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blast vol 1 ish 03
BLAST.famy
volume 1 ish 3
July 1994
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F _ A _ M _ Y
A Private World E-zine.
editor-in-chief = P. W. Casual, C.E.O, PWE; C.O.B, PWC pwcasual@io.org
Contributors: markjr@io.org symptomatic dellusion sufferer
(whatever I think happens, time
to get the 3rd ish together.)
P. S. Marlboro Gen-Xer diatribes
+-------------------------------------------+
| One of the worst perils of the present |
| time is that,in the reaction against |
| ignorant bigotry, people no longer dare |
| to make up their minds about anything. |
| -Aleister Crowley |
+-------------------------------------------+
- C - O - N - T - E - T - S -
REVIEWS: Somebody finally followed through with a contrib!
P.S. Marlboro scopes the BEASTIE BOYS in Toronto;
then he trashes BACK BEAT.
DISJOINTED RAMBLING: Midas Touch Economics.
Markjr rants about something unrelated
to his chosen title.
PUBLIC SERVICE INFOMERCIAL: Have You Been Abducted by Space Aliens?
PROGRESS/DAMAGE REPORTS: Private World's Online Shcmooze is
almost.on.line
Gig Listings are up and running
- C - O - N - T - E - N - T -
====================================================
Beastie Boys |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
====================================================
Live at Palladium, Toronto reviewed by Phil Saunders
====================================================
Karate Dance Jazz, Graeme Kirkland's latest psychotic reaction,
was the first band to hit the stage at this very exclusive, in-crowd,
concert held by the Beastie Boys. How did one get tickets for this
rare club appearance, though there's word that they aren't going to
be so rare by the end of the Summer's Lollapalooza (i.e. apparently
the Beasties will be doing a few more "off-dates" while on that tour
as well)? I'm not quite sure...it was one of those grifts that comes
along when you've nothing bet do than look for work or listen to
college radio and Much-Music (I confess).
So I will say that this was the ideal situation to see these boys
perform. A new album, the first one that has blended with the last
ever (read; like a continuation of Check Your Head), in a club-type
atmosphere and really high on something.
Punjabi by Nature came up next for what seemeed destined to be
a big-band event. But the fury of Karate Jazz seemed so numbing,
Punjabi by Nature were more of an interesting distraction.
By the time the Beasties hit the stage, there was a healthy
audience of hipsters awaiting them. I then became so immersed in
the B-Boy assault I forgot to actually pay attention to anything
but the intensity by which they performed. Dope Beats and tearing
samples drove them and the audience into a journey of white-ass
culture. These guys aren't a bit short on their game. Ripping
through a few Minor Threat style punk tunes, the Beasties were
a convincing symbol of middle-class America gone dope (ya
Tubes reference).
Just to imagine them leaving the stage at Lollapalooza to be
followed by the Smashing Pumpkins (good-luck Billy Boy!!!) leaves
me chuckling in a malicious manner. I figure what should happen
is that P-Funk, Tribe, and the Beasties should just do one
Four Hour Jam so we can all go home early and fuck all that college
radio bullshit (well, in my town anyway).
===============================
Back Beat |||||||||||||||||||||
===============================
a movie review by Phil Saunders
===============================
There's nothing quite like seeing a movie about a band that was
around when your parents were younger than you. Coupled with the
acting talents of Laura Palmer (well, the actress that played her
anyway, I can't remember her name right now), but this script
includes a 9 1/2 weeks style sex scene that's well, just really
titilating and stupid. But as we know from Fire Walk with Me, said
actress has built here career on mundane sexual frivolity, it just
looks way better when directed by David Lynch.
Back Beat was not Directed by David Lynch. I'm not in front of
a Movie guide to remind me exactly who it was that Directed it but,
suffice to say this thing was lame. Either the script was too long
and poorly edited or too short and the Film was poorly edited.
But then again, when you make a movies about a guy who was basically
a foot-note in the careers of the Beatles, even hiring a "grunge"
supergroup to play the tunes isn't going to save it.
The aforementioned band is made up of Greg Dulli, Dave Thurston
Moore, Dave Grohl and Don Fleming; the songs are all those R&B
standards that were hurled upon us Gen X ers throughout the
seventies and eighties via the growth of the baby boomer
phenomenon "Classic Rock". Nice idea except for one thing.
In order to make this movie marketable the above band had to
do them as close to the originals as possible, for fear of taking
liberties that wouldn't jibe with the aforementioned marketing group
(Baby Boomers, that is). The main reason I went to this one was
basically to preview the Soundtrack, Unfortunately the movie
dragged on and was just plain boring. Oh...and about the
soundtrack? Wait until some baby-boomer rock critic takes
it to your local used record store and buy it then, at least
then you won't be getting in on some really twisted scheme to
sell us crap.
++ ++ ++
Original Title : Midas Touch Economics
Now Called : Markjr hates heirarchies
We all know (or at least we should) that hierarchal
institutional structures are beyond salvation, they
are doomed already. The faster they are done away
with, the better.
All good things come from humble beginnings, from
which point they mutate into worthless shells of
themselves. Good ideas are right for the time, and
beyond that time they are obsolete, and that makes
them bad ideas.
Governments, democracies, beaurocracies, and
aristocracies are all fine examples of what
I'm talking about. In order, (1) the government:
doesn't work anymore. They do not understand
the nature of today's complexities. Plodding
linear thinkers to a man. (2) democracy: one vote
every four years. Choose between this asshole or
the next. Big fucking deal. (3) beaurocracy:
stand in line for 3 hours to hand a piece of paper
to someone behind a desk. If it's missing a hyphen,
it takes six weeks to come back to you for clarification,
eight, if your lucky and it sneaks through. (4) aristocracy:
either make the royal family get jobs or use them for glue.
What works today is network parallelism. There is no top-down
hierarchy. There cannot be a hierarchy, things change too
fast. No time for committee meetings, let alone those
sickening "conferences on the mound" that make baseball such
a hideously boring sport. These days the only people you should
be talking to are the people you are _actually doing stuff_
with. Everyone in the room should have the time, the authority,
and the inclination, to _make a decision_ on the fly, in real time.
None of this "Let's go over Johnson's numbers next Tuesday and
tackle this after some golf".
Have You
B E E N A B D U C T E D B Y S P A C E A L I E N S ?!?
+ _ _+
\ /
\/
|||||||
O O
( = ) -- "Breep"
^ "Ping"
"Take me to your lizard"
I found this amongst our vast conspiracy theory archives. It was
on an old floppy which was for some reason tucked inside a copy
of a "Secrets of our Spaceship Moon" paperback. Unfortunately
I have _no idea_ who wrote this:
Space aliens often erase the memories of people they abduct. But you can
still determine if you've been taken aboard a starship or examined by
extraterrestrials with tips from two of the world's leading experts.
All you have to do is check for the tell-tale signs of alien abduction,
including memory loss, sudden illness, unusual dreams or strange marks on
your body.
These symptoms almost certainly indicate that you've been abducted by
space aliens.
"Many people have been abducted by space aliens but can't remember
anything about their abductions," declared Brad Steiger, author of the best
selling book 'The UFO Abductors.' UFO abductees often find they have have
black spots in their memories. In some cases it is simply a tantalizing
sensation that there is something they are trying to remember but can't
recall."
Hayden Hewes, executive director of the International UFO Bureau, said:
"Abductess frequently have recurring dreams or daytime visions about alien
beings, spacecraft or extraterrestrial realms. They often discover unexplained
wounds or scars. Or they mysterioussly begin to suffer from physical problems."
According to Steiger and Hewes, the warning signs of alien abduction are:
The mysterious onset of illness, including insomnia, loss of app-
etite, nausea, headaches, a rash or fatigue.
The nagging sensation of having "lost" a period out of your life.
Complete memory loss.
The mysterious apperance of scars, bruises, puncture marks, burns or
missing hair suggestive of medical examination by aliens.
Recurring dreams dreams. Some common images include extraterrestrail
worlds or landscapes and srystal sities.
Recurring daytime images. Common ones are space aliens, UFO's or
extraterrestrail scenes.
If you have experienced on or more of these symptoms, Steiger and Hewes
advise you look in your phone phone book and contact the UFO organization
nearest you. They should be able to put you in touch with someone who can
hypnotize and regress you to the time of the abduction so you can remember
it completely, the experts say.
(Ed Note: above article could just have easily been called "Are you a
doob-head in a rock band?")
+=+=+= The Battle Continues =+=+>
As of now you can finger pwcasual@io.org for gig listings.
The service is being advertised in various alternative
music mags. So far the number of bands we're listing is
small. Namely the bands of my roomates, my band and a few
others. At the moment this means we list primarily
Canadian shows. But Buffalo's Wrench is the first
American band to sign up, and Boston's Gypsy
Mechanics should follow soon (if Morgan would ever
check his machine).
If you have a band and you want us to list your
dates, it's $10CDN a month, which is pretty cheap.
Very soon the Online Schmooze will be up. This is a
forum for indie labels, bands, alternative music mags,
and whatever. We're aiming at making it pretty unhinged
and warped. You can access it through WWW and we'll
send out a bulletin to subscribers when we get the
actual URL. (Should be before the end of the week.
REPEAT: _should_ ... I hardly ever use the word "will"
anymore). The best way to access it is with Mosaic.
If you're involved in some type of cool.musical.venture
and you're interested in having your wares and whereabouts
online with us let markjr@io.org know. If you already have
your own alt.music.oriented Hypertext, send us your URL. We'll
put a link yours if you put one to ours.
(late ed. note: the schmooze is up! the URL is
http://www.io.org/~pwcasual/ )
<==== COOL .SIG =====>
Sign me up!
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Some people hate .sigs but I think that one should
only exhibit distaste for a bad .sig. This one
is very neat, and also demontrates the correct
procedure for Subscribing to BLAST.famy!
Email pwcasual@io.org and do what he did.
That's all for now. We'll try to get the next
one faster. Looks like we missed June completely.
Sorry.
