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Digital Phreak P1mps Issue 05
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/ _/ / _|_______\_ // __// _ \\ _|_______
/ ________/ \_ / / _/ \. / /
/______|____________| ___\_____________________| ___\_________\
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___\__ \ ______ _____ _____ ___________ ______ Dz/a!
/ _/ //_____// \/ \\ _ // /_______
/ ________/ \/ / ___/ /
/______|_____________________/_____________\________________/
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_|_ P H R E A K P 1 M P S _|_
: (___________________________) :
ASCII by Dezibel\Arcade
(-- 30.5.98 --)
(-- Issue 5 -- Volume 1 --)
(-- http://members.tripod.com/~p1mp --)
(-- "Viva digital phreak p1mps" --)
(-- -Taco Bell Chiuahia --)
(-------------------------------)
(-- Hax0ring/Phreaking/Satire --)
(-------------------------------)
/-------------------------------------\
(-=-_DPP members and editorial staff_-=-)
\-------------------------------------/
( Hatredonalog )
( Hatredonalog@hotmail.com -confwh0re )
( Napalmoliv )
( Napalmoliv@yahoo.com - SMARM!@ )
( Sphinx )
( Sphinx@hotmail.com - texas person )
( Dark|||Knight )
(dkknight@texoma.net - i'm a sandwich )
( artist. )
( MMX_Killa )
( MMX_Killa@geocities.com - I'm baack )
( Neptunium Overkill )
(quixilver@mailexcite.com- euber-hax0r)
( Nothingg )
( Nothingg@yahoo.com- a new level )
( Enzyme )
( papa_gorgio@hotmail.com- Huh? What? )
( SovietKGB )
( dmbarr@erols.com - TV repair man )
/-------------------------------------\
(-=-_ffats lairotide dna srebmem PPD_-=-)
\-------------------------------------/
(- -)
|: :|
: :
. .
/-----------------------------------------\
(-- T a b l e o f C o n t e n t s --)
\-----------------------------------------/
(-- --)
(-- Introduction.......... hatredonalog --)
(-- A Hobby For The Bored.... SlapAyodA --)
(-- The Phreaker's pack... hatredonalog --)
(-- Op Diverting and You.. hatredonalog --)
(-- Log of WebBoi19.......... SovietKGB --)
(-- Lord of the FatWare...... SovietKGB --)
(-- co2 bombs................ SovietKGB --)
(-- Breathing is bad....... Dark Cactus --)
(-- The SKGB chronichals..... SovietKGB --)
(-- 5ESS: Research Paper.. hatredonalog --)
/-----------------------------------------\
(-- s t n e t n o C f o e l b a T --)
\-----------------------------------------/
(-- Best Viewed in 800x600 --)
(- juarez free, pr0n free -)
(| made in China by 5 year olds |)
:| for 50 cents an hour. |:
: :
. .
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
prohibitting the free excercise thereof; or abbridging the freedom of
speech or of the press; or of the right of the people peaceably to
assemble, and to petition the Goverment for a redress of grievances"
Under the above Law set forth in the First Amendment To The Constitution
Of The United States Of America, The Author releases this work into the
pubic domain for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY.
Okay, this is for informational purposes only. Understand? That means
you should _not_ under any circumstances do ANY of the things outlined
in this magazine, because they might be illegal/immoral, or people just
might not like you because of it. And you know what? if you do any of
these things... it's not our goddamned fault!! blah, blah, i think you
get the point: We're not responsible for your stupidity.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Introduction
by hatredonalog (hatredonalog@hotmail.com)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Well, it's our fifth (!) issue, isn't it amazing we've made it
this far? Heh, I hope that people will continue submiting articles
and helping us out, so we can keep making issues. This is supposed
to be our Euber-0-day issue or something, so like it dammit.
By the way, go install litestep (http://anandtech.com/litestep/)
and configure the step.rc to fit your needs. Trust me, this *will*
change your life for the better. Well, after you get done reading
this k-RaD 31338 (that is 1 better than 31337) issue of DPP, go write
us a letter telling us one of two things:
a) we are stinky and should stop.
b) that your going to write us an article
If you don't want to do either, then send us some weird letter about
yourself, or spam or something. But before I leave you, I would
like to leave a message with you:
WE NEED ARTICLES. PLEASE SUBMIT. WE CAN'T DO THIS ON OUR OWN FOREVER!
[ding, ding, ding!] <--- Annoying bells for comercial purposes.
We really need articles of the following kind:
1) Hacking -- Any kind of articles... please.
2) Cellular -- These would be nice.
3) Logs -- They're funny, we like them.
4) Phreaking -- Less needed, but still important.
5) Telecom -- Yes please.
If you write any k-rad elite (skalar109, you got me saying this, you will
die.) C code or whatnot GIVE IT TO US!!$& WE PROBABLY NEED IT AND STUFF.
so give us a hand, we need it or something and such. I would like more
technical stuff... it'd be nice anyways.
On a lighter note... I have recently turned into a c0nfwhore. phEEr me or
something.
If you want to find me (hatredonalog) on irc, I usually hangout on EFnet in
#peng (yes, I'm a sysfail fan) as "h0al" or"hoal". Any requests/flames
can be directed towards me: hatredonalog@hotmail.com
Just a Thought...
- hatredonalog
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A Hobby for the Bored
By SlapAyoda (SlapAyoda@yahoo.com)
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Are you like me? Do you like to collect things? Are you running out of
things to collect? Is your room a complete mess full of Alf toys and
collectable Elvis plates? You probably answered yes to all of these
questions, and that's why i'm writing this article. I have recently
found a new hobby, and boy oh boy is it fun! You know those little
laminated dialing instructions on payphones? They are fun and easy to
collect.
Here's how you do it:
1. Go to a payphone
2. Cautiously look over shoulders for swat team waiting to ambush you
3. Pick up the phone and pretend to dial your cousin Roy
4. Carefully pull out the dialing instructions
5. Hang up phone (Make sure to say bye to Roy first!)
6. Walk away
See? Wasn't that easy? Some notes on pulling it out, though. First,
the bottom one usually easier to pull out. Second, if you are having
trouble pulling one out, and you have one already, use the one you
have to pry it out. In my area, Bell Atlantic does not glue these in,
but I have run into a few COCOTS that do.
The best part about this is how many different ones you can get. I
have gotten 11 different ones in the past few weeks. Most areas have a
wide variety of COCOTS, hence, a wide variety of instruction-thingies.
Some companies even have cool logos and shit on the instructions.
Looking for rare ones from different areas? Trade with your friends!
Maybe you'll even get some from a different country. You are really
going to love this new hobby. You'll thank me for it.
- SlapAyodA
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The Phreaker's Pack
by hatredonalog (hatredonalog@hotmail.com)
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This is the phreaker's pack. It is something you should
always, and I mean _always_ carry with you. It will include
all the tools you will need. This is a small guide on what
to put in it, and suggestions for what to include.
Step 1: Pick something to carry it in.
Your gonna need to have something to carry it in. I suggest
a Backpack, a dufflebag, or the like. It needs to look like
an everyday thing, nothing out of the ordinary. You can spiff
it up with System Failure Stickers or whatnot. If your gonna
take a backpack, make it a comfortable one.
Step 2: What to put in it.
First your gonna need your tools. For your small electrical
tools (wire strippers/clips, screwdrivers, ect.) your going
to want a small tool pouch. I use a small vinyl (sp?) one that
is meant for computer repair tools. It is lined with straps to
slide the tools into, to keeps them from moving around.
Here is a small list of stuff to put in this pouch:
Sharpie Marker (trust me)
7/16 in. Hex Bolt driver
Wire cutters
Wire Stripers
Two sided screwdriver (both phillips and flathead)
Alligator Leads
Pliers
5/32 in. Tamper-proof allen wrench (if your lucky enough to have one)
electrical tape (assorted colors)
Exacto knive set
Any other tools you think you need and/or fit in
Next get another pouch meant for holding disks. You know, one of
those small canvas pouches were the inside is lined with pockets
meant for 3.5" disks. Now pull out a small handful of disks, and
get ready to download some stuff. Here is a list of software that
might help you when your in Wal*Mart and you need to h4x0r their
computers.
NT GetAdmin - Gives you Admin on an NT box, only works on 4.0
though, without the patch.
http://ftp.jump.net/pub/mcintosh/Hacks!/
CrackerJack - Cracks Unix Password files
http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/9185
Wordlists for CrackerJack
ftp://sable.ox.ac.uk/pub/wordlists
Windows Keystroke Logger - Runs in the background.
http://www.amecisco.com/ik97v12s.exe
You'll also want to go get l0phtCrack. I don't know where
to get it offhand so find it yourself, or ask around on irc.
Text files or whatnot is also advised, along with a stack of
formatted disks to put stuff on if you need to.
Lastly, You'll also want to throw in a garbage bag to put papers in
if you decide to go trashing on the spur of the moment. Other things
to put in your bag would be:
Your Beige (or a nice telco. test set)
Your Redbox
A small cloth bag (you never know...)
Garbage Bags
phone line polarity/battery tester
spray paint (assorted colors)
small non-powered hand drill
flashlight (the "Snake Light" is ideal)
protective gear (gloves, face shield, kneepads)
digital multitester (or "volt-ohm meter")
A Mini-recorder (hehe)
Latex painting gloves
List of Phone Numbers (test lines, ect.)
That is just a basic list... you don't "need" most of this
stuff, it just makes it a bit easier to get around and do
stuff. You can include any other stuff you may need or want
to take a long, it's up to you. Well, peace out people!@
-hatredonalog
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Op Diverting and You
by hatredonalog (hatredonalog@hotmail.com)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Welcome to the world of Op-diversion. It has nothing to do with juarez.
Period, end of discussion. It is a relatively old phreaking trick, but
many don't know how it works or what they are really getting around, ect.
Okay, now I would like you to perform a little experiment. Pick up your
phone and dial 0. Ask her to dial ANAC for you. Listen to all those
Numbers it reads off... did it say "NO ANI" or "ANI NOT AVAILABLE"? Well,
if it did, then you have sucessfully Op-Diverted.
There are two (2) things you must keep in mind while Op-Diverting. These
are basic components of the 5ESS switch. In my opinion, I shouldn't even
have to tell you, but I guess that is a different thing altogether. These
to things are:
AMA- Automatic Message Accounting. A nice little billing feature of the
E5 (5ess). It records: The calling party (you)
The called pary (whoever you called)
Duration of Call
Time/Date of call
So, Now lets say you dial 0, ask for 18002255288 and get the AT&T operator,
and you tell her your calling from some number in buttfuck arizona, and she
believes you (they always do) and you call a number in texas. The ANI info
sent with the call to texas says the number you gave AT&T. But the AMA tapes
recorded that you called AT&T... thus you still get billed for the call to
texas.
ANI II- Digits sent along with the ANI info, but doesn't get lost when Op-
Diverting. The ANI2 digits tell the operator that your calling from
a certain place, such as a Federal Prison phone, a COCOT, or from a
Home phone line. This is how they know you are calling from a pay-
phone for example.
If you would like a list of ANI II digits go to the OCPP (Ocean County Phone
Punx) and read they're back issues. It's one of them... check out the site at
http://ocpp.home.ml.org
If you would like to test the ANI2 problem, goto a COCOT and dial 0, Tell her
you want to bill a call to the number your calling from and she will respond
with something like "Ma'am/Sir you are calling from a privately owned payphone."
Oh shit you say, they know... ANI2 has beaten you.
So, next time you op divert you will know what is happening and if they can trace
it back to you or not.
- hatredonalog
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Log of WebBoi19 (director's cut)
by SovietKGB (dmbarr@erols.com)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Session Start: Sat Apr 18 19:21:30 1998
[19:21] <WebBoi19> dude, your such an idiot
[19:21] <WebBoi19> do you really want me to go to work tomorrow and cancel your
account?
<WepnDlr> phily isnt gay. i liv in phily
<WepnDlr> u don werk at erolz
[19:22] <WebBoi19> you wanna bet?
<WepnDlr> i bet yer sugar daddy 50$
<WepnDlr> an that isnt the basis of a accout deletion
<WepnDlr> ill just tell erols u r gay
[19:22] <WebBoi19> you wanna bet?
[19:22] <WebBoi19> so what, they already know you prick
<WepnDlr> an that u wanted my #
<WepnDlr> ha
[19:23] <WebBoi19> Resolved 207-172-251-146.s19.as1.loc.erols.com to
207.172.251.146
<WepnDlr> got u there
<WepnDlr> so?
<WepnDlr> ohgno
[19:23] <WebBoi19> no, because you have no fucking clue WHO i am
<WepnDlr> ummmm
<WepnDlr> stevecase?
<WepnDlr> ha
<WepnDlr> ummmm
<WepnDlr> helo?
<WepnDlr> well, anyway, philadelphia PA isnt gay.
<WepnDlr> the ratio of gay to straight people is about 1:150
<WepnDlr> or i meant 1:1500
[19:25] <WebBoi19> bullshit
[19:26] <WebBoi19> 1:10 asshole
(it really is 1:10, (10%))
<WepnDlr> its true- 1:1500
<WepnDlr> heah right
[19:26] <WebBoi19> you lie
[19:26] <WebBoi19> you have no idea
<WepnDlr> 1:1500
<WepnDlr> its true
<WepnDlr> #gayphilly is a false generalization.
[19:26] <WebBoi19> btw: i just emailed my boss
<WepnDlr> Who? yer suga daddie?
<WepnDlr> so?
<WepnDlr> oooh
<WepnDlr> im scared
<WepnDlr> whats my username?
<WepnDlr> huhuhuh?
[19:27] <WebBoi19> couldn't tell you, but if you give me your username, i can
give you your full name, account status, when you signed up, etc.
[19:27] <WebBoi19> but i do have your ip
<WepnDlr> ok
<WepnDlr> Silly1234
[19:28] <WebBoi19> hold on, calling my boss
<WepnDlr> hegh
<WepnDlr> lets see u get THAT one....
<WepnDlr> heah right
[19:28] <WebBoi19> which one
[19:28] <WebBoi19> Silly1234, right?
[19:28] <WebBoi19> Peter.... peter geraldo
<WepnDlr> no
<WepnDlr> WRONG
<WepnDlr> ha
<WepnDlr> no
<WepnDlr> i made it up you cocksucking pig!
<WepnDlr> d:P
<WepnDlr> u want my REAL un? let me find one... i mean let me think
[19:30] <WebBoi19> doesn't matter dude
[19:30] <WebBoi19> i will find it out anywa
[19:30] <WebBoi19> anyway
<WepnDlr> custrel
(custrel stands for customer relations)
<WepnDlr> thats it
(thiz is where he ctcp finger's me)
<WepnDlr> FINGER? EWWWWWWWWW!!! IM NOT LIKE THAT!
<WepnDlr> hey
<WepnDlr> yer gay
[19:31] <WebBoi19> so what?
<WepnDlr> eww get away from me
<WepnDlr> qyuit fingrein me
<WepnDlr> EEW!
[19:31] <WebBoi19> you know, you seem to be the only person making such a big
deal out of it
<WepnDlr> STOP
<WepnDlr> STOP
<WepnDlr> STOP
<WepnDlr> STOP
<WepnDlr> STOP
[19:32] <WebBoi19> big deal, i'm gay, why don't you get over it
<WepnDlr> what? eew!!! im not gonna finger you back
<WepnDlr> ew
<WepnDlr> you gay bastard
[19:32] <WebBoi19> god, i had to accept that when i was 14, why don't you just
get the hell over it
<WepnDlr> whos yer buitt-buddy? stevecase? "Youve got Mail!""
<WepnDlr> (homosexuality is immoral dumbass...)
<WepnDlr> heh... "Dumbass"... heh... seems appropriate for a gay dude
[19:33] <WebBoi19> *sigh*
<WepnDlr> even "Numbass"
[19:33] <WebBoi19> immaturity is showing
<WepnDlr> "Numbass"
<WepnDlr> "Numbass"
<WepnDlr> yo Numbass!
<WepnDlr> "so did yer boss get me booted off yet"?
[19:34] <WebBoi19> i dunno what will happen to you, but i will find out monday
<WepnDlr> hes probably jerking on it... i mean working on it right now.... (yer
the one jerking...)(heh)
<WepnDlr> well you do realize that you threatening me first means that i am
permissed to harass you
[19:36] <WebBoi19> la la la
<WepnDlr> heh
[19:36] <WebBoi19> *big sigh*
<WepnDlr> what? you just pass gas?
<WepnDlr> HA
[19:36] <WebBoi19> um. no
[19:36] <WebBoi19> how old are you?
* WepnDlr hears a big "HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
emiatring from WebBoi19.
<WepnDlr> (_()_) --- thiz is yer ass
<WepnDlr> (_:_) --- thiz is a normal ass... any questions?
<WepnDlr> (_()_) --- long night last night,eh??? HA! Numbass....
(thiz is where he winnukled me) :( owell
Session Close: Sat Apr 18 19:38:16 1998
Session Start: Mon Apr 20 16:47:46 1998
<WepnDlr> yo
<WepnDlr> its monday
<WepnDlr> whad u find owt bout me?
<WebBoi19> FUCK OFF
<WepnDlr> Suck my dick! oh wait, no, please dont! NOOOO!!!!!
<WepnDlr> do you like hampsters? if your interested in hampster sex, call 1 800
288 2880 and press 1 for the operator to get your free hampster sex kit
* WepnDlr looks down as he sees the empty cage. he notices the washer is on, but
WebBoi19's clothes are spwrawled all over the floor. he goes into the bedroom,
where he thinks the washer is, and sees WebBoi19 on top of Harry the Wonder
Hampster.
<WebBoi19> Hampsters are nice
<WepnDlr> heh
<WepnDlr> HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHA! do you have a girbil?
<WebBoi19> i have a hampster
<WebBoi19> his name is roy
<WepnDlr> does he fix used tv's?
<WepnDlr> HAHAHAHA~!
<WepnDlr> yo, do you werk for oci?
<WebBoi19> Yo momma.... fuck off
<WepnDlr> What? yer the only one fuking off!
<WepnDlr> lemme ask you this- did you wager your donkey or did you bet your ass?
<WebBoi19> oh fuck your mother
<WebBoi19> voos mere
<WebBoi19> thats "your mother" in french
<WepnDlr> its Vous, not voos! HAAA! you need to get out you little fuck!
* WepnDlr looks down as he sees the empty cage. he notices the washer is on, but
WebBoi19's clothes are spwrawled all over the floor. he goes into the bedroom,
where he thinks the washer is, and sees WebBoi19 on top of Harry the Wonder
Hampster.
<WepnDlr> do you like hampsters? if your interested in hampster sex, call 1 800
288 2880 and press 1 for the operator to get your free hampster sex kit
Session Close: Mon Apr 20 17:40:50 1998
Contact WebBoi19 on irc EFnet and tell him how much you love being straight and
ask him if his hampster is dead yet.... tell him that SovietKGB sent you (im no
longer WepnDlr)
- SovietKGB
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Lord of the Fatware
by SovietKGB (dmbarr@erols.com)
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Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, payed me a visit. As we were
talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows 98 BETA on my PC, I
told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows
98 CD. I told him how my uncle works for microsoft and how i got the latest
version from him for 20$. To my surprise he threw it into my micro-wave oven
and turned it on. Instantly I got very upset, and started yelling obsenities,
because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is
unharmed.' After a few (long) minutes he took he CD out, gave it to me and said:
'Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it
seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the
inner edge of the central hole I saw a inscription, an inscription finer than
anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and
yet remote, as if out of a great depth:
12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE8209450920F923A40EE10E510CC98D444AA08E1324
'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said. 'No but I can,' he said. 'The
letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft,
which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:'
One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
Weird, eh???
[Editor's Note: Doesn't this mean that a Hobbit is going to
Take down Microsoft? ]
- SovietKGB
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co2 bombs (non-flamable)
by SovietKGB (dmbarr@erols.com)
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Schools almost over.... why not go out with a BANG??
CO(2) dry ice bombs are the way to go!
Intro:
Firstly, i'd like to say that co(2) bombs are dangerous. not like fire or heat
or lop-off-yer-penis-or-arm dangerous, just slightly dangerous. dry ice is
frozen carbon dioxide. it isnt flamable. acctually, if you are at all smart, you
know that co2 is used in fire extiguishers. but anyway, plastic bottles can
throw shrapnel veryvery far at a veryvery fast speed, so DONT USE GLASS BOTTLES
UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE!! YOU COUKD KILL SOMEONE!!!!!!!! ok? (btw- some
mid-western counties have banned the sale of dry ice to minors.) also, be
careful handling dry ice. it is several times colder than the freezing point of
water. if you do hold it too long, it will freeze yer skin (no joking) and you
might get gangreen, both of which are veryveryvery painful!!
Items:
20-30 pepsi/cokakola/whatever bottles (empty) (1-3 ltr is good, 1 is best)
1-3 bags of dry ice, 10-30 lbs (usually in 5-10 lb. bags for about 90 cents a
lb.)
lots of water (a hose works good)
Directions:
Now, then, yet, take the dry ice, buy some the day before your graduation, and
put it in yer freezer. make sure the bag isnt fully closed. also make sure that
the settings on yer freezer are on the coldest you can get. now, then, yet, next
day, take it out and put a bag into yer skewelbag, as well as a 2 ltr bottle of
water and 3 1-ltr empty bottles. when u get to skewel, put some dry ice into a 1
ltr bottle about 1/3 full, and fill it with water about a cm over the dryice.
find a place for it (a trashcan) and put the bottle cap on tight. put it in the
trashcan and walk away. in about 10-30 seconds, the botle will go boom!!!!
(phisics note- the bottle goes "BOOM" because of the heat in the water making
the dry ice melt very rapidly, causing co2 gas to form. the gastric pressure in
the bottle rises to amounts that the bottle can't hold, and so it goes "BOOM!")
you can re-use the dry ice that was used the first time, if you can find it all.
other things you can do:
-use as a cheap substitute for firewerks on 4th of july
-feed some to goats and watch their tounge freeze (very painful)
-mischeif night is great as you scare old ladys with a cheap m-120!!!
-put 4 peices and some water in a 1-ltr bottl and put a cork in it, shake it,
and voila, a cork-gun!!!
-pee in a 1-ltr bottle, put 2 peices of dry ice in it, cap it, and voila,
carbonated piss! (it wont blow up... you need about 20 peices to blow it up)
-put some in some cheap wine and voila, champagne!!!
Thats all i can think of. Be with us next time so that i can hear u scream when
your baby brother starts jizzing all over your ham radio. So-long!!!
-SovietKGB
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Breathing is Bad
by Dark Cactus (drkcactus@sysfail.org)
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Since the first caveman tripped over his first rock, sprawling headlong into a wall,
falling over backwards and landing on his blunt stone-age tools, man has asked countless
questions about the existence of his race. Why am I here? Is my religious persecution
justified? Why did I just trip over that rock, sprawling headlong into a wall and landing
on my blunt stone-age tools? Can two single men live together without driving each other
crazy? How DO they cram all that graham into Golden Grahams? One question, however, that
enters the mind of one seriously perturbed person is, "Should human beings breathe?" The
answer, simply, is no.
Several cases can be, have been, and will be made both for and against this question.
However, these, and every other case that has been made for the continuing respiration
of the human race is flawed and cannot stand up against a thorough, rational examination.
For example, the pro-breathers often argue that man would surely die off and not be able
to achieve his great accomplishments, such as cities and wars. Of course, the exact same
argument can be made for the anti-breathers. Think about it. Wouldn't your life have
been a lot more enjoyable if that bully hadn't taken your lunch money and beaten you
up every day? Or if that idiot in the '78 Pinto hadn't tried to cut across six lanes of
heavy traffic in front of you, causing that massive explosion and the shrapnel in your
forehead, wouldn't you be able to get more dates on a Saturday night? In fact, most or
ALL of the horrible things that have happened to you in your life could have been
prevented by the cessation of breathing.
The pro-breathing party like to turn out soft-hearted and impressionable youths to their
side by misinforming them about an oxygen/carbon dioxide imbalance in the atmosphere
that would come about if humans stopped breathing. This is simply not so. Research has
shown that with the ever-worsening human overpopulation problem on the planet, and the
recent development of the combustion engine, carbon dioxide is becoming a greater and
greater portion of our atmosphere. If this problem continues as it has been, IT will
surely wipe out ALL life on earth, except for the cockraches and Elvis, of course, who
can live through anything and are destined to be the final inhabitants of the Earth. If
anything, the ceasing of human respiration will make much more balanced a delicate
atmospheric mix of gases.
Through time and time again, logic, science, and nature have shown us that human
breathing is wrong and detrimental to the ecosystem, to humans themselves, and to the
morale of intelligent, sentient beings everywhere. On the whole, wouldn't the entire
human race be for the better if we didn't breathe? No more pain and suffering, no more
cruelty and hatred, and no more satanic purple dinosaurs infiltrating our children's
minds. The right answer is clear.
- Dark Cactus
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The SKGB Chronicles
by SovietKGB (dmbarr@erols.com)
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Dear reader,
this is FAKE! any person(s) mentioned in this or any other issue of the
SKGB Chronicles is(are) FICTITOUS!!! (that means they don't exist...)
Any or all similarities with or about any person on the whole fucking
entire face of this fucking planet with any character(s) in this issue
or any other issue of the SKGB Chronicles is COMPLETELY FUCKING
COINCIDENTAL! There is NO soviet regim of any sort on the WHOLE FACE OF
THIS PLANET (to my knowledge). So, the labarynth and cadet training
center and all that is supposedly underneath the city of philadelphia
and surrounding subburbs is FICTITOUS!!! I don't support communism, it's
just is that I have russian roots, and the name SovietKGB sounds cool.
(dont you aggree?)
OK? IS THAT ALLRIGHT WITH YOU? [slap] oh, thanks, i needed that.....
-SovietKGB
BEGIN FILE]
[date- 6/18/2023]
[voice recognition initiated]
[grown man's voice] command- save file as message one, cloak code 68359 end
[comp] saved as "message one", cloak 68359
[voice] i must talk quickly- theyre after me. i am roy roskomanof of the soviet
union new republic. there will be a war so catastrophic, so devistating, so
immensely.... so immensely futile and pointless... why did it have to happen
this way? why? if only- agh! tghargh!(thump, click, click, bkgrnd)damn!(click,
loud gun crack, click)
[voice recognition paused due to inactivity]
[file saved due to 10 minutes inactivity]
[program closed due to 20 minutes inactivity]
[END OF FILE- 'message one']
the sovietKgb chronicles-
episode 1-
SUNU-
It was a dark spring morning. I had just woken up to the music playing on my
radio. Everything was a blur last night. My run-in with the police, my allergic
reaction to my cubellis mushrooms, and the phone company van coming up to my
front door. Oh, by the way, my name is roy roskomanof, living in the russian
village of philadelphia, pa for the past 14 years, my whole life, with my
parents, grandparents, 2 sisters, olga and latvi, and my brother joseph. so
anayway, i was woken up, and i got ready for graduation day in my school. i have
been becoming very paranoid for the past few weeks, like someone was watching me
from behind. i would always look, and always never would anyone be there. but
anyway, i boarded my bicicle and took off for school. it started to drizzle, and
while riding to school, i started thinking. not about just one single topic, but
of many. my life expectancy in the russianvillage is about on adverage 35 years,
so i am middle-aged! i need to start a family, a!
s i still can, without having my life taken because of a russian mafia shootout
or the such. but i still want to go to college. i was in a mid-life crisis!
"hahaha!" i jokingly laughed to myself, but immeadeately the laughter turned to
fear as i saw two men in trenchcoats pull me off my bike and throw me into a
side-alleyway.
i screamed, but one pulled out a gun, and said "if you donot comply, your life
will be cut short as grass! now, do you want this to be easy or not?" and the
other man pulled his hand from my face. i could tell he was italian mafia coward
scum punk. but, i remember seeing him at my house every so often, and whenever
he was here, he talked to my father, who would shoo me out the room. this was
freakish. i decided to keep my cool, and i nodded my head. he started asking
questions. "Where is your father? WHERE! YOU TELL ME RIGHT NOW YOU FUKING RUGRAT
OR ILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT!"
i just stared at him. wait a minute, where was my papa? i hadnt seen him this
morning, or not even last night!
i decided to think fast, and whispered in his face "heh.... mabey hes out
screwing your mom!", in russian. the man with the gun said "what are you blabing
about? tell me where he is, or i swear ill shoot!"
i blurted "I DONT KNOW!!!"(in english) and he throws me to the ground, leaving
me bleeding with a big muddy pant leg.
this was my graduation day! i was soo pissed off. a man emerged from the
shadows. "very good, very good! what is your name, son, what is your name?" i
said "who are you?" he replied, all in russian mind you, "i am here to enlighten
you on a business proposition. i have seen your tactics, the karate and martial
talents you have, the mind games, your charm and dexterity, your intelligence
and fortitude, and your 31337 h4x0r sk1LLz!! But mostly your strength in all the
mentioned fields, not just phisical but also mental. i have decided that you are
worthy of sitting in on a Soviet Union New Utopia meeting. I am a decendant of
the famed Joseph Stalin of WWII. yes, I am Joseph Stalin II, here in the flesh."
episode 2-
the SUNU Labarynth
"excuse me, but why are you here, and why talk to me?" i asked.
He replied, "Come, dont delay!" and he pressed a brick in the wall. he took out
a keycard and placed it into a crack in the wall. Next, he looked up tworads a
camera and said "the blue cheese dressing on a midnight stroll with fishheads",
all in russian. a window near the ground opened, and out emerged a man' head,
who told us too follow him. we did so, and i found myself in a small room,
about 3 meters high by 5 meters wide, and 10 meters long. it had an old rusty
solid metal door on the far side, with a "FALLOUT SHELTER" sign on it, also
rusty.there was also a desk (old) with a computer and a bunch of tapes, and a tv
from the survalience camera outside. wires strewn all about the ground, and a
lamp in one corner, with a telephone in another. i commented "budget cuts?" he
laughed and said "you dont know the half of it. come", and i followed him
through the door and down a pole like what the firemans use. the pole led down
about 20 meters, as i found myself in a labarynth of !
twisty little passages, all alike, with signs saying "growth chamber" and "chem
lab" and the such. there was a golf car here, and he said "get in". i did as he
said, and he sped off at about 20 mph.
after about 30 minutes, we stop, and get off of the cart. he leads me to a man
who searches us and then puts us through a metal detector. he tells us to move
on.
Stalin leads me through a door, and through an archway, where we are searched
again. the room we enter is swarming with people, all carrying papers and disks
and information, who all stop to salute mr. stalin. the room was about 20 meters
high, 100 wide and 250 long, a huge room to say the least.
then i gasp as i see a tower of pure glass- a monument of sorts, which feels
alive, warm, friendly, like a newborn baby.... like something special.....
stalin was ahead of me, waiting for me to creatch up.
"what is this?" I ask.
he says "it is a computer chip, our AI project. this isnt glass, its pure gold."
i was befuddled, to say the least. "but how can you---"
"The budget was cut so that we could afford such a macine. but first, letme show
you to your office."
Oh no! at that point, i remembered my graduation was today, and i also
remembered my pant leg being as dirty as dirt could be.
will roy be a future spy? is his teacher gonna be pissed? who will feed his
girbil? join us next month for our next episode (and the answer to the first two
questions)
-SovietKGB
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5ESS: Research Paper
by hatredonalog (hatredonalog@hotmail.com)
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This is my research paper that I had to do for School. It sucks.
Keep in mind that I did write this for school, and if iI hadn't
it would have more "me" in it. The teacher marked it up with little
notes saying "tech. jargon... explain" and shit. I have the two
diagrams UUencoded at the bottom of this article... They do help you
understand it a little better. BTW: i got a 44/100 on this!#%^!& :(
---------
- paper -
---------
What is Electronic Switching System 5, and how does it work? Most
people know that it goes to the Central Office (CO), but that's all.
They don't know how a call is routed, or switched, to the proper phone
number.
Electronic Switching System 5 (5ESS) has been around for a long time,
and is now more popular than ever. AT&T first installed the 5ESS switch
in Sugar Grove, Illinois. That was in March of 1982. As with any new
thing, it had it's problems but it was still a success. Unlike previous
Switching Systems it provided ISDN, Operator and International Gateways,
along with service offerings. On top of all that, it could handle more
calls at once and faster than before.
Most people don't know how their telephone works let alone a call.
The 5ESS switch is only a local switch. It is not used as a tandem
switch. Normally a 4ESS switch is used for that. This means that it
can only route local calls, not long distance.
Local Call:
You-----> Your CO. --------> Their CO. ------> Them
LD Call:
You---> Your CO. ---> Your Tandem --->Their Tandem --->Their CO.---> Them
With this switch, calls go faster than on an older switching system such
as Step by Step, Crossbar, or 1AESS and there are less problems. The
5ESS switch is a far superior switch due to the fact that it has a higher
capacity . Along with better service, it brought things like three way
calling, call waiting, CallerID, and call forwarding. To the service is
better and luxeries are included. People want these services, and
telephone companies want to provide it, so the 5ESS switch is very
popular.
5ESS is a Unix based switch. Unix has played a large part in Switching
Systems since 1973 when it was used in the Switching Control Center
System (SCCS). Unix was originally developed by Ken Thompson and a
staff of programmers at the AT&T labs. It runs the switch and tells the
switch what to do. The first one was a 16-bit computer, nothing like what
is used now.
The 5ESS switch uses a time-space-topology. The switch is a digital
SPC switching system which utilizes distributed control.This means
that no part of the switch is entirely controled by one processor.
Infact there are many processors and shit in every Switch.
<Diagram 1 here.>
The Admininstrative Module is for administration of the switch (hence
the name) and controls every aspect of the switch. It runs on two 3B20S
processors which provide for TTY and data links to such things as the switch
network and various Operational Support Systems. This makes it an extremely
important part of the switch. All of this is tied into the Automatic
Message Accounting (AMA) is the part of the switch that records calls and
bills them. It sends the call information to the Central Revenue Office
and to a tape (G.R.A.S.P. Internet). It records the time, date, calling
party, the called party, and the duration of the call. This is almost the
most important part of the switch to the telephone company, it's what tells
them that they can bill you.
Now comes the most important part of the switch, the Communications module.
This part of the Switch provides for the permanent time slot pathes
between switch modules (SM's) and between the processor and the SM's. Now
one part of the Comm. Module is the Message Switch. It keeps the network
syncronized and controls any message transfer between the processor and the
Interface Units (IU). The Comm. Module is the "Work Horse" of the Switch.
<Diagram 2 here.>
Now for the single most important part of the switch, the Switch Module.
Part of the switch Module is the Switch Module Processor Unit (SMPU) which
houses the the microprocessor responsible for processing Calls, and terminating
line and trunks. The SM is the place where your line goes physically.
Then Comes the Time Slot Interchange Unit (TSIU) which, for intermodule calls,
switches to one of the Network Control and Timing (NCT) Links. For intra-
modular Calls however it is simply routed within that Switch Module. After
that is the Digital Service Unit. This provides for the High usage service
curcuits on a local level, such as tone generators and decoders. On a global
level it can provide for low level service curcuits. Therefore, this is
what decodes those pretty DTMF (Dual Tone Muti-Frequency) or touch tones into
signals and back again. There are 3 kinds of Interface Units (IU's). First
in line is the most popular, the everyday analog telephone line, the line unit.
Next there is the Trunk Unit, which is (obviously) for terminating Analog
Trunks, both of these require 64 Time Slots on the TSIU. Lastly there is the
Digital Line Trunk Unit (DLTU) which is for terminating Digital Trunks. These
require 256 Time Slots. The Switch Module may be configured with any combination
of these interfaces totaling up to 512 time slots.
The 5ESS switch is the newest, most powerful and useful switch around. It
provides both standard phone lines and high-bandwidth ISDN. In addition, it
lets you make clear calls without snaps or crackles on your line.
-----------
- Outline -
-----------
I. History
A. First 5ESS switch
B. Things that came with it
II. General
A. How a call goes through
B. Basic Information
III. New Services
A. Uses
B. Better Service
IV. Software
V. Topology
A. Administrative Module
B. Automatic Message Accounting
C. Communications Module
1. Message Switch
2. Switch Module
a. Time Slot Interchange Unit (TSIU)
b. Switch Module Processor Unit (SMPU)
c. Digital Service Unit (DSU)
d. Interface Units (IU)
d1. Line Unit (LU)
d2. Trunk Unit (TU)
d3. Digital Line Trunk Unit (DLTU)
--------------
-Works Cited -
--------------
G.R.A.S.P. Firm. AT$T 5ESS Switch From Top to Bottom. [Online] Available:
http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho/www/ess05.htm, 10 Mar. 1998
Havok. Electronic Switching System form Beginners [Online] Available:
http;//www.dimensional.com/~jericho/www/ess27.htm
History of the 5ESS switch. [Online] Available:
http://www.lucent.com/netsys/5ESS/sw_history.html
Webb, Marcus. Telephones: Words over Wire. New York: Lucent Books, 1992
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`
end
The End and stuff.
-hatredonalog
---------------------------------------------------------------------
* *
/ \
(----------------------------E-O-F---------------------------)
\_ Copyright Digital phreak P1mps 1998 _/
/ Just p1mp it! \
(----------------------------E-O-F---------------------------)
digital phreak p1mps is a free publication. Copyright 1997, 1998.
All information in this issue is property of the DPP. It may not be
copied in whole or in part without the written consent of the DPP.
\ /
* *
