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cult of the dead cat / cult of the disposable camera / cult of the drying cum-
stain / cult of the dead canary / cult of the dead chihuaha / cult of the dead
cadillac / concentrated drag:::::::::::::::::::cweenz / cult of the douche con
dom / cult of the dope cut /::XXXX::XXX::XXXX::cult of the dressed cabbage / c
ult of the dumb comedian / c::X:::::X::X:X:::::ult of the deadly carbonated_be
verage / cult of the dead ca::X:::::X::X:X:::::nine / cult of the dumb cow / c
ult of the disheiferist clep::XXXX::XXX::XXXX::/ cult of the duplicated copy /
clean dildos in a cab / cows:::::::::::::::::::drowning cows / cult of the dum
b cult / cult of the dildo that can / crowning dead corpses / cult of the disp
osable condom / cyber doodical c / can dogs croak? / cult of the dead cornflak
e / cult of the distinct color / cult of the dead crib / CULT OF THE DEAD CAT!
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_ __/|
\'X.X' Cult of the Dead Cat, Inc (c) 1992-1995
=(___)= Funky Assed Niggahz who fORGOT the Vaseline (c) 1992
U
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SEND ALL COMMENTS, QUESTIONS, ARTICLES, MEATLOAF, 'JESUS LOVES ME' STICKERS,
GIFS OF GRAYAREA'S OVARIES, HACKER PENISES, HACKER JEWISH CAPS, UPT'S PASS-
WORD FILES TO...
upt@bud.indirect.com
imedia@tdn.net
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CdC may be obtained the following places:
Unphamiliar Territory XXX-XXX-XXXX /pub/ae2/cdc_cat
Inertia XXX-XXX-XXXX conference 1, area 17
ftp.fc.net (ftp) /pub/defcon/CULT-OF-THE-DEAD-CAT
ftp.fc.net (ftp) /pub/deadkat/humor/CdC
tdn.net (ftp) /pub/CdC
or direct from invalid or grayarea
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The mailing list is gonna have to start from scratch. Mail me and I'll throw
you on the list... sorry about it not working yet but w00p!
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TODAY'S NET SAYING IS...
nothing.. we had no time to get one b1tch!
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CdC special issue!!! h0h0kahn review(s)
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phile cdci212.01
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_ __/|
\'x.X' Cult of the Dead Cat Communications (c) 1995
=(___)= dis b3 dah mayn3 CdC paluz!@# w0rd, h3r3'z da fyl3z nigga!@#
U
|
:
. "we reak 3lyt3n3$z" "we kick big fuk3n a$z 3v3ryday!@# mack!@"
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HoHoCon '94
December 29, 1994 - January 2, 1995
Ramada Inn South, Austin, TX
A Review, released to the Net on 1/25/95
By Netta "grayarea" Gilboa
I flew to Austin, TX after spending Christmas with some hacker friends.
I arrived a day early, unsure if the Con was gonna come off and how many
people would show if it did. HoHoCon had almost been cancelled this year
after someone called the original hotel and said a bunch of mean, evil
hackers were gonna descend on the hotel and that several federal agencies
would be sending feds there to monitor it. If you ask me, some kid's mom
said he couldn't go so he decided to try to make sure none of us could
either. Lame. It also taught me that everyone in this community has
enemies. Maybe someone just doesn't like Drunkfux. Supposedly, right after
this phone call the hotel got another, this time from Dateline NBC who
wanted permission to film the Con. Rumor had it the hotel panicked and
cancelled. The truth is that a regular client of theirs offered to pay
higher room rates and the hotel stood to make over $20,000 extra by
getting rid of us and having them there instead. So they used the phone
calls as an excuse. I can only imagine the hassles Drunkfux went
through to find another hotel that was empty on New Year's Eve weekend.
But Drunkfux came through with flying colors and when I got to the
hotel they told me other people had started to arrive. They gave me a
list of these people to look at, complete with their real names and room
numbers. It's possible they would even have xeroxed the list if I had
asked them to. Uncool. Even more uncool, almost shocking, was that the
hotel had a clipboard on the counter with people's real names, assigned
room number and credit card number complete with expiration date. It was
listed in alphabetical order and I was on the top page in the third spot.
I freaked. I told the woman behind the counter that she must move the
clipboard as some of the people coming specialized in attacking people's
credit and that I would surely be a target given my position on the list
and my all too well-known real name. She said okay but when I returned my
luggage cart, some twenty minutes later, it was still on the counter. I
told her again, nastier this time, to move it. An hour later she still had
not. I then asked to use a phone and was told there was one in my room and
another down the hall. I explained that I wanted to call right from the
counter to cancel my credit card and to call the national offices of Ramada
Inns to have her fired. In a nasty tone she told me she'd move the clipboard.
She did. However, the next day they threw the pages in the trash and, of
course, had the clipboard on the counter again with a new list of the people
due to check in that day. I argued with them again and they moved it. A few
hours later (surprise!) their trash was invaded and they went out and bought
two paper shredders. This was a good investment on their part although it's
a shame it took us to teach them that. If you intend to stay at a Ramada Inn
anywhere in the U.S., I would strongly advise you not to prepay with a credit
card. They can't be trusted with your data. We invite readers who may have
experienced credit card fraud after staying at Ramada Inns (or other hotels)
to contact us. It was a sobering lesson in how vulnerable the average person
is in society.
I had plans to hook up with Stormbringer and Holy Spirit, two virus
writers I love talking to. Stormbringer had recently retired from virus
writing after hearing from someone in Singapore who got infected with
one of his non-malicious viruses. I had read his retirement text file and
was anxious to talk to him about it. He assured me on the phone all was well
and they agreed to meet me at Mr. Wasabi for sushi and I ate more sushi
than I ever had before in one sitting. Then we walked to a coffee house
and they drove me back to my hotel around 1 a.m.
I was invited to Novocain and Particle's room so I headed up there and
ran into Veggie, Onkel Ditmeyer, Count Zero, Buckaroo, etc. Onkel showed
me his way cool laptop and I finally got to see what an IBM demo looks
like. These are programs which demonstrate the sound and graphics
capabilities of a computer. He copied a few of them on a disk for me along
with some electronic magazines I had never seen. Onkel is the author of a
well known phreaking program called Bluebeep. We spoke a lot over the
weekend and I found him brilliant, honest, charming and not afraid of
girls who know way less than him. He was one of the coolest people at
HoHoCon this year.
At 6 a.m. a few of us went downstairs for free breakfast and the
conversation turned to the various women who hang out on #hack. There
was some dissing of one girl who has slept her way around the scene and
in the past had given a number of hackers herpes without telling them
first. Eeks. I tried to get out of the guys I was eating with what she
had that I didn't (besides herpes). I message most of her old lovers on
IRC but none has ever made a pass at me. We talked about the other girls
on IRC, who has slept with whom, and how they got treated afterwards. We
talked about why people might have slept with those particular girls at
the time they did and I suddenly felt both very lucky and better about
myself that the one hacker I had slept with was a decent choice. Quality
might beat quantity. To know for sure, I guess I'd have to ask the girls
<wink>.
We picked up a bunch of food that was apparently not included in our
free breakfast coupon. The waitress didn't know how to handle it and
neither did we. I offered to put the food back and she finally agreed to
let us eat it. I suggested they put up a sign to warn others and, of
course, they didn't. Later I heard they let us all eat the bacon and other
food for the rest of the Con. I never made it back down there again even
though for American food it was pretty good. I was pretty tired and so
headed off to sleep when we were done chowing down.
I woke up Friday afternoon when Particle and Novocain knocked on the
door. They had a car and took me to a chinese restaurant nearby with a
killer buffet. When we got back there were many people in the lobby
listening to a tape of prank phone calls made by Phone Losers of America.
I wanted the tape bad as it seemed highly appropriate for us to review.
I was promised a copy which materialized in under an hour. W0rd! For all
the shit I take for it, there are advantages to being press.
I felt pretty comfortable with all of the people I was talking to and
since my room was very close to the lobby I invited everyone there and
even left the door open for others to enter my room (which almost
everyone who passed by did). It was kind of odd where they had situated
me. You could watch my door from the counter where people checked in. I
had asked for a smoking room but got dealt non-smoking instead. I
inquired about changing it and was told some crap about all the rooms
being accounted for already. It crossed my mind at the time that maybe
some feds had purposely put me there but I discounted my gut feeling and
remembered most hackers thought I was too paranoid about things. I told
people to go ahead and smoke in my room with no ashtray. They did. All
told about 15 people were in there and one of them pulled out a toy
to show me. It was a box that hooked up to your telephone which allowed
you to change your voice into that of a male, female or child. I had seen
these boxes before in catalogs. They sure work great! I made two calls
with it, one to a friend and one to my ex-husband. I snickered at how
surprised they'd be when they heard my message and later regretted not
telling either or them to save it so I could hear it back. Honestly,
playing with this legal box was every bit as cool as great drugs or sex.
I vowed to buy one. Watch out!
Talk turned to dinner and people started to leave my room. Particle was
the last one out and he showed me something about how the hotel room locks
worked. Hackers spend hours trying to figure out how things work and
although I had little interest in the subject it was clear Particle was
struck by the techonology and not the idea of breaking into someone's
room. I started to organize people who were willing to eat sushi. Just as
we were about to leave Particle and Novocain were gathering everyone into
a room to tell people to chill their behavior. It later turned out that
Particle had played with another lock after I made him stop touching
mine. He had the misfortune to be seen by a member of the Austin Police
Department who wisely agreed not to arrest him in exchange for Particle's
agreeing to talk to people in an attempt to curtail the usual HoHoCon
hotel destruction. I should have attended this talk although I had no
idea at the time why it was being organized. But I was starving and
the people I took to eat sushi were not those who would consider trashing
a hotel. Laughing Gas, Thumper27, Slyme, El_Jefe and I checked out Kyoto
sushi which was good but expensive for what you got. I spent part of dinner
wiping the free space on the hard drive on my laptop. I had never used
this feature before, but had been told about it at the con and it sounded
like something I should start doing regularly to protect other people's
privacy so that erased E-mail and articles were truly erased. It was a
good thing I had sushi to eat to keep me busy as it took a good twenty
minutes to do on a Pentium laptop with a 500+ meg hard drive.
When we got back to the hotel I ran into Drunkfux who had cut his
hair and dyed it bright red. I hardly recognized him but it looked great.
It was clear by the police presence in the lobby that the Con had
officially started. We were told that signs hung on room doors (I had
put up a copy of one of the magazine covers with a small piece of scotch
tape) would be taken down. This made it much harder for us to find each
other (I'd estimate we had 90% of the hotel's rooms) but so it goes.
Some people were told specifically that they could not use their modems
and for hours on Friday night the phone lines were so busy with modem
usage that there was no way to make an outgoing call or to receive an
expected incoming one. All sorts of security guards appeared. The ones
I spoke with were police officers too. I'd guess there were 1-3 dozen
around at all times and apparently hotel personnel were told they were
all on duty until we left and none of them were able to go home for the
rest of the weekend. I wish I could say this was utterly unwarranted.
But some lamer broke the lock on the door to the hotel's phone system.
And remember that another person had trashed the hotel's garbage and
must have made a mess or been spotted.
The hot party that night was in Erik Bloodaxe's room. Loki, Ice-9
and Ophie were staying with him and Loki was in charge of the door.
He made sure to keep me out just as he does when he acts like a bully
on IRC. I knew in my heart it was Loki's doing not ErikB's, but that
didn't stop me from getting majorly upset about it anyway. I went
downstairs to be alone and Particle knocked on the door a few minutes
later. I gave him a piece of my mind and then some about how shitty
some of those in the computer underground are. I went on for at least
an hour and drew great comfort from the fact Particle thought I was not
crazy and that things are as awful as they seem sometimes. Finally
he told me that since I kept claiming to love hackers despite all of the
grief, there were dozens of nice ones out there who would be thrilled to
talk to me if I'd only leave my room and go try to have a good time. W0rd.
I took his advice and had a good time in the lobby with the other rejects
from Bloodaxe's party. The conversation was so good it was hard to tear
away to go to sleep. I went to my room at 4:30 a.m., got under the covers,
thought about sleep for 10 seconds. Then I pulled out my laptop and wrote
a speech to deliver to the crowd the next day.
The two people I had counted on to wake me up didn't show and it was a
stroke of luck that made me jump up at 9:45. The speeches were supposed to
start at 10 a.m. and even though they surely wouldn't start till later I
was selling magazines and was due there pronto to claim my table. It took a
luggage cart to get all those magazines downstairs. I shudder to think what
my life will be like when I have 30 issues to lug around instead of six.
The folks from Fringeware were selling books and T-shirts and someone else
had old Atari game units and cartridges. People came by to say hi and to
buy magazines. I plugged my speech and told people not to dare miss it.
It was impressive that Drunkfux had gotten so many original speakers
on such short notice. They mostly said what the crowd wanted to hear and
shared thoughts on digital cash, the regulation of the Internet, recent
laws, etc. Damien Thorn showed a video clip to the tune of the current
rock hit "21st Century Digital Boy" which had cellular phones, scanners,
etc. in it. It's part of an upcoming video that looked awesome. Veggie
talked about dealing with the media after an old text file of his was
used to harass a BBS sysop who got more than twice Phiber's jail sentence
just for having a file around.
Someone sent Erik Bloodaxe to talk to me as part of my speech referred
to him. It was an uncomfortable talk and I was probably correct in feeling
that half the room was watching us and not whoever was speaking. I told
him he could pay me back in print or elsewhere but that I was going to
go ahead with what I planned to say and he surprised me by saying that
what I had written was fine and he even added to it. He also told me
that Loki had gotten too drunk and had been a pain in the ass to room
with the night before. He assured me that although way too many people
had been in his room, and way too many had tried to get in after it was
full, it had not been his intention to keep me out. I felt bad that I
even cared, and that he knew I cared, and that he and I even had to
discuss it. I was unhapy that he had no intention of staying to hear my
speech or the fight with Loki that he knew was coming but didn't
mention to me. We left things with the fact that we'd go out for dinner
or something the next night with Ophie (who also had an early flight)
after the bulk of the Con was over. It occured to me then it would never
happen because plans are hard to keep at Cons but I mentioned it in my
speech anyway.
My speech went over very well. It was about what's been going on at
Gray Areas since I spoke at HoHoCon last year. It was also about the
behavior of certain elements of the community and how that behavior has
affected me. And it was a stern warning about some busts that are coming
down. I know a few people got the message. I could tell from the gasps
and laughter at key points. But perhaps the highlight of the speech was
the confrontation between Loki and I when he chose to bully me before
anyone else could ask a question. I answered his accusations and managed
to do a decent job even with no warning. Whatever he hoped to accomplish
clearly wasn't working and from somewhere deep inside of me I found the
courage to ask the entire room to vote on whether or not they really
never wanted to see me on #hack again. The only vote opposed in a room of
about 250-300 people was Loki's. Hours later I regretted not thinking to
ask how many people never wanted to see Loki there again. Four people had
come up to me and told me they would have voted him out. Loki left the
room with his tail between his legs and ran to IRC. By the time I got on
hours later word had spread a story that I picked a fight with him and
he had won. The proof is in the videotape which will be available soon
from Drunkfux. It's highly recommended for both friends and foes of mine.
Drunkfux said demand for this portion of his footage was very high. I
promised to give him better footage and an even better speech next year.
Later Count Zero wrote this about my speech in Cult of the Dead Cow:
"Grayarea gets up and begins to read off a pre-prepared speech on her
laptop. Her speech is too quick for my alcohol-byproduct-sodden synapses
to register accurately. I keep staring at her dress...bright tie-dye...
mesmerizing...it's actually quite cool. Suddenly, Loki gets up in the
audience and the accusations fly back and forth between them. You kicked
me off IRC. You called my office at work. You are doing this, you are
doing that. Both are getting into this verbal slugfest in a major way.
I feel the bad karma in the room hanging heavy like blue-green cigar
smoke. "Can't we all just get along??" I yell, but noone seems to hear
me. I don't know who is right or wrong (it's probably somewhere in
between...the truth's always gray, right?), so I don't hypothesize. All I
do know is that I'd never want to piss off Grayarea...she's damn strong
on her convictions and won't take shit from anyone. I think she'd look
better up there wearing a big ol' leather jacket with studs...terminator
style. "One tends to assume that people wearing tie-dye gear are quiet,
meek, very soft spoken, non-confrontational types....it is a camoflage
that suits her well," I think. Bahaha! I liked your comments, Count Zero.
And I did hear you yell that.
After the speeches I sold more magazines thanks to Loki who
inadvertently made way more people interested in me. Bahahaha! Some of
them said they liked or loved my dress, some of them hugged me and some
of them signed up for subscriptions and gave me their data. I then
headed off for dinner at yet another sushi restaurant. Laughing Gas
and Slyme came again along with Mr. Spock who agreed to lose his sushi
virginity to me and jokingly said that way he'd get mentioned in my
review. I thought he was one of the three kewlest people I hung out with
at the Con. I hope I get to spend more time with him at a Con in the
future and I'd even be willing to go try his favorite type of food! The
sushi place we picked was awesome. I was sorry I hadn't found it
sooner. It's almost too bad HoHoCon will be in another city next year.
I also wanna mention the elite, Jak_Flack, who drove us to the restaurant
when cabs were scarce on New Year's Eve. He didn't want any sushi or
any money. He even got lucky and gave a ride to people who probably
would have done the same thing for him under the same circumstances.
Thanks.
After dinner I did what Drunkfux begged us not to do. I spent New
Year's Eve on IRC. I messaged Mr. Spock, in fact, who was typing from
the other side of the room. I also messaged some hackers I talk to all
the time. Some were lonely and glad to see me. I thought a lot about
loneliness. Some of us prefer to be with computers than people. Some of
us can open up more easily to people on a computer. And some of us need
computers around even when we're with other people. I was typing from an
account at hohocon.org and there were several people in the room having
fun with their "site" as X and Y tried repeatedly (and succeeded) to get
root there. I had never seen root before from the position of the person
protecting it. I should have paid way more attention but I got too caught
up in having conversations. I should also have paid more attention to the
people in the room with me. Loq and Fool were there and they seemed really
kewl but I got too lost in IRC. Oh well, at least I wasn't hopelessly
drunk. And I wasn't kicked or banned once. People were delicate with each
other on IRC. They were often drunk, vulnerable and more likely to reveal
things when conversing. Those who were on were more than willing to talk
to anyone who showed up. People apparently intend to make public the
hohocon.org logs. If they include IRC chats it would be very shallow. I
will never again take the chance and IRC from a Con again. Although I have
mostly come to terms with the fact that I am a semi-public figure and
people will always want to see whatever I type on the Net, but it's not
fair to expose the words of the people I messaged.
I dragged myself off IRC about 4:30 a.m. and went downstairs to clean
off one of the beds. Novocain and Particle had checked out of their room
and were gonna stay in my room for one night. I was thrilled at the idea
of having company. But when the bed was empty it looked tempting and I
lay down for the 90 minutes till I was due to meet them at the breakfast
buffet. Next thing I knew it was Sunday afternoon. Oops! I wondered where
they had slept. Apparently they hadn't wanted to wake me so they slept
in another room. I felt bad but at least their stuff had been safe which
is all you really care about at a Con. SORRY! Next time, guys, wake me.
I stumbled into the lobby and joined the conversations that were going
on. A hotel employee asked if we'd mind moving to the conference room and
we agreed. We figured the room was bugged just as the hotel phone lines
had been. But we weren't talking about anything secret and a few of the
hackers answered all of the questions asked by the cop/security guard who
hung out for about half of the time we were in there. It was a very fun
time there on the floor chatting with Voyager, Ophie, Onkel Ditmeyer, lgas,
Deadkat, Drunkfux, etc. There were way more people but I'm drawing a blank
on specifically who. I went upstairs to get more magazines and ran into
Bruce Sterling. He was growing facial hair and looked great. He said he
felt lousy which shows what I know. I hugged him before he said he felt
lousy. We talked about the book he is working on. Then Ophie and I went
off to be interviewed about female hackers and the treatment of women by
hackers. It could have used Cori and Noelle but it made some good points.
We came downstairs and I saw Drunkfux at work videotaping an interview
with the guys from TNO in Colorado. This was priceless footage of them
discussing how a group decides policies and handles politics and how they
have applied political thought to hacking. I was sorry I had missed half
of it and sorry I had spent so much time socializing with them that it
had never occured to me I didn't know much about their group and I should
have interviewed them too. I hope Drunkfux includes every word of their
interview in the video.
Ophie brought up the idea of photos and so I grabbed my camera.
Everyone there got into it and I got a whole roll of film of people
hugging and kissing me, looking at porn mags with Ophie and generally
playing around somehow. They came out great. If you want yours passed
around or published, let me know. Until then, they're private.
Slyme and I headed back to Mr. Wasabi for dinner but to our surprise
it was closed! New Year's day turned out to be a bad day to try to find
places open to serve food. We should have stayed at the hotel. We finally
ended up in a bar which served food, ordered hot chocolate and consoled
ourselves on the lack of sushi. Back at the hotel a bunch of us went
room hopping and tried to determine who was left. My flight was at 7 a.m.
and I had no intention of going to sleep and taking a chance I would miss
it. Several people had flights at 8 and 10 a.m. Others were staying on
for 3 more days to get better airfare rates. I heard ErikB had left with
Ophie and he told me later they had asked the hotel and had been told I
checked out. One room we ended up in had a console copier running. I had
heard about them but never seen one and was told it was okay if I
photographed it. I went downstairs for my camera.
I hadn't been alone once since arriving in Austin. While this wasn't
always planned, the thought did occur to me that my room might be watched
and that law enforcement might be interested in any of the many people
I was seen talking to. I had mentioned a controversial interview we had
coming up with ILF and although I thought I was being overly paranoid, I
was still nervous I would be questioned about it. But it was 12:30 a.m.
or so and I felt too silly asking for someone to run downstairs with me.
So I went alone. But as I was closing the door and checking it was locked
I saw someone head down the hall towards me and I knew instantly something
was about to be up. Hackers are right when they say you can't fully
understand this until you have lived it. He asked if I was Netta and I
said yes and then he reached towards his pocket. I knew he was going for
either a gun or a badge and there was nothing I could do about either.
It turned out to be a badge and as he got close enough so that I could
see it read "Austin Police Department" I thought to myself "Kewl, it's
not the Secret Service." He asked me to accompany him to a room and,
holding my camera, I did. He told the two "security guards" that we'd be
leaving the door open. I had asked whether he was the guy who had
called me last March and he said no that he was his partner. I wondered
whether I was under investigation or whether they had no one else to ask
for information or whether they just wanted to meet me after talking to
me voice. It didn't occur to me to ask. I thought several times about the
fact I was supposed to be out with Bloodaxe and Ophie and that if I had
made it a point to leave with them this wouldn't be happening. I wondered
who else APD had questioned who had not told anyone. I wondered if they had
even questioned someone about me. I also feared people would come looking
for me and see me in that room and think I was talking to the police
voluntarily. That I had sought them out. God forbid they should think I
was telling the police about the console copier.
The whole thing only took about 8 minutes and the officer asked me
nothing I had a problem answering. He treated me with respect and didn't
press me to say anything I wasn't comfortable saying. I offered to give
him some of my magazines at the end of the conversation and he walked me
to my room and was clearly planning to wait outside. I invited him in and
he watched me pull issues from three suitcases. It was apparent nothing
illegal had gone on in my room. I'd lay odds it was the cleanest room
there too. The day before, for example, my trash in the bathroom had
been dumped at least three times. None were by me or when I was in the
room. The only thing I couldn't answer, and it was simply from nerves,
was what I had done on New Year's Eve. The answer came out that I didn't
remember and since I stammered it, it must have looked like I had seen or
done something I shouldn't have. But all I did was IRC and eat sushi and
I do that so often I didn't even remember when asked. New Year's Eve had
been almost like any other night.
Anyway, I got the console copier photo (hint: I could use a detailed
article on how they work to run with it). We then moved on to other rooms
and I ran into Drunkfux and Damien Thorn. I did a long video interview
with Drunkfux, who would have made an excellent journalist. He resisted
the idea of asking me petty questions about who I like and don't like in
the scene and who I'd sleep with if I could. I would have answered
anything he asked in the spirit of the HoHoCon video tradition, but
instead we got into more serious issues and people who think Drunkfux is
shallow or a less-than-serious dude due to his IRC reputation will be most
surprised.
Then Damien did an equally long interview and Drunkfux got eleet footage
of me closing my eyes when the talk got too technical. I did almost pass
out as it was 3 a.m. or so and I felt really comfortable being with them
but I snapped to attention just in the nick of time as Drunkfux had the
camera aimed on me and Damien was making a joke. Damien took it in stride
but I think it was the first time anyone had ever had the chance to listen
to his most eleet technical tips and was bored. I hope he knows I love him,
like most hackers, for the person he is and not for the skills or trophies
he has. I was transfixed as he told Drunkfux his beginnings in the computer
underground and his views on laws, ethics, writing, etc. I just don't lust
to know what model of phones he respects most or what gadget he's tested
last. Luckily for you, Drunkfux did the interview, not me, and he did ask
lots on that sort of stuff. After they were done Damien and I went out to
some fast food burger joint. It was dirt cheap and tasted like cardboard.
We had a great chat, as usual, and then went to the airport with Slyme who
had slept the night away and missed everything. My flight was first and
they walked me to the gate and made a fuss over me and it was the perfect
ending.
I can't believe I now have to wait till June (and go to Georgia, of
all places) to see some of you again. Oh well. In the meantime, happy
Valentine's Day to you and whoever you netsex and/or fantasize about.
Happy April Fool's Day in advance too. Just prank someone else this year,
okay? <grin>.
(Sample issues of Gray Areas are $7.00 each (U.S.) and $10.00 each
(foreign) from: Gray Areas, Inc. P.O. Box 808, Broomall, PA 19008.
E-mail addresses are: grayarea@well.sf.ca.us or grayarea@netaxs.com or
grayarea@mindvox.phantom.com. PGP key is below. Use it.)
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phile cdci212.02
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_ __/|
\'x.X' Cult of the Dead Cat Communications (c) 1995
=(___)= dis b3 dah mayn3 CdC paluz!@# w0rd, h3r3'z da fyl3z nigga!@#
U
|
:
. "we reak 3lyt3n3$z" "we kick big fuk3n a$z 3v3ryday!@# mack!@"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
H0H0K0N '94
DECEMBER 29, 1994 - JANUArY 2, 1995
RAMaDA INN S0uTH, AUStIN, TX
A REVIEW, RELEAsED T0 ThE NET 0N 1/25/95
BY NETTA "GrAyAREA" GiLB0A
I FLEw T0 AUsTIN, TX AFTER SPENDING CHRISTMAZ WiTH S0ME HaCKER FRiENDS.
I ARRIvED A DaY EARLY, UNSURE IF THE K0N WAZ G0NnA K0ME 0Ff AND H0w MANY
PE0PLE W0ULD sH0W IF IT DID. H0H0K0N HAD ALM0ST bEEN CANcElLED tHIz YEAR
AFTEr S0ME0nE CALLED THE 0RIGINAL H0TEL AND SAiD A BUNcH 0F MeAN, EVIL
HACKERZ WERE G0NNA DESCEND 0N THE H0TEL AND THAT sEVERAL fEdERAL AGeNCIEZ
W0ULD BE SENDING FEDZ THErE T0 m0NIt0R IT. IF Y0U ASK ME, S0Me KID'Z M0M
SAId He K0ULDN'T G0 S0 hE DECidED T0 TRY T0 MAKe SURE N0NE 0F UZ K0ULD
eIThER. LAME. IT ALS0 TAUGht Me THAT EVERY0Ne IN THIZ K0mMUNITY HAZ
ENEMIES. MaYBE S0ME0NE jUST D0ESN't LiKE DRUNKFUX. SUPP0SEDLY, rIGHT AFTER
THIz Ph0NE CALL THE H0TeL G0T aN0tHER, THIZ TIMe FR0M DATELiNE NBC WH0
WANtED PERMISSI0N T0 FIlM THE k0N. RUM0R HAD IT THE H0TEL PaNICKED AND
CANcELlED. THE TRUTh IZ THAT a REgULAR CLIENT 0f THEIRZ 0FFeRED T0 PAY
hIGhER R00M RATEz ANd THE h0TEl ST00D T0 MAKe 0VER $20,000 EXTRA BY
GETTiNG RID 0F UZ ANd HAvING TheM tHERE INSTEAD. S0 THEY USEd THE PH0NE
cALLZ AZ AN ExCUSe. I Can 0nLY IMAGINE THe HASSLEZ DRuNKFUX WENT
THR0UGh T0 FIND AN0tHER H0TEL tHAt WAZ EMPTY 0N NEW YEAR'Z EVE WEEKEND.
BUt DRUNKFUX CAmE ThR0UGH wITh FLYING K0L0Rz AND WHEN I G0T T0 THE
H0tEL THEY T0LD ME 0THeR PE0plE hAD STARTED T0 ARRIVE. THEy GAVE ME A
LIST 0F tHESE PE0PLE t0 L00K AT, K0mPLETE WITH THeIR REAL NAMeZ AND R00M
NUmBErS. IT'Z P0SSiBLE THEY w0ULd EVEN HAVE XEr0XED THE LIsT IF I HAD
ASKeD tHEM T0. UNK00L. EVEN M0rE uNK00L, ALM0ST SH0CKING, WaZ THAT THE
H0TEl HaD A CLIPB0ARd 0N THE K0uNTeR WITH PE0PLE'Z REAL NAMEs, ASSIGNED
R00M nUMbER AND CREDIt CArD NUMbeR k0MPLETE WITH eXPIRATI0N DaTE. IT WAZ
LISTED IN ALPHABETICAL 0RDeR AND I WaZ 0N THE T0P pAGE IN THE tHIRD SP0T.
I fREaKED. I T0LD tHE w0MAN beHInD THE K0UNTER THAT SHE MUsT M0VE THE
CLIPB0ARd AZ S0ME 0F tHE pE0PLE k0MiNG SPECIALIZEd IN ATTACKInG PE0PLE'Z
CREDIt AnD THAT I W0UlD SuRELY be A TARGET GIVEN mY P0SITI0N 0N THE LIST
AND MY ALl T00 WELL-KN0WN rEAL NamE. SHE SAID 0KAY BUT WHEN I rETURNED MY
LUGGaGE CART, S0ME TwENTy MINUteZ lATER, IT WAZ sTILL 0N THE K0UNTER. I
T0LD HEr AgAIN, NASTIER THIz TIME, T0 M0VE IT. AN H0UR LATER SHe STILL HAD
N0T. I tHEn ASKED T0 USe A pH0NE anD wAZ T0LD THERE WAZ 0NE IN mY R00M AND
AN0ThER D0WN THE HALl. I EXPLAinED THAT I WANTED T0 CALL RIGhT FR0M THE
K0UNTER t0 cANCEL MY CREdIT cARD And T0 CALL THE NATi0NAL 0FFICEz 0F RAMADA
INNZ T0 HAvE hER FIRED. IN A NaSTY T0nE sHE T0LD ME SHe'D M0VE THE CLIPB0ARD.
SHE DiD. H0WEVER, THE NEXt DAY thEY THREW THE PAGeZ IN THE TRaSH AND, 0F
K0URSE, HaD tHE CLIPB0ARD 0N tHE K0unTEr AGAIN WITH A NEW LIST 0F THE PE0PLE
DUE T0 ChECk IN THAT DAY. I aRGUED wITh THEM AGAIN AnD THEY M0VEd IT. A FEW
H0URZ LATeR (SURPRISE!) ThEIR TRASH wAZ INVADED AND ThEY WENT 0UT AND B0UGHT
TW0 PAPEr ShREDDERS. THIz WAz A G00d InVESTMENT 0N ThEIR PART ALtH0UGH IT'Z
A SHAME It T00K UZ T0 TEAcH ThEM THat. IF Y0U INTEND t0 STAY AT A RAMADA INN
ANYWHERE In ThE U.S., I W0uLD sTR0NGly AdVISE Y0U N0T t0 PREPAY WItH A CREDIT
CARD. ThEY CAN'T BE TRUsTED WITH y0UR DATA. WE INVItE READERZ Wh0 MAY HAVE
EXPERIENCeD cREDIT CARD FrAUD AFTER sTAyING AT RAMADA INNZ (0R 0ThER H0TELS)
T0 K0NTACt Us. IT WAZ A S0BERiNG LEss0N IN H0W VULNERaBLE THE AVErAGE PERS0N
IZ IN S0CIETY.
I HaD PLANZ T0 H00K uP WITh ST0RMBRINGER AND H0LY SPIRIT, TW0 VIRUZ
WRITeRZ I L0VE TALKInG T0. ST0rmBRiNGER HAD RECEnTLY RETIRED FR0M VIRUZ
WRiTInG AFTER HEARiNG fR0M S0mE0nE IN SINGAP0Re WH0 G0T INfECTED WITH
0NE 0F HIz N0N-MALICI0uZ ViRUSES. I hAD READ HIZ ReTIREMENT TExT FILE AND
WAZ ANXI0uZ t0 TALK T0 HIm AB0UT IT. HE ASSURED ME 0N THE PH0NE AlL WAZ WELL
AND tHEy AGREED T0 MeET mE AT Mr. WASABI F0R SUShI AND I ATE M0RE SUSHI
THAN I eVER HAD BEF0rE In 0NE siTTiNG. THEN WE WaLKED T0 A K0FFEE H0USE
AnD THEy DR0VE ME BACK T0 MY H0TEL AR0UND 1 A.M.
I WaZ iNVITED T0 N0v0CAiN AND PARtICLE'Z R00M S0 I HEADED Up THERE AND
RAN InT0 VEGGIE, 0NKEl DItMEYER, K0uNT ZER0, BUCKaR00, ETC. 0nKEL SH0WED
ME hIZ WAY K00L LAPt0P aND I fiNAlLY G0T T0 SEE WHAT AN IBM DEM0 L00KZ
LiKE. THESE ARe PR0GRAMZ wHIcH DEM0NSTRATE THE S0UND AnD GRAPHICZ
CAPABILiTIeZ 0F A K0MPUtER. HE K0piED A FEW 0F THEM 0N A DISK F0R ME AL0NG
WITH S0ME ELECTR0NIC MaGAZiNEZ I hAD NEVER SEEN. 0nKEL IZ THE aUTH0R 0F A
WElL kN0WN PHREAKInG Pr0GRAM cALlED BLUEBEEP. WE SP0KE A L0T 0VER THE
WEeKEnD AND I F0UNd HIm BRILliANt, H0NEST, CHArMING AND N0t AFRAID 0F
GIrLZ WH0 KN0W WAY LESz THAN hIM. HE WAZ 0NE 0f THE K00LESt PE0PLE AT
H0H0K0n THIZ YEAR.
AT 6 A.M. A FeW 0f UZ WenT d0WNSTAIRZ F0R FREE BREAKFaST AND THE
K0nVErSATI0N TURNEd T0 THE VarI0uZ W0MEN WH0 HaNG 0UT 0N #hACK. THERE
WAZ s0Me DISSING 0F 0NE gIRL Wh0 HaZ SLEPT HER WaY AR0UND THe SCENE AND
IN THe PAST HAD GIvEN a NUMBer 0f HACKERZ HERPeZ WITH0UT TeLLING THEM
FIRsT. EEKS. I TRIEd T0 GET 0ut 0f THE GUYZ I WaZ EATING WItH WHAT SHE
HAD tHAt I DIDN'T (BeSIDeZ HERpeS). I MESSAGE M0sT 0F HER 0Ld L0VERZ 0N
IRC BuT n0NE HAZ EVER MADe A PAsz At ME. WE TALKEd AB0UT THE 0THER GIRLZ
0N IRC, wH0 HAZ SLEPT WITh WH0M, ANd H0W THEY G0T TREATED AFTeRWARDS. WE
TALKeD aB0UT WHY PE0pLE mIGHT haVE SLEPT WITH TH0SE PARTICULaR GIRLZ AT
THE TImE THEY DID AnD I SUDDEnlY fELT B0TH VERY LUCKY AND BeTTER AB0UT
MYSELf ThAT THE 0NE HaCKEr I HAd SLePT WITH WAZ A DECENT CH0IcE. QUALITY
MIGHT BEaT QUANTITY. T0 Kn0W F0r SUrE, I GUESZ I'd HAVE T0 ASk THE GIRLZ
<WINK>.
We PiCKED UP A BUnCH 0F F00d THaT WAZ APPARENtLY N0T INCLuDED IN 0UR
FrEE BREAKFAST K0uP0N. THE waITrESZ DIDN'T KN0W H0W T0 HAnDLE IT AND
NEITHeR dID WE. I 0FFeRED T0 PUt THe F00D BACK ANd SHE FINALLy AGREED T0
LeT uZ EAT IT. I sUGGeSTED thEY PUT UP A SIGN T0 WARN 0THeRZ AND, 0F
K0URSE, THeY DIDN'T. LAtER I HEARd THeY LET UZ ALL eAT THE BAK0n AND 0THER
F00D f0R THE REST 0F tHE k0N. I nEVeR MADE IT BACk D0WN THERE AGAIN EVEN
TH0uGH F0R AMERICAN F00d IT Waz PrETTY G00D. I wAZ PRETTY TiRED AND S0
HEAdED 0Ff T0 SLEEP WHEN WE WERE D0NE Ch0WING D0WN.
I W0kE UP FRIDAY aFTErN00N whEN PARTICLE AND N0V0CAIN KN0cKED 0N THE
D00r. THEY HAD A CAr ANd T00K mE t0 A CHINESE ReSTAURANT NEaRBY WITH A
kILlER BUFFET. WhEN wE G0T bACk THERE WERE MaNY PE0PLE In THE L0BBY
LISTENiNG T0 A TAPE 0F PRAnK PH0ne CaLLZ MADE BY Ph0NE L0SERZ 0F AMERICA.
I WAnTEd THE TAPE BAd AZ IT SEemED HIGHLY APPR0PrIATE F0R UZ T0 REVIEW.
I WAZ PR0MISED A K0PY WHIcH MATerIAlIZED IN UNDER AN H0UR. W0rD! F0R ALL
THE SHIT I TAkE F0R iT, THERE ARE ADVaNTAGEZ T0 BeING PRESS.
I fELt PRETTY K0MF0RTAbLE WIth AlL 0F THE PE0PlE I WAZ TALkING T0 AND
SINcE mY R00M WAZ VeRY cL0SE t0 ThE L0BBY I INViTED EVERY0Ne THERE AND
EvEN LEFT THE d00R 0PEN f0R 0THERZ T0 ENTEr MY R00M (WhICH ALM0ST
EVERy0Ne WH0 PASSED bY DiD). It WAz KIND 0F 0DD wHERE THEY HaD SITUATED
ME. Y0U K0ULD WATCH mY D00R FR0m ThE K0UNTER WHErE PE0PLE CHeCKED IN. I
HaD ASKED F0R a SM0KING r00M BUT G0T DEALT N0N-SM0KING INSTEAD. I
INqUIrED AB0UT CHAnGINg IT And WaZ T0LD S0ME CrAP AB0UT ALl THE R00MZ
BEInG aCK0UNTED F0R ALReADY. It Cr0SSED MY MIND AT THE TIME THAT MAYBE
S0ME fEDz HAD PURP0SElY PuT ME thERe BUT I DISK0UnTED MY GUT fEELING AND
REMEmBErED M0ST HACKeRZ tH0UGHt I wAZ T00 PARAN0iD AB0UT THInGS. I T0LD
PE0pLE T0 G0 AHEAD aND sM0KE in My R00M WITH N0 ASHTRAY. THeY DID. ALL
T0lD AB0UT 15 Pe0PLe WERE iN tHERE AND 0NE 0F THEM PULLeD 0UT A T0y
T0 Sh0W ME. IT WAZ A B0X THAT h00KeD UP T0 Y0UR tELEPH0NE WHiCH ALL0WED
Y0U T0 CHaNGE Y0UR V0IcE InT0 THat 0f A MALE, FEMAlE 0R CHILD. I HAD SEEN
THEsE b0XEZ BEF0RE iN CaTAL0Gs. ThEY SURE W0RK gREAT! I MADe TW0 CALLZ
WItH iT, 0NE T0 A fRIEnD AND 0NE T0 MY EX-HUSBaND. I SNICKeRED AT H0W
SURpRIsED THEY'D BE WHEn THEY hEArD MY MESSAGE aND LATER REgRETTED N0T
TeLLiNG EITHER 0R THEm T0 SavE iT S0 I K0ULD hEAR IT BACK. H0NESTLY,
PLAYInG wITH THIZ LEGaL B0X WAZ eVErY BIT AZ K00L AZ GREAT DRuGZ 0R SEX.
I V0WEd T0 BUY 0NE. WATCH 0UT!
TALK TUrNED T0 DINNEr ANd PE0Ple StARTED T0 LEAVe MY R00M. PaRTICLE WAZ
THE LASt 0nE 0UT AND HE SH0wED ME s0MeTHING AB0UT H0W THE H0TEL R00M L0CKZ
W0RKeD. HACKERZ SpEND H0URZ tRYiNG T0 FIGURE 0UT H0W THINgZ W0RK AND
ALTH0uGH I HAD LITTLE INTeREST in ThE SUBJECT IT wAZ CLEAR PArTICLE WAZ
STrUCk BY THE TECH0N0L0GY ANd N0t THE IDEA 0F bREAKING INT0 S0ME0NE'Z
R00M. I StARTED T0 0RGaNIZe PE0Ple Wh0 WERE WILLINg T0 EAT SUShI. JUST AZ
WE WERe Ab0UT T0 LEAVE PARtICLE anD N0V0CAIN WERE gATHERING EVeRY0NE INT0
A R00M t0 TELL PE0PLe T0 CHILL tHEiR BEHAVI0R. It LATER TURNeD 0UT THAT
PaRTiCLE HAD PLAYeD WiTH AN0tHEr L0CK AFTER I MADE HIM ST0P T0UCHING
MINE. He HAD THE MISf0RTuNE T0 bE sEEN BY A MEMBeR 0F THE AUsTIN P0LICE
DEPARTmENt WH0 WISELY aGREeD N0T t0 aRREST HIM IN eXCHANGE F0R PARTICLE'Z
AGrEEiNG T0 TALK T0 PE0PLE In AN ATTEMPT T0 CUrTAIL THE USuAL H0H0K0N
H0tEL DESTRUCTI0N. I Sh0ULD haVE ATTENDED THIZ TALK ALTH0UgH I HAD N0
IDeA AT THE TIMe WHy IT Waz BeING 0RGANIZED. BUT I WAZ sTARVING ANd
THE PE0PLe I T00K T0 EaT SuSHI WerE n0T TH0SE WH0 w0ULD K0NSIDeR TRASHING
A H0TeL. LAUGHING GAS, THuMPER27, SlYME, EL_JEFE aND I CHECKEd 0UT KY0T0
SUSHI WHiCH WAZ G00D BUT EXPeNSIVE f0R WHAT Y0U G0T. I SPENT PARt 0F DINNER
WIPiNG THE FREE SPAcE 0n THE haRD DRIVE 0N MY LaPT0P. I HAD NEVER USED
THIZ FeATuRE BEF0RE, BuT HaD BEEn T0lD AB0UT IT AT THE K0N AND IT S0UNDED
LIKE S0mETHING I SH0uLD sTART d0INg REGULARLY T0 PR0TECT 0THeR PE0PLE'Z
PRIvACy S0 THAT ERAsED E-MAIL aND ARTICLEZ WERE TRULY ERASEd. IT WAZ A
G00d ThING I HAD SUsHI t0 EAT t0 kEEP ME BUSY Az IT T00K A g00D TWENTY
MINUTEZ T0 D0 0N A PeNTiUM LAPT0P WITh A 500+ MEG HARD DRIVE.
WhEN WE G0T BAcK T0 THE h0TEl I RAN INT0 DrUNKFUX WH0 hAD CUT HIZ
HAIR AnD dYED IT BRIGHt REd. I HarDLy REK0GNIZED HiM BUT IT L00KED GREAT.
It WAZ CLEAR By THe P0LIce PrESENCE IN THE L0BBY THAT tHE K0N HAD
0FfICiALLY STARTED. WE WERE t0LD THAT SIGNZ HUnG 0N R00M D00RZ (I HAD
PUT Up A K0PY 0F 0NE 0F ThE MAGazINe K0VERZ WITH a SMALL PIECe 0F SK0TCH
TAPE) W0ULD BE TAKEN D0Wn. THIz MAdE IT MUCH HARdER F0R UZ T0 FIND EACH
0tHEr (I'D ESTIMAtE We HAD 90% 0F THE H0TEL'Z R00MS) BUT s0 IT G0ES.
S0ME PE0PLE WERE T0Ld SPeCIFICalLY THAT THEY K0UlD N0T USE ThEIR M0DEMZ
ANd F0R H0URZ 0N FrIDAy NIGHt THe PH0NE LINEZ wERE S0 BUSY WITH M0DEM
USaGE THAT THERE WaZ N0 WAY t0 MaKE AN 0UTG0INg CALL 0R T0 RECEIVE AN
EXPeCTeD INK0MING 0nE. ALL S0rtZ 0F SECURITY GUaRDZ APPEAREd. THE 0NEZ
I SP0KE WITH WERE P0LiCE 0FfiCErZ T00. I'D GUeSZ THERE WErE 1-3 D0ZEn
AR0uND AT ALL TIMEZ AND APPARenTLy H0TEL PERS0NnEL WERE T0Ld THEY WERE
ALL 0N dUTY UNTIL WE LEFt AND n0NE 0F THEM WERE aBLE T0 G0 H0ME F0R THE
REsT 0F THE WEEKENd. I WISH I K0uLD SAY THIZ WaZ UTTERLY UnWARRANTED.
BUT S0mE LAMER BR0Ke THe L0CK 0N tHE D00R T0 THe H0TEL'Z PH0NE SYSTEM.
AnD rEMEMBER THAT AN0tHER PerS0n HAD TRASHED tHE H0TEL'Z gARBAGE AND
MuST HAVE MADE a MESZ 0R BEeN SP0TTED.
ThE H0T PARTY tHAT NIGHT wAZ IN ERIK BL00DaXE'Z R00M. L0KI, ICE-9
aND 0PHIE WERE StAYInG WITh HIm AND L0KI WAZ IN CHARGE 0f THE D00R.
HE MAdE SURE T0 KEeP Me 0UT juST AZ HE D0EZ WHeN HE ACTZ LiKE A BULLY
0n IRC. I KNEW IN MY hEART it WaZ L0KI'Z D0INg N0T ERIKB's, BUT THAT
DiDN'T ST0P ME FR0m GETTinG mAJ0RLY UPSET aB0UT IT ANYwAY. I WENT
D0wNStAIRZ T0 BE Al0NE AND ParTIcLE KN0CKED 0N THE D00R A fEW MINUTEZ
lATeR. I GAVE HIm A pIECE 0f My MIND AND THEn S0ME AB0UT H0W SHITTY
S0mE 0F TH0SE IN ThE K0MPUTEr UNdERGR0UND ARE. I WENT 0N F0R AT LEAST
AN H0UR AND DREW GREaT K0MF0RT fR0m THE FACT PARtICLE TH0UGHt I WAZ N0T
CrAZY AND THAT THInGZ ARe AZ AWFUL AZ THEY SEEM S0METImES. FINALLy
HE T0lD mE THAT SINCE I KePT CLaiMInG T0 L0VE HACkERZ DESPITE ALL 0F THE
GRIEF, ThERE WERE D0ZeNZ 0F NICe 0NeZ 0UT THERE Wh0 W0ULD BE tHRILLED T0
TALK T0 ME IF I'D 0NLY lEAVe MY R00M aND G0 TRY T0 hAVE A G00D tIME. W0RD.
I T00K HIz ADVICE AND hAD a G00D tIMe IN THE L0BBY WITH THE 0ThER REJECTZ
FR0M BL00DAXE'Z PARTy. ThE K0NveRSaTI0N WAZ S0 G00D IT WAZ HaRD T0 TEAR
AWAY T0 G0 T0 SLEEP. I wENT T0 MY r00m AT 4:30 A.M., G0T UNDER tHE K0VERS,
TH0UGHt Ab0UT SLEEP F0r 10 SEK0Nds. THEN I PULLED 0UT MY LAPT0p AND WR0TE
A SPeeCH T0 DELIVER T0 THE CR0WD ThE NEXT DAY.
THe Tw0 PE0PLE I HaD K0UNTED 0N t0 WAKE ME UP dIDN'T SH0W aND IT WAZ a
STR0KE 0F LUCK THAT MAdE Me JUMP uP aT 9:45. THE SpEECHEZ WERE SUPP0SED T0
START AT 10 A.M. AND eVEN TH0UGh THeY SURELY W0ULdN'T START TiLL LATER I
WAZ SELlINg MAGAZINEZ AnD WaZ DUE tHErE PR0NT0 T0 ClAIM MY TABLe. IT T00K a
LUGGAGE CArT T0 GET ALL TH0sE MAGazINeZ D0WNSTAIRS. I SHUDDER T0 THINK WHAt
MY LiFE WILL BE LIKE WHEn I HAve 30 ISSUEZ T0 LUg AR0UND INStEAD 0F SIX.
THE F0lKZ FR0M FRINGEWaRE wERE SelLInG B00KZ AND T-SHIRTZ AND s0ME0NE ELSe
HAD 0lD ATARI GAME UNiTZ aND CArtRIdGES. PE0PLE CaME BY T0 SAy HI AND T0
BUY mAGaZINES. I PLUgGED MY SPeeCH AND T0LD PE0PlE N0T T0 DArE MISZ IT.
It WaZ IMPRESSIVE THAt DRUNkfUX HAD G0TTEN S0 MANY 0RIGINaL SPEAKERZ
0N SUcH sH0RT N0TICE. THEy M0STly SaID WHAT THE Cr0WD WANTED t0 HEAR AND
SHAReD tH0UGHTZ 0N DiGITaL CASh, ThE REGULATI0N 0F THE INTERnET, RECENT
LAWs, eTC. DAMIEN Th0RN SH0WEd A vIDE0 CLIP T0 tHE TUNE 0F tHE CURRENT
R0CK hIT "21ST CENTURy DIgITAL B0Y" WHICH HAD CELlULAR PH0NES, SCANNERS,
ETC. In IT. IT'Z PArT 0f AN Upk0MiNG VIDE0 THAT L00KED AWES0ME. VEGGIE
TAlKEd AB0UT DEALInG WiTH THe MEdIA AFTER AN 0lD TEXT FILE 0F HIZ WAZ
USED T0 HaRASZ A BBZ SyS0P WH0 G0t M0RE THAN TWICE PHIBER'Z JAiL SENTENCE
JUST F0R HAVING A fILE AR0UND.
S0Me0Ne SENT ERIK Bl00DaXE T0 tALk T0 ME AZ PARt 0F MY SPEEcH REFERRED
T0 HIM. IT WAZ AN UNK0Mf0RTaBLE TalK aND I WAZ PR0BaBLY K0RRECT IN FEELING
THAT HAlF THE R00M WaZ WaTCHINg UZ AND N0T WH0EVeR WAZ SPEAKiNG. I T0LD
HIM HE K0ULD PAY ME BACk IN PriNT 0R ELSEWHERE bUT THAT I WaZ G0ING T0
G0 aHEaD WITH WHAT I PLaNNED t0 SaY AND HE SURPrISED ME BY sAYING THAT
WhAT I HAD WRITTEn WAz FINE aND HE EVEN ADDED T0 IT. HE AlS0 T0LD ME
THaT L0KI HAD G0TTeN T00 DRUnk AnD HAD BEEN A pAIN IN THE aSZ T0 R00M
WITh ThE NIGHT BEF0rE. HE ASSurED ME THAT ALTH0uGH WAY T00 mANY PE0PLE
HAD bEEn IN HIZ R00M, ANd WAY t00 mANY HAD TRIED T0 GET IN AfTER IT WAZ
FUlL, IT HAD N0T BeEN hIZ INteNTi0N T0 KEEP ME 0UT. I FELT BAD THAT I
eVEn CARED, AND tHAT HE KNew I CARED, AND THaT HE AND I eVEN HAD T0
DISCuSZ IT. I WAZ UNhAPY THAT he HaD N0 INTENTI0n 0F STAYING T0 HEAR MY
sPEECH 0R THE FIGhT WITh L0kI THAT HE KNEw WAZ K0MING BUT DIDN'T
MENTi0N T0 ME. WE LEfT ThINGZ wiTH THE FACT THAT WE'D G0 0UT F0R DINNER
0R S0mETHING THE NeXT nIGHT wiTH 0PHIE (WH0 ALs0 HAD AN EArLY FLIGHT)
AFTER THe BULK 0F THE K0N WAZ 0veR. IT 0CCURED T0 ME THEN IT w0ULD NEVER
HAPPEN BECAUSE PLANZ ARE HARD T0 KEEp AT K0NZ BUT I MENTI0NED iT IN MY
SPEECh ANYWAY.
MY SPEECH WeNT 0VER VERY WELL. IT WAZ Ab0UT WHAT'Z BEEN G0InG 0N AT
GRAY AREAZ SiNCE I SP0KE AT H0H0K0n LAST YEAR. IT WAZ ALS0 Ab0UT THE
BEHAVI0R 0F CERtAIN ELEMENTZ 0F THE K0MMUNItY AND H0W THAT BEHAvI0R HAZ
AFFECTED ME. AND IT WAZ A STERN WARNINg AB0Ut S0ME BUSTZ THAT ARe K0MING
D0WN. I KN0W A FEW PE0PLE G0T THE MEsSAGE. I K0ULD TELL FR0M ThE GASPZ
AND LAUGHTER AT KEY P0INTS. BUT PERHApZ THE HIGHLIGHT 0F THE SPeECH WAZ
THE K0NFR0NTAtI0N BETWEEN L0KI AND I WHEN HE CH0SE T0 BULLY Me BEF0RE
ANY0NE ELSE K0ULd ASK A QUESTI0N. I ANsWERED HIZ ACCUSATI0NZ AND MANAGED
T0 D0 A DECENT J0B EVEN WITH N0 WARNINg. WHAtEVER HE H0PED T0 ACk0MPLISH
CLEARLY WASN'T w0RKING AND FR0M S0MEWhERE DeEP INSIDE 0F ME I F0UND THE
K0URAGE T0 AsK THE ENTIRE R00M T0 v0TE 0n WHETHER 0R N0T THEy REALLY
NEVER WANTED T0 SeE ME 0N #HACK AGAIN. THE 0NlY V0TE 0PP0SED IN A R00M 0F
AB0UT 250-300 PE0PLE WAZ L0KI'S. H0URZ LATER I REGRETTED N0T THInKING T0
ASK H0W MANY PE0PlE NEVER WANTED T0 SEE L0KI tHERE AGAIN. F0UR PE0PLE HAD
K0ME UP T0 ME aND T0LD ME THEY W0ULD HAVE v0TED HIM 0UT. L0KI lEFT THE
R00M WITH HIZ TaIL BETWEEN HIZ LEGZ AnD RAN T0 IRC. BY THE TIME I G0T 0N
H0URZ LATER W0rD HAD SPREAD A ST0RY tHAT I PICKED A FIGHT WITH HIM AND
HE HAD W0N. THe PR00F IZ IN THE VIDE0TAPE wHICH WILL BE AVAILAbLE S00N
FR0M DRUNKFUX. IT'Z HIGHLY REK0MMENDED f0R B0tH FRIENDZ AND F0EZ 0F MINE.
DRUNKFUX SAID DEMAND F0R THIZ P0RTI0N 0F hIZ F00TAGE WAZ VERY HIGH. I
PR0MISED T0 GIVe HIM BETTER F00TAGE AnD AN eVEN BETTER SPEECH NeXT YEAR.
LATER K0UNT ZER0 WR0TE THIZ AB0UT mY SPEeCH IN CULT 0F THE DeAD K0W:
"GRAYAREA GETz UP AND BEGINZ T0 REAd 0FF a PRE-PREPARED SPEECh 0N HER
LAPT0P. HER SPEEcH IZ T00 QUICK F0R MY ALK0H0L-BYPR0DUCT-S0DDEN sYNAPSEZ
T0 REGISTER ACcURATELY. I KEEP STARInG AT hER DRESS...BRIGHT TiE-DYE...
MESMERIZING...IT'Z ACTUALLY QUITE K00L. SuDDENLY, L0KI GETZ Up IN THE
AUDIENCE AND THE ACCUSATI0NZ FLY BACK aND F0rTH BETWEEN THEM. Y0u KICKED
ME 0FF IRC. Y0U CALLED MY 0FFICE AT W0RK. Y0U ARE D0ING THIS, Y0U ARE
D0ING THAT. B0tH ARE GETTING INT0 THiZ VERbAL SLUGFEST IN A MAj0R WAY.
I FEEL THE BaD KARMA IN THE R00M HaNGING HEAVY LIKE BLUE-GREeN CIGAR
SM0KE. "CAN'T wE ALL JUST GET AL0NG??" I YeLL, BUT N00NE SEEMZ T0 HEAR
ME. I D0N't KN0W WH0 IZ RIGHT 0R WR0NG (IT'Z PR0BABLY S0MEwHERE IN
BETWEEN...THE TRUtH'Z ALWAYZ GRAY, RIGHt?), S0 I D0N'T HYP0THESIZe. ALL I
D0 KN0W IZ THAT I'D NEVER WANT T0 PISz 0FF GRAYAREA...SHE'Z DAMn STR0NG
0N HER K0NVICTi0NZ AND W0N'T TAKE SHiT FR0m ANY0NE. I THINK SHe'D L00K
BETTER UP THERE wEARING A BIG 0L' LEAThER JAcKET WITH STUDS...TErMINAT0R
STYLE. "0NE TENdZ T0 ASSUME THAT PE0PlE WEArING TIE-DYE GEAR ARe QUIET,
MEEK, VERY S0Ft SP0KEN, N0N-K0NFR0NTaTI0NAl TYPES....IT IZ A CaM0FLAGE
THAT SUITZ HER WElL," I THINK. BAHAHA! I LIKEd Y0UR K0MMENTS, K0UnT ZER0.
AND I DID HEAR Y0U YELL THAT.
AFTeR THE SPEECHEZ I S0LD M0RE mAGAZINEZ THANKZ T0 L0KI WH0
INADVERTENTLY mADE WAY M0RE PE0PLE InTEREStED IN ME. BAHAHAHA! S0ME 0F
THEM SAID THEY lIKED 0R L0VED MY DRESs, S0Me 0F THEM HUGGED ME aND S0ME
0F THEM SIgNED UP F0R SUBSCRIPTI0NZ ANd GAVE ME THEIR DATA. I THEN
HEADED 0FF f0R DINNER AT YET AN0ThER SUsHI RESTAURANT. LAUGhING GAZ
AND SLYME CAME AGAIN AL0NG WITH MR. SP0CK wH0 AGREED T0 L0SE HiZ SUSHI
VIRGINITY T0 ME AND J0KINGLY SAID THAT wAY HE'D GET MENTI0NeD IN MY
REVIEW. I TH0UGHt HE WAZ 0NE 0F THE THrEE KEwLEST PE0PLE I HUNG 0UT WITH
AT THE K0N. I H0PE I GET T0 SPEND m0RE TiME WITH HIM AT A K0n IN THE
FUTURE AND I'D eVEN BE WILLING T0 G0 tRY HIz FAV0RITE TYPE 0F F00D! THE
SUSHI PlACE WE PICKED WAZ AWEs0ME. I WAZ S0RRY I HADN'T F0UND IT
S00NER. IT'Z AlM0ST T00 BAD H0H0K0N wILL Be IN AN0THER CITY NExT YEAR.
I ALS0 WANNA MENTi0N THE ELITE, JAK_FLAcK, WH0 DR0VE UZ T0 THE REsTAURANT
WHEN CABZ WErE SCARCE 0N NEW YEAR'z EVE. HE DIDN'T WANT ANY sUSHI 0R
ANY M0NEY. HE EVEN G0T LUCKY AND gAVE A RIDE T0 PE0PLE WH0 pR0BABLY
W0ULD HAVE D0NE THE SAME THING F0R HIM UnDER THE SAME CIRCUMsTANCES.
THANKS.
AFTER DINnER I DID WHAT DRUNKFUx BEGGeD UZ N0T T0 D0. I SpENT NEW
YEAR'Z EVE 0N IRC. I MESSAGED MR. Sp0CK, iN FACT, WH0 WAZ TYPiNG FR0M
THE 0THER SIDE 0F THE R00M. I ALS0 MeSSAGEd S0ME HACKERZ I TALk T0 ALL
THE TIME. S0mE WERE L0NELY AND GLAd T0 SeE ME. I TH0UGHT A L0T AB0UT
L0NELINESS. S0Me 0F UZ PREFER T0 BE WiTH K0mPUTERZ THAN PE0PLE. S0ME 0F
UZ CAN 0PEN UP m0RE EASILY T0 PE0PLE 0N A K0MPUTER. AND S0ME 0F UZ NEED
K0MPUTERZ AR0UND EVEN WHEN WE'RE WITH 0THER pE0PLE. I WAZ TYPING FR0M AN
ACK0UNT AT H0H0k0N.0RG AND THERE WERE SEVERaL PE0PLE IN THE R00m HAVING
FUN WITH THEIR "sITE" AZ X AND Y TRIED REPEAtEDLY (AND SUCCEEDED) T0 GET
R00T THERE. I HAd NEVER SEEN R00T BEF0rE FR0m THE P0SITI0N 0F THe PERS0N
PR0TECTING IT. I sH0ULD HAVE PAID WAY M0RE ATtENTI0N BUT I G0T T00 CAUGHT
UP IN HAVING K0NVeRSATI0NS. I SH0ULD ALs0 HAVe PAID M0RE ATTENTI0n T0 THE
PE0PLE IN THE R00M WITH ME. L0Q AND F00L WERE tHERE AND THEY SEEMEd REALLY
KEWL BUT I G0t T00 L0ST IN IRC. 0H wELL, aT LEAST I WASN'T H0pELESSLY
DRUNK. AND I WASN'T KICKED 0R BANNED 0NcE. PE0PLE WERE DELICATE WiTH EACH
0THER 0N IRC. THEy WERE 0FTEN DRUNK, VUlNERABlE AND M0RE LIKELY T0 REVEAL
THINGZ WHEN K0NVeRSING. TH0SE WH0 WERE 0N WErE M0RE THAN WILLING T0 TALK
T0 ANY0NE WH0 SH0WED UP. PE0PLE APpARENTlY INTEND T0 MAKE PUbLIC THE
H0H0K0N.0RG L0Gs. IF THEY INCLUDE IRC CHATZ IT W0ULD BE VERY SHaLL0W. I
WILL NEVER AGAIN TaKE THE CHANCE AND IRC FR0M a K0N AGAIN. ALTH0UGh I HAVE
M0STLY K0ME T0 TERMZ WITH THE FACT tHAT I AM A SEMI-PUBLIC FIgURE AND
PE0PLE WILL ALWaYZ WANT T0 SEE WHATEVeR I TyPE 0N THE NET, BUT iT'Z N0T
FAIR T0 EXP0SE ThE W0RdZ 0F THE PE0PLE I MeSSAGED.
I DRAGGED MYSeLF 0FF IRC AB0UT 4:30 A.M. aND WENT D0WNSTAIRZ t0 CLEAN
0FF 0NE 0F THE BeDS. N0V0CAIN AND PARTiCLE HaD CHECKED 0UT 0F THeIR R00M
AND WERE G0NNA StAY IN MY R00M F0R 0NE NIGHT. I WAZ THRILLED AT tHE IDEA
0F HAVING K0MPaNY. BUT WHEN THE BED wAZ EMpTY IT L00KED TEMPTInG AND I
LAY D0WN F0R THE 90 MINUTEZ TILL I WAZ DUE T0 MEET THEM AT THE BrEAKFAST
BUFFET. NEXT THINg I KNEW IT WAZ SUNDAY AFTERn00N. 00PS! I W0NDEReD WHERE
THEY HAD SLEPT. APPARENTLY THEY HADN'T WANtED T0 WAKE ME S0 THeY SLEPT
IN AN0THER R00M. I FELT BAD BUT AT LEAsT THEiR STUFF HAD BEEN SAfE WHICH
IZ ALL Y0U REAlLY CARE AB0UT AT A K0n. S0RRY! NEXT TIME, GUYS, WAKE ME.
I STUMBLED INT0 THE L0BBY AND J0INED THE K0NVERSATI0NZ THAT WErE G0ING
0N. A H0TEL EMPL0yEE ASKED IF WE'D MIND M0VINg T0 THE K0NFERENCE r00M AND
WE AGREED. WE FiGURED THE R00M WAZ BUgGED JuST AZ THE H0TEL PH0nE LINEZ
HAD BEEN. BUT We WEREN'T TALKING AB0Ut ANYThING SECRET AND A FEw 0F THE
HACKERZ ANSWERED aLL 0F THE QUESTI0NZ AsKED By THE K0P/SECURITY GuARD WH0
HUNG 0UT F0R AB0UT HALF 0F THE TIME We WERE IN THERE. IT WAZ A vERY FUN
tIME THERE 0N THE Fl00R CHATTING WITH V0YaGER, 0PHIE, 0NKEL DITMEYEr, LGAS,
DEADKAT, DRUNKFUX, ETC. THERE WERE WAY M0RE PE0PLE BUT I'M DRAWING A BLANK
0N SPECIFICALLY WH0. I WENT UPSTAIRZ t0 GET M0RE MAGAZINEZ AND rAN INT0
BRUCE STERLING. HE WAZ GR0WING FACIAL HAIR aND L00KED GREAT. HE SAID HE
FELT L0USY WHICh SH0WZ WHAT I KN0W. I HUGGEd HIM BEF0RE HE SAID HE FELT
L0USY. WE TALKEd AB0UT THE B00K HE IZ W0RKInG 0N. THEN 0PHIE ANd I WENT
0FF T0 BE INTERViEWED AB0UT FEMALE HACkERZ AnD THE TREATMENT 0F w0MEN BY
HACKERS. IT K0ULD HAVE USED K0RI AND N0eLLE BuT IT MADE S0ME G00D P0INTS.
WE CAME D0WNSTaIRZ AND I SAW DRUNKFUx AT W0RK VIDE0TAPING AN InTERVIEW
WITH THE GUYZ fR0M TN0 IN K0L0RAD0. THIZ WaZ PRICELESZ F00TAGE 0F THEM
DISCUSSING H0W A gR0UP DECIDEZ P0LICIEZ AND HaNDLEZ P0LITICZ AND h0W THEY
HAVE APPLIED P0LiTICAL TH0UGHT T0 HACKiNG. I WAZ S0RRY I HAD MISsED HALF
0F IT AND S0RRy I HAD SPENT S0 MUCH tIME S0CIALIZING WITH THEM THAT IT
HAD NEVER 0CCURED T0 ME I DIDN'T KN0W MuCH AB0UT THEIR GR0UP AND I SH0ULD
HAVE INTERVIEWEd THEM T00. I H0PE DRUnKFUX iNCLUDEZ EVERY W0RD 0F THEIR
INTERVIEW IN THe VIDE0.
0PHIE Br0UGHT UP THE IDEA 0F pH0T0Z AND S0 I GRABBED MY CAMERA.
EVERY0NE THeRE G0T INT0 IT AND I g0T A wH0LE R0LL 0F FILM 0f PE0PLE
HUGGING AND KiSSING ME, L00KING AT p0RN MaGZ WITH 0PHIE AND GeNERALLY
PLAYING AR0UNd S0MEH0W. THEY CAME 0uT GREaT. IF Y0U WANT Y0URz PASSED
AR0UNd 0R PUBLISHED, LET ME KN0W. UNTIL THEN, THEY'RE PRIVATE.
SLYME AND I hEADED BACK T0 MR. WASaBI F0r DINNER BUT T0 0UR sURPRISE
IT WAZ CL0SED! NEW YEAR'Z DAY TURNED 0UT T0 BE A BAD DAY T0 TRY T0 FIND
PLACEZ 0PEN T0 SErVE F00D. WE SH0ULD HAvE STAyED AT THE H0TEL. WE FINALLY
ENDED UP IN A BaR WHICH SERVED F00D, 0RDEREd H0T CH0K0LATE AND k0NS0LED
0URSELVEZ 0N THE LACK 0F SUSHI. BAcK AT tHE H0TEL A BUNCH 0F UZ WENT
R00M H0PPING AND tRIED T0 DETERMINE WH0 WAZ LeFT. MY FLIGHT WAZ At 7 A.M.
AND I HAD N0 INTEnTI0N 0F G0ING T0 SLEEp AND tAKING A CHANCE I W0uLD MISZ
IT. SEVERAL PE0PLE HAD FLIGHTZ AT 8 aND 10 A.M. 0THERZ WERE STaYING 0N
F0R 3 M0RE DAYZ t0 GET BETTER AIRFARE rATES. I HEARD ERIKB HAD LeFT WITH
0PHIE AND HE T0lD ME LATER THEY HAD AsKED ThE H0TEL AND HAD BEEn T0LD I
CHECKED 0UT. 0NE R00M WE ENDED UP IN HaD A K0NS0LE K0PIER RUNNINg. I HAD
HEARD AB0uT THEM BUT NEVER SEEN 0NE AnD WAZ T0LD IT WAZ 0kAY IF I
PH0T0GRAPHED It. I WeNT D0WNSTAIRZ F0R My CAMERA.
I HADN'T BEEn AL0NE 0NCE SINCE ARRiVING iN AUSTIN. WHILE THIz WASN'T
ALWAYZ PLANNED, ThE TH0UGHT DID 0CCUR T0 ME ThAT MY R00M MIGHT BE WATCHED
AND THAT LAW EnF0RCEMENT MIGHT BE INtERESTeD IN ANY 0F THE MANy PE0PLE
I WAZ SEEN TALKiNG T0. I HAD MENTI0NEd A K0nTR0VERSIAL INTERVIEw WE HAD
K0MING UP WITH ILF AND ALTH0UGH I TH0UgHT I wAZ BEING 0VERLY PARaN0ID, I
WAZ STILL NERV0uZ I W0ULD BE QUESTI0NeD AB0uT IT. BUT IT WAZ 12:30 A.M.
0R S0 AND I FELT T00 SILLY ASKING F0R s0ME0Ne T0 RUN D0WNSTAIRZ wITH ME.
S0 I WENT AL0NE. BUT AZ I WAZ CL0SING ThE D00r AND CHECKING IT WAz L0CKED
I SAW S0ME0NE HEAD D0WN THE HALL T0WARDZ ME ANd I KNEW INSTANTLY S0METHING
WAZ AB0UT T0 BE UP. HACKERZ ARE RiGHT WhEN THEY SAY Y0U CAN'T FULLY
UNDERSTAND THIz UNTIL Y0U HAVE LIVED IT. He ASKED IF I WAZ NETtA AND I
SAID YEZ AND THEn HE REACHED T0WARDZ HiZ P0CkET. I KNEW HE WAZ G0ING F0R
EITHER A GUN 0r A BADGE AND THERE WAz N0THiNG I K0ULD D0 AB0UT EITHER.
IT TURNED 0UT t0 BE A BADGE AND AZ He G0T cL0SE EN0UGH S0 THAT I K0ULD
SEE IT READ "AuSTIN P0LICE DEPARTMENt" I Th0UGHT T0 MYSELF "KEwL, IT'Z
N0T THE SECReT SERVICE." HE ASKED mE T0 aCK0MPANY HIM T0 A R00M AND,
H0LDING MY CAMERa, I DID. HE T0LD THE tW0 "SeCURITY GUARDS" THAT WE'D BE
LEAVING tHE D00R 0PEN. I HAD AsKED WhETHER HE WAZ THE GUy WH0 HAD
CALLED ME LAST MARCH AND HE SAID N0 ThAT HE WAZ HIZ PARTNER. I w0NDERED
WHETHER I WAZ UNdER INVESTIGATI0N 0R WhETHER THEY HAD N0 0NE ELSe T0 ASK
F0R INF0RMATI0N 0R WHETHER THEY JUST wANTED T0 MEET ME AFTER TAlKING T0
ME V0ICE. IT DIDN'T 0CCUR T0 ME T0 ASK. I TH0uGHT SEVERAL TIMEZ Ab0UT THE
FACT I WAZ SUPP0SED T0 BE 0UT WITH BL00DAXE AND 0PHIE AND THAT iF I HAD
MADE IT A P0INT T0 LEAVE WITH THEM THIZ W0ULDn'T BE HAPPENING. I w0NDERED
wH0 ELSE APD HAD QUeSTI0NED WH0 HAD N0T T0LD ANy0NE. I W0NDERED IF tHEY HAD
EVEN QUESTI0NED S0ME0NE AB0UT ME. I ALS0 FEAReD PE0PLE W0ULD K0ME L00KING
F0R ME AND SeE ME IN THAT R00M AND THINK I WAZ TALKING T0 THe P0LICE
V0LUNTARILY. THaT I HAD S0UGHT THEM 0uT. G0d F0RBID THEY SH0ULD THINK I
WAZ TELLING THe P0LIcE AB0UT THE K0NS0LE K0PIER.
THE WH0LE tHING 0NLY T00K AB0UT 8 MINUtEZ AND THE 0FFICER aSKED ME
N0THING I HAD A pR0BLEM ANSWERING. HE tREATEd ME WITH RESPECT ANd DIDN'T
PRESZ ME T0 SAY ANYTHING I WASN'T K0Mf0RTABlE SAYING. I 0FFERED T0 GIVE
HIM S0ME 0F MY MaGAZINEZ AT THE END 0F THE K0NVERSATI0N AND HE WaLKED ME
T0 MY R00M AND WAz CLEARLY PLANNING T0 wAIT 0uTSIDE. I INVITED HIm IN AND
HE WATCHED ME PuLL ISSUEZ FR0M THREE sUITCAsES. IT WAZ APPARENT N0THING
ILLEGAL HAD G0NE 0N IN MY R00M. I'D LAY 0dDZ IT WAZ THE CLEANeST R00M
THERE T00. ThE DAY BEF0RE, F0R EXAmPLE, mY TRASH IN THE BATHr00M HAD
BEEN DUMPED AT LEAST THREE TIMES. N0nE WERe BY ME 0R WHEN I WAz IN THE
R00M. THE 0NLY THING I K0ULDN'T ANSWeR, ANd IT WAZ SIMPLY FR0M NERVES,
WAZ WHAT I HAD D0NE 0N NEW YEAR'Z EVE. THE AnSWER CAME 0UT THAT I DIDN'T
REMEMBER AND SINCe I STAMMERED IT, IT MuST HAvE L00KED LIKE I HAD SEEN 0R
D0NE S0METHING I SH0ULDN'T HAVE. BUT AlL I DiD WAZ IRC AND EAT SuSHI AND
I D0 THAT S0 0FTeN I DIDN'T EVEN REMEMbER WHeN ASKED. NEW YEAR'Z EVE HAD
BEEN aLM0ST LIKE ANY 0THEr NIGHT.
ANYWAY, I G0t THE K0NS0LE K0PIER Ph0T0 (hINT: I K0ULD USE A dETAILED
ARTICLE 0N H0W THeY W0RK T0 RUN WITH IT). WE tHEN M0VED 0N T0 0THeR R00MZ
AND I RAN INT0 DRUNKFUX AND DAMIEN Th0RN. I DID A L0NG VIDE0 InTERVIEW
WITH DRUNKFUX, wH0 W0ULD HAVE MADE AN EXCELlENT J0URNALIST. HE rESISTED
THE IDEA 0F ASKInG ME PETTY QUESTI0NZ aB0UT wH0 I LIKE AND D0N'T LIKE IN
THE SCENE aND WH0 I'D SLEEP WITH IF I k0ULD. I W0ULD HAVE aNSWERED
ANYTHING HE ASKED IN THE SPIRIT 0f THE H0H0K0N VIDE0 TRADITi0N, BUT
INSTEAD WE G0T InT0 M0RE SERI0UZ ISSUEz AND pE0PLE WH0 THINK DRUnKFUX IZ
SHALL0W 0R A LESS-tHAN-SERI0UZ DUDE DUE t0 HIZ IRC REPUTATI0N WILL BE M0ST
SUrPRISED.
THEN DAMIEN DID aN EQUALLY L0NG INTERViEW ANd DRUNKFUX G0T ELEET F00TAGE
0F ME CL0SING MY EYEZ WHEN THE TALK G0t T00 tECHNICAL. I DID ALM0ST PASZ
0UT AZ IT WAZ 3 a.M. 0R S0 AND I FELT rEALLY K0MF0RTABLE BEING WiTH THEM
BUT I SNAPPED T0 ATTENTI0N JUST IN THe NICK 0F TIME AZ DRUNKFUX HAD THE
CAMERA AIMED 0N Me AND DAMIEN WAZ MAKINg A J0kE. DAMIEN T00K IT In STRIDE
BUT I THINK IT WAZ THE FIRST TIME ANY0NE HAD EvER HAD THE CHANCE T0 LISTEN
t0 HIZ M0ST ELEET TeCHNICAL TIPZ AND WAZ b0RED. I H0PE HE KN0WZ I L0VE HIM,
LIKE M0ST HACKERS, F0R THE PERS0N HE IZ aND N0t F0R THE SKILLZ 0R tR0PHIEZ
hE HAS. I WAZ TRANSfIXED AZ HE T0LD DRUNKfUX HIz BEGINNINGZ IN THE k0MPUTER
UNDERGR0UND AND HIz VIEWZ 0N LAWS, ETHICs, WRItING, ETC. I JUST D0n'T LUST
T0 KN0W WHAT M0DeL 0F PH0NEZ HE RESPECtZ M0St 0R WHAT GADGET HE'z TESTED
LAST. LUCKILY F0R Y0U, DRUNKFUX DID THE INTERvIEW, N0T ME, AND HE DID ASK
L0TZ 0N THAT S0RT 0F STUFF. AFTER THEY wERE D0NE DAMIEN AND I WENt 0UT T0
S0ME FAST F00D BUrGER J0INT. IT WAZ DIRt CHEAp AND TASTED LIKE CArDB0ARD.
WE HAD A GREAT CHAt, AZ USUAL, AND THEN wENT T0 THE AIRP0RT WITH SlYME WH0
HAD SLEPT THE NiGHT AWAY AND MISSED EvERYTHiNG. MY FLIGHT WAZ FiRST AND
THEY WALKED ME T0 THE GATE AND MADE A FuSZ 0VeR ME AND IT WAZ THE PERFECT
ENDING.
I CAN'T BELiEVE I N0W HAVE T0 WAIt TILL JUNE (AND G0 T0 GE0rGIA, 0F
ALL PLACES) T0 SEE S0ME 0F Y0U AGAIn. 0H wELL. IN THE MEANTIMe, HAPPY
VALENTINE'Z DaY T0 Y0U AND WH0EVER y0U NEtSEX AND/0R FANTASIZe AB0UT.
HAPPY APRIL F00L'z DAY IN ADVANCE T00. JUST PrANK S0ME0NE ELSE THiZ YEAR,
0KAY? <GRIN>.
(SAMPLE ISsUEZ 0F GRAY AREAZ ARE $7.00 EACH (U.S.) AND $10.00 EACH
(F0REIGN) Fr0M: GRAY AREAS, INC. P.0. B0X 808, BR00MALL, PA 19008.
E-MAIL ADDRESSeZ ARE: GRAYAREA@WELL.sF.CA.uZ 0R GRAYAREA@NETAXs.K0M 0R
GRAYAREA@MINDV0X.PHANt0M.K0m. PGP KEY IZ BEL0W. USE IT.)
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##EOF
