Flodis Issue 24

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Flowers of Disruption

 · 5 years ago

  

 
it's getting darker earlier and the sun's rising later.  that means less 
light to bounce from you to the sun to the moon to the earth to me, back 
around to you and the sun again.  less light to influence our emotions, too 
little to see the scars and stretch marks.  there's more 
time for the darkness to enter -- time when nature gives not enough light to 
hold *your* interest in keeping your eyes open, when you naturally reflect 
into yourselves --  

but it means more time for *me* to stay out at night, witness the bad 
element, wait for the full moon to blast its cold energy at me with furious 
might.  with eyes open, i absorb it into my times and places, it absorbs me 
as well -- realizing i fucked pee wee herman in female form -- forgetting 
to tell someone that they're violating my personal space 
because they're teaching me something -- teaching me how to avoid my own 
precious will -- teaching me to absorb the full moon's light -- leaving me 
forgetful of where i am.  am i a good listener?  it's what i've been 
trained to be -- shoot your light right into my receptacle -- it's not 
exactly a garbage can, it sort of recycles -- try throwing in a 
chicken.  try a lambchop.  how about some paper?  got a blender?  yeah, 
throw me a howitzer.  spy plane?  shoot it in me, i'll grind it up and spit 
it right back at you -- no, it never gets full, or hasn't yet.. i wouldn't 
want to be around when it does -- don't clog the system, there's something 
that just won't process -- no, shut up, i've had enough -- look out, here 
it comes -- it's 

    FLOWERS OF DISRUPTION                                 #24 
    THE ZINE FOR TASHA AND ANJEE 

and 
 i'm 
  in 
      love with  
       the sound of 
    
    the gri 
nding whipp 
   ing ma  shing me 
tal 
throwing sli 
   cing shards  
of elec tric hate to sub section ed  
                whirlwinds 
whipping mashing 

    metal clink in the orifice tra 
     ding off lover's lane for a 
piece of pie  
  in the sky of chee 
                    se,  
  the moon, 
 the reflec 
      tor on the back of 
my garbage man's truck,  
 driving  
down the street until  

STOP 

or doesn't it?  no, i get hit, ouch! i scream, but i'm really just happy 
inside as i can feel the  

STOP 

there's no blood, blood isn't that important on the grand scale of things, 
because it's really just light that's important anyway.  without light, we 
wouldn't see things, and certainly different kinds of light have different 
smells, and it's never been proven, but i'm sure that the way that light 
particles vibrate is what creates a certain thing called Sound and touch is 
our interpretation of how any grouping of light particles feel -- what are 
quarks?  light.  what is light?  it's the brightness that constitutes our 
existence -- we're not striving for happiness or the solution -- the 
happiness IS the solution, and it's all around us -- just be awake during 
the day, sleep during the night, and it will all figure itself out -- 
what's so beautiful about the night sky, anyway?  the blackness?  no, it's 
the light -- the stars -- without the stars, there would be no blackness, 
we would just see farther until we saw more stars, but 

STOP 

we're too close to the city, the gas stations and restaurants and cars and 
spotlights and bank security cameras and flashlights and parking lots beam 
their energy up into the sky -- it's quite a waste, because i could be 
absorbing it all into my eyes and ears and my nose and feet, too because 
they can feel things just as well.   

                        [but if you just wait a minute we'll 
                clear the earth's atmosphere and get far enough 
                        away that our bumper is the greatest place 
                     to see the glowing beacons of hardcore porn] 

     [is it my hair 
  that smells bad, or  
    my illustrious handjob?] 

                   [i'll tell you 
                what smells bad, it's 
                     that dumb hairdye.] 

   [i washed  
      that out months ago.] 

                 [take it out of  
                  your freezer already, 
                    it's about time for the 
                         embalming.] 

{ { { {    IT'S STILL IN THE FREEZER??    } } } } 

                      {  {  {{     EMBALMING.   } }}}  } 

    i can't believe we were that negligent;  leaving my body in the 
freezer for that long -- i could have died, in fact i was dead, but that's 
something different -- and my friends would come to look at me there, and 
not do anything about the mess, because i was bleeding all over the place 

STOP 

blood is just light, and so is my body.  let's rework that one. 

[ TAKE TWO ] 

    i can't believe we were that negligent;  leaving my body in the 
freezer for that long -- i could have stopped reflecting energy, in fact i 
had almost completely degenerated into an unhuman form of flesh and gore -- 
and my old friends would come to watch my body decompose, and not do 
anything about my unkempt state, because i was running out of any 
willpower.   

    i wanted to sit up from the freezer and just beat my arms upon 
their chests for being such heartless, cold freaks, but i couldn't muster 
up the energy -- it had simply been drained so much by 

    THAT STUPID GUY AT THE TABLE WHO KEPT REPEATING HIMSELF ABOUT 

    or 

    THOSE STUPID GUYS AT THOSE TABLES ALL THE FUCKING TIME WHO KEEP 
REPEATING THEMSELVES MORE THAN THEY CAN EVER REALIZE BECAUSE THEY'VE REALLY 
EXHAUSTED ANY VALUE ANYMORE AND NEED TO MOVE ON AND LIVE A DIFFERENT LIFE 

..EXPEL A DIFFERENT TYPE OF ENERGY 
..ABSORB SOME POSITIVE INFLUENCE 
..FEED THE CHLOROPHYLL OF THE SOUL 
"IT'S MY GREEN MACHINE THAT WASN'T A DREAM" 
    [apples in stereo?!?#@%$] 

    "LICK THE TABLETOP, MAN, IT'S LIKE THE BACK OF ONE 'A DEM TOADS" 
    "I DID ENOUGH OF THAT IN COLLEGE MAN." 
    "WELL YOU'RE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE, LOSER, SO EITHER DECIDE WHAT 
YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE OR KILL YOURSELF." 

    college is the darkest place in the human environment. 
    it is an establishment that institutionalizes the right of people 
to expose as much of their bodies to as much moonlight as possible 
    {and maybe that's why they drink so much beer}. 
    so if you're going to college 
    sit by the window. 
    and if your class doesn't have a window 
    leave right away 
    and sit next to a tree 
    because it will talk to your soul 
    about things that you don't know. 
    because you're not a tree. 
    and your soul and the tree will become friends in the sunlight... 

                        SUN 
                       SUUUN 
                   -    SUN 
       ttt       / 
      tttttt   /      /   | 
      rrrrrrr      /    / 
     eeeeeeee    /    / 
      ee| |ee       / 
        | | 
        | |    you & yer soul 
       #|#|#    you & yer soul 
                 you & yer soul 

    |__conversation___| 
     

as we're riding in the back of that great big garbage truck to the sky. 

                                      ŠÕÕª                 .-. 
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.----------------------------------------------------------| |     trilobyte 
`----------------------------------------------------------`-' 
          flodis / flowers of disruption #2x / 2x.09.99 / trilobyte@hoe.nu 
     tell your friends to mine for theirs with flodis