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Capital of Nasty Vol. 02 Issue 12
Date sent: Tue, 25 Mar 1997 22:16:36 -0500
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
From: Colin Barrett <tyrannis@capnasty.org>
Subject: Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine II.11
Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine
Volume II, Issue 12, Year AD MCMXCVII
Monday, March 25th, 1997
-------------------------------------------
In "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", after Frollo leaves
Quasimodo telling him that he is too ugly to go to the festival,
he goes outside from the Church's tower and starts singing.
When the screen glances downward, you'll see people walking on
the streets. Take a good look at the bottom right of the screen
before the camera zooms in. See the girl walking while reading a
book? That's Belle, from Beauty and the Beast.
<marcot@ifront.com>
-------------------------------------------
The motto in Canada:
"If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes."
-------------------------------------------
1. Readers' Letters
2. What happened to the ARPANET?
3. Deceive Me
4. Possible Microsoft Releases
-------------------------------------------
1. Readers' Letters
A. I give up !!!! Microsoft all is forgiven
Date sent: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 20:36:54 -0800 (PST)
From: David Welton <davidw@efn.org>
To: CoN Editorial <con@capnasty.org>
Subject: Re: Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine II.11
>5. I give up !!!! Microsoft all is forgiven
>
>From: "Stephanie Foster" <Stephanie@cyberzone.demon.co.uk>
>Subject: I give up !!!! Microsoft all is forgiven
>Date sent: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 23:11:47 GMT
>To: unlisted-recipients:; (no To-header on input)
>
>Despite all the man pages and pppd chat and uncle tom cobley and
>Despite everyone giving me script etc etc my
>linux system staunchly refuses to talk to the internet
No, it will talk to the internet just fine. You are just not able to
configure it correctly. It seems you maybe don't understand how the
various programs interact to connect you to the net. It's true that linux
isn't for everyone - it requires lots of reading and thinking, and messing
with.
>say what you like about Microsoft but IT WORKS !
No, it *does not* work:-) In a year of linux use, I have *never* crashed
it. Not once. This is how an operating system ought to work. A complete
contrast to the all too frequent "blue screen of death" seen with windoze.
Not to mention other brilliant M$ ideas like 'cooperative multitasking'
(the idea that if everyone just writes perfect code, it will all work
nicely together), as opposed to true multitasking in unix. How many hours
of uptime have you ever had with windoze? There are plenty of examples of
linux boxes with uptimes of 120+ days, and usually these were restarted to
perform some upgrade.
So, please don't confuse 'easy to use' (mac really has the advantage here
though) with 'works'.
>Linux just went in the bin !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your loss, although not in a monetary sense, as it is a completely free
operating system. No loss to us linuxistas either, as we are by and large
in it for the love of a good thing, rather than to get rich like BG and
co.
David Welton
davidw@efn.org davidw@freenet.hut.fi http://www.efn.org/~davidw
Se quest'email e` in Italiano, mi dispiace per gli errori:-) FORZA PANTANI!
--Linuxista--
-------------------------------------------
2. What happened to the ARPANET?
A. The Year 2000: The End of Computing?
A Brief description of the problem
Programmers, over the last 30 years have been conserving space and
processing time by ignoring the century in dates throughout our computer
systems. Because the need was so far out in the future (ha!), they decided
it was not worth the effort to change the existing systems to accommodate
the problem. As a result, when new systems were developed and the year 2000
was getting closer, the problem seemed to get more dramatic, but not enough
to take on the task of correcting it. Now the problem is not just dramatic,
it is urgent.
The problem, in data processing terms, is the following:
1. Dates are carried as 6 numeric characters ignoring the century.
2. Assumptions are made about the century concerning when to assume the
century is the 19th or the 20th.
3. Just changing the size and adding the century will not fix the problem.
4. When dates are used for more than just storing and re-displaying,
routines are in place which attempt to solve them. They must also be
changed.
B. Censorship
As reported by USA Today Web Site (CUDigest) , the government of
Vietnam has announced that all information coming into the
country through the Internet will be censored (with Hanoi controlling
who has online access). Vietnamese authorities also plan to limit the
gates through which Internet servers in Vietnam are linked to the
outside world, with all information entering and leaving the
communist country through a government-filtered gateway. The report
says Vietnam is looking for ways to allow Internet service, while
restricting content.
C. Gridlock
Several US phone companies are on the verge of succumbing to
gridlock. Brown outs and even major system crashes are expected which would
leave business and consumers without telephone service.
Internet traffic is growing at 10% each month, and the length of the call is
crowding telco phone networks. Internet phone calls last an average of 20
minutes, unlike the usual 4 for a voice conversation. Some connections last
6 hours or more. Many companies want to raise their rates in order to
maintain and beef up their overloaded networks.
Because of low internet costs, and the fact that "Free" long
distance calls can be made over the Internet, Telco phone companies are
thinking of changing their flat fee rate, to a pay-per-use system. Not only
you'd have to pay for the Internet, but also for the time you are connected.
Web pages would suddenly lose their popularity because of long loading times.
If the Cable companies do take over the Internet, the pressure would
be taken off phone companies. But at that point people would not have the
need of a second line in their homes, which would mean Telco revenues would
decline, and they will have to lobby for increase rates.
D. Internet 2
The Internet is falling victim of it's own popularity. Once an
obscure system, to which only a few had access (government & universities),
now the Internet is at the reach of everyone. The whole thing is now
getting bogged down on the weight of it's own success.
Those who rely on the Internet for fast communication can no longer do
so. Enter Internet 2, a superhigh bandwidth (155 megabits per second or
some 10,000 faster then the 14.4 kilobits per second modem) which would
allow the transmission of memory intensive multimedia applications, to
service Universities and Companies that cannot afford the current
instabilities of the net.
Internet 2, or CAnet 2 will be available in the Canada and the US sometime
this year. The original Internet will be taken over by the Telcos. No
prices have been set for CAnet 2.
-------------------------------------------
3. Deceive Me
by Valentino Assenza <asse0004@algonquinc.on.ca>
DECEIVE ME
Fake thy smile for I see gloom
Fake thy sound for I hear doom
Fake thy recipe for death
Fake thy taking of my breath
Fake thy criminal attitude
Fake thy radical interlude
Fake thy pattern of awkward thought
Fake thy story, there is no plot
Fake thy grin toward human kind
Fake thy chance that you may mind
Fake thy place in social change
Fake thy toll and rearrange
Fake thy love toward myself,
Fake thy colour inform thyself
Fake thy palace of cursed fate
Fake thy opening of thy gate
Fake thy life, as it is not lived
Fake thy charity, you have nothing to give
Fake my conscience, I will believe
Fake my dignity, I've been deceived,
and so have you...........
--
This poem is the property of Valentino Assenza, any attempts of
plagerism, or theft are not reccomended. Failire to comply will
result in serious injury.
-------------------------------------------
4. Possible Microsoft Releases
Microsoft Hellblender: trapped on a different dimension,
you find yourself fighting evil appliances, under the control of
The Blender. The Blender has gained self awareness, and unless you
can find a way to annihilate it, it will churn you to bits. The
game requires a certain degree of strategy in avoiding the forks
and knifes that fly in your general direction, and diplomacy in
convincing your washing machine she is not going to be sold at
a garage sale. One wrong move, and all the underwear taken
hostage could shrink.
Microsoft Quake: it would run on the same engine as Monster
Truck Madness, however although you see all these amazing weapons, you
can't pick'em up. Worse then that, you can't shoot. In deathmatch you
can push people off bridges or against cactus, but for some odd reason
they never die. There is a hidden soccer field.
<leandro@ifront.com>
Microsoft Cab Simulator: "Where do you want to go today?"
With the New York package ("where da fuck ya wanna go today?")
with the Statue of Liberty and a perfect reproduction of Manhattan.
The Paris add-on ("voules vous arrive` a jour di?") also includes a
French-man playing the harmonica sitting beside you, cars parked all
over unusual places, and traffic like you've never seen before as you
try to squirm through streets made in the 17th century with a 1.1 liter.
Models include a Peugeout 504, Citroen Deux Chaveaux and a Renault 4.
<marcot@ifront.com & jason@ifront.com>
Microsoft is pleased to announce the acquisition of England(tm),
a leading country. England will bring many competitive advantages to
Microsoft including the world's leading language, some prime real estate,
and a strong military.
Microsoft has announced plans to continue offering England's products in
America and abroad, with some minor changes to the license terms.
These changes include:
1. English(tm) will no longer be made available on a Public Domain
basis. All users of English(tm) must register with Microsoft. A trial
version of English(tm) will be made available with a limited vocabulary.
2. Crumpets will be promoted as a new industry standard for lunch.
all Microsoft products will fully support Crumpets At Work (CAW).
3. Other changes will be announced in the near future.
(http://www.microsnot.com)
-------------------------------------------
In memory of Father Ross "Padre" Legere.
Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine "media you can abuse"
Published every monday (or Tuesday)
Disclaimer: unintentionally offensive.
Comments and Queries welcomed.
http://www.capnasty.org
Brought to you by C.C.C.P. (Collective Communist Computing Proletariat)
Leandro Asnaghi-Nicastro Colin Barrett
<leandro@capnasty.org> <tyrannis@capnasty.org>
ZimID 708EC8D1 1994/09/14 EC B0 97 59 1D FE 7C 32 7E 04 2C 66 47 41 FB 7D
