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blah-034
Ü ÜßÝ Ü Ü Ü
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Ý Û Ý Ý Ý
BLaH Ý ß Ý ÜßÜ Ý Ý
File ÝßÜ Ý Ý ÝßÝÜÝ Written Oct. 1st, 1992
#034 Ý Ýig Ýong Üßß Ýnd Ý Ýairy
Ý Ý Ý Þ Ý Ý Ý
ÝÜß ÝÜÜÝ ßÜÜßÞ ÜÝ ÞÜ
Presents
Ú ÄÄ ¿
"The Original Nazi"
³ by ³
Guido Sanchez
À ÄÄ Ù
Well, colombus day is coming up.. yes, I typed it in lower case for a reason.
It's not the influence of my new lover, sara gordon. To defy the common need
to capitalize upon colombus. Celebrations are soon to be underway in my home
town, and the glorious fable will be told of chris colombus, mapmaker turned
adventurer and explorer. Of course little johnny and dottie won't learn of the
genocide of the native peoples living there, of the countless deaths due to
that disease that makes kids stay home on halloween, chicken pox, and the
manner in which colombus's men happened to contract syphillis to bring back
and spread about europe with glee. No, they won't learn of the deaths incited
by greed for land, gold, and fame. They'll be out in the streets, viewing a
parade in some cases, unknowingly celebrating the rape of the world and it's
people.
So how will I be celebrating colombus day? I intend to gather about friends,
maybe ten or so, and spend the day roaming about the neighborhood, invading
other people's backyards and claiming them for ourself. Join me, won't you?
Claim them for yourself or for BLaH. Then, rape the denizens of the house and
give them some weird disease. You'll receive the fame and glory of being on
the BLaH Wall of Wannabes. Extra bonus points to those who live in towns that
are mostly submerged and can actually sail boats that they can mimic by tearing
off the bottom of a dorito chip.
So many of the commonly celebrated holidays are like this. Veterans Day. Let's
celebrate by invading another country in the name of a false ideal like
democracy, get hit by our own chemical weapons, and spend our final days under-
going chemotherapy treatment and keeping alert for that commercial for people
in our age ranges and military positions only.
Let's celebrate the day of our birth. Let's celebrate managing to stay alive
in this ever-contradicting ever-backstabbing world. Let's celebrate having to
live one less year. Let's celebrate you, me, our bodies, our minds, and our
chicken and stove top stuffing. Let's celebrate what we are, not what was. Put
the past behind you and laugh at it over your shoulder. Ridicule the present,
and make humorous assumptions for the future. Celebrate humor, regardless of
how pathetic the attempt, and being BLaH.
Gweed the Conqueror
{---End Of File.. Safe-T-NutZ says "4140 bytes total"------------------------}
Happy birthday tooo you.. happy birthday tooo you.. happy birthday dear
whoever has a birthday whenever you're reading this file and why aren't
you out with friends and family and food folks and fun and speaking of
which why don't you go out and get a job at mcdonald's like that nice Caton
boy? you're good for nothing, that's all, you lazy bum, when will you ever
move out of here and get the hell out of our lives for another 25 years when
we're ready to be put into a rest home and you'll serve all of the years
of stored cold hatred to us in the form of a bottle of Clorox?... Happy
Birthday.... toooooooooooooooooo you.
BLaH <sigh>ts
708-251-5094 @ Nun-Beaters Anonymous - BLaH WHQ @ [IL]
708-965-8965 @ Carbon Nation @ [IL]
305-927-3028 @ The Insane Asylum @ [FL]
419-475-3089 @ The Realm Of Death @ [OH]
819-778-0454 @ Brain Damage @ [QC]
Shoe. Megaphone. Grundies. Wankel Rotary Engine.
{---Nightline with Ms. Kerboppel <from 'simpsons' fame>---------------------}
