Flam 36

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Flam

 · 5 years ago

  

 

	Hello I am AIDS, the puppet made of wood staunch and solid. 
 
Sometimes it is a sad thing to be a PUPPET because you are made of WOOD 
 
and no one wants to kiss you because tehy think you will get splinters in 
 
their lips and you tell them, "No, I am sanded," but they don't listen and 
 
they are worried your wooden tongue won't feel good pressed against their 
 
flesh tongue. I wish I was not made of wood. Being made of wood is a sad 
 
thing and a vile thing and and a not too good thing.  
	 
I want to shout out to my main man vo- "I slept with x" -dka. He 
 
slept with everyone; ain't that just like my heart babe, when you don't 
 
kiss my lips?  
 
	Yeah, so, let me tell you about being a puppet! It sucks! There's 
 
nothing to do and nowhere to go because everything always comes back to 
 
this unenviable position of being crafted from trees. People always want 
 
to pull your strings and make you dance and youj're like "I DON'T WANT TO 
 
DANCE!" but they say "SURE YOU DO YOU WANT TO DANCE! EVERYONE LIKES TO 
 
DANCE! HAVE A PEPSI!" And you say "I DON'T WANT TO DANCE AND I DON'T WANT 
 
A PEPSI!" And they say "EVERYBODY WANTS A PEPSI!" And you know, they're 
 
probably right. Everyone probably does want a pepsi.  
 
	but I'm not everyone. I'm not anyone. I'm a puppet made of wood.  
 
	so I will write for you aobut being made of wood so maybe hte next 
 
time you met a puppet you won't be so mean to him or her! just because 
 
he's made of wood doesn't mean his heart is... actually, it does, but it 
 
doesn't mean that he doesn't FEEL; his wooden heart feels as much as your 
 
own, if not more, wood being a more emotionally connective substance than 
 
flesh and sinew as proved by the great experiments conducted in 1882 by 
 
Lord Alfred Teneyesperson. The unit of measurement for feeling is a kobek. 
 
We might say that the emotion we feel upon viewing a painting by Van Gogh 
 
is 20,000 kobeks while a Basquiat generates 1,000; and as such the level 
 
of emotional resistence found in wood is 100 kobeks, while that in the 
 
emotional tissue of norman people is something like 10,000.  
 
	Anyway, I just want to say that you guys have really been treating 
 
the puppet underclasses pretty badly and I'm sick and tired of it. Iw ant 
 
to be given the due respect and attention that I, as a thinking, caring 
 
being deserve. And that's that.