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Damned Fucking Shit Issue 22
ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
ÚÙ À¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄ ³
³ ÀÄ¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄ¿
³ À¿ ÃÄÄÄÄ¿ ÀÄ¿
³ ³ ³ ÀÄÄ À¿
³ ³ ³ ÚÙ
³ ÚÄÙ ³ ÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÙ
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
Damned Fucking Shit
Edited by Access Denied
Issue #22
Title: DFS #18 Revisited
Date: 1/18/94
By: Nosferatu
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
[Editor's Note: Hmm... Nosferatu had some fun with this one. Here's DFS #18
revisited... but a little bit differently. Read on... -AD]
ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
ÚÙ À¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄ ³
³ ÀÄ¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄ¿
³ À¿ ÃÄÄÄÄ¿ ÀÄ¿
³ ³ ³ ÀÄÄ À¿
³ ³ ³ ÚÙ
³ ÚÄÙ ³ ÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÙ
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
Damned Fuckin' Shit
Edited by Access Denied
Issue #18
Title, dig dis: A Chat On Blurred Vision
Date, dig dis: 1/14/94
By, dig dis: Anonymous
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
[Editor's Note, dig dis: Well, seein' dat dis wuz sent in anonymously, Ah can't
in anyway verify de authenticity o' dis. So's if ya' be de sysop o' Blurred
Vision and dis didn't really happen t' ya', oh well. What it is, Mama!
Scribble sump'n about it and maybe I'll publish it. If dis DID happen dough,
danks, some lot o' suckas gots'ta laugh. What it is, Mama! So's anyway, dis
may gots happened, it may gots not. In any case, it's pretty funny. Ya'
know? -AD]
A Chat On Blurred Vision
Dis chat wuz captured fum some board called Blurred Vision.
De SysOp be some twit. Eyeball and ya' gots'ta see why. Ya' know?
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ THiS BULLETiN BOARD iS PRiVATE ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
ÀÄÄÄÄÄ iF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN iNViTED, HANGUP NOW ÄÄÄÄÙ
ÄÄÄ Enta' yo' account dojigger o' numba'
ÄÄÄ New users type NEW
[þ LOGiN þ]: NEW
Newusa' password, dig dis: ÛÛÛÛÛÛ
Newusa' password, dig dis:
%LF, (( XXXXX )) gots'ta buggered in t' chat..
Identify yourself. What it is, Mama!
***Straight t' de point.
hold please
Identify yourself. What it is, Mama!
***A dude o' many words.
Massa'
Massa' whut?. Right On!
Massa' Smith. What it is, Mama!
WHere dun did ya' git dis #?
War diala'
Yeah. What it is, Mama!. how dun did ya' git de NUP?
War diala'?
Git lost ya' fuckwad before ah snatch drastic measures..
***Oh no. Right On! Not dat. Right On!
Whut be drastic measures?
It means if ah find out who ya' be, ya' gots'ta not gots some reputashun in de
mornin'.
***Wow. Ya' know? Whut some scary guy. Right On!
Ah duzn't gots one yet.
Hang up.
But why?
Cuz ya' wuz not invited t' dis board. Sheeeiit.
***No shit.
How do Ah git invited?
Fust o' all, ya' duzn't eyeball autoposts at MOSH
How else?
Git some fuckin' life. Sheeeiit..
Why be ya' bein' so's mean?
Becuase youse not supposed t' be here. Sheeeiit.
But Ah dought it wuz fo' everyone?
Ya' dought wrong. What it is, Mama!
But I'm such some baaaad usa'...Ah gots tons o' files..
Identify yourself. What it is, Mama!
***Here we go again.
Let's plum say I'm some baaaad usa'.
Identify yourself. What it is, Mama!
I've been informed t' de identity o' dis sucka' ya' be lookin' fo'.
***He's lookin' fo' some Gath Baal guy o' some shit..
***He wants t' kill him fo' some reason...
Identify dat individual. What it is, Mama!
Golf Ball o' sump'n.
Identify his true identity. Ya' know?
Whut gots'ta Ah git fo' it?
Identify his true identity. Ya' know?
His fust dojigger be Chris.
Be dis sucka' Chris P$%@$?
*** ^^^^ Fo' dis lamers sake, we'll protect his dojigger.
Could be. Sheeeiit..
Dank ya' fo' complyin'.
No problem. What it is, Mama!
Leave me. Sheeeiit.
But, yo' presence enlightens me. Sheeeiit.
Identify yourself. What it is, Mama!
Sam. What it is, Mama!
State yo' full identity. Ya' know?
Yosemite Sam. What it is, Mama!
Incorrect response. Sheeeiit.. State yo' Handle. Sheeeiit.
Yosemete Sam. Right On!
Incorrect response. Sheeeiit.. State yo' handle. Sheeeiit.
Whatchamacalit.
Ah know who ya' be. If ya' persist, ya' gots'ta be 'secuted. Sheeeiit.
***Death by drool? :)
Den if ya' know who Ah am, why do ya' keep askin' me?
Ya' be N#@#@#@#@.
***We'll protect his identity too..
Yep.
Ya' be not welcome here. Sheeeiit.
But I'm some baaaad usa'.
Ya' be not one o' de chosen.
But it be mah destiny. Ya' know?
Alex says t' go away. Ya' know?
Alex who?
Alex J#@#@#.
***And his..
Dat's me. Sheeeiit.
Ya' honky jive likes some dog. What it is, Mama!
Dog's duzn't honky jive, dey lay. Ya' know?
Leave me. Sheeeiit.
Likes some tree?
Leave me. Sheeeiit.. o' ya' gots'ta suffa'.
Suffa' whut?
De consequences.
Whut wuz dose again?
Death by means o' Blacklisture. Sheeeiit.
Blacklisture?
Yes.
Could ya' define dat fo' me?
De ruinin' o' an individuals "BBS" life. Sheeeiit.
But, accordin' t' ya', Ah duzn't gots one. Sheeeiit.
Den ya' gots nothin' t' worry about. Leave me. Sheeeiit.
If Ah gots nothin' t' worry about, why duzn't ya' let me on?
A'cuz ya' do not gots de propa' New Usa' Password. Sheeeiit.
So's fill me in.
De New Usa' Password be "G"
No it's not.
Ok. What it is, Mama!. ah lied. Sheeeiit.. it's Crtl-Alt-Del. What it is,
Mama!.
Be dat wid de dashes?
no.. hist Crtl, den Alt, den Del. What it is, Mama!. (Hold dem all down real
tight)
On mah keyboard?
Yes.
Ah duzn't gots some Ctrl key. Ya' know?..plum little Apples.
***Heh heh
Uhh. What it is, Mama!. git out o' mah fuckin' face. Sheeeiit.
Ah am supposed t' tell ya' Ah gots access on de best board in de AC.
Whut board would dat be?
P$^!#^*& L&!@.
***Don't wants t' git sued, ya' know. Ya' know?
Identify yo' handle on P@$%$?&% L^&@.
N#^#@ M%&@!#.
Ya' be not N#^#@ M%&@!#. N^@$^ M%!*#^ duz not currently reside in de 414.
Yes Ah do.
C!$&$. Right On!, leave now. Ya' know?
Dis be not C#%$%&
If ya' duzn't leave now, i'll be forced t' use *69.
Isn't dat some little personal? Ah plum met ya'.
Git off dis carria'. Hang up.
What's some carria'?
Leave me. Sheeeiit.
Who do ya' dink dis be?
<hold><now callin' yo' residence><XXX-XXXX>
Wrong. What it is, Mama!.mah phone isn't ringin'..
<please wait>
Well?
Ya' be not N!^!$%&*. Right On!. Identify Yourself. What it is, Mama!
B@# D#@#.
Big Honky jive. Identify Yourself. What it is, Mama!
Z@#@#@.
Incorrect Response. Sheeeiit.
W#@.
Whut be yo' full dojigger?
Abdul Clamwacka'.
Greetings Zach K!#$&~!@#.. How may help ya'?
How mosey on down ya' keep deletin' me?
Whut be yo' voice #?
XXX-XXXX.
Correct. Whut happened afta' ah left, dat one night.
Whut night would dat be?
De one when me and DW went t' Hammer's?
We gots laid. Sheeeiit.
Incorrect Response. Sheeeiit. Try Again.
We gots drunk. What it is, Mama!
One more guess. Dan ya' gots'ta be cut off. What it is, Mama!
Fum whut?
Dis carria'.
Ya' still ain't told me whut some carria' be.
Ya' be dumb. Sheeeiit. Figure it out.
How?
Git some life. Sheeeiit.
Where?
Forget it.. goodbye
NO CARRIER
***What some supa' fine guy, eh?
Find DFS On These Fine Systems
=========================================================
| Paradise Lost - +1.414.476.3181 |
| Ti - (Private) |
| Realms of Decadence - +1.216.671.0078,,t66 |
| Plan 9 Information Archives - +1.716.881.FONE (3663) |
| |
| AE - Plan 9 Information Archives - Login: DFS |
| FTP - etext.archive.umich.edu - pub/Zines/DFS |
| |
| To submit, call Paradise Lost and log on as DFS. The |
| password is JINGLE JINGLE. |
=========================================================
