Durex Blender Corporation 012

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Durex Blender Corporation

 · 5 years ago

  

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E  ||==//  \\==// ||   \\ ||==|| ||   ||         #012-AA05 -- [10/21/91] 
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                           To Shave or Not To Shave 
                             ------------------- 
                             by Aldebaran Arghat 

     It was 10 am, and Cathal Coughlin listened to the news on the radio as 
he brushed his teeth.  The top story was a large animal rights demonstration 
against the Gilette Corporation.  The demonstrators were demanding that an 
end be put to the mistreatment of animals, and the use of animals in 
expirimentation. 
     Earlier that day, in the very same city, a small rabbit awoke and looked 
around her. Every day, she found the same cramped cage in the same large 
room.  There was a small sign on the side of her cage which read "Gilette 
Laboratories, Weston PA; Rabbit, white; female (#397)". She stretched, 
turned, and looked into her food container. As usual, a handful of food 
pellets had been put in during the night. She ate the pellets quickly, and 
looked around her. The room was the same as always. Small animals, mainly 
rabbits and mice were held in small cages. There was a strong stench of 
feces, which was sometimes overpowered by the acrid smell of disinfectant. 
     As usual, a young man in a clean white lab coat came into the room with 
a wheeled metal cart.  He checked a list on his clipboard, and began picking 
up some of the cages of the animals and placing them on his cart. The white 
rabbit cowered in the corner of the cage as the man came towards her. She had 
been lucky up to this point; she had not yet been taken from the room by the 
orderly. But today, the man walked over towards her cage, and after checking 
his list, picked up her cage and placed it on the cart with the others.  
     She nervously sat in her cage, as the cart was wheeled out of the room 
and down a long, brightly-lit hallway. The orderly opened another door and 
rolled the cart into a large laboratory. There were two men here who met the 
orderly and took the cages off the cart and placed them onto a table.  The 
rabbit trembled nervously as the two men discussed what the rabbits were here 
for. Today, they would be testing for any harmful effects of an aftershave 
lotion. The rabbit scampered back and forth in the cage as the man put on a 
pair of heavy gloves and opened up her cage. 
     She froze in fear as the man lifted her out of her cage and put her into 
a restraining device on the table. She struggled and tried to escape the 
bonds, but she could not move. She watched as the same was done to some of 
the other rabbits, her heart beating furiously. The two men spoke for a 
moment, and then drew a glass flask out of a cabinet. The flask held a blue 
tinted liquid with a sharp scent.  The rabbit continued struggling as the 
scientists came towards her.   
     One of them forced her eyes open, as the other filled an eye dropper 
with the liquid.  Extreme pain swept over the rabbit as the liquid was poured 
onto her eyes.  She was helpless and unable to stop the pain.  The same was 
done with many of the other rabbits.  The scientists watched coldly as the 
rabbits squirmed and went through spasms of pain.  After five minutes of 
this, the scientists concluded that the formula for the aftershave lotion 
would have altered somewhat, and left the room to write up their reports. 
The rabbits, still in tremendous pain, were taken into another room, and left 
to die. 
     The news report was concluded when Mr Coughlin was just finishing 
shaving.  He opened up his mirrored bathroom cabinet, and took out the small 
bottle labeled "Ultra Aftershave, by Gilette".  He opened the bottle and 
poured some on his hands.  He started to rub the lotion onto his face, but 
then paused.  His mind went back to the report of the demonstration, back to 
the descriptions of the pain and suffering the animals went through.  Then he 
chuckled.  "What a load of bull!  Nobody would do that to an animal just for 
aftershave!" With that, he finished rubbing the aftershave into his face, 
closed the bottle, and walked out of the bathroom. 

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(C)1991 by The Durex Blender Corporation & Aldebaran Arghat 
All Rights Available at the Door. No Reservations. 

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