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Evolution Issue 10
{+ e v o l u t i o n +}
{i s s u e n u m b e r t e n}
{1 m a y 1 9 9 7}
______________________________________________________________________
:(the foyer):
so, kayem's a sped and can't put together one issue a month and ten
days, thusly, I'm taking over again. sorry for the delay (like the
saying goes, if you want something done right...)
in other news, there is no other news - at least as far as
+evolution+ politics and technical noise goes. well, maybe the new
style format, but I change that all the time anyway, so that should
be no big surprise. the web page is still up at
http://www.gweep.net/~zaphod/evo/ if you feel like checking that out,
want back issues, or whatever. write me mail and I might put it up
on the mail page for all to see.
and once again, tell yr friends about +evolution+, since the world of
zines (paper or electron-based) thrives on word of mouth. print
copies for yr technologically inferior friends, and tell them to
write me (zaphod@sidehack.gweep.net) if they want an email
subscription.
______________________________________________________________________
i wish i was strong enough
wasn't so immersed in this
that i cared more about me than i do about you
or about anyone
i want to overcome this
i'm strong enough to conquer other things
the strength _is_ there
why can't i use it?
why can't i just stand up
right now
and talk to you?
now you're doing it again
curled up into a little ball
beautiful as the first time
yr strength
my weakness
i know it can't happen
at least
not like i want it to
but it's stupid that i can't even confront
you
or is it me i'm trying to confront?
my own inner self
the demons in my chest
pounding at me
taunting me
it hurts
fucking christ, it hurts
so much
i want it to stop
but
i
can't
fucking
do
it
i'm weak
i wish someone would
help me be strong.
______________________________________________________________________
:(the patterns will unravel):
this is a song by the fleece, local -
cape cod indie rock hero and savior -
and all-around great guy. it sums -
up fairly well how I feel at the -
moment. -
i think that i will close up shop
i think i'll take the final drop
really learn to use these hands
to help reach out, let it go
they reached out every day
but i always got in the way
see, i've got to fuck it up
just to make sure they don't stay
mother, call me up and tell me eveything will flow
and make me feel like i will know
but all the patterns will unravel
while on the softer stair i travel
let me go
______________________________________________________________________
what about the voice of geddy lee?
how did it get so high?
i wonder if he talks like an ordinary guy..
- pavement, "stereo"
______________________________________________________________________
this is a poem i found taped to the bus
shelter near my skool whilst waiting for
a bus to go to work. it's made up of
little newspaper and magazine clippings,
an effect i cannot readily reproduce in
plain ascii text, so you'll have to
suffer with an imperfect reproduction.
i will do my best to recreate punctuation
and capitilization. hyphens at the
beginnings of lines denote continuation
of the previous line. it has no title.
a filling station's lights glowed into the sky. played havoc with my
- concentration. While waiting out the storm
poets read THE WOMAN'S SOUL then released them into a nearby field
- for their flight
We don't know if she navigates the underwater obstacle courses
they strongly resembled the fossilized imprints of Long Lasting
- Flowers
Memory in a language as yet not understood by humans. you become a
- caricature of yourself
and, suddenly, no way to say ghosts never seem to have Flowers in the
- Snow
We're proud to show tangle inner beauty
the black heart brings power.
describe yourself CROWNED WITH CANDLES
You can see why People in a position of excitement develop a lifelong
- love of reading
and make changes in undisturbed waters of the harbor. by encouraging
- a roar of groans
bridge the gap symbolic space of media is
For the past knows the secret of the pyramid shape.
What is myth and looking
many folks don't seem to realize They love the colorful
- illustrations, under the surface.
speak to a Sunrise reply like Answers for directions
It could save a crowd of people who were waiting huddled in one
- corner, years before they suspect
in your life you rot and die. You're ready for a change.
cosmic conclusions doing nothing
I've never heard theoretical information which cannot be readily
- demonstrated
create a portfolio of digital information the goldfish symbolizes
See The World moving belts something amiss and resume your tour
our roles have changed
change is the enemy continously evolving THE POSSIBLE HUMAN by
- following the instructions
to enhance and streamline the young couple in the automobile
young people today, did not have ear protection
out-of-sync Dreamwork of LED lights crossing mind reached brain
classic romance in the direction of greater authenticity,
a child's love overcome with an unquenchable desire
it's totally pathetic
Among flowers, we may be slightly quirky character traits
send a personal message the winter sun solitude is sweet.
humidity, stands behind what I see
You need not identify yourself -just like a purple onion
Many secrets are shrouded in dance-hall nights Ideal for all
I could do without breathing how we cherish the light radiance that
- breathes from blossoms
______________________________________________________________________
i don't care how punk rock you are
fuck punk rock
______________________________________________________________________
:(indri's box and assorted chartreuse abstractions):
I was reading issue #12 of Looks Yellow, Tastes Red today cuz Colette
sent me a copy along with a very nice letter, and she had a little
article/musing about love and certain things that go along with it,
particularly physical sensations. "I have this terrible pain inside
that I indentify directly with being in love. I am still in love
with this boy but still, of course, it's not like it was those first
few months - when there was all the fear of falling and being hurt
and the mystery of it all." As I read this, a lot of emotions came
back to me concerning my first and so far only foray into the world
of romantic engagements - the joy of knowing I was in love, the
elation when I would see her after the common prolonged absences that
went along with our distance, the fear of falling and it not working
because we were so far away, and the fear of parental rejection
(rejection that eventually led to the demise of our relationship) -
and also memories - standing on a green line subway car with Bryan
and Aidan when they told me, the long train rides home after Saturday
visits, the warmth and innocence as I comforted her in her sickness,
how she felt in my arms that final night before it all fell apart. I
remember this time, a time of confusion and bliss, simultaneous
confidence and total fear, and I realized how special this is. Aidan
and I discussed this one day - it's sort of like pandora's box,
except reversed, so that the box holds all sorts of good things and
one bad thing (that being fear), and when indri's box (as it was
called) was opened, you could never get those good emotions it
released back, you could never again experience that first feeling of
love and total elation.
this was all several months ago, of course, and I feel much
differently about her and myself. I still care deeply for her, but
it doesn't seem that she quite understands that, which often results
in us getting angry at each other over revoltingly stupid matters,
most commonly that we're both quite shy and find it difficult to talk
to each other, so it seems like we're avoiding or ignoring each
other. I don't want this to continue, and I have tried to remedy the
situation as best as my naive mind knows how. I only hope that one
day we can talk to each other as equals and put aside all the
bullshit that's happened between us since december.
no i never took it out on you..
- that dog, "never say never"
______________________________________________________________________
"30,000 feet above the earth.. "
no one touches me
though i want to be touched
no one comes close to me
even though it's all i need
i'm not the innocent one
this time, i'm through
i need it too
just like you
kiss me
don't dismiss me
the weight of the world
the weight of love
i can't carry it
can't carry it alone
______________________________________________________________________
"it's my favourite shot of you.. "
at this time, I would like to encourage some reader participation in
shaping some of the final product that is +evolution+. I want to
write some teen-magazine-like quizzes, so if anyone has a good idea
for a topic for such a quiz, drop me a line.
also, I'm thinking a silly advice section could bring excitement and
fun to +evolution+, however cheesy it is, so if you mail me with yr
problems, no matter how bizarre, I'll pretend I have the slightest
clue about how to wash away yr problems and include it in the next
issue.
none of this can work without yr help, so send in your quiz ideas and
advice today!
finally, as always, submissions of poetry, prose, and general
nonsense are fully encouraged. not only do they broaden the scope of
+evolution+, they take the burden off of me to write 10K of
ramblings about my own stupid life. :)
oh, and if any NRHS people want to write up a little review of the
honky/freak showdown, I'll include that too.
and with that, I'm out5k.. catch you later.
:(duct tape boy):
______________________________________________________________________
{+ e v o l u t i o n +}
{writer/editor/bass frequency generator/messiah : duct tape boy}
{contact +evolution+}
electronic mail : zaphod@sidehack.gweep.net
united states postal service : p.o. box 1631, orleans, ma 02653
telephone : (508) 934-5131
telepathy : think about duct tape for a few minutes
(C) 1997 mono boy comunications / angst communications
