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Damned Fucking Shit Issue 35
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Damned Fucking Shit
Issue #35
Title: A Chat With Myself
Date: 6/27/94
By: Dementia Praecox
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*** A chat with myself ***
Hi. I was bored the other night.. so I logged onto a one node board,
went into the "Chat with other nodes" function, and had a chat with myself.
I saved it in capture format for your enjoyment. Here..
*--* 06-26-94 - 09:20:04pm *--*
Enter a new `topic' for Channel 15? (s00p3r ch1ck3n g03z +0 h3ll )
Press ESC to enter command mode.
(1) 0t+0:
Hi all.. How about some random quotes?..
ALL: "YAY!"
1. "Each time he straightened his pudgy knees, it became evident that he was
trembling."
2. "Whatever it was pressing against his anus, it wasn't flesh. It was cold
steel".
3. "Did you bring your dog collar and your muzzle, Nadine?"
4. "If you had to listen to six hours of this guy's bullshit, you'd be pushing
too."
5. "Suddenly, a stab of pain bore into the animal's skull, and the beast found
balance and movement difficult."
6. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
7. "But something was wrong."
8. "Did I tell you that my pumpkins rotted out from all the rain? Had to buy
a new one.
9. "Yes, I served honorably on active duty for more than 180 days,
continuously, between August 5, 1964, and May 7, 1975."
10. "Please complete all questions on this application as thoroghly as
possible."
11. "Thank you for abusing AT&T!"
12. "Perùver'siùty"
13. "Is it a video?!"
14. "But something was wrong."
15. "It's source, a human skeleton, strolls out from between the nearby trees
and saunters past the people."
16. "He smells like barley rained down, and left to rot in the fields."
17. "He could certainly get out of here with a few strong, sensible does."
18. "The porters insisted that any men foolish enough to go furthur would have
their bones broken, particularily their skulls."
19. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaarez Puppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"
20. "He wanted a female without an infant. An infant would create
difficulties."
21. "But something was wrong."
22. "Every day of my life, dog food!"
23. "Open it and find out, you lunatic!"
24. "AARRGGH! MFF! GNNK! I hate this game!"
25. "AHH!.. That's tighter! Pull the other way! The other way!"
26. "I've got yer inpho!"
27. "Jim, do you have any idea how much this call is costing?"
28. "But something was wrong."
29. "Air is good."
30. "The baby is coming, Sarah."
31. "All the better, now there's two of you."
32. "That's the last time I chase a bumper car."
33. "Yeah, I beat it, why?"
34. "A jagged splinter of plastic was lodged in one oozing eye."
35. "But something was wrong."
36. "This extraordinary fish will oftentimes seek shelter within the anus of a
nearby sea cucumber."
37. "His performance has been a good one.. he will receive much money, as well
as the bull's ears."
38. "Now call our new Psychic Master Line!"
39. "He did what to who?"
40. "What'choo talkin' bout, Willis?"
41. "But did you ever see a bell at a NIN concert?"
42. "But something was wrong."
43. "The doors opened partway, and a putrified corpse fell out of the elevator.
"
44. ">=>>((ø<"
45. "These inflatable pigs came flying out of the doghouses."
*--* 06-26-94 - 10:13:32pm *--*
At this point, I got bored. I was going to go onto 101.. but decided
to stop. Bye..
*** This has been another worthless submission to DFS ***
Find DFS On These Fine Systems
==========================================================================
| Paradise Lost +1.414.476.3181 DFS World HQ |
| Temporary Insanity +1.ITS.NOW.DOWN DFS Affiliate HQ |
| Plan 9 Information Archives +1.716.881.FONE (3663) DFS Southern HQ |
| Arrested Development +31.77.547477 DFS European HQ |
| Under World Element +1.203.740.9571 DFS Eastern HQ |
| 7th Heaven +1.216.464.6789 DFS Ohio HQ |
| Twilight Of The Idols +1.613.226.3386 DFS Canada HQ |
| |
| AE - Plan 9 Information Archives - Login: DFS |
| FTP - etext.archive.umich.edu - /pub/Zines/DFS |
| IRC - #DFS (Whenever Access Denied or Incarnate is on) |
| VMB - 1.800.298.6245, Box 3508 |
| |
| To submit, call Paradise Lost and log on as DFS. The password is: |
| JINGLE JINGLE |
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