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Chemical Chocolate Issue 01
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.chemicalchocolate.
.issue one.
.%$!welcome to a juke production!$%.
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'-v-'
'right now, i don't care. excuse me.'
issue one contents:
1 - juke's intro
2 - the phish concert
3 - the couch
4 - love and warez
5 - understanding, not special rights, needed
6 - life
7 - pet peeve of mine
8 - himself
9 - logic
10 - random comments
.!$%juke's intro
hmph. well, welcome to the first issue of chemical chocolate. i'm in the
process of figuring out what kind of zine i want this to be. i have an
editorial about homosexuality i want to put in here, so it's not going to be
all humor (unless you find homosexuality extremely funny, and there is a part
about gays walking around in their underware, so anything _is_ possible). i
guess this is a free forum type thing. no elite anarkee type stuff i don't
think. at least _i_ won't write anything like that. and maybe i'll even try to
cut down on the blues traveler comments.
just to reassure you, i *am* excited about this. i wouldn't have started it if
i wasn't. chemical chocolate will get as much effort as i possibly can give it.
hal08 said he wanted to contribute, so that's exciting.
but anyway (that's one blues traveler reference), enjoy. if you don't, you
don't. go read some elite anarkee t-files or something.
ok, so i was wrong. there _will_ be a lot of blues traveler references. let's
go ahead and just announce the black cat as chemical chocolate's mascot. 'k?
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this is the black cat --> ( )
'-v-'
.%$!the phish concert
.%$!a reflection by juke
i know most zine type people hate phish (and if you don't, let me know),
but i don't care. i'm going to talk about them anyway.
after about two years of listening to the band, i finally got to see them
live (10.22.95). this had to be the most awesome musical experience i have
ever partaked in. the band played for 3 plus hours with creativity never
receding. for those who care, the set list was:
SET I
1. AC/DC Bag
2. Some country song
3. Sloth
4. Runaway Jim
5. Weigh
6. NICU
7. Fast Enough For You
8. It's Ice
9. Poor Heart
10. Sample in A Jar
11. Blue and Lonesome
12. Stash
SET II
1. Golgi Apparatus
2. Possum
3. Catapult
4. Some reggae song
5. Tweezer
6. Big Fat Furry Creature from Mars
7. some country song
8. Slave to the Traffic Light
9. Cavern
ENCORE
1. Sweet Adeline
2. The Squirming Coil
thanks go out to dmwatson@students.uiuc.edu, cause i ripped the set list
off of a post of his on phishnet.
for those of you who know the names of the songs with names like "some country
song," or "some reggae song," please let me know.
continuing with the story:
never before had such strong artistic images in my head from one single
experience before. and the weird thing is, i did this without drugs, unlike
ninetynine percent of the people who were there. i ask friends of mine why it
seems drugs + phish/dead/whatever need to go together, and they tell me it
enhances the music and makes them feel things from the music. that kind of
comment kind of scares me because it shows todays youth can not rely on
themselves for personal satisfaction. oh well, now that i think about it, i
don't care how anyone else personally satisfy's themselves.
anyways, back to the show.
getting to the show was almost as exciting as the actual show itself. yes,
juke's parents actually let their almost 18 year old son drive _out_ of the
city limits *without* an adult.
the first thing that happened when i got there was some munk guy tried to sell
me some philosopy books. seemed kinda pushy. tried to guilt trip me into buying
them.
munk: "what? you don't want my books? you don't like philosopy? it's a part of
everyone's lives!@%!"
juke: (pauses) "right now, i don't care. excuse me."
this was like within the first five seconds of stepping out of the car to,
making me already think this was going to be a interesting evening.
i now started toward the stadium with ticket in hand. determined to get into
the stadium, i quickly passed by the people looking for tickets and the
miscellaneous other items for sell outside of the stadium.
so, i finally get to the door. and at this door there is, as always, a person
to check you out. and as most of you may know, it is this person's job to make
sure no bombs, hand grenades, nuclear warheads or whatever get into this
stadium. now, you have to realize i wear a hiking vest that has like 85,000
pockets on it. so when i get to the door and look at this person, they just
kind of looked at me and laughed. wow, i could have had all sorts of neat
things and they wouldn't have known. (something to remember in the future)
after a 45 minute wait and listening to 3 girls say the work "like" over 75
times, the band started out with ac/dc bag. ac/dc bag is a catchy tune
the i have heard on some tapes of live shows, and a lot of phish fan's
favorite. the highlights of the night were:
runaway jim and the encore with sweet adeline and the squirming coil. squirming
coil _has_ to be one of my favorite phish tunes. the piano part in the end is
just breath-taking. after about 15 minutes of coil, trey, mike, and fishman
left page mcconnell on stage to finish coil with his piano part. you can here a
version of this on 'a live one' but tonight's version was uncompairably better.
geesh, this guy is amazing.
well, this brings my pointless phish concert review to an end. hope you enjoyed
it.
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'-v-'
.%$!the couch
.%$!a witty little article about a couch and the struggle several people went
through to get it to it's rightful place.
this little incident seemed to humor murmur and tao, so i thought i'd tell it
to the rest of the zine community.
it was a wednesday after i had just finished eating lunch at arby's with
the rest of my crew (quarex, swiss pope, etc). we were walking back to normal
community high school when i noticed an enormous couch sitting by a dumpster
turned on it's side. as when anyone would do when they see a couch, i yelled:
"hey guys! look! a cOuch!@#
after pointing this out to everyone, we went and closely examined the in
questioned couch. it looked nice. no cushions though. didn't seem to contain
any sort of insects. so, we picked it up and began walking back towards school.
as we were walking back, we decided to take a little rest and set it down in
the middle of this open lot. when we set it down, for some reason, some people
began to throw walnuts at us. you can tell how much we are liked at our high
school.
after a little rest we started back towards school again. (sidenote: i wasn't
carrying the couch at this point) to get to school though, the couch had to be
carried across two lanes of really fast traffic. so the people now carrying the
couch waited a minute or so before carrying the couch across the street.
quarex and company continued to carry the now famous couch, not letting fatigue
get them down. after contimplating putting the couch in the front of the
school, the destination was now clear -- the senior parking lot (in case some
of you can't figure it out, this is where the senior's park their cars).
the couch was then put into it's own parking space for the rest of the
afternoon.
now if you haven't found _any_ humor in this so far, just picture a lot full of
cars and then a couch. if you're not laughing now then stop reading.
anyways, now that the couch had reached it's destination, the battle for who
got the couch was next. i said it should have been mine, cause i saw it first,
but other people said it should go to q's house cause it just rules. (it does,
but i didn't care, i saw it first)
after school was out, we went to the parking lot, and surprisingly enough, the
couch was still there. there was a problem though, how to get it home. i ride a
moped, and q has a small car (well, not small, but not big enough for a couch).
so we thought and thought for like 20 minutes trying oh so many things to get
the couch in his car, but to no avail. we decided to leave it there in it's
parking space over night, not knowing what was going to happen to it. i thought
it would be gone, but hey anything could happen.
it is now the next morning, and as i do everyday, i am freezing my butt off
riding my moped to school. i get to school, and the couch is still there!@#
this is amazing!@# so amazed, i decided to sit on it and read hamlet for like
15 minutes.
the now famous couch resides in q's basement, finally getting some sort of a
van to get it home. it is being givin away on murmur and tao's radio show this
weekend, so maybe even _you_ could own this couch.
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'-v-'
.%$!love and warez
.%$!courierd by mercuri
BwAHhAhHAhHAhHAhHahHAh!@@#$%% i think i'll write about this while its still
fresh in my mind. i was on #warez5 and someone guy named interdog offered
something, and i wanted it, so i sent for it. he said "what can you give me
before i kill your dcc?" i said "love and affection." he said "whats love
and affection and how big is it?" i said "hahahahaha" and he said "hahaha
shutup now what is it and how big?" and i left it at that.
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.%$!understanding, not special rights, needed
.%$!a serious little thing by juke
in todays society, it seems there are two major views towards homosexuality.
most people seem to be either really conservative, or really liberal.
there are also the people that still have the attitude what someone does in bed
is their own business. while this attitude may be acceptable, peoples attitude
toward homosexuality needs to be examined more closely because homosexuality
has gone beyond just having sex with someone the same gender as you.
homosexuality has now become a lifestyle, something a person lives every
second of the day. it isn't that until now homosexuality was just having sex
with someone the same gender as you, but at first, to the rest of the world, it
was. the first generation of homosexuals after the stonewall incident were here
just to tell people, "hey i can do it with someone the same gender as me, and i
shouldn't be punished for it." the second generation of homosexuals after that
pivotal moment should be here to show people why the gay lifestyle should be
accepted by the general public. the gay lifestyle doesn't have to be acceptable
persay, but it needs to be, at the very least, understood. and when homosexual-
ity is understood, people will allow it into their society. if homosexuality is
understood, it will also not need any special rights some people are asking
for.
the major opposition towards homosexuality seems to come from the conservative
christian community. the conservative christian view seems to be that
according to the bible it is only right to have a relationship with someone of
the opposite gender, and that is the way it should be for everyone. this is
understandable because they are just following what they believe, but the
conservative community also have to realize that there are other people in this
country that believe different things than they do. there is also opposition
from the conservative community because they feel that any funding for or
education about promotes homosexuality and says that it's acceptable as a
lifestyle. what the conservative community needs to realize is that they can
have their lifestyle for themselves where homosexuality is not permitable, but
still allow others the right to learn about it and be safe.
i think the main reason people do not understanding homosexuality is because
they see homosexuality as this big sex culture. most people see homosexuality
as what the see at miscellaneous gay rights parades. they see homosexuals
walking in their underwear pronouncing their sexuality, and if people just see
this, they are not going to understand why homosexuals should be treated
as equally as everyone else. homosexuals need to realize if they want to be
understood, they need to take the first step. the rest of society is not going
to do it for them.
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'-v-'
.%$!life
.%$!a beutiful commentary brought to you by juke
i was listening to the local pop station this morning and heard this song by a
group called the goo goo dolls. there was this line in the song that went
something like this:
"life is more than who we are"
now how can this be so? who we are is what we are. and it doesn't matter how
spiritual you are, your life can't be anymore than who you are because who we
are decides what are life is like.
now, some people may be saying, "well, god is life and he is more than me."
well, yea, he may be more than you, but he is who you are, therefor not
making life more than who you are.
this is getting a bit confusing, isn't it? that's why philosophy is fun.
everything that you do is part of you and makes up you as a whole. everything
that goes on around you and everything everyone else does makes up who you are.
so then, what could mr. goo goo doll be suggesting? well, i think he is
suggesting that there are other things around us that decide things in our
life. well, to some people there are, but that still makes up who we are. so
no matter how you look at it, mr. goo goo doll is wrong.
ha.
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'-v-'
.%$!pet peeve of mine!
.%$!a neat little witticism by hal08
d00dle b0ys are Evil?!?!, if all you read is zines all day.. you would think
this is true!?!?
if you read most zines now a days.. d00dling is a CRIME! d00dle.. there fore i
am... and yet if you prick me do i not bleed?! if you kill me do i not die!?!
everyone loves me.. 3y3 c4n pr00v3 7h1s!
hal08 has joined #you_suck
<reject> hi hal08 i love you
<hal08> do i know you reject?
<reject>no.. but i was sitting here thinkin about hateful things, like dead
pupies and writing some aNARKEY TEXT! but this unseen force said
"reject, type hi hal08 i love you"
<hal08> ITS GAWD HE LUBS ME?!?!?!
You have been kicked of #you_suck by reject ** (no thats my foot up your ass)**
ouch.. im sorta loved... well my m0mmy says she loves me!?!
are d00dlers hatefull vengefull people? Have d00dlers caused the great
depresion of the 40's?? Have i done anything tew y0u?!?!?! d0 i d00dle
naked pictures of Maria Carrie?!?! no so pheer me.. lub me.. and drink pepsi
you ask: but what makes you differnt then the d00dlers the zine radders talk
about?
g00d question YOU!?!?!, YOU GO GIRL!?!? (this sucks) ack ok, i dont d00dle for
groups anymore.. i dont charge.. i dont hang out with d00dlers.... i draw
f00re zines... thats it... s0 th3r3 f0ur 3y3 4m d4 r4dd3s7 d00dler 4 r0und!?!?!
im trying.. really... i figured you might care about me iguess i was wrong.
*s0b*s0b*
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'-v-'
.!%$himself
.!%$a short story by juke
other than the light the boy was studying from, the room was dark. not only
dark in the physical sense, but in the emotional sense as well. that moment
was the last dark moment the boy would ever have. during that moment, he beat
everything. all the angst that had been fighting him all his teenage life. it
was the greatest moment he had ever experienced. it was a rebirth for him. a
rebirth of his emotional well being as well as his physical nature.
the moment that this all happened was not as simplistic as described.
the boy didn't know what was going on, he couldn't have known. if he had known,
he was trying to accomplish this, none of this could have happened. it might
have been the headache he had. or maybe it was all the work that had been piled
up on himself because of his escape. maybe both. maybe neither.
as said before, the moment was a rebirth of the boy. the boy had been sitting
there, with his music turned up as loud as his head could possibly take. the
music was building up, gradually reaching it's peak just as a good book does.
and when the music hit it's peak, the boy scream withed vigor, stretching his
arms out, releasing all energy in him to the outside. although he was releasing
all of his energy that was in him out, he was taking in new energy as well. new
energy to rebuild himself.
the boy began to hum that tune that was playing earlier. he sat in his chair,
looking around at objects in his room that he had never really noticed before.
the spider's web in the corner, the crack on the ceiling, and the hardest thing
to see: himself.
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.%$!logic
.%$!a bit of wit from juke
here are some great arguements i made up for my logic class:
value premise: anyone that has black shoes is dumb.
factual premise: jimmy has black shoes.
value judgement: jimmy is dumb.
ok here's another great one.
value premise: no one that has common sense will do it.
factual premise: he did it.
value judgement: he has no common sense.
and think, my teacher doesn't like me. i wonder why.
i only told him that all equal rights laws/ammendments should be repealed
because i think people have a right to discriminate on private property. (i
wouldn't do this personally. but if discrimination is your thing, and it's your
property, have a hay-day.)
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'-v-'
.%$!random comments
.%$!by the chemical chocolate staff
the gummy bears theme song was dedicated to _me_, is there any question about
how elite i really am now?
dummerc0n should be a big van and one twinky
some guy actually tried to kill himself, but missed all vital organs and
coughed up the bullet. i'm not kidding.
some guy actually showed up and a newspaper office 67 years after they printed
his obituary and told them it was wrong
everyone should check out certain distant suns - available at most cd selling
stores
i read my first anarchy text file that i actually found useful
and finally: only 10 months until i move to chicago
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'-v-'
chemical chocolate staff: juke, hal08, and kojak
additional writers for this issue: mercuri
submissions for chemical chocolate can be sent to owilliam@ice.net
copyright nineteen ninty five chemical chocolate. no part of this can be used
anywhere else. any article submited to me (juke) becomes my property, so keep a
copy for yourself. so much the better i said to myself.
chemical chocolate one was completed on 10.23.95
.%$!eof
