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Britcomedy Digest Vol 1 no 05
==================================
B R I T C O M E D Y D I G E S T
==================================
V. 1 M O N T Y P Y T H O N S P E C I A L NOV. 1994
no.5
A monthly electronic newsletter on British comedies.
Join us in celebrating 25 years of MONTY PYTHON!
================================================
* Why Monty Python Broke the Mold
* Spotlight: Graham Chapman
* Monty Python Trivia Quizes
* Record Review
* How Monty Python Has Changed My Life
* The Great ISBN MP Book List
Sketches:
-The Argument Clinic
-Dennis Moore
Regular Departments:
Letters
net.comedy.monty-python
FAQs and Comprehensive Lists
---------------------------------------------------------------------
IT'S........
Britcomedy Digest's Salute To Monty Python
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Monty Python's Flying Circus" premiered in October of 1969 and those who
fell under its spell were destined never to view parrots, hedgehogs, Spam,
or the everyday act of walking in the same way again.
C'mon, Python loyalists, con-FESS. You can't go into the cheese section of
a supermarket without smiling and perhaps looking about for Greek
musicians, now can you? Or see the plaid flannel shirts favored by
lumberjacks and not want to burst into the chorus of a certain song?
Doubtful, because that's just the kind of effect Python has had on people.
The cast of the Flying Circus came together in what can best be described as
a chain reaction. It started when John Cleese and Graham Chapman approached
the Michael Palin/Terry Jones team about doing a project together. The
latter agreed and suggested bringing in Eric Idle, who in turn recruited
Terry Gilliam.
The first episode of Python went out late on a Sunday evening in a time
period usually occupied by a program devoted to religious discussion. So
imagine the shock of those who turned in expecting to see *that* only to be
confronted with Picasso doing a painting while riding a bicycle, the deaths
of famous historical figures judged in the manner of the Olympics, and the
story of a joke soooooo funny that anyone who heard it literally died
laughing.
So the Python series began and would continue for the next five years,
during which time the Pythons broke most of the rules about what television
and comedy should be. From ex-Goon Spike Milligan came the idea that
sketches didn't necessarily need a beginning, middle, and end. This, along
with the advantage of having Gilliam's animations to connect disparate
sketches, took the emphasis away from the punch-line and allowed the
free-flowing stream of consciousness which would become the Python
trademark.
The final program was transmitted on December 5, 1974, and Python as a
series was history. Yet in a sense they were just beginning. Though he had
bailed out of the fourth (and final) series, John Cleese was happy to work
with his partners when they decided to bring their supreme adeptness at
being silly to the big screen in a series of films that began with "And Now
For Something Completely Different" and ended with "The Meaning Of Life,"
which won the prestigious Jury Award at the 1983 Cannes Film Festival.
What made Python click? At its best, this partnership was something akin to
a good marriage, where one partner's strength compensates for the other's
weakness, and the result is a harmonious whole. In this case, the verbal
strength and logic of Cleese, Chapman, and Idle was perfectly complemented
by the imaginative visual flair of Jones, Palin, and especially Gilliam.
Though they have all gone on to do successful solo projects, there was an
energy at work here which will never be duplicated.
So as Python fans everywhere gather to celebrate the troupe's 25th
anniversary by drinking Australian table wine and nailing each others heads
to the floor, Britcomedy Digest would like to dedicate this special issue
to Monty Python, and especially to Graham Chapman, whose untimely death
unfortunately makes any more "official" Monty Python projects impossible.
However, what they created from 1969 to 1983 is already proving that it
will stand the test of time. The strength of the satire combined with the
sheer silliness of it all virtually guarantees that future generations will
be inspired to call each other Bruce and sing about the glories of Spam.
-- Michelle Street, Contributing Editor
Staff
=====
Managing Editor..................Melinda 'Bob' Casino
Contributing Editor..............Michelle Street
Highlander.......................Michelle Casino
net.comedy, html archivist.......James Kew
Contributing writers: Michael Clarkson, Michelle Street, Alyce Wilson.
Britcomedy Digest (ISSN 1077-6680) <Schopenhauer Publishing Co.>
For details on back issues, see end of this issue.
LETTERS
=======
Just wanted to say GREAT JOB. I discovered the Digest yesterday and read all
the issues last night. I've loved Britcoms for a long time now, and it's
great to have a newsletter about Britcomedy.
Shawn Bridges
P.S. - I wouldn't mind contributing an article or two. Let me know some
detail of what your looking for.
EDITOR'S REPLY: Thanks. The following shows need writers: The Brittas
Empire, Who Dares Wins, Maid Marion, I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again,
French & Saunders, One Foot In the Grave, The Fall and Rise of Reginald
Perrin, The Goodies, Waiting for God, Open All Hours, Dave Allen, Yes,
[Prime] Minister, Have I Got News For You. If you're a fan of one of these
shows and would like write an article on them, please email me at
<casino@pobox.upenn.edu>.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
[Regarding the editorial ("British Comedy vs. MTV," v.1, no. 4)] I'm 15 and
enjoy British comedy (that's why I subscribe to Britcomedy Digest). To say
that teens don't like British comedy is a gross overgeneralization.
Although British comedy is mainly popular among intellectuals (like me), I
know many people who love Monty Python and are not intellectuals. I just
don't think its available to the mainstream U.S. society.
Nate - Cincinnati, Ohio
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
In his editorial "British Comedy vs. MTV," Paul Bricmont says that he
doesn't believe that the current bunch of teens and "twentysomethings" find
British comedy "accessible," because we've become used to
lowest-common-denominator sitcoms and MTV.
He probably has a point, and I'm sure that in his experience, that's true.
However, I would like to say on a more positive note that when I was in
college (1988-92), the student-union TV room was packed for Blackadder, The
Young Ones, Are You Being Served? and of course, that campus standby, Monty
Python. These were not just the "oddball" students, either. There was a
broad cross-section, all watching with apparent devotion.
On the other hand, if someone turned on "The Cosby Show", most people found
something else to do, and fairly quickly...
Michelle Moyer - Perry, Georgia
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hey "Bob", I thought the next issue was going to include a biography on
Julia Sawalha! How can you torture me like this? (Sigh) Oh well, I guess
I'll just have to wait ANOTHER COUPLE OF MONTHS for news on my bride-to-be
;-(! Hmmph! I hope you're satisfied!
Frank Santoro, Georgia State Univ.
News-Sports Reporter, WRAS 88.5 FM
EDITOR'S REPLY: I've written Ms. Sawalha's agent and am awaiting a response
in order to run a more extensive biography. Look for it in an upcoming
issue! I hope true love can wait a couple of months...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Due to the Equity ban against the _Aparthate Regime_ following that
ideology into history's dustbin, we in the RSA may now indulge (legally)
in the subtleties and intelligence of British humor. Our audiences,
though, have to be weaned, apparently slowly, from its regular diet of
Yank offerings, those with the precocious brats acting like 3 ft. tall
adults, and grown-ups who are like brain-damaged 7 year-olds. (Need one
name them?)
Seriously though, is it fair to compare "British" comedy to "American"?
Cheers remains a gem, and Seinfeld is right up there with the best, and
I'm sure the British also have their fair share of the cute, the precious
and the puerile.
Ben Louw
Pretoria, South Africa
EDITOR'S RESPONSE: No, it's certainly not fair to compare American and
British comedies--if it's done in the spirit of "we've got better comedies
than you do! Ya-boo, sucks to you!" However, comparing the similarities as
well as differences between two cultures often helps us reflect upon our
own.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Thank you to the nth degree for the Digests. I am a Brit living in South
Africa and Desperately Seeking a Homegrown Laugh - in South Africa we have
been fed low-budget U.S. comedies for years and only now with our
legitimate government (at last) are getting a few British ones (What's
Love) - but mainly on the damn pay-channel, which I refuse to subscribe to
to avoid the sexist crap they show the rest of the time.
So here I am in Cape Town with a stash of ancient (1989 was the last time I
was in London, <sniff>) vids of Alexei Sayle, Blackadder etc. My favourites
are Rik Mayall (swoon) and Ade Edmonson (well, I haven't even SEEN AbFab),
that Catflap and whatever (can't remember) one was for me side-splittingly
funny. I was also very into Who Dares Wins, where one sees [the actor who
plays] Baldrick in various other guises - and all very politically correct,
which I prefer.
Any South African residents with other vids feel free to email me at
<lgething@eagle.mrc.ac.za>.
Leverne Gething
Tygerberg, South Africa
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A WORD ABOUT MAIL: We want to hear from our readers--what your favorite
Britcoms are, what you like or don't like in Britcomedy Digest, and who
your favorite British comedians are! E-MAIL: <casino@pobox.upenn.edu> OR
WRITE: Melinda Casino, Britcomedy Digest, 404 So. 20th Street,
Philadelphia, PA 19146.
***************************
MONTY PYTHON TRIVIA QUIZ 1
***************************
Test your Python I.Q. by answering the following questions. If you get all
ten correct then I think we can safely say we've spotted a loony!
1. What two brothers from the East End ruled over British gangland?
(Hint: They were born on probation and one of them thought he was being
followed by a giant hedgehog called Spiny Norman.)
2. What profession did the homicidal barber always want to pursue?
3. How is the name "Raymond Luxury-Yacht" actually pronounced?
4. The man who pays to have an argument accidentally goes to what room
first?
5. What are some of the chief weapons of the Spanish Inquisition?
6. In one skit, Mr. Praline wants to buy a license for his pet fish. What
name do all his pets have?
7. How many sheds is composer Arthur Jackson supposed to have?
8. What letter can Mr. Smoke-Too-Much *not* pronounce?
9. What quiz show included the nude organist and a segment called "Stop
The Film?" during which people paid money to stop a compromising film
from being shown?
10. What is the name of the Minister For Silly Walks?
* ANSWERS *
(We're not going to be that easy. Read on...)
A MESSAGE FROM THE IDIOT IN SOCIETY...
This is the first collection of Monty Python articles that I have been
writing over the last few months. I would like your comments on them, and
any questions you may have on Python. My e-mail address for any
correspondence is <cabp34@cc.strath.ac.uk>.
For those of you, that don't have email facilities, write to Melinda Casino, my
editor. I am sure she will pass anything on to me.
Enjoy!
Michael Clarkson, BD's resident Monty Python expert.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
'And now for something completely different....'
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Fans of Monty Python's Flying Circus will all know that October 5, 1969 saw
the British t.v. premiere of the show. But what was life like for U.K.
citizens at that time? Let's take a brief look at some aspects of life in
October 1969.
Reproduced below is part of the Oct 5, 1969 schedule for BBC1 and BBC2:
BBC1
----
pm
7-25 Detective [Drama]
8-15 Film: Live Now - Pay Later [Ian Hendry]
9-55 News/Weather
1005 Omnibus [Photojournalism]
1055 Monty Python's Flying Circus [Photo of Carol Cleveland - caption
"Eek - it's Monty Python! 10.55"]
1125 Weather and Close
BBC2
----
pm
7-25 The World About Us [Wildlife documentary]
8-15 Music now [Classical music]
9-15 A Year in the Life of [Coalmine]
1005 Show of the Week [Features the late Terry Scott]
1050 Thirty Minute Theatre "Trial"
1120 News Summary
1125 Late-Night Line Up: [On "The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer"]
There had also been coverage of the Prix de L'Arc de Trimophe on this day in
1969; the race was won by Levmoss [the Prix is a very famous European horse
race].
Interestingly enough, MPFC was not broadcast in colour. Neither were the
first four episodes. Colour did not appear for a further six weeks.
Indeed, in Scotland only the first three episodes were shown in the Sunday
slot. Eventually, the first series was played out on Fridays, from November
28th. This was due to a Scottish country dance series forcing Braden's Week
into the Python slot.
Some of the prices at this time: [Note: the U.K. was still in the pounds,
shillings, and pence stage. The prices have been converted into the same
form of pounds and pence in use today.]
Product 1969 price [pounds.pence] 1994 Price [pounds.pence]
------- ---------- -----------
Cigars 0.10 2.40
Kettle 7.99 20.00
Slippers 1.56 8.00
Posting a letter 0.04 0.25
Gold watch 24.78 400.00
Holiday to Bermuda 143.00 1500.00
===========================================================
How Monty Python Changed My Life...
by Alyce Wilson <AMW108@PSUVM.PSU.EDU>
===========================================================
As I think back on my experiences with the Penn State Monty Python Society,
I wonder where to start: with the skits, the comaraderie, the semprin...
well, maybe not *there*.
I suppose my story starts in high school, when I learned life's lessons at
the feet of that great cultural sage, Doctor Demento. Soon, my friends and
I were swapping Python lines during band practice and threatening to give
each other the "comfy chair". Since then, I've always felt the true test
of a friendship was whether you could communicate in ridiculous British
accents.
Shortly after becoming a number at Penn State, I spied a poster for a
seminar on fresh fruit; and before I knew it I was absorbed into the
quivering, amorphous, but somehow comforting blob that is the Monty Python
Society. I helped start their newsletter. I organized the first annual
Upperclassman Twit-of-the-Year Competition. I even became president.
Meanwhile, my interest in MPFC had expanded into a general interest in
British comedy. For my undergraduate honors thesis, I researched two
comedy schools: the "Oxbridge Mafia" in England, exemplified by MPFC; and
the Second City Players, exemplified by Saturday Night Live. Somehow --
perhaps owing to arcane rituals involving SPAM -- I secured a telephone
interview with Terry Jones.
Although my life in Python has involved some set-backs -- the major one
being the death of my favorite Python, Graham Chapman, in 1989 -- I would
say that it's been a source of joy and pleasure. The friends I made in MPS
and the fun things I've done in the name of Python have lit a huge,
glowing, purple and green, revolving, shooting-out-sparks light in my life.
Oh, no. I feel a Debbie Boone song coming on. . .
Peace (and banging too bricks together),
Alyce
###
Alyce Wilson is also the maintainer of the "The Unofficial, Incomplete, But
Otherwise Completely Wonderful List of MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS fan
clubs and fanzines".
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Record review.........by Michael Clarkson
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"I will not buy this record; it is scratched" said a rather famous
Hungarian. However, Monty Python have recorded many a disc in their time.
Let's take a look at some of the records they have produced. All have now
been repackaged as CDs [ask your dealer if you want to try and buy these].
Note that there many other albums that the Pythons as individuals have been
involved with [particularly Cleese] but this article concentrates on the
records that were made when the Pythons were together as a group.
1970 Monty Python's Flying Circus-BBC Records/Cassettes REB 73M/REMC 73[UK]
The cover for this record is of the foot of the opening titles inside a TV
set. It contains some of the sketches from series 1 of the Circus series
notably the "Dead Parrot" and the "Lumberjack Song." It also includes some
extracts not seen from the TV series; example - some extra dialogue with
the Pepperpots, plus some new links from the Colonel.
1971 Another Monty Python Record-Charisma 1049
The cover originally shows a Beethoven symphony; but it has been defaced by
the Pythons. Most of the items here come from series 2, but there are some
new sketches and linking material.
1972 Monty Python's Previous Record-Charisma 1063 [UK] 0598 [US]
Sketches are from series 3; and there is also new material - notably an
abridged version of the "Fairy Tale" [originally from show 2 in Germany].
Cover design by Terry Gilliam.
1973 Monty Python's Matching Tie and Handkerchief-Chrisama 1080 [UK]; Arista
AL 4039[US]
This made history by claiming to be the world's first three-sided record;
depending on where the needle dropped; though now no longer the case.
Contains material from series 2 and 3, but there is mostly new material
here. The cover really was a matching tie and handkerchief but this is no
longer the case with the CD version now released.
1974 Live at Drury Lane-Charisma Class 4; rereleased by Virgin
Cover shows the famous Python foot on a theatrical stage. This album also
contains strong language. New linking material by Idle and Jones, plus
material from "At Last the 1948 Show." "The Liberty Bell March" is here as
well.
1975 Soundtrack to Monty Python and the Holy Grail-Charisma 1103 [UK];
Arista AL4050 [US]
Excerpts from the soundtrack and other material.
1976 Live at the City Center-Arista AL 4050 [US]
Mostly the same material as the Drury Lane album two years earlier.
1976 The Worst of Monty Python-Kama Sutra Records [UK only]
A repackaging of "Another Monty Python Record" and "Monty Python's Previous
Record."
1977 Monty Python's Instant Record Collection-Chrisma 1130 [UK]
This has another Terry Gilliam designed cover. It was supposed to fold out
into a record holder with records in it but there was a problem in that the
albums kept opening in the shops and elsewhere!! The record was later
rereleased without the Gilliam sleeve. The album itself is a "Greatest
Hits" in one sense as there is no new material.
1979 Life of Brain-Warner Bros K56751 [UK]
The soundtrack to the same. There is new linking material by Chapman and
Idle, plus the first appearance of "Always Look on the Bright Side of
Life."
1980 Contractual Obligation Album-Charisma 1152; Arista AL 9536
All-new material here; over half of the tracks are musical. "Farewell to
John Denver," one of the tracks, was deleted for legal reasons. "Sit on my
Face" also had legal threats but it survived. Cover drawn by Gilliam.
1983 Meaning of Life Soundtrack-MCA 6121
Soundtrack album from the film and linking material.
1988 The Final Ripoff-Virgin 1
When Virgin bought the Pyton catalogue this was a greatest hits compendium;
however, Palin did new links. Good if you want a general overview of
Python.The "Parrot Sketch" though has the title "Oh,Not Again." The Pythons
by that time were a little bored of this fan favourite.
1989 Monty Python Sings-MONTC 1 Virgin 25
All musical tracks. The best compilation of the songs.
These last two are the ones that I would recommend.
A little-known fact is that Python also released singles. Very briefly,
these were: [all on Charisma unless stated]
Lumberjack/Spam: CB 268 [71], Eric the Half a Bee CB 200 [72], Spam/Concert
CB 192 [72], The Single Arista 0130 [73] - promoted Matching Tie album
Always Look..../Brian Song Warner Bros [78] Galaxy Song/Every Sperm is
Sacred CBS WA3495 [83] I Like Chinese [87] CD single now deleted Always
Look....[91] Virgin 9 - reached No.3 in UK charts. In fact, Monty Python
are the only act ever to have the description 'Male Comedy Group' placed by
their entry.
These records should keep the true Python fan busy for hours.
###
-----------------------------------------------
Spotlight: Graham Chapman, by Michael Clarkson
-----------------------------------------------
To many, Graham Chapman was at first glance a quiet man, who smoked a pipe
while writing some of the finest Python sketches. However behind the
shyness was a very different man.
Graham Chapman was born on January 8, 1941 in Leceister, England. He was the
son of a policeman, and he his first decision was to follow in the
footsteps of his older brother and become a doctor. He was later to
comment: "There wasn't really a long term ambition in this...just as long
as I made progress in my education." His childhood, he recalled was a
normal one, apart from one small snag. "World War II. It did not happen to
everyone, but it happened to most. There were people from Germany who were
throwing bombs at us."
By 1961 he had reached Emmanuel College, Oxford, where after having his own
cabaret show for one year, he joined the Footlights club. Chapman remembers
how he was able to join: "There were only 25 undergraduates in Footlights
every year [including a very young Sir David Frost] and to join you had to
do a funny piece...were you good enough you did a 'smoking concert' which
was really a group of people entertaining their fellow members. Should the
auditionees have entertained the group well enough, they could join the
club...and the annual revue."
A young John Cleese joined in the same year as Chapman, and through the club
they became writing partners. The duo's first review was in 1962, and was
called "Double Take."
During the 1963 sabbatical Chapman elected to continue his studies at St.
Bart's Hospital, and was soon to qualify as a doctor. Shortly afterwards he
joined the revue of that year "Cambridge Circus" as another actor had
dropped out. However, by day he was still a practising doctor at St.
Bart's.
In October 1964 Chapman took a year out from his work, although it has to be
said in rather strange circumstances. Chapman had been asked to tour New
Zealand with the Cambridge Circus team, and his work arguably prevented him
from going. Now it happened that the Queen Mother was having tea with some
medical students including Chapman. Chapman mentioned to the Queen Mother
about the possibility of touring New Zealand. The Queen Mother replied,
"Beautiful place. You must go." Chapman's parents took this as in effect, a
royal command to go to New Zealand!
In 1965, Chapman joined the radio show "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" with
Cleese; unlike Cleese however Chapman left after just three shows. The
reason for this was to concentrate on the show "Doctor In The House" which
he was in the process of cowriting with Bernard McKenna. At this time,
Chapman also wrote another series, "The Frost Report"; although he later
commented that "The Frost Report POSED as a satirical show...but it was
really just linked sketches...The end of these sketches was really a tag
- only a device to show the end of the sketch...You could see what was
going to happen...some time in advance...as a result you tended to lose
the audience as the surprise element of the sketch had disappeared."
Chapman reports at this time that the five Pythons members involved in the
"Frost Report" all wanted out of the show. However it was David Frost's
insight that directly led "At Last the 1948 Show." The show's title came as
a joke to Frost: really a cryptic message to him that a series with them
was overdue.
Arguably this was Chapman's biggest break so far. Chapman considers the
program to be a milestone for him "We got a little bit of freedom for the
first time...we were actors and editors...[so] this gave us that freedom.
We had felt stiffled on the Frost Report...we could not use a lot of the
material that we had written for that show. But with "1948" and Python, it
was half an hour of comedy...with the latter, four extra writers meant a
lot of less writing for us! [that is, Cleese and himself]...We were
annoyed with convention..."1948" used a lot of the current technology in
the same way that Spike Milligan did." By current technology it mean that
the latest television effects that could be used were - the adjusting of
picture, the moving of pictures into small corners and so on. However, the
unconventiality of the show was clearly evident, as more often than not,
the cameras tended to come into shot quite deliberately.
Other shows that he did at this time included "Look That's Me Over Here",
"Don't Look Now","The Two Ronnies", "Broaden Your Mind", as well as "How to
Irritate People". This last named show was to provide inspiration of the
most famous comedy sketches of all time. At that time though, Michael
Palin, executive producer, called "How to Irritate People" "the best work
that Graham has ever done."
In 1969 before Python did four film scripts: "The Magic Christian", "The
Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer", "Rentadick", and "Ditto." Of these the
first three were filmed, and the fourth could have been fimed by Chapman
later on. "The Magic Christian" came from an idea by Peter Sellers.
According to Chapman, "Sellers phoned John and I and was asked to do a
script rewrite for 500 pounds a week. We apparently did the 14th draft of
that script for him. We completed it in a few weeks...and the producers
found the money for our script. However, on day one of shooting, the
script returned to the original version and we were disappointed with the
result." One sketch that apparently was rejected became "The Mouse Problem"
from show 1 of Python. [The one where all the Pythons really dressed as
mice and go to the closet to eat cheese]. The reason for this was
apparently that Sellers's milkman had taken a dislike to the sketch!
"The Rise and Rise..." [based on the title "The Rise and Fall of the Roman
Empire"] came from an idea by David Frost. Here Chapman was to met for the
first time David Sherlock and this would lead to contraversy later, when it
was announced that Sherlock and Chapman would be living together. One of
the things that was also noted was that the potential director of this
script, Harold Billingham said that Chapman "did not say anything...he
seemed very quiet to me." When the film was released audiences found it
disappointing. The reason for this was that the film took many years to
shoot, as there had been a change of management at Warner Brothers. Cleese
himself noted that there was no real story to the movie and promotionally
there was no real push for customers.
"Rentadick" is a film that Cleese and Chapman wanted to forget. Again the
original idea came from David Frost, but then he sold the rights to Ned
Sherrin. This led to a huge quarrel over the choice of director [Cleese and
Chapman wanted to have Charles Cricton-later to direct A Fish Called Wanda-
Sherrin said no], and eventually Cleese and Chapman asked for their
names to be removed from the script.
Then in the later half of 1969, Monty Python came together. However, before
it could be performed, it had to be written. How did a typically
Cleese-Chapman writing session come about?
"It took place at either my or John's house," said Chapman. "I would be
normally half an hour late, and John on time, but that was about all that
could be said for him, as he would lose entire sketches on his desktop
without difficulty...He had though a fairly tidy mind."
"The first half hour would be quiet, we would drink coffee while discussing
anything - what we wrote yesterday, for example, usually it was good, and
if lucky we would have something written before lunch...if not, we would
refer to some sort of reference book, like Roget's Theasurus to give us
inspiration."
"John did virtually all the writing on paper...I found that inhibiting since
no one could read my own writing. I did not bother to write neatly. John
would then lose the sketch, we would rewrite it...and get three sketches a
week as a result...not much really."
They would then go before the Python meetings, as Chapman recalled:
"Everyone read their own sketches...we would mark them like essays,
depending on the number of ticks:
3: Very good, everyone laughed.
2: Very good, could be improved.
1: Good enough for show; needs work.
0: Waste of time."
"Sometimes sketches would have to be moved around, and sometimes shows.
There were a number of reasons for this: timing (we had to be fairly exact
on this), sometimes all the good material was in one show and we wanted to
mix it around, sometimes because of the news (say a sketch about an airline
would not be put out if there had been a fatal airline crash)."
Then they had to perform the sketches. The following are highlights
of some of Chapman's roles.
Series 1
--------
Chapman was the first to speak on the show immediately after the opening
titles [excluding the It's Man]. Show 1 also saw the "Joke Warfare", and
the first appearance of the Colonel [though he was not stopping the show
yet]. Here was also "The Mouse Problem" as referred to above.
By Show 4 the Colonel was stopping the show; the character was to become a
real legend in Python folklore. Chapman has a memory about the 'Art
Gallery' sketch where Chapman and Cleese were dressed as pepperpots. They
had to eat a picture frame made of pastry: "There were not sweet and they
were rather dry..."
Show 5 had "Confuse-a-Cat" in it. Chapman recalls "On our neighbour's lawn
there was a cat; it never moved...we decided to send in Confuse-a-Cat
Ltd.!"
Show 6 has three highlights: Chapman and Cleese wrote "The Dull Life of a
City Stockbroker" as a direct parody of Palin and Jones's sketches written
for "Marty" [a 1969 series starring Marty Feldman]. Chapman also recalled
"Irving C. Saltzberg" as being "an overdominating character...more so than
the Colonel." "This was our revenge on the Hollywood moguls," said Chapman
in response to "The Magic Christian."
The final point about Show 6 is the fact that Chapman is the first to say
that well-known composer Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfernschpledenschlitt
erasscrenbonfrieddiggerdingledangledongleboursteinvonknackerthrasherappleb
angerhorowitzticolensicgranderknottspelltinklegrandlichgrumblemeyerspeller
warserkurstlichhimbleeisenbahnwagengutenhabendbitteinnurnburgerbratwurstle
gersputenmitzweimachelberhundsfutgumberaberschoendankeralbsfleischmitterla
ucher von Hauptkopf of Ulm. [NOTE: I am NOT typing that again thank
you...:)]
Show 8 gave the world perhaps one of Pythons' best-known and most loved
routines: the "Dead Parrot" sketch. The inspiration for the sketch came
from Chapman. Palin takes up the story "I told John [Cleese] about a guy
who sold a car to me. This chap would never accept that anything was wrong
with it. This led to the How to Irritate People sketch. Then Graham decided
to switch a parrot for a car. We all thought it was a wonderful idea."
Show 9's "Lumberjack Song", perhaps the best-known comedy sketch of
all-time, also involved Chapman as a Mountie [Cleese was also one]. Yet
Chapman was still a bit puzzled by it all: "I wonder how we [him and
Cleese] got there...we didn't want to be there; but it was jolly, and I
didn't mind. The costumes fitted, and we looked tall." Chapman also
inspired the mountaineering sketch with Sir George Head; he was an
experienced mountaineer. He was also later to notice the number of sketches
involved were involved in; he did not mind this.
Show 12 brought Chapman and Cleese's commentary on upper class "Yuppies".
"The Upper Class Twit of the Year": Cleese had noted a bar called "The
Loose Box" where the twits usually went; at night they disturbed Cleese by
banging car doors and making braying noises. We took revenge on them with
the sketch."
Show 13 saw Chapman being hit by the 16-ton weight. "This idea originally
came from the revue days. It was similar to an old boot which...ended a
revue. Thus it was a good way of removing characters quickly."
Series 2
--------
Show 1 began with "Silly Walks." "John and I wanted to do something about
Anger...we thought with all the different Ministries [eg there was a
Ministry of Drought at one stage] we thought of a Ministry of Anger. The
next delevopment was Silly Walks. My house at this time was on a hill, and
it seemed that everyone walked to defy gravity..so how about a Minister of
Silly Walks! We were not sure what to do next...so we asked Palin and Jones
to write the sketch for us."
In Show 4 Chapman played a nude man, in a discussion on censorship, and in
show 6 he played an Chinese character. Chapman played a lot of Chinese
characters. Why? "No reason really. I had a lot of Chinese friends...I
didn't mind." Show 6 also saw Raymond Luxury-Yacht "throat-warbler
mangrove" first appearance in interview that was abruptly halted by Palin
in his screen role.
"Luxury-Yacht" also appeared in show 9; but the most interesting part was as
the Pepperpot looking [with Cleese] at the penguin at the top of the TV
set. This took 14 takes and even the broadcasted version was not perfect.
"We were naughty-laughing at each other, in spite of the bawling
producer!"
Series 3
---------
John Cleese recalls that "Chapman and I only wrote "Cheese Shop" and "Dennis
Moore" in the whole series." Cleese was becoming restless of Python and
Chapman was less dominating in the amount of writing. However there are
still some highlights:
Show 4 saw the "Pantomine Horse is a Secret Agent" and various other
characters Chapman: "Don't quite know how that fell into my consciousness.
Several pantomine characters in Python made quite a spectacle."
Show 5 caused a stir in the UK; in "Summarise Proust" the word
"masterbation" was censored from Chapman's speech, he called this
"ridiculous." "How Palin and Jones got that word in, I don't know," he
continued. He also advised on the mountaineering sketch [Hairdresser's
expedition to Mount Everest].
Show 6 featured "Lake Pahoe"; Chapman recalls that "Palin and Jones went
down into a swimming pool in breathing appartus...they loved it! Jolly
good!"
Show 7 had the lifeboat shoot, it was a tough day. "Rough...virtually
everyone was seasick. I was fine but Jones and Cleese were NOT." Also saw
Cheese Shop sketch. Cleese remembers writing about 12 cheeses and asking
"Is this funny?" virtually all the time. Chapman smoked his pipe and just
said "Get on with it."
Show 10 had the "Wee-Wee" sketch in it. Chapman thought that the sketch was
broadcast, but it was not. The sketch consisted of a man showing his guest
around a wine-cellar; the guest drinks wine which the hosts says is really
"Wee-Wee." Unfortunately, said Chapman, Cleese was furious...he was in a
cold sweat over the matter. Palin and Jones, according to Chapman, knew of
this raw nerve that Cleese had to toilet training, and in fact there may be
some truth in the statement that the sketch was in fact written solely to
annoy Cleese. It also must be remembered that Cleese was very unhappy and
by this time had wanted out [which he was to do at the end of series 3. The
result was that Cleese tipped off the BBC censors and as a result the
sketch was cut.
Show 11 The funny thing here was the sketch "What the stars foretell." Palin
and Jones had written a parody of a Cleese/Chapman sketch. Chapman appeared
in it; the sketch parodied the use of reference books; during which Palin
and Jones subsituted words as in a theasurus entry; during which the
audience joined in as a large sheet with the words of the sketch were
written on it. Parodies were were very common; [remember "The Dull Life"
was a Chapman/Idle sketch parodying Palin/Jones], and there was a feeling
in the group that one writing partnership was better than another.
Show 12 By this time, Chapman's alcoholism was interfering with his work. In
one sketch Chapman had to be run over. This was easier said than done. "I
was visibly shaking though I had to lie still." However at this time,
Cleese was not aware. He was later to say "I thought during Holy Grail that
Chapman was suffering from the pressures of filming...it was really the
alochol abuse..." However, in hindsight, he noted: "When we wrote at this
time, it did seem a bit vague what he was saying." Palin concurred with
this: "Graham would be the first to admit that giving up drink did wonders
for him. He was a good writer of silly material. He has changed now...he
does what he does now only more efficiently."
At this time Chapman also appeared in the two German shows, in amongst other
roles, a doctor, two Pepperpot women, and as Bomber Harris who wrestled
himself.
Series 4
--------
In Series 4, with no Cleese, Chapman did not do as much. He played a General
[Shirley] which was the same role as the Colonel, "Mr.Neuton" in show 5,
and in show 6 a sketch with Douglas Adams as a patient. Chapman also
remembers when a tiger was on set, which was less dangerous than one would
expect. "We had to poke it with a sharp stick, it was on too much
sedative."
Show 2 is also notable, in that "Michael Ellis" is a virtual first draft of
the Holy Grail script. [Cleese received a writing credit]
Some years after the Flying Circus episodes, Chapman reviewed them again. He
was pleased with the results; he commented that "...we were the TV
equivalent of the Goons...the progress we made pushed back the barriers of
good taste..." He also commented that he was 'a little more tolerant of
past errors."
At this time Chapman had been in some of the best comical form of his life.
Consider the occasion when he received an award from the Sun newspaper in
the UK from Lord Mountbatten. He came out from his seat, arrived on stage,
and then accepted the award by jumping up in the air, shouting "Eeke!" and
returned to his seat by crawling along the ground with the award in his
mouth.
However he was not looking forward to the shoot of the Holy Grail, where he
played King Arthur. His drinking problems had reached their peak; he was
drinking eight pints of gin per day. This became clear on the first day of
the shoot; he recalls the day when he decided to quit the booze: "We were
filming the Bridge of Death sequence at 7 in the morning...I had no drink,
and nor had anyone else...after each take I went away and was throughly
miserable!" In fact if it had not been for Chapman, Python could have been
disbanded on the set of the Holy Grail. The crew had apparently been close
to mutiny; Chapman bought everyone drinks and the whole spirit of the crew
changed in that one evening. By 1977, he had put down the bottle; the
change would become self-evident.
As well as Adams helping Chapman write a sketch for Python, he cowrote with
Bernard McKenna [this had included several episodes of the sitcom "Doctor
In The House"]. Chapman cowrote with both a one-off special "Out of the
Trees" in early 1976. This was a series of sketches which was supposed to
be a pilot for a series. But the series never happened - with Chapman
involved in "Life Of Brian." "I don't think it was reviewed - it was so
insignificant." April 1976 saw him also appear in "Pleasure At Her
Majesty's" for Amnesty International.
By 1978 he had two films on the go, one was "The Odd Job" which he produced,
starred and wrote himself. The first film also starred Simon Williams, and
Diane Quick. The film had its problems; Keith Moon was unavaliable as The
Odd Job Man, but David Jason filled in well; also the first choice of
director was also unavaliable. However Chapman himself was pleased:
"[Producing] was quite fun...I have enjoyed myself," he said afterwards.
He was also involved in Life of Brian in a big way - the title role in fact.
One of the strange part of the films was that Chapman had to go naked
before Muslim women [this is banned as part of their religion]. When an
unclothed Chapman did this before several hundred of them, it was reported
that there was screaming. Chapman however commented that the scene did
work.
The spaceship scenes near the end of the film were done in London. At this
time Chapman was living in America, and could only spend one day in London.
"When I arrived in London, I was put in a box like a spaceship...I spent
eight hours in there, dressed as Brian...yet the whole scene went well! The
trouble was I did not where I was for a week afterwards..."
While in America Chapman made the only real quiz show appearance of any
Python when he was on "The Hollywood Squares." He did not enjoy it as he
found it too limiting.
The start of the 1980s saw Chapman work on "The Big Show" for NBC. This was
a short-lived variety show that saw Chapman work on sketches, including one
from "At Last the 1948 Show." Again he enjoyed the work but also called it
"bizarre."
The same year saw the publication of his autobiography "A Liar's
Autobiography: Vol VI" a much longer publication then he first intended. He
said of it "Nearly all of it is true...except for the imaginative sequences
which are not...It is difficult to describe...it has a style of its own."
He was working on a sequel; but the discs were stolen, and were not
recovered.
In 1981 he started lecturing to American audiences in "An Audience with
Graham Chapman." This was originally by accident - he attended a Python
film showing and was unaware that he had to say a few words. He enjoyed
that evening - March 2, 1981 - "they had to drag me off stage." From then
on he lectured for some years around the U.S. and Australia. The audiences
loved it. Among the sketches he used was "Irving C.Saltzberg", "Salad
Days." He also performed the "Medical Love Song" and "Bomber Harris." Film
was also shown of the "Dangerous Sports Club" - a club that did wacky
activities; he had participated in two such dares - thrown from a
catapault, and riding down the Cresta Run - and was not injured.
Another feature of the show was when he would at the beginning ask for two
minutes of abuse, and this was also popular. The feature was also included
in 1988 at the Nelson Mandela Concert held at Wembley Stadium that year.
The performances gave him a lot of self confidence. When Terry Jones went
to see Chapman perform, he could hardly believe his eyes that he was seeing
the same quiet unassuming man perform as he did. The same year saw him
perform in "The Secret Policeman's Other Ball"; to promote this he did an
"ad" live on the NBC Saturday Night Live dressed as the Colonel but wearing
a tutu as well.
After the "Hollywood Bowl", and "The Meaning of Life" with the rest of the
team, Chapman turned his attention to his dream pirate film "Yellowbeard."
The cast and budget were both good; however, the results were
disappointing. Sadly, Marty Feldman died soon afterwards and the film was
dedicated to him. Chapman enjoyed the acting scenes, and was inspired by
Keith Moon, "a very real pirate." When seeing years later on video, he
thought that the first 2/3rds of the film were good, but the rest was not
satisfactory.
In 1987 Chapman made a brief appearance in "Still Crazy Like A Fox", and
also made a film show called "The Dangerous Film Club" about strange films
[in fact made 5 such shows]. In early 1988 he wrote and starred in "Jake's
Journey" a new science fiction series; the $1.2 million plot was never
aired. Most of the CBS executives loved it and further episodes had been
planned, but the series never came to fruitation.
In June 1988 he became ill, and was diagnosed with cancer. He spent the next
year in and out of hospital. Discharging himself in September 1989, he
filmed the 20th Anniversary Special with the Pythons, but on October 1, he
was re-admitted to hospital. On October 4, 1989, Graham Chapman died.
Being the day before the 20th anniversary of Python, Terry Jones said, "That
was the worst case of party-pooping I have ever come across." There was a
small funeral service, and a memorial service held in London in December
1989, and in Los Angeles in January 1990. The BBC film "Life of Python"
shown in October 1990 was dedicated to his memory.
So how would Graham Chapman be best remembered? In his own words: "I hope I
will have acheived something lasting." Like his famous parrot, Chapman
himself is no longer with us, but his comedy will be with us for many years
to come.
###
===================================================
The Great ISBN MP Book List.....by Michael Clarkson
===================================================
Special thanks to Brian Johnson, an American penfriend who contributed much
to this list.
How the entry is arranged:
Country: Publisher, ISBN, H=Hardback P=Paperback
_________________
1. Graham Chapman
1980 A Liars Autobiography: Volume 6 [His own autobiography; with other
contributions. Was working on a sequel but this was stolen and was thus
never will be published]
UK: Methuen 0413475700 H
UK: Magnum 0417072007 P
US: Methuen 0416009018 H
______________
2. John Cleese
1977 The Strange Case of the End of Civilization as We Know It [From LWT
film of same name] UK: Star 0351301090 P
1977 Fawlty Towers [Three episodes: Builders, Hotel Inspectors, Gormet
Night] UK: Futura 0860075982 P [wrote with Connie Booth]
1979 Fawlty Towers Too [Wedding Party, Touch of Class, Germans]
UK: Weidenfield/Nicolson 0708815472 P [wrote with Booth]
1983 Families and How to Survive Them [w. with Skynner]
UK Methuen 0413526402 H
UK Methuen 0195204662 P
US Oxford University Press 0413565203 P
UK Mandarin [1990] 0749302542 P
UK Mandarin [1990] 0749314109 P
1984 Freaky Fables [Foreworded JB Handelsman's book]
UK Methuen 0413559807 P
1984 Golden Skits of Wing Commander Muriel Volestranger [Cleese under assumed
name!! Sketch book]
UK Methuen 0413415600 P
1984 I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again [Scripts from show]
UK Hodder and Stoughton ISBN 0713717599 P
1988 Complete Fawlty Towers [with Booth]
UK Methuen 0413183904 H
UK Mandarin [1989] 0749301597 P
US Pantheon [1989] 0679721274 P
1993 Life And How to Survive It [with Robin Skynner]
UK Methuen 0413660303 H
________________
3. Terry Gilliam
1978 Animations of Mortality [About animation]
UK Methuen 0413393704 H
UK Methuen 0413393801 P
US Methuen 0458938106 P
1981 Time Bandits [Screenplay with Gilliam]
UK: Hutchison [ISBN not avaliable] P
US: Doubleday 0385177321 P
1989 Adventures of Baron Munchausen [Film's novel]
UK: Methuen 0749300175 P
1989 Adventures of Baron Munchausen [Screenplay]
US: Applause 155783041X
1992 Gloom Doom and Very Funny Money [by Neil Innes. Gilliam did
illustrations] UK Picadilly 185340134X H UK Picadilly 1853401390 P
____________
4. Eric Idle
1975 Hello Sailor [Novel]
UK Futura 0860072355 P
1976 Rutland Dirty Weekend [& Palin]
UK Methuen 0846701855 P
UK Methuen 0413365700 P
1982 Pass the Butler [Play script]
UK Methuen 0413499901 P
______________
5. Terry Jones
1974 Dr Fegg's Nasty Book for Boys and Girls
UK Methuen 0872260054 P
1976 Dr Fegg's Nasty Book of Knowledge
US [no publisher noted] 0872260054 P
1978 Ripping Yarns [With Palin. Series 1]
UK Methuen 0413462501 H
US Pantheon [1979] 0394736780 P
1979 More Ripping Yarns [With Palin. Series 2]
UK Methuen 0413475301 P
US Pantheon [1980] 0394748107 P
1980 Chaucer's Knight: Portrait of a Medical Mercenary [Medieval]
UK Weidenfield/Nicolson 0413496406 P
US Routledge 0413575101 P
1981 Fairy Tales
UK Pavilion 0907516033 H Penguin 0140322620 P
US Schocken [1982] 0805238077 P
UK Penguin [1983] 0140316426 P [1990] 0140322620 P
1983 The Saga of Erik the Viking [Won 1984 Children's Book Award UK]
UK Pavilion 0907516238 H Penguin 0140322612 P
US Schocken 080523876X P
UK Penguin [1985] 0140317139 P [1988] 0140322612 P
UK Robson [1989] [Comic book version] 0869516318 P
1985 Dr Fegg's Encyclopedia of All World Knowledge [Nasty Book + other
items] US Peter Bedrick 0413564304 P
1985 Nicobobinus [Children's book]
UK Pavilion 1851450009 H
US Peter Bedrick 0872260658 H
UK Penguin [1987] 0140320911 P
UK Chivers [1991] 0745113192 Paperboard; unusual
1986 Goblins of the Labyrinth [with Brian Froud]
UK Pavilion 0851450580 H
1987 Personal Services [Introduced for David Leland]
UK Pavilion 1851451463 P
1988 Curse of the Vampire's Socks [Poetry]
UK Pavilion 1851452338 P
UK Penguin [1990] 0140327339 P
1988 Attacks of Opinion [Newspaper articles from UK]
UK Penguin 0140328955 P
1989 Erik the Viking [Screenplay]
UK Methuen 0413626806 P
US Applause [1990] 1557830541 P
1990 Complete Ripping Yarns
UK Methuen 0413638200 H 0413639800 P
UK Mandarin [1991] 074931222X P
1992 Fantastic Stories
UK Pavilion 185145957X Paperboard
UK Chivers [1993] 0745119085 Large print
1992 Stroud Valley Childhood [Autobiography]
UK Sutton 0750902574 H
________________
6. Michael Palin
1978 Ripping Yarns
1979 More Ripping Yarns ... see Jones
1981 Time Bandits ... see Gilliam
1982 Small Henry and the Toothache Pills [Children's]
UK Methuen 07416271605 P
1983 Missionary [Screenplay]
UK Methuen 0413510107 H 0413513904 P
1986 Limericks
UK Hutchison 0099476800 P
1986 Mirrorstone [Children's]
UK Johnathan Cape 0220024086 P
US Alfred Lopef same ISBN P
1986 Cyril and the Dinner Party
UK Pavilion 1851450696 P
1986 Cyril and the House of Commons
UK Pavilion 1851451307 P
1987 Happy Holidays: The Golden Age of Railway Posters
UK Pavilion 1851451307 P
1989 Around the World in 80 Days
UK BBC 0563208260 H 0563362138 P
US BBC 0563208260 H
US Charwood [1991] 0708985734 Large print
UK BBC [1992] 0563367121 P
1992 Pole to Pole
UK BBC 0563362839 H
1994 Oct 27 Photos of Pole to Pole come out in UK in book form.
_________________________________
7. Other Books on the Subject....
1977 Jabberwocky [Adaption of script]
UK Pan 0330250124 P
1978 The Odd Job [Adaption of Chapman's film]
UK Arrow 0098918950X P
1981 Time Bandits [Novel of film]
UK Arrow 0099260204 P
1983 Frank Muir's Book of Comedy Sketches
UK 2nd ed 1992 Penguin 0140157328 P
1984 A Private Function [Novel of film]
UK Faber and Faber 0571135714 P
1984 Courage to Change [On Chapman's alochol abuse; Dennis Wholey wrote] US
Houghton 0395359775 P
1987 Battle of Brazil Jack Mathews [Gilliam fights with Universal over film]
UK Crown 0517565382 H
1991 Losing the Light: Terry Gilliam and the Munchausen Saga Andrew Yule
US Applause 1557830606 P
1991 Fisher King [Screenplay]
US Applause 1836242130 P
1991 Fisher King [Novel based on screenplay]
US Signet 0451172221 P
1992 Cleese Encounters J.Margolis [Biography - NOT authorised]
US St. Martin's 0312081626 P
___________________________
8. Books written as a team
1971 MP's Big Red Book [BLUE cover!]
Methuen 0446870773
1973 Brand New MP Bok
Methuen/Regenery [1976] 0809280469
1974 Brand New MP Papperbok
Methuen/Warner Books [1976] 0446870781
1981 Complete Works of Shakesphere and MP: Vol. 1 MP
Methuen 0413494500
1988 MP's Gift Boks
Methuen 0413145204
1977 Monty Python and the Holy Grail Book
Methuen 0458929700
1979 Monty Python`s The Life of Brian/MontyPythonScrapBook
Methuen 044185686
Ace 04414982406
1983 Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Methuen/Grove Press [US] 0394624742
1988 Just the Words
Methuen Vol 1 0413625400 Vol 2 0413625508
_________________________________________
9. And additional books Python-related...
1982 From Fringe to Flying Circus by Roger Wilmut
Methuen London, Ltd. 413 50770 X
Life of Python by George Perry
Little, Brown 0-316-70015-0
1989 The First 20 Years of Monty Python by Kim "Howard" Johnson
St. Martin's Press 0-312-03309-5
1991 And Now For Something Completely Trivial: The Monty Python Trivia and
Quiz Book by Kim "Howard" Johnson.
St. Martin's Press 0-312-06289-3
===========================
MONTY PYTHON TRIVIA QUIZ II
===========================
Grand prize is your choice of a beautiful lounge suite or the Norwich
City Council!
Hello, good evening, and welcome to "Spot The Python." In this quiz you
must name the Python who played the following characters:
1. Boxer Ken Clean Air System.
2. Brian's mother Mandy (a ratbag) from "Life of Brian."
3. Cardinal Ximinez, leader of the never-expected Spanish Inquisition.
4. Mr. Cresote, the world's fattest man, from "Meaning of Life."
5. Mr. Smoke-Too-Much, who goes to the travel agency to arrange an
adventure holiday (and nothing else).
6. Reginald Pither, who's on a cycling tour of North Cornwall.
7. Mrs. Conclusion, who has just had her budgie put down.
8. Arthur Putey, mousey guy.
9. Mr. Milton, the sole proprietor and owner of the Whizzo Chocolate
Company.
10. American Indian theatre goer who is "heap big fan Cicely Courtneidge."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dennis Moore Sketch from Monty Python's Previous Record & TV Series
(Special thanks to Sir DarkWolf <drkwlf@wam.umd.edu>.)
England, 1747
(Sounds of a coach and horses, galloping)
Cleese: Stand and deliver!
Chapman: Not on your life (SHOT) ... aagh!
(Girl screams)
Cl: Let that be a warning to you all. You move at your peril, for I have
two pistols here. I know one of them isn't loaded any more, but the
other one is, so that's one of you dead for sure...or just about for
sure anyway. It certainly wouldn't be worth your while risking it
because I'm a very good shot. I practise every day...well, not
absolutely every day, but most days in the week. I expect I must
practise, oh, at least four or five times a week...or more, really, but
some weekends, like last weekend, there really wasn't the time, so that
brings the average down a bit. I should say it's a solid four days'
practice a week...At least...I mean...I reckon I could hit that tree
over there. Er...the one just behind that hillock. The little hillock,
not the big one on the...you see the three trees over there? Well, the
one furthest away on the right... (fade)
(Fade up again)
Cl: What's the...the one like that with the leaves that are sort of
regularly veined and the veins go right out with a sort of um...
Girl: Serrated?
Cl: Serrated edges.
Idle: A willow!
Cl: Yes.
Id: That's nothing like a willow.
Cl: Well it doesn't matter, anyway. I can hit it seven times out of ten,
that's the point.
Id: Never a willow.
Cl: Shut up! It's a hold-up, not a Botany lesson. Now, no false moves
please. I want you to hand over all the lupins you've got.
Jones: Lupins?
Cl: Yes, lupins.Come on, come on.
Id: What do you mean, lupins?
Cl: Don't try to play for time.
Id: I'm not, but...the *flower* lupin?
Cl: Yes, that's right.
Jo: Well we haven't got any lupins.
Girl: Honestly.
Cl: Look, my friends. I happen to know that this is the Lupin Express.
Jo: Damn!
Girl: Oh, here you are.
Cl: In a bunch, in a bunch!
Jo: Sorry.
Cl: Come on, Concorde! (Gallops off)
Chorus (sings):
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, galloping through the sward,
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, and his horse Concorde.
He steals from the rich, he gives to the poor,
Mr Moore, Mr Moore, Mr Moore.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Argument Sketch from Monty Python Live at City Center
(Special Thanks to Sir DarkWolf <drkwlf@wam.umd.edu>.)
A man walks into an office.
Man: Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please.
Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?
Man: No, this is my first time.
Receptionist: I see, well we'll see who's free at the moment.
Mr. Bakely's free, but he's a little bit concilliatory. No.
Try Mr. Barnhart, room 12.
Man: Thank you.
He enters room 12.
Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that...
Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!
Man: What?
A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS
STUFFY-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!
A: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!
M: Oh! Oh I see!
A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.
M: Oh...Sorry...
A: Not at all! (under his breath) Stupid git.
The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.
Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Man:(pause) I've told you once.
Man: No you haven't!
Other Man: Yes I have.
M: When?
O: Just now.
M: No you didn't!
O: Yes I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I'm telling you, I did!
M: You didn't!
O: (breaking into the developing argument) Oh I'm sorry, is this a five
minute argument, or the full half hour?
M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
O: Just the five minutes. Thank you.
Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not!
O: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did! ___
M: Oh no you didn't! \
O: Oh yes I did! \
M: Oh no you didn't! \
O: Oh yes I did! \
M: Oh no you didn't! \
O: Oh yes I did! \
M: Oh no you didn't! \
O: Oh yes I did! > very fast
M: Oh no you didn't! /
O: Oh yes I did! /
M: No you DIDN'T! /
O: Oh yes I did! /
M: No you DIDN'T! /
O: Oh yes I did! /
M: No you DIDN'T! /
O: Oh yes I did! ___/
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument!
(pause)
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't! (pause) It's just contradiction!
O: No it isn't!
M: It IS!
O: It is NOT!
M: You just contradicted me!
O: No I didn't!
M: You DID!
O: No no no!
M: You did just then!
O: Nonsense!
M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
(pause)
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is!
(pause)
I came here for a good argument!
O: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an *argument*!
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
O: Well, it CAN be!
M: No it can't!
An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a
proposition.
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!
M: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't".
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just
the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
O: It is NOT!
M: It is!
O: Not at all!
M: It is!
>DING!< The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.
O: Thank you, that's it.
M: (stunned) What?
O: That's it. Good morning.
M: But I was just getting interested!
O: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes!!
O: I'm afraid it was.
M: (leading on) No it wasn't...
(pause)
O: (dirty look) I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
M: WHAT??
O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five
minutes.
M: But that was never five minutes just now!
(pause...the Other Man raises his eyebrows)
Oh Come on!
Oh this is...
This is ridiculous!
O: I told you...
I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again) There you are.
O: Thank you.
M: (clears throat) Well...
O: Well WHAT?
M: That was never five minutes just now.
O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: Well I just paid!
O: No you didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: (unable to talk straight he's so mad) I don't want to argue about it!
O: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
M: Ah HAH!! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH!
Gotcha!
O: (pause) No you haven't!
M: Yes I have!
If you're arguing, I must have paid.
O: Not necessarily.
I *could* be arguing in my spare time.
* ANSWERS TO QUIZ 1 *
1. The Piranha Brothers.
2. He always wanted to be a lumberjack.
3. It's pronounced "Throat Wobbler Mangrove".
4. Abuse.
5. Surprise, fear, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion
to the Pope. Also nice red uniforms!
6. Eric.
7. Two.
8. He can't pronounce the letter c. (But he can prounounce 'k'.)
9. Blackmail.
10. Mr. Teabag.
* ANSWERS TO QUIZ II*
1. John Cleese
2. Terry Jones
3. Michael Palin
4. Terry Jones
5. Eric Idle
6. Michael Palin
7. Graham Chapman
8. Michael Palin
9. Terry Jones
10. Eric Idle
=======================
net.comedy.monty-python
=======================
If you find yourself humming the Dennis Moore tune, but can't recall all the
words, it's time you checked out the amazingly large body of MP songs,
scripts, and sketches available on the internet.
Monty Python fans have their own newsgroup, alt.fan.monty-python, which
discusses the Pythons and is home to much Pythonesque silliness.
The alt.fan.monty-python FAQ, maintained by "Sir DarkWolf"
<drkwlf@wam.umd.edu> describes some of the unusual behavior of the
newsgroup. A number of other periodic postings can also be found there,
including the Monty Python FAQ, the Pythonography, and the List of Monty
Python Fan Clubs and Fanzines.
These files, and a large number of scripts to sketches, songs, and films,
can be found at the two main comedy archives, cathouse and tardis:
ftp://cathouse.org/pub/cathouse/humor/british.humour/monty.python/
ftp://src.doc.ic.ac.uk/media/tv/collections/tardis/uk/comedy/MontyPython
Many other sites hold Python-related material; the Monty Python FTP list,
available from both sites above, is a comprehensive list of what's
available where.
WWW users should check out the new Monty Python Home Page:
http://www.iia.org/~rosenr1/python/
Check out the Python documents on the net--you'll soon be leading your local
pub with a round of the Philosopher's Song.
---> Mail news and views on "net.comedy" to James Kew <j.kew@ic.ac.uk>.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
FAQs & COMPREHENSIVE LISTS, ETC.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS! is what you'll think when you see Dave Chapman's
<Dave@Cheers.demon.co.uk> new Episode Guide for this much-loved Britcom.
It's available by ftp from:
ftp://ftp.doc.ic.ac.uk/public/media/tv/collections/tardis/uk/comedy/
AbsolutelyFabulous/AbsolutelyFabulous
or by e-mail by sending the following three-line message to
ftpmail@doc.ic.ac.uk:
open
cd /public/media/tv/collections/tardis/uk/comedy/AbsolutelyFabulous
get AbsolutelyFabulous
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The MONTY PYTHON FAQ is up at alt.comedy.monty-python. Sir DarkWolf
<drkwlf@wam.umd.edu> maintains it--ask him for his more extensive MP index.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Maintain an episode guide, cast index, or FAQ related to a British comedy?
Upload it to the CATHOUSE.ORG BRITISH COMEDY PAGES! Contact James Kew
<j.kew@ic.ac.uk> for details. The URL is:
http://cathouse.org:8000/BritishComedy/
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
AMERICANS: got a wad of dough burning a hole in your pocket and can't find
any British videos for sale? Then check out the mail order resources listed
in James Kew's alt.comedy.british FAQ. It's posted to that newsgroup at
least once a month, and is also at the cathouse.org British Comedy Pages
(see URL above).
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Is "knob" *really* what you think it is? THE CULTURAL REFERENCE GUIDE TO RED
DWARF FOR AMERICANS, maintained by Ron O'Dell <keeper@cats.ucsc.edu>, can
help you out! Posted at alt.tv.red.dwarf.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"The Unofficial, Incomplete, But Otherwise Completely Wonderful List of
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS fan clubs and fanzines"--WHEW!--is posted at
alt.comedy.british and alt.fan.monty-python. CONTACT: Alyce Wilson
<amw108@psuvm.psu.edu>
cathouse.org/pub/cathouse/humor/british.humour/mont.python/fan.clubs
http://www.iia.org/~rosenr1/python
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"The Definitive UK Sitcom list," is posted on the 1st of each month to
rec.arts.tv.uk and alt.comedy.british. It includes the title, years first
broadcast, core cast, writer(s), and plot synopsis of British comedies.
CONTACT: Dave Budd <D.Budd@mcc.ac.uk>
---------------------------------------------------------------------
CIRCULATION/SUBSCRIPTION INFO.
==============================
Britcomedy Digest (ISSN 1077-6680) is a free electronic fanzine posted
monthly to: alt.tv.red-dwarf, alt.comedy.british.blackadder,
alt.comedy.british, alt.tv.comedy-central, rec.arts.tv.uk, alt.zines,
alt.fan.monty-python, alt.fan.douglas-adams, alt.fan.rumpole.
On Delphi: In the "UK-American Connexion" forum, cf171.
On GEnie: In the "Showbiz" roundtable, page 185.
If you wish to receive one in your mailbox, send your e-mail address to the
editor <casino@pobox.upenn.edu>.
BACK ISSUES
===========
Back issues are available by ftp from two sites. Login as "anonymous",
giving your e-mail address as the password. URLS:
ftp://cathouse.org/pub/cathouse/humor/british.humour/britcomedy.digest/
ftp://fir.cic.net/pub/Zines/BritComedy
HTML-formatted issues are also available on the WWW at the cathouse.org
British Comedy Pages:
http://cathouse.org:8000/BritishComedy/
You can also find BD at the following sites:
UK: http://http2.brunel.ac.uk:8080/Britcom/
US: http://satelnet.org/~mentat/Britcom/
SUBMISSIONS
===========
Britcomedy Digest is always looking for knowledgeable fans with vigorous
writing skills to contribute articles. There are plenty of shows crying out
for attention! Please contact the editor <casino@pobox.upenn.edu> for
details.
