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Chemical Chocolate Issue 02
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.chemicalchocolate.
.issue two.
.%$!welcome to a juke production!$%.
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_.--_.' @ `v' @ '.,--))._
_,----( `--'`m'`--' )_((_
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'-v-'
+ chemical chocolate -- more useful than america online +
chemical chocolate contents for issue two
----------------./ \.------------------
| 1-atlas' intro |
| 2-atlas' editorial |
| 3-mellon collie and the infinite sadness |
| 4-an o.j. commentary |
| 5-the dentist |
| 6-virtual city |
| 7-my alias |
| 8-juke is inspired |
| 9-god and beyond |
| 10-fluff and george |
| |
\____________________________________________________________________________/
.%$!atlas' intro
aye! this is the _second_ issue of chemical chocolate. i got some decent
feedback from issue one, which helps. mogel actual gave me some critical type
comments, other than 'you suck'. like: i over use the black cat mascot. opinion
considered and taken. i looked issue one over, and he was right. whaddya know?
cc got a lot of support this issue from hal08 and kojak hopefully. submissions
from anyone else would be nice. and unless your submission is totally unread-
able by people using the english grammer system, i'll put you in.
oh yeah, the couch ended up in quarex's basement. they never offered it on
goat-spiel. oh well, if you _really_ want it, i guess you could go to quarex's
basement and take it. you have to get by his mom first, though.
oh yeah, another thing. i changed my universal alias _again_. juke is now
atlas. the reason being: i like it better, and that's the nick name my friend
in chicago gave me.
where did it come from you may ask? well, she is a bigger ayn rand freak than
me, and when she saw me reading atlas shrugged at the illinois summer school
for the arts this summer, she has called me 'atlas' ever since. so there.
that's my alias now, and i promise i won't change it. or not. who knows. but i
like atlas better than juke because at least it isn't from a band and is
somewhat original.
whoops, i kind of rambled there.
one last thing, it's still a 'juke production.' don't ask me why, it just is.
.%$!atlas' editorial
- by atlas, of course
if i ever catch people screwing with #zines like people do with #ansi, i'm
going to seriously hurt you. if you are _that_ immature, you don't deserve to
be in #zines.
.%$!mellon collie and the infinite sadness
- by atlas
one of the few bands that came out of this whole grunge thing that i actually
like came out with a new album.
and it was good.
actually, better than good. one of the best albums made in a decade or so, rock
history wise. when i say rock history wise, i am talking about like in 20 years
your kids are looking for some 'old stuff' dad listened to, this is one of
those. kind of like the 'white album' or 'dark side of the moon'.
the pre-mcis pumpkin sound was a heavy two guitar with a promenent baseline,
but with mcis the pumpkins tried a different sound. a more techno, progressive
sound that i think worked really well. my feeling is a band has to evolve to
become a good band, and that is what billy, darcy, james, and jimmy have done.
.%$!an oj commentary
- by kojak
it's astounding to me to see the ruckus caused by this one event in history.
and it got so out of proportion it's incredulous. the number one fact about
the oj simpson case is that two people were murdered. two people that were
loved by family and friends. two people that were soon forgotten. and that's
where i draw the line.
people refer to oj simpson as an american hero. oj is not an american hero. he
is a football hero. some, if not most, people have a problem differentiating
between the two. and that's a sad statement for our times. a black man (and i
only mention his race because it'll tie in to something later) who can run with
a football is most certainly not an american hero. abe lincoln is an american
hero. the reason you're an american hero is because you did something heroic
for the benefit of america. maybe oj was an inspirationi, i'll gratn you that..
but he was most definitely not a hero. who do you consider your heroes? when i
think about it, i have my parents, my teachers, and other people who have
helped me along with my life. if not for their time and effort, i would not be
where i am today. wherever that is. the things they do, the ideas they
project, the impressions they make all make them heroes to me.
another thing that has me transfixed about this case was the fact that the
media played it up so well. what if judge ito hadn't allowed t.v. cameras in
the court? what if he had made it a closed case? then, and only then, could
things have been just. they tried to sequester the jurors, and they did a fine
job of it, but how can you completely take people away from the societal event
of the century for 11-15 months? there is just no way. not with total media
coverage that was bestowed upon this case. why do you think so many jurors
were dismissed? they were unjustly influenced, and i have a feeling that some
people that remained on the jury til the end were unjustly influenced also.
it's just amazing to me how much of our time was spent focused on the events of
this one thing. america has become news-hungry in a sense. we have to be kept
up to the minute. that's how court t.v. got started. in the process of
watching the o.j. case, american s missed more important news stories than
probably during any other case in our time. we could've used that information.
but it was held back from us because of the fact that a football player was
accused of killing his wife and her friend. now, i'm not detracting from the
fact that two people were murdered, but during that same time span, there
must've been 1000 other murders in this country that went virtually unnoticed.
and that's a true shame.
i can't have any respect for anyone else involved either. especially the
l.a.p.d. and oj's lawyers. the l.a.p.d. needs a major overhaul. i know
they've got a rought city to protect and serve, but things are just shabbily
done over there. even *if* oj didn't commit the murders, the amount of money
charged by his lawyers.. the experts they brought in.. the way they ran their
side of the case, it all smelled dirty. i didn't like it at all. now, maybe
that's just my opinion, but i think it has some validity. the flurry of
lawyers and experts taht were presented by the defense served only to confuse
the jurors and shy away from the rock-hard evidence taht the prosecution had
(i.e.- dna results, etc.). i don't like the idea of buying your way out of
jail, and in my eyes, that's exactly what oj did.
my last comment on the whole issue, to kind of sum up if you've skipped to this
point: i believe that oj is as guilty of killing rong & nicole as david koresh
is of being persuasive. (audience cheers & roars w/ laughter)
.%$!the dentist
- by atlas
you know what?
i hate dentists.
i really hate dentists jabbing things in my gums over and over again until it's
bleeding non-stop. and then they ask me if it hurts? and do you know what i
say?
YES!@#! of course it hurts. don't you see the blood? don't you see that plaque
that you just ripped out of my mouth? do *YOU* think it would it? of course it
would hurt.
now that you're done and i'm in serious pain, let me jab that pointy thing in
your mouth.
thank you.
.%$!virtual city
- by hal08
well.. i was on a trip to staples.. getting myself a compass.. (hey it was my
excuse for my progress report stating i didn't have enough homework in for
geometry!) and my father.. a major prodigy user and web surfer of the 90's
says.. we got time lets look in the computer section
so we run down the isle and see the "official yellow pages of the world wide
web" he said.. i would buy this.. but its too much money.. so i says.. pop..
you don't need that expensive shit.. theres sites that search for what you want
and its in actuality easier than a stupid book..
after explaining that ill help him with his prodigy when we get home we moved
on.. i played around on the ergonomic raised keyboard.. (god there nice) and
glanced upon a magazine called virtual city.. typical cyberpunk web surfer type
mag but what caught my eye was this on the cover
"life on the net"
"its your part!"
"how to make _THE_SCENE_"
i saw THE SCENE and said.. "wtf.. cyberpunk www surfing geeks know what a scene
is!??!!? im shore none of them were actually part of a scene.. unless you call
making a million web pages with "my favorite links" on it..
maybe it would be cool.. and anarkistik.. to make like a page of my favorite
links.. and have them all link to "my favorite link" pages.. and try to get
more people to do this.. if you get like 400 people to make pages that just
link back and forth.. imagine the mass anarky that would baffle the common web
surfer!!!
well.. any ways.. i proceeded to read this.. with sheer amazement.. its all
propaganda.. bullshit.. and its supposed to be "underground" i mean.. how
underground do you get when your on the rack at staples!
flip flip
i turn the page and see a column... brownish color and its a bunch of web
sites.. all had stupid names.. and in parenthesis at the bottom.. small print
it says
(underground sites come and go quickly, so check them out soon)
bah ya.. they last a loads of time when you post them in an "underground mag"
in staples.. i guess to the normal prodigy web page browser d00der these sites
are underground.. but in a sense.. there like reading a text file about hacking
from one of those wanna-b's thats the best hacker in the world that's never
even heard of like major hacker dooders.. its all about wanna-b underground
kids.. thinking there underground.. but are censored...
theres no such thing as underground censorship.. but to the cyberpunk there is!
the mag was filled with @ signs.. and other internet bullshit.. losta aol
adds.. and http sites for television
shows, mtv, and new movies.. that was the whole mag.. and the whole thing about
_the scene_ was about like famous people on the net.. so i guess cyberpunk
don't know what a scene is.. its "white mans burden" we must all go and teach
these lamers what a real man does with internet access.. that don't come from
aol!
i guess the only good piece of text in the whole mag was this small line in one
of the articles..
"on the internet there is no center stage. Everything is equally accessible.
We have no dan rather telling us where to go. We make those choices."
which makes ruffly no sense.. since dan rather is a news caster.. and he just
tells us the news.. doesn't tell us what to do... but its not hypocritically
distorted by cyberpunk web surfers.
.%$!my alias
- an update
ok, it has proven to be too difficult to make the switch. I AM STAYING WITH
JUKE.
i hope you're all happy.
.%$! juke is inspired
- by me
i was reading dto 4 tonight and the article that struck me the most was the one
about zines themselves. it made me realize how much i could put into this if i
really tried and what an easy medium for getting my ideas out it is to use. how
silly i was.
chemical chocolate is for real now. art is my life, prose and poetry is my way
of showing people a different side of myself. if i could put my paintings and
sculptures in here i would.
.%$!god and beyond
- by hal08
[God walks in, sporting a black toga, gold belt, and a giant book]
"hi there, my name is god, but im shore you already knew hat."
of course, your god. Everything I expected, is exactly what your not.
"and why is that?"
well my images of heaven are usually white, beautiful angels playing lutes, 47
year old men playing bocce ball, and micheal bolton plays all around. This may
not be _MY_ heaven, but that was the painted image i got from my society.
"society can be a bitch sometimes erik."
[erik, gasping in amazement that god said "bitch" tries toget of the subject.]
So... God, what exactly am i doing here?
"may I call you erik?"
yes god.
"ok erik, that whole world down there was to prepare you for whats ahead,
hopefully you will be knowledgable to be passed to the realm of god."
the realm of god, hmm.. Well, since im dead, I really don't have any options,
correct?
"hmm, everyone usually just listens to me, I _AM_ god you know, but since you
asked, You can do one of two things."
1. Become reborn (for the unprepared).
2. Hold a council to allow you into the realm of god.
Ok, no we are getting some where, since i have a choice, what exactly is your
realm like?
"well son, its basically like life, but much greater. We in the R.O.G (or
realm of god, for short) have a government, a common currency, and a leader.
(me of course)."
so you are a dictator.
"dictator is such a harsh word. I just call my self "the leader" of R.O.G. and
since its my realm, I run it. Of course I have rules, which aren't to be
broken. If you choose to attempt to gain access to R.O.G, you will find out
the rules,. and punishment for them."
Ok, since the thought of reincarnation pains me, I think i'll go for the
council, but first. What happens if I get denied access?
"well erik, you get reincarnated, so you can come back prepared for the
council."
fair enough.
[god walks into a big round room, and in it a bunch of guys wearing black robes
sit around this large table in the center. All of them have a gavel, and look
like wise men.]
[the man at the center of the table rises.]
"hear hear, we stand forth to judge entrance to the realm of god, what is the
case number joseph."
[another man rises, presumed to be joseph.]
"case number 0031337. Erik Beresnoy. Erik, you may have a seat"
[I sit, and the council begins to speak]
"welcome, we are hear to judge you, it seems that you weren't that faithful."
unfaithful? Although I never went to church after I made my confirmation, I
belive in god, and what he stands for.
"you may say this to enter the realm, but being on the council to judge
entrance to R.O.G, has its powers. We do know what you actually think of god,
and lying will get you know where."
Hmm, ok, I always thought of god as this figure head of the worlds problems,
when someone gets killed, there family members look to the sky and scream "why
me, why me." as if god had some part in it. Then when people do something bad,
they scream out to god "god save me, im sorry." what i never understood was why
people would apologize to someone they have never seen, heard, or talked to
before. It just didn't make any sense.
"but son, you half to understand why everything revolves around god. He created
everything, that is why the world revolves around him, he is the one that made
it revolve in the first place."
That is the main reason I _wouldnt_ like god, you see, if i got raped, and i
believe in your philosophy, I would say "god created rape". After being raped,
and knowing god had a part in it, i don't think i would enjoy his company that
much any more.
"god didn't create rape, people created rape."
god created people, and according to the "council" of the realm of god, god
created everything.
"so be it, you don't seem like someone who is ready for the realm of god."
Wait a minute, I never said I wasn't ready, I just said that I didn't belive in
what god stands for.
"your wasting our time mr. beresnoy, you made your point, and we sympathize
with you, but not enough to allow you to gointo the realm of god, better luck
next time."
*!POOF!*
[gods council disappears and god comes back before you, your standing on this
big huge platform, with absolutely no sound, just air.]
god?
"yes erik?"
can i just stand here for awhile, this is wonderful, I love this. I could stand
here for weeks.
"well i guess no harm can be done in that, ill let you sit here, for 2 weeks.
I'll be back to recreate you."
[so there I sat, awaiting gods arrival.]
hmm, I thought to myself, and looked down the bottom of the platform. I saw
absolute nothingness, just like a bottomless pit, for days I pondered what was
at the bottom. The absolute no sound helped me think, and I said "im dead any
ways, why not jump off the platform, the worst thing that could happen was god
getting mad at me, and he would just recreate me.
so i jumped, and it seemed like i was falling for days. Then I hit the bottom,
and there was a whole town down there, of people. They were all villagers,
small working class people, who lived in man made huts, and drank from rivers.
Then one approached me and said "so you jumped"
yes.. i figured what the hay.
"you made the right decision son, the right decision."
[and he walks away.]
i find that living down here is the best experience i ever had, at nights they
played music, spoke poetry, and had story time (aww). It was overall GREAT. So
there, I spent eternity.
.%$!juke
- by juke
since that guy at y0lk does this every issue, i thought i'd share my day with
y'all. ok it's 5:15 am. i get up, go to the bathroom and take my morning pee.
i don't think it's possible _not_ to have to pee in the morning.
anyways, so after i pee, i go upstairs, get my stocking cap, my ski mask, and
my muves (mittens + gloves). put 'em all on, then head outside and do my paper
route. yes, i will be eighteen in like a week and a half, and i am still doing
a paper route. but you know what? it's easy money. so there. i don't have to
waste any of my day inside of a hot, greasy, hell pit flipping burgers. so
there.
after
.%$!george and fluff
- by juke
neener was fluff's reply to this situation.
what, you're going to the mountain again, george asked fluff after hearing
his comment.
"steve? are you awake? steve, damnit, answer us."
it was the possum, george. the possum, i swear!
which possum? oh yeah, heh, that one. sorry about that.
"steve, i'm getting really tired of this."
look george, i need your help on this one.
what are we doing this time?
"eat the damn potatoes, steve."
i want to hurt the possum. for real this time.
oh, the possum. i never thought of that. why the possum? he never did anything
to us. it was him that did it.
nah, the possum will be more fun.
fluff, fluff, up the mountain fluff goes.
georgie, don't go to high.
"ok, steve. you remember what happened last time? remember that slap against
your face? do you?"
fluff, i have to go higher.
georgie, come back here please. we'll hurt the possum. we'll hurt the flower
too. please georgie. i need you.
ok. i'm sorry fluff. we're going to get the flower? and the possum?
"get up steve. come over here. move, you little snot. bend over, now."
georgie, i love you me. i can't let the flower do this to you.
kill the possum.
i'm going up the mountain, george. good bye. i hear it hit george me with a
resounding whap. i'm to the top of the mountain now, georgie. we've waited for
this for a long time. good bye possum, flower.
"steve. what are you doing. bend back ove . .."
"oh god, steve what did you do to your father."
"me," replied steve. "me."
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the chemical chocolate staff include juke/atlas, hal08, mercuri, and kojak.
if you like us, tell us. if you love us, write for us. only rules: no sex
stories, no poorly writter poetry, and no senseless profanity.
check out the home of chemical chocolate, coming soon AGAIN:
the repented gimcrackery -@-^-@- [309]452-5639. RUN BY ME!@
check out our homepage too, although i'm not sure of the address. it's on
zinew0rld, so if you can find that, you can find all sorts of neat CC stuff.
coming soon: chemical chocolate action figures! hal08 with ninja grip!
.,\chemical chocolate back issues.........................................../,.
|1-right now, i don't care. excuse me. |
| -a phish review |
| -homosexualty |
| -the couch |
| -love and warez |
| -life |
|2-more useful than america online |
| -oj |
| -fluff and george |
| -sadness |
| -virtual stuff |
| -god |
[------------------------------------------------------------------------]
---\ /----
\--------------------------------------------------------------------/
+-\ chemical chocolate issue two is @1995 atlas/juke / -+
/ none 'o this can be reproduced without my sayso. \
\ articles not written by me do not necessarily represent /
| my views. although they might. but they may also not. but, |
| remember always, they could. |
| |
| NOTICE: if you were offended by chemical chocolate and feel |
| like suing me. you can't. PBFFFFT. so there. |
| |
| cc#2 completed on December 2, 1995 |
+0--------------------------------------------------------------------0+
