOR A WEEK??
DO YOU HATE ME ALL THAT MUCH?
c'mere give me a hug
QUICK TRANSITION TO A REALLLLY TRUE STORY!!!
[setting: scientific laboratory, late at night. i am obviously waiting
for something big to happen. my only job is to wait for something big
to happen. i drink lots of beer. i have problems. a cute little
fuzzy thing walks up to me]
oh you're so sweet! look at your cute little nose and those brown
eyes. i always liked brown eyes, you know.
"i come bearing a message."
oh! and what is that message, cutie pie?
"the tranciever is getting antsy. they suppose there is an incoming
message."
oh lordy lordy, you cute little BUTTON! wanna be my pet?
"no, not right now. work at solving the mysterious message."
oh, i'll do what ever you say, cutesy pie!
"yes. bye."
bye bye snuffle-luvvle!
ohhh, let's see. transceiver! yeah it's over there.
[movement, i walk over there]
yes, yes yes uhh huh
[i look at thing, point at buttons, press one]
electronic speaker says :
"THERE IS A SUBMISSION FROM NEKO. INSERT IT NOW, INTO YOUR FLOWER OF
DESTRUCTION."
yes, yes i will do that, peter-pie!
====================
=======================
===========================
THIS IS LIFE AS I KNOW IT
transmission from NEKO
================
==========
=======
So I am on irc, right?
And I keep typing /msg tbyted, because my typing skills over a modem
telnet connection tend to kind of suck, and in IRC, it's not like I'm
noticing it anyway.
And then I switch windows and I'm like, "Shit, Tim never got that
message, so I have to retype it."
What a pain in the ass.
So right now I've basically decided to take the route of asking every
girl I talk to for sex.
Well, online anyway.
It hasn't worked yet, but I am keeping my options open.
I haven't had sex since labor day.
It was interesting sex. For about a month and a half I had sex
regularly
with this exchange student. I never wanted to progress beyond sex, even
though she wasn't all that great in bed. I just didn't like her in a
"personality" way.
You know how it is.
Anyhow, at one point I basically just ignored her for awhile to get her
to go away. And then I'd get horny and be all over her again.
And we'd have sex.
And then we didn't have sex for a long time.
Then came labor day.
We were sitting outside smoking cigarettes and then we went inside and
drakn some alcoholic concoction and then we went for a walk along the
bike trail.
After about 5 minutes or so there was a bench on our left. We sat down
and I immediately started making out with her.
She was wearing a tight halter top and a short skirt, so I pulled off
her underwear and bra, and we had sex on the bench.
I am not making this up.
Then we went back to the dorm and she went to bed and I flirted with
this other girl who has the same name as this girl I went to elementary
school with and made fun of all the time and then suddenly surprised me
last spring and told me she had a huge crush on me. So I went out with
her and we made out, but I didn't really feel anything for her. I felt
things on her, sure, but you know how it is.
Anyhow, the first person I mentioned with this name isn't really named
this name. It's her middle name, so she's a liar. And she always calls
me back, well, sometimes, not often, and she'll always be like too
tired to come hang out orr whatever.
This other girl, I didn't talk to for like a year and then yesterday I
emailed her.
Wackiness will no doubt ensue.
Unfortunately, she lives in POrtland. That's pretty silly, I think, but
maybe if I flirt with her over email she will come have sex with me.
Yeah, that'll probably happen.
Just in case it doesn't, though, I posted an ad on
www.classifieds2000.com today.
At the beginning of the summer, this psychic I met outside the AVAIL
(fuck you caitlin) show told me I would meet a girl and fall in love
this summer.
So far all the prospects have been falling by the wayside, so I need to
figure out a way to get new prospects.
I've been up for 20 hours now, and if I stay up all night, I'll be up
for 15-20 more.
THAT IS MY LIFE.
love,
john.
==================================
===========================
=====================
end submission]]
well, see, this is tim here. that was some serious stuff from john. i
talked about some serious stuff in flodis. but right now, stuff is
just so weird, i can't really document it down. or maybe it's all just
so boring that i don't feel it's worth expending energy on. i have a
girlfriend. but we don't see each other much because she sleeps a lot
and she's a person who likes to be alone and stuff. that's not what
love is about. not in my opinion. love is about wanting to spend time
with the person you love. ok, not ALL your time, but still, TIME. and
love is about sacrificing some part of your life for that person.
however miniscule that portion of your life is, it's something. the
whole idea is that then the person you love will also sacrifice a part
of their life for you, so it's like a trade. an even trade of life-
chunks is what makes a good love-relationship, and that's not what i'm
in right now.
but i had burgers and fries from beef-a-roo, so that makes life a hell
of a lot better.
no, not burgers, chicken.
-----------------------------------
end flodis #009
this was a zine for tasha & anjee
this is the first distribution cycle
of flodis #009
soon there will be a second
distribution cycle in which it
will go out to more readers.
more readers can find out about
just exactly how much sex neko
really gets, which is a lot more sex
than every one else in #ezines
combined.
especially more than i get.
but man, last summer at this time,
i remember how much mad sex i got.
there was a hell of a lot of it and
i really do miss it, but someday i
will get a lot of sex again.
-------------------------------------
flodis contact: tim@adkg.com
trilobyte@hoe.nu
neko contact: john@adkg.com
anjee contact: anjee@synthetic-dreams.com
tasha contact: nabner@hotmail.com
mogel contact: mogel@hoe.nu
3-2-1
contact
flowers of destruction :: flodis ::
tell your friends to week their ends with flodis
