Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
Flodis Issue 22
TH
HTEEHER HAVE BEEEN TWWEEENTY OOONEE ISSUESS OF THIS EMAIL ZINE DEDICATED
AND WRITTEN ESPECIALLY FOR ANJEE AND TASHA, THIS IS NUMBER TWEENDTYY TWOO,
AND IT'S A TOILET:::
WANNA DONUT?? THEY SELL THEm!!
THEY SELL THEM AT THE SHOP THAT REQUIRES YOU MUST LOOK AT THE FLODIS FILE
WITH A MONOSPACE FONT OTHER WISE THE DIAGRAMS JUST DON'T WORK OUT, FOOLDIS!
_________________________________________________________________________
_/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~\______/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~\____/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\__
_/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~\______/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~\__/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\__
_/~~~\_______/~~~\______/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\____/~~~\____/~~~\________
_/~~~~~\_____/~~~\______/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\____/~~~\____/~~~~~~~~~\__
_/~~~~~\_____/~~~\______/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\____/~~~\____/~~~~~~~~~\__
_/~~~\_______/~~~\______/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\____/~~~\__________/~~~\__
_/~~~\_______/~~~~~~~~~\/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\__
_/~~~\_______/~~~~~~~~~\/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~\___/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\__
_________________________________________________________________________
flowers of disruption #22 -- 10.09.99 -- by trilobyte
== the zine for tasha & anjee ==
LIKE A YEAR AGO I FOUND THIS NEAT SPIRAL NOTEBOOK AND I STARTED CARRYING IT
WITH ME BECAUSE IT WAS PRETTY NEAT AND I BROUGHT IT TO UNIVERSITY WITH ME
AND ONE NIGHT I WAS IN A COFFEE SHOP AND I WROTE THIS LITTLE DINGY
In the town, there was a man who lived under the street and a man who
lived in a nearby tree. A big subject to debate in the town was deciding
which of these men is more of a victim of distraction. Cars travelling on
the road, of loud, could distract Tree-man from the delicate art of
maintaining perfect balance. Should a loud hot-rod of a car blast by as he
is sleeping on alimb, Tree-man could awaken with a start and lose enough
control to fall off the limb and plummet to the ground.
---==-=-
That was all I wrote.
That was in Champaign, Illinois. I didn't like that town very much. Ever.
-=-=-=-=
Tonight, I wrote another few things in the notebook.
Consider this the Flowers of Harvesting My Garden in the Evening under Heavy
Flourescent Light as a Giant Face of an Ex-Girlfriend Stares At Me from the
Sky While Partially Obscured By Dissipating Clouds.
There are a few things.
-==-=------==--
Summer <-
/ \
Autumn <- Spring
/
\ /
-> Winter ---
This is the cycle of the Seasons.
I realized the importance of each season in the grand scale of How
Things Work.
Then Art added his opinions.
Summer is the time to act without thought of consequence. It's the time
to be radical. [Art: "Fuck everything but what makes me happy!"]
Autumn is the time to work out your Summertime acts in your head. Think
and rationalize. [Art: "Damn, school's fucking starting! (School
generally invovles becoming a *bit* more rational)"]
Winter is the time to rest on the thoughts of fall, just live with what
you have experienced. A conservative dormancy. [Art: "Sit inside and
take comfort from the fact that you're inside and totally warm while all
the jackasses in America are outside, miserable from the cold, and
_pretending_ to have fun."]
Spring is the time to SPRING from the thoughts of Autumn, and prepare to
go wild in the summer. You have your rest from Winter and your thoughts
from Autumn. [Art: "School's almost over, be a carefree motherfucker."]
O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0
If you have a building with a two-door corridor for an entrance -- to
conserve electricity by keeping the climate under control -- there is an
easy way to alert any employees that a customer is entering the premises.
+--| |--+
| O |
| \ |
| \ |
| \ |
| \ |
| \ |
| O |
+--| |--+---------+
| |
| (building ) |
| |
| |
+-------------------+
the two Os are laser modules, and the line between them is a laser light.
if someone walks through the beam coming INTO the building, due to the
angle of the laser beam, the module closest to the outside door would
first lose its connection -- by perhaps a fraction of a second, causing
the device to know that a person is going IN. a person going out would
first trigger the OTHER module, thereby alerting the system a customer was
leaving.
Use it or lose it, freemason.
***************************
POETRY
BY ART AND TRILOBYTE
Art:
Where am I going, what will I do.
Eating your mother's vagina gave me the flu
But I'm not all that blue
I got it from your girlfriend, too.
Tim:
Outraged organs get out of jail
fleeing from oranges that can't be peeled
sometimes another wall is painted
by your face
another pink overcoat
to shield the weather.
Art:
If I was a whale
I'd flair my tail
eat corn on the cob
and play with the incredible Bouncing Bob
YOU ARE A COCKSUCKING WATERLOGGED PIRATE
Tim:
Burn down my roof! Moo as if
a cow! Were we stuck in history?
The window is brown!
IT'S ALL AROUND TOWN!
Art:
Holy fucking christ, it's another poem.
It's not about being raped,
This is not Beowulf
Motherfucka, this isn't a love sonnet
Excalibur was not as mighty as my schlong.
***************************
That's the end of the poetry by Art and Tim.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The lousy drug addict.
The lousy drug addict goes to the movie theater and can't afford popcorn.
He enters the bathroom and goes to a stall to inject drugs into his body.
Once he begins to feel good, and once he is able to walk again, he leaves
the bathroom and finds a seat in back of the auditorium. He shoves his
hand in his pants and allows it to rest there until the movie starts, at
which time he pulls it back out and wipes it on the cloth-backed seat in
front of him. He begins to feel faint and can't focus on the opening
scenes of the film and by the time the movie hits its climax he has died.
After the movie, all other patrons have left and his body is swept out
with all the popcorn and candy wrappers.
...&&...&&...&&...*&*
my carrot.
the tourniquet remains unstable as my carrot dangles restlessly. who is
to blame for the misinformed townspeople invited to witness the strangling
of my carrot? why a public spectable is made of a humiliating event can
be understood in one fell swoop of the swinging bucket of reason:
Smorgasbord.
slaughter of the innocent produce, mandated by the omnipotent mayor and
his illegitimate children. i can back up my claims through evidence of
DNA, but this would prove to be an unwise decision. should i disclose my
evidence, which is in the form of a leather-bound journal stolen from the
desk of "his majesty", i would have a fate far worse than that of my poor
carrot. he had the idea he was safe from such maniacal torture -- most
carrots are -- yet "His Majesty's" wrath has proven itself to be global.
after all, who but such a wry evil villain such as The Mayor would be
driven to throw a Buffet Party on this hallow's eve?
--------------------------------------------------
Last night I went over to your house with a ladder and set it up against
the sunny side underneath your window. I returned today and smoked a
cigarette in the heat of the afternoon, then climbed up to find your
window jammed shut and the drapes pulled closed. I disappointedly climbed
down and my left foot slipped, causing me to fall ten feet to the dirt. I
was not hurt.
I'm leaving this note to let you know that you can keep the ladder, and
for what it's worth, I'm done stalking you.
Regrets,
Bob Newhart
ÕÕª .-.
»ÕÕÕº ª »ÕÕÕÕº Õª ÕÕÕÕÕÕÕª | | this was an
Õª ÕÕ | | honestly bad
»ÕÕÕº ÕÕÕÕÕ | | time-waster
»ÕÕÕÕÕÕÕº | | email-box
ÕÕÕÕÕª ÕÕª »»» | | filler
»º »ÕÕÕÕÕº »»ÕÕºÕº »ÕÕÕÕ»Õº »ÕÕº »»ÕÕÕÕÕÕÕº | | from
.----------------------------------------------------------| | trilobyte
`----------------------------------------------------------`-'
flodis / flowers of disruption #22 / 10.09.99 / trilobyte@hoe.nu
tell your friends to chop some pine with flodis
