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Damned Fucking Shit Issue 33
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Damned Fucking Shit
Issue #33
Title: The Game
Date: 6/7/94
By: Access Denied
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The Game
Dust flew across his face. He gazed out upon the dead world
that he once called home. Looking across the horizon he saw a
speck of light. His eyes ventured downward and he saw the
skeletons lying at his feet. He kicked at the skull of one and it
rolled into the deep chasm a few meters in front of him. Was this
the world he once called home? It couldn't be. But in his heart
he knew it was. He also knew that the terror that had befallen
this world was created by one person.
The skull rattled down the chasm. It made thumping noises as
it bounced off the walls. Hours passed and the sound finally died
away. The speck of light was bigger now. It was coming closer.
Light encompassed him. It surrounded him like the life of
something he once knew but had lost. It was him. He knew it to be
true because it had told him so. Yet, he was afraid. This light
wasn't alive, yet it was a living being. Fear overcame him and he
ran. Ran for his life. It was too late. The light was him and
they could never be separated. He then realized what he really
was.
He stood up. He journeyed across the destroyed landscape,
wandering through piles of dust and bones. He was the light. The
light was him. It had always been this way. In his wandering he
came to many conclusions, all irrelevant. He saw even closer into
himself. Darkness encompassed him and he wept. Not a tear for the
world that he had destroyed, but a tear for the time he had wasted
when he knew what he really was, that time being his entire life,
everything before that, and everything after.
So he had destroyed a world. What did he care? He knew what
he was and now no one could stop him. No one ever could stop him.
That was irony of the whole situation. He stopped his pitiful
weeping. He lied down for an eternal slumber. He could afford it.
Time was nothing to him. When he decided to wake up, everything
would be the same. Of course he would fix it. That was part of
the game. The game never ended. He was the game.
No! It was too easy. Nothing was that easy. He wouldn't let
it be that way. Why was this happening to him? He had done this
forever. It was his little game. Why was it this easy? There had
to be a catch somewhere. He wasn't so completely ignorant that he
couldn't figure that out. He painfully realized that there was
someone else. Someone more powerful. Someone who controlled him.
But why would this someone let him know about the someone? It
didn't work properly in his mind. It couldn't work this way.
Sleep never arrived for him. In an instant he was up again. Damn
this intolerable sunshine.
That was it. He wasn't the light. It was so disgustingly
obvious to him now. He wasn't the light! After all this time, he
felt betrayed. Why wasn't he the light? It just didn't work out.
The light was part of him. It always was. Always. It always
appeared on the horizon after he finished his game. He didn't know
why it was on the horizon. He took it as a given: After the game
is played, the light is there. No questions asked. It was just a
part of the game. But now he saw the light as it really was. Some
sort of a higher being. But why did he know this? Wouldn't a
higher being not let the lower ones know about itself? He would
never let the lower ones know what he was, especially during the
game. It was impossible. This light had to be stopped. It had
made a mistake. It shouldn't have let him know. Now it would be
destroyed.
He faced the light. It was now next to him, as if summoned.
Yes, it must be more powerful than he, it knew when to come. He
gazed at it. It wasn't just light this time. All the times before
it had been just been the light. Now it had shape. Nothing he
could describe, but it had shape. How he cursed it, so obviously
evil. One evil must always despise the other evil. Those were his
rules. But this evil didn't hate. It was beyond hate.
"Why do you appear to me now?" he addressed to it.
The light came closer.
"Why do you bother me? What have I done to you? You are the
evil so I hate you."
"Don't you know what I am?" it said in a quiet voice.
"No I don't. I don't care. I don't have to care. This is my
game. You don't exist. The rules do not allow it."
"I exist."
"You don't."
"You still do not know who I am?"
"If I knew, I would destroy you."
"You shall now know. I am you. The game is over. We are
one." it said in a tone that calmed him.
Indeed the game was over. They joined. This was nothing new
to him. It had happened every time before, and it had happened
every time after. He was the supreme power and the game continued.
Find DFS On These Fine Systems
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| Paradise Lost +1.414.476.3181 DFS World HQ |
| Temporary Insanity +1.ITS.NOW.DOWN DFS Affiliate HQ |
| Plan 9 Information Archives +1.716.881.FONE (3663) DFS Southern HQ |
| Under World Element +1.203.740.9571 DFS Eastern HQ |
| 7th Heaven +1.216.464.6789 DFS Affiliate |
| Twilight Of The Idols +1.613.226.3386 DFS Canada HQ |
| |
| AE - Plan 9 Information Archives - Login: DFS |
| FTP - etext.archive.umich.edu - /pub/Zines/DFS |
| IRC - #DFS (Whenever Access Denied or Incarnate is on) |
| |
| To submit, call Paradise Lost and log on as DFS. The password is: |
| JINGLE JINGLE |
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