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Demented Anarchists and Malicious Malignant Inventors of Terror Issue 2
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º Demented Anarchists & Malicious Malignant Inventors of Terror º
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Issue #2 - From the Mind of Madcap
By: Madcap
Letter From Madcap:
Well, if your reading this I guess Sir Robin is real lax on rules. When we
Decided that DAMMiT would not have any rules, we meant it. If there's one
thing I believe in it's that censorship sucks. Even though I'm for anarchy, I
still believe in free speech. Since I'm impatient I'll not repeat the whole
amendment, but, in short it promises freedom of speech, freedom of expression,
& all dat crap. Besides minor spell checking and editor's notes, there will
be absolutly no censorship. You could say "Sir Robin sucks cock"..... We'd
kill yer dog, burn yer house down, kill your loved ones, eat your fingers, dye
your intestines orange, autopsy you while your still living, and paste your
toes to the floor, but we'll print your submission. So if you see any
censorship in DAMMiT, get your eyes checked - it won't be there!
<Madcap> Co-Founder.
(Sir robin does the finger eating, Madcap has no stomach for it.)
The Fly
A Poem/Limerick By: Madcap
In my room is a fly
it flew into my eye
I grabbed a book
(my oh my)
and said good bye
For then it was I
who caused that fly
to die
now I'm blind in an eye
(Editor's note: How touching.... I think I'm gonna cry!)
Drink of The Dead
By: Madcap
The Smell of Death,
Leers on my Breath,
I lead her back,
Open my maw,
There is no fight,
Just delight,
I wash my mouth,
of the blood of her neck,
All that's left,
But a double speck,
Of BLOOD.
Baptism of Blood
Also by: Madcap
I tilt back her head,
My teeth puncture her neck,
I drink away her blood, her life,
To us the greatest gift I am giving,
For now she's truly, a member of the Un-Living.
Unlife (See a pattern Here?)
Once Again By: Madcap
Slowly I wake,
The ultimate curse,
I rise still in the hearse,
I take hold of the driver,
When I'm thru with him,
He won't be any liver.
Death has Fur
(Editors Note: I always thought death wore robes!)
By: Madcap
Intestine stuck on a spearhead,
Blood runs dry as you wake in bed,
A wolf sits on your chest,
You'll die quickly at best.
Lord of the Night
Again By: Madcap
You and your girl,
Necking in the closet,
A sound you hear,
Frozen with fear,
Turn on the light,
Don't worry it's only,
The lord of the Night.
Dinner of the Dead
Another one by: Madcap
Down the hall they are led,
In minutes they'll be dead,
To us it's life,
To them it's death,
The first breathes it last breath,
As I open my jaw & You raise your paw,
The second knows just what he saw,
And then they bring him in,
We commit the ultimate sin,
They are our meal,
& Now the eating begins.
Pleasant, Weren't they. Now, something from ME! Wow, an added bonus.
15 Things to do on the Roof
By: Sir Robin
1. Try to jump through the ceiling
2. Pretend your stuck and get some sap to call the Fire department, & Leave
before they come
3. Learn to fly
4. Jump off the roof, crashing into the mailman
5. Slide down the chimney
6. Use a SuperSoaker and blast people going near your house
7. Jump on your parents car as it comes out of the garage
8. Throw fire crackers at passing cars
9. Launch Model rockets (Or model Rocket bombs, more fun there) and see where
they land
10. In the winter, ice your roof down, toss up some snow, and Ski off your
roof
11. Get binoculars and stare at people. They'll get a funny feeling
12. Three Words: Good Sniping Position
13. Blow up your room from above?
14. Sleep
15. Throw Shingles into the street
Well, thas it for issue 2, but first, a joke & Crap like that.
A man made an appointment with a psychiatrist. When he showed up, he was
carrying a large square box. The shrink said "If I'm going to help you, I have
to know everything about you. Why don't you start by showing me what's so
important in that box?"
The man opened the box. Inside was a woman's severed head, with a big
flowered straw hat on top.
"Oh, my God!" The shrink cried. "That's Hideous!"
"I know," the man said. "That's exactly what I told her when she bought it."
<DAMMiT>
"Why Not?"
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