Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
blah-043
Ü ÜßÝ Ü Ü Ü
ßÝ ßÝ Ý Ý Ý
Ý Û Ý Ý Ý
BLaH Ý ß Ý ÜßÜ Ý Ý
File ÝßÜ Ý ÜÝ ÝßÝÜÝ Written March 20, 1994
#043 Ý Ýig Ýong ÜßÝ Ýnd Ý Ýairy
Ý Ý Ý Þ Ý Ý Ý
ÝÜß ÝÜÜÝ ßÜÜßÞ ÜÝ ÞÜ
Presents
Ú ÄÄ ¿
"I Came, I Saw, I..."
³ by ³
Guido Sanchez
À ÄÄ Ù
----------
was jaded:
hah.. a year ago I wrote the BLaH cum-bak file.. rebirth of BLaH and all that..
what a joke.. just called up obloid sphere in another "window".. hah..
I'm on a 486dx33 with 5 megs of ram and I feel like a fool every time some
warez geek asks me what kind of computer I've got and I oblige him flawlessly
with one breath... I see all these groups spawned by BLaH, or at least paying
homage, like PuD, MiLK, Propaganda Unlimited.. pretty incredible to say the
least.. I get mail from people on boards telling me that they loved BLaH, it
sure was funny, but they don't understand what it means when I reply "3y3 sed
mah FaRtZZZzzz sh0rrrre iZ ZtinK333"...hell, I sit down to write a BLaH file
and I can't even remember what number I'm on... call up Obloid Sphere, and I
can't even add a voting question.. download the files and remember their
names.. remember going through and editing them, or writing them if they were
mine.. remember talking to Connie on the phone "wouldn't it be great if we
could.." remember on a 300 baud Kaypro ][ with MITE term program.. still on
2400 though, not that you all care.. great clause that relenquishes me from
any "mis"perception of poserishness from you.. "who cares" is the phrase that
allows you to abdicate any responsibilty for what you say.. not that it matters
is another one.. I look through BLaH, old stuff and new, and cringe when people
greet me with "that stuff was great!" or "oh yah, I read your stuff". I'm
like every other pseudo-intellectual aspiring artist coffeehouse genX'r who
thinks that all his previous work was crap.. and it was.. but I revel in my
media, I suppose, and damn the message.. hah.. was watching Renegade on TV
today.. there was a guy arguing that he wasn't doing it for the result but
the process.. the thrill and all that.. human beings are processes, a stretch
in the rubber band of our biosphere.. science teaches that nature strives to
reach a lowest possible anything.. be it lowest possible energy level of
electron clouds, be it decay radioactive or otherwise, be it the very force
of gravity that makes us possible.. so what are humans? a spike in the rubber-
band of evolution, eventually going to snap back to normal.. point is, in the
beginning there was nothing, in the end there will be nothing.. we _are_ the
middle.. a process that will be undone soon enough, but we matter anyway..
because we're the only thing capable of mattering.. mathematics.. even
computers, are just virtual platforms built on a well of 1s and 0s.. computers
interpret and make a big thing about binary numbers, make virtual causes and
effect within the platform and while we should never lose sight of the fact
that it's JUST a platform, you've gotta take into account the fact that it's
the platform that made you and contains you.. human beings when you get right
down to it are merely discernation machines between chaos and order.. we search
for order continuously in an attempt to scythe away the unknown.. from our
first blurry blobs that we came to know as mom and dad to the extrapolation
of what is inherently good and what was inherently evil, we look for patterns.
And we act on these patterns.. that's what's so bullshit about the whole P.C.
anti-stereotype crusade.. Human beings are creatures that are built of
stereotype and prejudging. What am I saying? Nothing.. just feeling the
thrill of confusion.. I always said that the best way to confuse someone
was to give them unlimited choices.. be it cable tv or buying a car, you
can take advantage of these things.. noticing patterns and all.. the
cyclical nature of behavior and indeed BLaH itself.. okay, fuck this,
BLaH is back, faster than you can say que la fuerza este con usted..
------------
was spanish:
it's the number one show on TV worldwide, it's SABADO GIGANTE! With Don
Francisco.. aka Mario Kroitzberger.. some guy from central europe with a
flair for spanish.. I always get a kick out of the english influence on
the show and culture it represents.. "Esteban y Carlos tocos los discos
en la biblioteca. Yo tengo PEPSI COLA, es muy frio." regardless of
chatline and Irc assholes who call me a fucking spic, the result of many
years in texan school systems leaves me a bit wanting in the art of
conversation.
---------
was done:
girls that are innocent try to prove that they're guilty, and guilty
ones try to prove that they're innocent.. call her innocent and she
claims she's not and is on her back faster than you can say Gloria
Steinham <sp>.
Speaking of which, I found something in the newspaper the other day that's
sure to be worth millions in the years to come. That riot of a comic strip,
Cathy, of which I'm a regular reader, printed an error last week... in this
one strip, NOT A SINGLE TEAR OF SWEAT WAS FLYING FROM ANY CHARACTER AT ALL.
Needless to say, that one's going into the safety deposit box along with
<insert joke here>.
--------------
was conquered:
fine, here's a damn top ten list for you assholes who skip through
tfiles instead of pouring through, committing each line to memory like
you should... BURN ALL OTHER TFILES, BLAH HAS RETURNED DAMNIT..
Top Ten Reasons I'm A Fuck
--------------------------
10. I just thought of a punchline to that Cathy joke and I'm too damn
lazy to go back and add it in. ["along with that one episode of Fred
Basset that was actually funny"]
9. I think of titles of issues of BLaH before I think of topics.
8. His name was Rico, he wore a diamond..
7. Self-pity, self-loathing, self-domination
6. No future and no penis
5. Joey Buttafuoco
4. After I write this I'm going to turn on the TV, find a good fuck
movie and wack on, wack off..
3. Shit, it's 2am .. all the good ones are probably over by now.. wait,
it's a Saturday night.. I dunno
2. Too much influence over those easily influenced
1. Profundity doesn't come very easy to me.
------------
was flipped:
hah.. I do that a lot.. get a word any word, and then find the perfect
acronym definition for it.. see that dash separator up there? the ---
thingie? I did that first, and then stopped at an arbitrary length and
typed whatever, knowing that it would fill it all the way.. maybe I'm
watched over, maybe i'm naive, maybe it's subconscious, but the second
highest thing I believe with the most conviction <yes, there's a drop or
two left in me> is that things will ALWAYS work out.. I could be 30
miles away at 2am and have no way of getting home, but I have the faith
that things will work out.. and I've sure as hell gotten more than my
share of positive reinforcement because things always DO work out..
there's always a cheezy blaze 103.5 fm rockin schaumburg guy who'll give
me a ride 30 miles out of his way.. I go out and don't plan a when and
how I'll be back, I just know that I will... because what's the
alternative? Death, of course... the alternative is the nothingness that
is synonymous with death.. that's the burden of recognizing no god.. is
that when you die, you die.. to be an atheist is to be an ignorant fool.
Theists too. You'll find out soon enough what happens when you die, why
worry about it now.
---------
was BLaH:
Moral to this shit is that BLaH is.. vague at best, and it's the very
best indeed. Releases will be when I feel like it.. what I need now is
to spew <almost used the verb write> out some silly crappy release
that'll make joe Q warez laugh his 0-2 day ass off.. and still it gives
me pleasure, catering to people. I still feel empty feelings inside and
nothing will placate me. fuck this.. okay, I'm wacky again.. got gn00
ideas for gn00 filez... gn00 beginning? probably not.. the same old shit
recycled from conversations you've never heard but will see the
embellishment of in these tfiles.. the way god intended. Fuck You.
Love, Me.
<*** End of Rant ***>
<-Propaganda and Shit---------------------------------------------------->
BLaH is Big Long and Hairy, a tfile group for writers who want exposure,
fame and fortune, and a BLaH Prez Baseball Cap. Those interested in
joining should form your own damn group. What I can do you can do it
better. Not to promote isolationism, but in a global society with an
increasingly homogenous culture, spikes of individuality are precious
few. Why taint it by joining together with someone else.
People who think that was crap are encouraged to contact Guido Sanchez on
any board anywhere or through internet at sanchez@foley.ripco.com.
BLaH - Where we don't know what we think.
BLaH Support Boards - Where to get the fileZzz <sIgH>tZZz
Nun-Beaters Anonymous <708> 251-5094 - my place
The Obloid Sphere <708> 965-3098
Look for hardcopy BLaHzine, a collection of PrintShop clip art and zany
yet socially relevant cartoons, stories, essays, etc.. at your more
obscure bookhouses and coffeestores.
<---PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET--------------------------------->
