blah-007

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

BLaH

 · 5 years ago

  

              Ü ÜßÝ   Ü             Ü   Ü 
               ßÝ ßÝ   Ý             Ý   Ý 
                Ý  Û   Ý             Ý   Ý 
    BLaH        Ý ß    Ý      ÜßÜ    Ý   Ý 
    File        ÝßÜ    Ý        ÜÝ   ÝßÝÜÝ        Written August 3rd, 1992 
    #007        Ý  Ýig Ýong  ÜßÝ Ýnd Ý   Ýairy 
                Ý  Ý   Ý    Þ    Ý   Ý   Ý 
                ÝÜß    ÝÜÜÝ  ßÜÜßÞ  ÜÝ   ÞÜ 
                 
                         Presents 
               Ú            ÄÄ              ¿ 
                "Chicken.. <and Stove Top?>" 
               ³            by              ³ 
                         Chessman 
               À            ÄÄ             Ù 

        I bet something you don't see everyday is someone who can name 
every different type of chicken.  Surprisingly, I can...  I don't know 
if this would prompt me to be proud of myself or commit suicide.  I 
really haven't decided yet.  Actually, knowing every breed of chicken has 
a lot of distinct advantages that few of you realize or even care about.   
First of all, it's a good way to meet women <or men as the case may be>. 
Quick example: 
               
              You're standing in line at the butcher after a hard days  
              work, and you realize the person in front of you has made 
              the wrong selection of bird and could be getting a better 
              value.  After you overcome the anger that by now has  
              boiled up in your blood over how society has shunned you and 
              forced you to learn everything there is to know about 
              chicken, you courageously step in and help that person 
              choose the poultry that is right for them.  Your eyes meet and 
              you realize this is the person of your dreams... Isn't that 
              how Alice and Sam met on the "Brady Bunch?" 

By now everyone on the store is impressed with your knowledge, and here comes 
another big plus.. People are asking you to customly select the bird that is 
right for them.  What better way to meet people than choose their poultry 
for them?  Wow, now the biggie... You can make money!  Yes, money and 
no college degree or experience is required.  Just visit that old circus when 
it comes to town, and tell the ringmaster you can communicate with chickens. 
They'll immediately get your own little cage, a funny hat, and a little cup 
to hold out for people to put money into.  All you've gotta do is  
alphabetically list the types of chicken (Example: "Ancona, Andalusian, 
Australorp, umm yes, Bantam, etc.") and occasionally throw in a seizure or 
two.  That's right, people will pay to see that! Now I hope you realize the  
human mind IS a terrible thing to waste with all the opportunity out there... 

 
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BLaH - We redefined the Dance of the Undead Chicken <ooga booga>! 

Writers- Chessman               REMEMBER: If it says BLaH, it probably isn't. 
         Guido Sanchez 

See all the new things you learn everyday kiddies? 

Big Long and Hairy <sigh>ts 

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