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Deviate Issue 03
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deviate e'zine -- issue: 1.03 -- released 07/30/97
deviate magazine is a publication of surreality enterprises. all
matter contained within is the property of surreality, and may not be
duplicated without the expressed, written consent of both the author and
surreality enterprises. deviate may be distributed freely, in its
entire original state, provided no fee is charged for its retrieval.
^(---!- table of contents -!---)^
%-( deviate ascii header, by aCkONE/rMRS81
%-( editorial: six dollars and sixty six cents, by mindcrime
%-( spattered suburbia, by kiwi
%-( beautiful reality, by mindcrime
%-( exposition, by flood
%-( sin and redemption, by mindcrime
%-( millennium dawning, by mindcrime
%-( assignment due tomarrow: save the world, by mindcrime
%-( back page: embrace my digital utopia, by mindcrime !
%-( deviate ascii footer, by necromancer/rMRS81 ! & @%
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i look into the mirror
see myself, i'm over me
i need space for my desires
have to dive into my fantasies
i know as soon as i'll arrive
everything is possible
cause no one has to hide
beyond the invisible
close your eyes
just feel and realize
it is real and not a dream
i'm in you and you're in me
it is time
to break the chains of life
if you follow you will see
what's beyond reality...
- michael cretu, enigma
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,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$,
!$!: ::( editorial; $6.66 ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$!
`$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$`
part one -
my entire life, i have been under the impression that i was the most
perfect being in the entire universe. call me egotistical, call me self-
centered... it's all true. i always thought that my ways were perfect,
that my opinions were always the most wholesome ones. i believed in the
freedom of the individual, and through that i was the most open-minded and
righteous person on earth. perhaps perfect is a strong word, though. i
never thought i was really smart. i'm surrounded by computer nerds and
extremely intelligent people every second of my life, and their intelligence
towers over mine. that was never really the issue, though. i always thought
that my opinions and morals were so extremely high, that i was the center
of all that was right in the world. somehow between issue two and three of
this 'zine, i realized that there is no one perfect entity, and, if there
was, i would sure as hell not be it. sure, i'm pretty open-minded. my morals
are high. i don't do drugs, i don't smoke, i don't go out and beat people up
for fun. but is that really what makes a person good?
i realized sometime recently that i'm constantly changing my ways. last
issue i mentioned how against the idea of angst i was. this issue i have
nothing but pure, unadulterated angst. i was always against the idea of
being this angry young man. i was always high on my horse about being the
happiest, most laid back person on earth. i still don't care about anything,
and it might even be said that my angst is all forced, that i don't believe
any of it; and to an extent, that's certainly true. when it comes right down
to it, nothing really matters. but sometimes it can be fun to let your angst
take over and decide to assimilate the world with your completely deranged
and maniacal mind. sometimes we need a little angst to keep a purpose for
living alive in our mind. what would the world be if no one cared about
anything?
when i thought about writing this editorial, i thought i would write a
little something about how i completely contradicted my last editorial
spewing over the course of the last few months. the problem is, i wasn't
really looking at the big picture. the point is that people change. i
changed. i'm always changing, and learning to accept that change is part of
being open-minded. so these editorials reflect my mind at the time of
writing. everything i say can completely change itself around in my head by
the time i write another one of these rants. who really knows what's going
to happen? we need to just take it all in stride. live with change, because
it's going to happen as you grow older, as you grow wiser, and if you don't
embrace it you're going to end up hating yourself, hating your life, and
hating the universe around you. how could you go through life hating a
universe that could very well be populated by small, green, sarcastic
aliens? i don't know about you, but i'm pretty ecstatic about my own private
universe.
i guess what i'm really trying to say is, "i'm still perfect! NYEH!"
part two -
welcome to deviate issue three. it's a little different than the rest, as
you'll realize as you go down through the text. it's all part of the change,
the deviation. i mentioned it last issue, and i'll reinforce it this time
around. this 'zine is completely loopy. it'll change as i change, and i'll
be damned if that isn't alot of change. so maybe, just maybe, you'll find
something that you like in one of these issues. it's just a bunch of really
loppy stuff that people have written and i've decided to publish. is there
meaning behind the writing? probably. is it abundantly apparent to the
reader? most likely not. but the fact of the matter is that there's a good
chance it wasn't really clear to the writer either. the interpretation of
the writing presented here is your own. we don't force our opinions down
your throat like some sort of deranged high school english teacher. if you
can get something, anything, out of this writing, then i'm sincerely happy.
be your own entity.
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,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$,
!$!: ::( spattered suburbia ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( kiwi ):: :!$!
`$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$`
the wind played a gentle tune as it whistled through the sunlit branches
and the leaves danced and rustled above the well kept suburban lawn. the ax
fell down again amongst the tattered remnants of what was once a human torso.
birds twittered away as they aligned onto a white picket fence. incense
curled up from the wounds and great fountains of blood sprayed almost a mist
over the patio. the long stemmed flowers swayed and smiled upward at the
warm may sun on this lovely monday. strange iron shapes were pinned to
various pieces of mangled flesh and the incense coalesced into a loose but
unmistakable face of a demon. teeth bared, it feasted on the flesh until it's
bull like muzzle dripped of human blood. this face grew even more
substantial now, shimmering veins pulsated on its neck and face and two
long, black horns slid out of its temples. it seemed a cattle skull with
black skin stretched taught over a network of quivering arteries. grunting
an unearthly cry it vomited up onto the site of the sacrificial summoning.
steel rings rolled out of the steaming bile and scorched the cement, each
holding a small flame where the stone would have laid had they been forged
by human hands. having done this the horns faded, and then the face, and
finally the teeth hung over the blood spattered patio with steaming trails
of saliva dangling down. then it all dissipated into the fresh spring air.
the demon gone, the rings quietly crumbled to ash.
. . .
"jesus christ kevin, don't you see she's gone?" the voice buzzed through
the phone.
"she's done it before, saying it's over then coming back," detective
kevin ivan lavien answered, trying to convince himself. "it's not quite
midnight, she'll ask me to come back within the hour."
"she locked you out of the house and put a restraining order on you for
god's sake!"
"that doesn't mean she doesn't love me and doesn't want me around,"
lavien spat the words out of his mouth as if to be an insult.
"actually, it does mean she doesn't want you around," the voice retorted
with plain reason.
a stifled beep wheezed from under kevin's jacket which was flung over
the back of a particularly uncomfortable hotel room chair. "hang on a second,
my beeper is, well, beeping." setting the phone down on the motel 6 bed, he
shuffled over the coarse low-pile carpeting towards his jacket and fumbled
inside the deep pockets for his beeper. "damn." was all he said, staring
blankly. "hey bill, i'll call you back, something came up. . ." his voice
shook and cracked as he bit back tears.
"what was the beep about, you ok?" bill sounded genuinely worried.
"i'll just call later." kevin hung up and slid on yesterday's socks.
they felt sweaty. he always hated putting on unwashed socks. the tears
stopped and he dressed himself the rest of the way. he checked his sharp and
stubbled face in the mirror for signs of crying. a few seconds later he was
in his car speeding towards what was his house.
. . .
he didn't bother to turn off the car or the headlights, he simply opened
the door and ran towards the back yard. police tape was already thickly
webbed all about the property and red-blue lights flickered across the
aluminum siding. he crossed into his side yard passing several other
officers examining the crushed grass or probing the drain pipes with latex
gloves.
turning the corner into his back yard kevin promptly threw up. pieces of
shimmering flesh hung on iron meet hooks that dangled from the clothes line.
the whole yard glittered with black blood and white pieces of cartilage.
intestines were delicately arranged in a 5 pointed star within a circle on
the patio's thick cement slabs. teeth had been pushed into the gastral
lining at regular intervals giving it the odd look of a disfigured mouth.
ashes lay in the middle of this unholy star and chips in the cement formed
strange symbols. collecting his senses and wiping his chin with a handker-
cheif, kevin mustered enough professionalism to look for foot prints amongst
the gore or for anything revealing at all. cocking his head back and letting
his burning, over-tired, eyes stare up at the cold stars standing far off, he
gritted his teeth. letting his gaze lower, he saw the second story bedroom
window, directly above the patio, was smashed, and thick lines of blood
poured all the way from the window sill to the lawn drenching a large patch
of sod. it seemed to rain there, a torrent cascaded out of the window's
gaping maw and razor teeth hung out, imitating the splintered glass.
"it's female. or, was female." said a forensic detective in the
background as he examined a piece of mutilated pubic bone.
"i'll go back to my little motel room. have dispatch call me if there
are any questions that need answers tonight." kevin said to no one in
particular. he walked back around the house ducking security tape. climbing
into his car, he saw a news truck packed with reporters and cameramen squeal
to a stop, teetering back and forth, next to him. "the vultures are here."
he called the familiar warning out his open car door and slammed it shut.
the phone rattled on its thick plastic receiver. covers rustled uneasily
and a hand poked out from under a crumpled pillow. fumbling for the phone
and slapping the sheet from his face, kevin met the morning.
"what." he demanded flatly in a voice that croaked from just awakening.
"i am satan." the deep torn syllables scratched through the ear piece in
a shout that made his ears ring.
the phone grew hot and slippery in kevin's hand. he was at a complete
and utter loss. he felt fear and curiosity but had no idea of how to
respond.
"she is dead by my hand."
the unasked question was answered. whatever was on the other end of the
line had killed, no, obliterated, his wife. curiosity was replaced wholly
with rage, but fear still held a place along side it.
"window." the voice spat.
sliding out of the bed and slipping on his shoulder holster and trousers
kevin felt the phone burn against his chin and shoulder.
"why?" he tried to sound authoritative but the babyish and broken tones
that fell on the receiver held nothing but the near unbridled fright of a 6
year old who had lost it's mother. wisps of smoke streamed from the mouth
piece and with a shout kevin dropped the phone. the phone fell and the chord
contracted, dragging the phone a few inches towards the base and burning a
trail in the carpet. sliding his shoes on kevin saw the morning sun, that had
turned the white of his bed spread into a warm yellow, fade and blacken.
night settled on his little room in motel 6.
smashing the light switch up and snapping his berreta 9mm from its
sheath brought kevin a feeling of meager security as he tiptoed towards his
window facing the rear parking lot. a thunder rolled through the room and
the light flickered acknowledging a being of immense evil as the glass
slowly cracked and then burst asunder, allowing the haggard over 9 foot tall
demon to enter. detective lavien wet his drawers. a hideous goat like head
and legs adorned what appeared to be a humanoid figure. steam curled from
the doubled over monstrosity, circling slowly about the spike-like horns
protruding from the shoulders and cranium. massive chest muscles twitched,
launching a massive spiked and barbed fist through the ceiling with a trail
of blue sparks. the hand descended from the second floor, clutching a torn
human leg. thick lines of blood dangled from the gash in the roof while a
severed artery formed a mist of spurting black which clung to the beast's
dark red skin. the huge head barked and dropped the leg to thump on the
short hotel carpeting. kevin leveled his pistol while hot tears flooded his
face and he unloaded his entire clip into the spawn of satan. he seemed
detached as the silvery backs of his bullets slid from the barrel. the first
of his barrage crept toward the demon's face and finally made contact. the
tight skin tore away and then the shell punched through the thick bone of
it's left cheek. shards of ivory popped out and exploded from the back of
the skull as the second bullet made contact. eight rounds blasted all the
destruction mankind could muster into the face of evil itself.
kevin ivan lavien had expected the thing to either die or to see the
gaping and gorish wounds heal themselves miraculously or anything but what
came to pass. the beast, with the pieces of its mangled face hanging from
strands of skin, sinew and arteries, did not seem to even know it had been
shot. the wounds didn't keep the demon from tearing out kevin's ribs by
bending them outward through the skin one at a time or from digging 6 inch
nails into his kidneys. prayers fell from lips dribbling wet and warm blood.
prayers not for aid or retaliation, not even a final confession, only
prayers that soon he would be dead and alone.
. . .
the next morning, house keeping came into the corner room of motel 6 and
discovered kevin's battered and broken body. ribs stuck strait outward and
horrible gashes and tears laid all over him. his head was cocked at an odd
angle and the expression was unattainable, due to a slash to the bone across
his mouth and cheeks. the sun shone through the window pane and onto the gun
in it's holster that lay on the bed. the ceiling sat untouched.
the murder was filed away in police records next to the homicide report
on mrs. lavien. the cabinet in which they were put bore the tag, "some
things are better left unknown."
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,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$,
!$!: ::( beautiful reality ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$!
`$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$`
she lies down,
and closes her eyes,
and the light
from omnipotent life
dissappears from view.
ocular representations
of life's pure energy
smothered.
enter my wandering mind.
the colors and patterns,
swirling and twirling
inside.
reality's perception
outside.
inside.
oxygenated.
breathing and rising,
rising and falling.
beautiful reality
with mixed up words,
beautiful reality
flying high in the sky like energy birds,
carry the message,
break through the bonds.
thumping and pumping
through beautiful reality.
who's perception is yours?
is my perception hers?
thinking and pounding
through the colors and energy
and the beats pound through
with the treble and bass.
electrosonic soundscapes
and transverse waves.
a beautiful reality.
escape...
my beautiful reality.
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,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$,
!$!: ::( exposition ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( flood ):: :!$!
`$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$`
through her loving eyes she baded me
[so deep]
i could float in them forever, swim in the depths
lose myself, and have you bring me back
in a snap
so brief and exposing
i knew you.
[i love you]
ecstasy
like a drug, you were in my system
i could feel your blood in my veins
a soft regulatory rhythm between us
in limbo
nothing could break us
i loved you.
[i love you]
surreal
i brushed your lips
and gave you all I had
all of my possessions, my body
my heart, my love, my life
and i thought
nothing can break us
but i doubted you
[i love you]
and a snap again
synapses convulsing as a harsh
stinging dream came to be truth
and the truth mangled my trust
and murdered it, and you laughed as
your moves
destroyed my very being
and then i knew you.
[i love you]
like a sheep, i followed, i trailed
your path of destruction of me
picking up myself and handing them to you
in a woven basket
of my guilt and fear
i knew the truth.
[i love you]
through soft-spoken words you smothered me
burying my doubts until i was deceived
until i knew no more about myself
and it was far too late to turn back
but i did
And i hated you
[i love you]
no, my eyes, they opened that day
and i looked around me and saw myself
splayed about, with you pulling the strings
driving my life to a destined hell
and i woke up
and i threw you away
and i hated you for it
[i love you]
no! i screamed, and screamed again
feeling my words hit a hollow personality
and i shattered your intentions
with the meaning of my actions
and i watched shards of you fliter
out of my life
slowly
silently
gone
[...]
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+ -- sin and redemption: editor's comments -- +
i've been working on this story for quite some time, on and off, usually
while in school. i really wasn't sure where i wanted to go with a lot of it,
and i'm not sure it turned out completely how i would have liked. on the
whole, it's not a bad story, but there are parts which i would have liked to
work through better. it just got to the point where i was sick of writing
this story and wanted to move on, so here it is. respect goes out to the
original writer's of "the crow". i think it's safe to say that i was heavily
influenced by that work.
,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$,
!$!: ::( sin and redemption ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$!
`$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$`
the sunlight streamed across the bedroom, playing off of the reflective
surface of her freshly opened, beautiful green eyes. gabriel was up early
today, perched upon the wooden stool and staring out at the glass distorted
landscape like a raven awaiting a lost soul.
"look at them. wound up little tin soldiers, marching their way through
the monotony of their push-button lives."
"there you go again, getting yourself worked up over something you have no
control over. come back to bed, honey."
gabriel closes the black curtains that draped over the window's edge,
cutting off a good portion of the light and rendering the room dark as
night. he climbs back into bed next to alex, her smooth skin brushing up
against his thigh, reminding him just how lucky he is to have her. he had
been tired the night before after a long day at work, but they managed to
make up for lost time as the morning progressed through early afternoon.
the sun was now starting it's slow decent over the western horizon.
gabriel and alex sat down for a late lunch after getting out of bed,
starting their day while other's were already in full swing. the weekend
was their time together, and this saturday was no different. gabriel, due
to the nature of his job, worked nearly every night, but the days were his
to spend with alex, showing their undying love for one another.
"don't go to work tonight, honey. we'll stay in and cook a nice dinner.
it'll be fun!"
"you know i can't do that, alex."
"god damn you, gabriel. you're not going to save the world in one fucking
night. you work too much, damnit."
"honey, you know i have work to do. i can't stay home and rest while the
scum of the world run rampant in our streets, destroying the very fabric
of our existence. it's the god damn apocalypse out there, and i've got to
do something about."
"you're not batman, gabriel. the world needs more help than you can give
it, can't you realize that?"
"of course i realize that, but that's no reason to quit. i have a skill
that can help the honest people of this world, and i'll be damned if i'm
not going to do everything in my power to use it."
gabriel throws his napkin down on the table and gets up.
"i'll be home later, you know i will. we'll have fun then. right now i
have to work. i have to put my conscience at ease. i've got to save this
god forsaken world."
"fine. just make sure you come back, because i'll kill you if you die on
me."
"haha. have i ever gone back on a promise?"
"don't get cocky, just come back."
"of course."
"i love you, gabriel."
"i love you, too, alex. don't get into too much trouble while i'm gone."
alex gets up from the table and surprises gabriel with a passionate kiss
which lasts for what seems like days. with that, gabriel walks out the door
and out of view.
it was nearly dark out now, alex was in the shower, freshening up before
gabriel returned. she had a surprise ready for him, and she wanted everything
to be perfect. stepping out of the shower, she hears a knock on the door.
throwing a towel around her nearly perfect body, she yells out to the person
behind the door.
"who is it?"
"a friend of your boyfriend's."
opening the door frantically, she fears the worst.
"my god, what is it? what's happened to gabriel?"
"nothing's wrong with your boyfriend, girlie. it's you you should be
worried about."
the stranger closes the door behind him and pulls out a pair of black
leather gloves, stretching them over his large hands. alex drops her towel
and starts to run. without a second exit to the small apartment, she only
gets as far as the bedroom before rolling up into a ball and cowering in
the corner.
the stranger pulls out a .45 caliber pistol, checking the clip to ensure
that it's loaded.
"please. don't kill me, i've done nothing to you. i don't even know you.
please. please. PLEASE!"
alex takes a final breath before screaming.
"NOOOO!"
one shot to the middle of the forehead and she stops her restless
breathing.
* * *
nearly midnight now, the moon high above the earth showers down on the
desolate world below. gabriel is tired, making his way slowly up the five
flights of stairs to his top floor apartment. he unlocks the door and
steps into the moonlight drenched apartment, the curtains blowing wildly in
the breeze from the open windows. it is cold and damp, and not a single
light is lit.
"alex? honey? are you there?"
flicking the living room light on, he sees nothing. the apartment is as
he left it, except for the abcense of any living soul. gabriel throws his
leather jacket onto the back of a kitchen chair and opens the refrigerator,
grabbing a cold soda to refresh his depleted thirst. he moves into the
bedroom and flicks on the light.
"my god. NO. ALEX!"
dropping his now open soda, he rushes toward the lifeless corpse. his
pulse is racing nearly to the point of bursting a vein. he feels around for
her pulse, but the hole in her soft-skinned forehead tells him that it's a
lost cause.
"no... this can't be. please god, what did i do to deserve this? GOD, WHY
HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME?!?!?!?"
* * *
the rage, he feels so much. the sadness, it's burning up inside. the
questions, he has many. the grief, he has never known a greater pain. the
pain. excruciating pain. so much pain. why?
his days are filled with rage, his nights with tears and the hope that
someday the pain will subside. his mind, always so bent on the prospect of
revenge, the hope that some day his actions would clean the world of it's
filth, was now filled only with sadness and a fear that is indescribable.
he feels the rage, but knows not how to manifest it... he feels the pain,
but cannot harvest it. the sweet smell of revenge fills the air, but he
cannot clear his mind of the sadness... the bitter sadness.
his god is dead.
for thirteen days he felt the pain. for thirteen days he felt the sadness.
for thirteen days he felt the grief. on the fourteenth day there is only
one feeling left: rage.
* * *
the previously sun drenched land was cool now in the first hours of the
night. the moon was full, but, sheltered by the numerous thin, shooting
clouds, gave off only limited light. activity on the streets had halted,
as if the coming of night had brought death to the world below. far above
the earth, a stone gargoyle stared heavily at the deserted streets, doubling
as a floating fortress for gabriel, his katana buried in the creature's
stiff head.
the gaze of his seemingly black eyes, fixed on the ruckus causing creature
stammering through the streets below, pierced through the night like a
bullet through water. the drunken suluc, merely a pawn in the game of life,
stumbled through the alley across the way, trying to make his way to the
"glass shadow."
taking sword in hand, gabriel steps off the platform and onto a thin
electrical wire stretched across the dark street. playing the balancing act
he was so fond of showing off, gabriel positions himself several meters
above suluc. the sword, falling quickly through the night, pierces the
street, frightening the nervous drunkard.
"what the fuck was that?" his voice is uneven and cracking.
gabriel jumps to the ground below, directly in front of the vagrant.
"the sum of all your fears, suluc. i hope you've said your prayers, it's
time for you to meet their recipient."
gabriel grabs his sword, pulling it across his body. the strong steel
blade flips around the opposite side and reverses, slicing directly through
suluc's alcohol laden neck on the back swing. the heat of the ferocious
swing immediately cauterizes the bloody wound as the convulsing body falls to
the ground, lifeless. jamming his sword in the ground, gabriel kneels before
the body as the lights in the alley explode in an array of blinding sparks;
then darkness.
"that one's for my pain."
* * *
and in the darkness, the smell of death was in the air...
* * *
"who's here?" spin's voice was sinister and torn.
"fucking rats, man. this city's a god damn shit hole."
he kicks a can into the air and it catches the light from the street light
high above, playing with it, bouncing it off the shiny surface. the can
exits the light and into the shadows where it makes no sound.
"what the fuck? who's back there?"
the can, jetting out from the darkness, bounces off spin's head and hits
the ground with a loud clang. he draws a knife from it's sheath around his
waist.
"you're gunna die for that, bitch."
knife outstretched in front of him, spin pokes around at the edge of the
shadows.
"come out here, punk, so i can cut you up real nice like."
the moonlight, just peaking over the tops of the buildings, lights the
eyes of grabriel as he slowly steps out of the darkness to face his enemy.
spin takes a stab with his knife as gabriel flips over him, floating through
the air as if he had wings. stunned from the move, spin barely has time to
react to the fist flying straight for his face. blood spurts out of his nose
as he stumbles to regain his balance.
"tell me where ecks is or you'll die right now."
"fuck you and die."
gabriel jumps into the air as his foot swings around and catches spin
square on the chin, knocking him backward.
"you may want to rethink your answer."
"who the fuck are you, man?"
"i'm the guy who's gunna kill you if you don't tell me where the FUCK ecks
is."
spin slashes at his attacker, slicing gabriel's cheek. grabbing him by
the back of his scrawny little neck, gabriel flips him down on his back and
places his sword directly above spin's heart, holding it with two hands,
ready to strike in an instant.
"now you've had your fun. tell me where ecks is."
spitting blood onto the ground next to him, spin finally answers.
"he's at the 'glass shadow'. in the back room. that's where he always is,
man."
"thanks."
gabriel starts to move away, then pauses.
"oh, i forgot one thing."
he flips his sword above his head, grabs it with both fists and thrusts
it into spin's heart, slicing it in mid beat. spin gurgles twice, then dies.
"that one's for my suffering."
* * *
and in the moonlight, the sweet smell of blood was in the air ...
* * *
the moon was high above the earth now, casting it's light down and giving
the city a ghostly illumination. gabriel was resting, enjoying the brisk
october night as the eleventh hour came and passed. the "glass shadow", just
around the corner, was now bustling with activity.
the city's busiest night club, the "glass shadow" is the favorite hangout
of the very scum of society that gabriel loathes with every ounce of his
existence. the people there will surely know him, as he has spent the last
three years of his life washing his boots in their blood. this would prove
to be a fight of epic proportions.
the word had spread regarding the death of two of the city's most hardened
criminals and the underground was flooding with rumors. there was no
mistaking who had done it; there was only one man who even cared enough. the
crowd at the "glass shadow" was waiting restlessly for a chance at revenge.
gabriel gets up and pulls out his sword. slamming open the large steel
doors of the "glass shadow", he heads straight for the back room. immediately
recognizing gabriel as the object of their morbid desires, the blood thirsty
hoodlums encroach on him with their various weapons drawn.
gabriel, with nothing left to lose and no hope remaining, struts through
the blockage of enemies with a look of pure hatred on his face, as the music
blaring through the bar shouts it's refrain; "how can i exist without you?"
gabriel's sword pierces the chest of his first foe, ripping through the back
of his now lifeless corpse. gabriel spins around, pulling the sword out of
the gaping wound and slashing the entrails of an enemy approaching from
behind. ducking a punch from another, he gains his momentum, slicing the
head off his third enemy, then immediately tossing his sword like a bullet
into the bare chest of a gun wielding drunken entity. now without weapon,
gabriel calls on the power of his own body to make safe passage through the
bar, solidly punching another attacker, sending his nose bone into the front
of his brain, killing him almost immediately. now standing only five feet
from the doors to the back room, gabriel jumps into the air, kicking the
door guard in the chest, sending him flying backward through the swinging
doors. the remaining enemies back off, knowing that whatever is left of this
foe will be ripped apart by ecks himself.
"why did you kill her?"
"to get to you, of course. my motives are quite obvious, gabriel, my boy."
the room, formerly filled with associates of evil, echoes now only with
the booming voices of the two mortal enemies.
"then take me as i am."
gabriel charges the weaponless ecks, forcing him against the stone wall,
embracing in a deadly battle. fists fly and often connect, bodies are thrown
and blood is spilt. the two dark figures tumble into the next room as the
surrounding audience cheers for the victory of their vicious leader. ecks
backs off, staring gabriel down while the two circle around an invisible
border.
"you shouldn't have come here, gabriel. your destiny is sewn, just like
that precious little girly of yours."
"your life's decay is my destiny, ecks."
gabriel charges as ecks turns around, facing the wall. spinning back
around, he pulls gabriel's sword out of the hunched body pinned to the wall,
letting it fall to the ground. with one lunge, the sword tears through the
approaching skin of gabriel, bringing him to his knees, arms outstretched as
if petitioning to heaven for his fading life.
ecks shakes his head and lowers his voice. "you shouldn't have come here,
gabriel."
he walks away, leaving the bloody body of gabriel to wither away in agony.
flashes of light enter gabriel's tightly shut eyes. images of life circle
his decaying brain, flooding his thoughts with a reason to live; a reason to
fulfill his only remaining goal. he slowly and painfully slides the sword
out of his gushing wound, pulling the tip out of the frontal gash and
holding the blade between his two crimson soaked hands. with a final burst
of energy, and only one hope remaining, gabriel stumbles to his feet and
turns around.
blood trickling down his chin, he manages to utter his final words.
"this one is for you, alex."
with one fluid motion, gabriel tosses the sword, which glides end over end
through the stale air and lodges itself into the chest of ecks as he turns
around.
the small bar fills with a blinding light, windows shaking, floor
trembling. the light diminishes into total darkness and the screams of lost
souls are heard through the dead air. darkness fades back to light and life
goes on, the bodies of the dead disappearing into the blood pools around
them. a small twinkle of light dances through the shimmering pool of
gabriel's blood.
"welcome home, my love."
()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )()
,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$,
!$!: ::( millennium dawning ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$!
`$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$`
lost alone in my head again
thoughts, pictures and perceptions
fade into oblivion.
visualize the destruction of
my time.
my reality.
my life.
infinite perplexions compounding negative productions
producing the paradox of empty life.
understand not until
the end of our eternity.
as we approach infinity
and lose reality
through the crossing of our refractive paths
fear not the rearrangement
of our meaningless perceptions.
()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )()
,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$,
!$!: ::( assignment: save the world ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$!
`$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$`
defcon 4. the back lit sign clicked down a level, bringing peace on earth
to a grinding halt. it had been 68 years since the treaty, a time of
ultimate peace and unity on planet earth. in the year of our lord 2000, at
the dawning of the new millennium, a small faction of revolutionaries
brought the digital world to it's knees, holding hostage the very backbone
of a fully operational planet. demanding that the world bow to them as gods,
they ushered in a new era of true peace and enlightenment. what had appeared
to most to be the beginning of the third world war had become a prophecy
fulfilling engine for peace. technology moved away from war and focused on
the betterment of human existence as the populous became education oriented,
learning about life and the universe while bringing in the aesthetic beauty
of art to revolutionize the view of our planet. for 68 years, we have lived
as a single nation, journeying through our infinite realities and working
to gain an infinite perspective.
2068. it started three days ago: the earth erupted into a ball of flame
in several key cities of the nation. buildings collapsed, transports
exploded, and nearly half of the worlds digital network was shut down for
reasons unknown. communication, the main tool of our new nation, had been
severely crippled.
the monitor ahead of me had clicked on just moments before, revealing an
enormous being standing on the nasa building in midtown manhatten. the war
outside carried the waves of noise caused by the thousands of people
stopping their cars to focus on the monitors in nearby shop windows and
phone booths. the being had succeeded in instantaneously grabbing the
attention of the entire population.
"your feeble planet is being reformed. do not resist our dominion. the
underworld has become overpopulated. welcome to new hell."
large black wings spread from behind the figure and lifted him off into
the sky.
* * *
"i want every man we've got loaded with a rail gun and on the streets and
i want it last month! launch the fucking flyboys, get 'em all in the air!
prepare every god damn nuke we've got left. we're gunna need enough power
to fuck up every anthill on the planet. move out, and god help us all."
i didn't know what else to do. we were dealing with the devil here and
there didn't seem to be a prayer in heaven to get us out alive. 68 years ago
i lead our nation to unity and now we were faced with destruction. the eyes
of the world were on me. the future of our existence was in my hands.
"what am i going to do?"
runtime error at 0000:0047 - divide by zero.
"god damnit! this fucking program is due tomorrow. you'd think i'd have
learned how to do this shit after 4 years of computer science."
"i suppose i'll just finish it in the morning."
a flash of remnant phosphorescence floods the screen and goes blank as
the power seeps out of the monitor.
()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )()
,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$,
!$!: ::( back page: my digital utopia ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$!
`$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$`
there's a file on my hard drive right now called deviate1.03. i created
it right after i released deviate issue 2, a year ago to this day. it's been
idle there for a long time. i never had the will... maybe i just never had
the motivation to finish it. it's done now. i've edited it, i've finished
unfinished work, i've wrapped it up into a nice little textfile and it's
all ready to be published for the world to see. something hit me tonight.
after about nine hours of watching tv, a familiar act these days, i was
struck down by motivation. it comes at funny times, but i wasn't going to
ignore it this time. i hadn't felt it in a while, and i seized this
opportunity to finish this beast.
and so ends another chapter in my life.
yeah... this is the end of the current road for deviate. it's become
evident that i can no longer maintain a 'zine by myself, nor do i really
enjoy doing so. life is about communication and friendship, and with those
things in mind i've formed a new venture with two fellow 'zinesters. with
the partnership of edicius, editor of the long running jonas e'zine, and
belial, editor of several short lived 'zines, i'm going to be moving forward
into uncharted territory and exploring new moods and ideas. we've decided,
for no apparent reason, to name this venture "syntax22". hopefully it will
be something i can dedicate myself to for a while. look out for it on the
web sometime soon. (i'll post a link on the deviate web site when we get
something up.)
don't count deviate out for good, though. people change, ideas change,
life changes. it was the whole idea surrounding the 'zine, and to turn my
back on that now would be hypocritical. i wouldn't be entirely surprised
if a fourth issue of deviate were to make it's way into the world. maybe
not in a year, maybe not even two years. but do we ever really know what's
going to happen?
if you've gotten this far, i'd like to truly thank you for being a reader
of my little forum here. it's been fun doing it, and i'm hoping at least
one person had fun reading it. until next time...
- mike melli,
the man behind the mask.
()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )()
thanks go out to my friends and confidants who helped me with my state of
mind: dimes, belial, edicius, buddy, jason, and grey hawk. you guys rock.
()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )()
contacting deviate:
email:
!- mci@blade.org
ftp:
!- ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/Deviate
www:
!- http://www.blade.org/deviate
bbs:
!- alderaan @ 908.224.8780
irc:
!- mindcrime
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astronauts in the weightlessness of pixellated space
exchange graffiti with a disembodied race
i can save the universe in a grain of sand
i can hold the future in my virtual hand. - neil peart, rush
()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )()
.
:
\ : ____ ___ __ _
_ ______ \ | \ //
. .. ......... ______\ \______\ |_____ _\/__ _______ ___________ ______
. .... .:'/ __ // ___ -__/__ | // /_\ ___ \\ __ // -__/__
:...:'/________/ /__ _ __//__________| \\__| _____ /
/_____/ \__/ | \_ |___/ /_____/
D E V I A T E __ /_______\nM
\/
()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )()
