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File ÝßÜ Ý Ý ÝßÝÜÝ Written August 2nd, 1992
#003 Ý Ýig Ýong Üßß Ýnd Ý Ýairy
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ÝÜß ÝÜÜÝ ßÜÜßÞ ÜÝ ÞÜ
Presents
Ú ÄÄ ¿
"101 Things That You Can Excrete"
³ by ³
Guido Sanchez
À ÄÄ Ù
This is a list of things, 101 to be exact, that a person can excrete. This
is NOT a unisex list, sorry you people with the Men's [Bowel] Movement and
Women's Lib[rary for Dirty Jokes], but today, I'm just not my politically
correct self. This includes liquids, solids, gasses, and plasmas. Virtually
ANYTHING that can come out of your body. Enjoy! Alphabetized for your ultra-
convenience. Ok, so I'm a bit redundant. But it's educational! I never knew
there were so many ways to say "shit".
-Abcisic Acid <hormone that causes leaves to leave plant>
-Adrenaline <Body's natural speed>
-Appendix <Something you don't need, but highly covet>
-Athlete's Foot <Fungus on foot, is armed and dangerous>
-Bad Vibes <Dude, you're like, crowding my aura>
-Barf <Regurgitation>
-Bile <In the liver and gall bladder, emulsifies fat>
-Blackhead <An ethno-centric pimple>
-Blister <Something you pop and eat>
-Blood <The lifeforce>
-Body Odor <Smells Bad>
-Boogers <Snot>
-Burp <Oral gas>
-Callous <Rough skin spot>
-Carbon Dioxide <What you exhale.. hopefully>
-Cock Snot <Semen>
-Come <Semen>
-Crap <Shit>
-Cum <Semen>
-Cuticle <When you miss your fingernail by accident>
-Dandruff <In hair, flakes>
-Defecation <Shit>
-Digestive Enzymes <in the stomach>
-Earwax <Tasty Q-Tip Toppings>
-Dung <Excrement>
-Elixir <hermeaphrodites only. Elixir is a mix of male and female 'juices'>
-Enzymes <Things that break apart other things>
-Estrogen <Female hormone>
-Excrement <Anal Solid WastE>
-Fart <Anal Gas>
-Fingernails <Dead cells, recycled through the mouth>
-Flatus <A Fart>
-Frontal Cranial Lobe <They're coming to take me away, ha ha!>
-Fungus <Something growing in you>
-Gall Stone <Thing you pass>
-Gas <Thing you pass>
-Gastric Juice <The stuff used to marinate Camel Goulash>
-Glucagon <Sugar>
-Goiter Fluid <Drainable, isn't it>
-Hair <Dead cells, excreted>
-Hairball <what? you want I should discriminate against cats?>
-Hormones <What you hear inside a brothel>
-Insulin <Sugar thingie.. Diabetes!>
-Jock Itch <What every baseball player has>
-Love <Is similar to death, and is expended like so much urine>
-Lymph <The tasty part of an armpit>
-Marrow <A darn good steak topping>
-Menstrual Flow <Every month, unused eggs are flushed from the system>
-Milk <From a female mammal's breast after birth>
-Miscarriage <When a female has menstruation.. but the egg is fertilized>
-Molting <What is left after you shed your outer shell <the waste>>
-Mucous <Thick all-purpose secretion>
-Nasal Residue <Snot>
-Nostril Hair <The stuff your aging father has clumps of, it DOES shed>
-Odor <Sniff, sniff, uggh>
-Pee <Yes, urine>
-Pimples <The come off easily enough>
-Piss <Urine>
-Pheremones <Scents given off by things.. stimulating ones at that>
-Phlegm <The hawk of the hawk-ptooie>
-Platelet <Thing in blood that makes the blood clot to form a scab!>
-Plaque <on the teeth! Gingivitis! wow!>
-Pollen <hey, I've got some plants for friends>
-PreCome <I've read my adult tfiles.. I know what goes on!>
-Progesterone <Female hormone that initiates ovulation>
-Pubic Hair <Hair that comes out sometimes, in the genitalia, face, etc>
-Puke <Regurgitation>
-Puss <Urine>
-Regurgitation <Yes, the stuff you expell from your throat when you puke>
-Saliva <Spit!>
-Salivary Amylase<Spit!>
-Salt <Excreted through sweat, blood, tears, and urine>
-Scab <Hardened blood covering skin breeches>
-Seed <Either semen, or the floral term>
-Semen <Male reproductive fluids>
-Shit <Solid excrement through the anus>
-Skin Cells <just little flaky things>
-Snot <from the nose, sometimes the mouth>
-Sodium Bicarbonate <in the pancreas, neutralizes gastric acids>
-Solid Waste <Shit>
-Spit <The bubbly stuff you expell from your mouth or swallow>
-Spore <For those of you who are or house Fungi>
-Sugar <Excreted in Urine and Sweat>
-Sunburned Skin <Flakes away!>
-Sweat <You know, when you get hot, that OTHER sticky stuff>
-Tapeworm <hey! you excrete it ... eventually>
-Tear <A pure symbol of emotion, through the eye, my favorite>
-Testosterone <Male sex hormone, in the testes>
-That Shit That Collects In Your Eyes When You Sleep <????>
-THG <see Goiter Fluid>
-Toenails <generally, these just get recycled into your mouth..>
-Tonsil <lymph node that is removed>
-Urea <Urine before water is added>
-Urine <Liquid excretion, through the urethra>
-Vaginal Juices <wierd things, used for lubrication during intercourse>
-Voice Box <ask Chessman how this can be ... excreted>
-Vomittus <the love of my life corrected me one day.. it's not VOMIT>
-Water <Essentially, every fluid is water and something else>
-Yeast <Why do you think we have gynelotrimin?>
-Zit <Pimple>
-Zygote <Pre-Birth Child... abortions are excretions too!>
EXTRA TREAT!: See how many of the above are not only nouns, but OTHER parts
of speech as well <verb, adjective, conjunction>! Impress your
teacher!
Well, off to have my milk and cookies!
I ALMOST stopped at 69, because I couldn't think of any more off hand. Thank
whoever for biology textbooks from 1964, eh? So there ARE 101, count em yer-
self. I already alphabetized and described them, and am not about to fucking
number them too.
Have we missed any?? If so, please contact me on Nun-Beaters Anonymous. Talk
about a gimmick for a board.. "Call Today and Mention a Bodily Excretion for
50 File Points!"
"Piece and Love, all!"
- Ú/\¿
<³GS³>
À\/Ù
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