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Birmingham Telecommunications News 036
BTN: Birmingham Telecommunications News
COPYRIGHT 1991 ISSN 1055-4548
May 1991 Volume 4, Issue 5
Table Of Contents
-----------------
Article Title Author
Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff
Publisher's Corner.............................Mark Maisel
Editorial #1: The Non-Smoking Traveler.........Michael Davidson
Editorial #2: Thoughts On BBS'ing..............Raymond Danner
Editorial #3: Humor?...........................Dean Costello
Getting In On The Ground Floor.................Pope R.J. Gumby
Everything you wanted to know, etc.............Eric Hunt
The Adventures of R.G. Strangemind & Herbert...Jeremy Lewis
Birmingham BBS'ing.............................Erica Sullivan
ProFile: Sarah Maisel.........................Chris Mohney
Notes From The Trenches........................Dean Costello
Game Reviews...................................Raymond Danner
Review: Star Control..........................Colby Gibson
Review: Icon Manager 1.0......................Eric Hunt
Video Electronics: Part 2.....................John Lane
Special Interest Groups (SIGs).................Barry Bowden
Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff
Echoes/Network List............................Staff
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN
We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and
information in our publication. We assume no responsibility for damage
due to errors, omissions, etc. The liability, if any for BTN, its
editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions,
etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN,
even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood
of such damages occurring.
With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our
policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles. We publish
monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to
publication. If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any
time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear
in a particular issue. It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise
harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the
content of the articles prepared by our writers. Our writers own their
work and it is protected by copyright. We allow reprinting of articles
from BTN with only a few restrictions. The author may object to a
reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article.
Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as
the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the
article's original title are retained. If you use one of our articles,
please forward a copy of your publication to:
Mark Maisel
Editor, BTN
221 Chestnut St.
BHM, AL 35210-3219
(205)-956-0176
We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that
you like it. We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing
all of this and not get too serious about it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
F R E E B I E : G E T I T W H I L E I T S H O T !
The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no
charge to any existing upload/download ratios.
The Connection LZ Birmingham Alter-Ego
Channel 8250 Little Kingdom Joker's Castle
Crunchy Frog Myth Drannor Posys BBS
The Matrix Abject Poverty The Bus
The Outer Limits Bloom County The Round Table
DC Info Exchange Radio Free Troad Programmers Shack
If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let
me know via EZNet so that I can post your board as a free BTN
distributor. Thanks. MM
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N E W S F L A S H
Hey sysops! Gimme your attention for a moment. Please take a few
minutes and look at the EZNet Echo List and the Known BBS List. Drop me
a note on your board or in the EZNet letting me know if your information
is correct. If it isn't, please post the correct information so I can
update it for the June issue. I've not had the time I usually do to
call out and check on you, so I'm asking you to help me keep things
accurate. Oh yes, one more thing...give me your opinion on whether or
not I should change or get rid of the EZNet Echo List. I don't know how
useful it is if at all. Any of you other folks reading this are also
quite welcome to help me out here. MM
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Publisher's Corner
by Mark Maisel
This issue is a whopper! There is quite a bit to cover and I have
a few words for you all as well. First off, I'm sorry we're a day or
two late getting this to you. Illness and many other obstacles stood
between me and this issue. I have overcome them, but at the cost of
timely release of this issue. It has been worse so no griping.
Time to deal now with an issue of great importance, or so it would
seem, to many of you. I decided to take a break from the parties I
throw for you and I am quite ready for one now. Unfortunately, many of
the same problems that caused this issue to be late and some upcoming
travel prevent me from making good on my plans to have had a party in
April and now my tentative plans for May are fading away rapidly. I am
truly sorry about this as I'd hoped to have at least one more good one
before the heat hits us. Unless something terrible happens, be on the
lookout for something in June. This isn't gospel, it is a rumor, so
keep it as such and treat it with the disrespect it deserves.
There is big news on the big board in town, Matrix. It finally got
to become a part of ILink, a very nice international network that has
nearly doubled the number of conferences on Matrix. The number at last
tally was 347. There ought to be something there for everyone now. In
addition, Rocky, after being jilted by some religious network, decided
to start his own, TheoNet. This new network has a varied selection of
conferences discussing different religions and aspects thereof. Knowing
Rocky, it will be very easy for sysops to join the network and he
certainly has enough lines to accomodate many customers during nightly
mail runs by other systems. I understand that in the short time he has
offered TheoNet, he has already had interest from places as far away as
the Pacific Northwest. I wish him the best of success with TheoNet and
thank him for acquiring a link into ILink. I have been harrassing him
and ILink officials for some time now and it has paid off well. Look
for more news from Matrix soon!
The issue has an interesting twist. I have been asking for
editorials and boy have I received them. I have three this issue. The
first is a rebuttal to Tim Straughn's editorial on the smoking traveler
that appeared a few issues back. The second is an opinion piece on
bbs', etiquette, and general bbs subjects. The third is most unusual,
at least it was for me. I found it incredibly amusing though I do not
know if that was the intent of the author. It has to do with what one
allegedly must do to become a "bestest buddy" of mine. It also contains
several opinions that I neither condone nor condemn. I'll let you read
into them what you wish; as if I had a choice, ha ha. One thing I'll
say is that a certain party can rest assured that the author is
incorrect in what he says regarding him.
The rest of the issue is filled with interesting and entertaining
stuff too. Everyone has done a fine job, even Pasty Boy. We have a
guide to using local boards, continuing fine fiction, a newcomer's view,
a Profile of a very young user (I assure you I had no input into the
choosing of this victim), the monthly note from our estranged user, some
reviews, and the second in a series of articles on home electronic
entertainment appliances. Pick and choose or read it all. I personally
think you should read it all. I did and was more than pleased.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Editorial #1
The Non-Smoking Traveler
by Michael Davidson
Tim, before I start off, I'd just like to say that I hope you and
other smokers find no offense in this editorial, as I found none in
yours. I simply feel that it is needed to see a non-smokers opinion on
this matter.
First of all, I'd like to tell a story about a personal experience.
As a young sports fan, I enjoy going to ball games of most any kind. In
fact, my dad's office has season tickets to the Barons. It was a great
summer day, and the smell of the ballpark filled my nostrils. Then
another protruding smell ruined the moment. No, it was not perfume.
Nor was it one of George Carlin's farts. It was the horrible smell of a
rude smoker who paid no mind to my discomfort. I'm not saying that all
smokers are rude like that, but some are.
I also hate that there is no gum sold in airports. I also need it
for my popping ears. That's why I plan ahead and stop at a drugstore
before I get to the airport. I do think that it is horrendous that they
sell cigarettes in a no-smoking facility. Now to address the issues
that you bring up. The reason that smokers were forced to sit in the
back is that second-hand smoke has been proven to be dangerous to
non-smoker's health. This is fair "discrimination", as you call it.
The reason that discrimination against blacks was unfair was that the
surgeon general did not prove that blacks are hazardous to our health.
As for perfume, it is not considered a nasty habit, and once again it is
not bad for us. If you'd like to fart, go ahead. It is, however, as
socially unacceptable as smoking.
One more thing. Smoking in the workplace. It is quite reasonable
for the company to not allow smoking, but to allow tobacco chewing. I'm
afraid that I'm repeating myself too many times, but once again I will
say that tobacco chewing does not endanger the health of the employees.
Then there is the final issue I would like to present in this short
editorial: the children of smokers. Did you know that the non-smoking
spouses of smokers are at a 25% greater chance of getting lung cancer
than the non-smoking spouses of non-smokers? I assume that the same
applies to children. Of course they are at greater risk, but that's not
all. They experience great discomfort every day of their life at home.
After the fire has burned out and the butt is in the ash tray, the smell
still remains. The awful smell. I just hope that for your kid's sake
you educate them about smoking and tell them not to start in the habit.
As for the smokers, I realize that most of you started when we were not
as knowledgeable on the topic as we are now. I don't blame you for your
vice, or think less of you for it. (Well, not much less, anyway.)
Well, my 30-minute homeroom is up, so this is the end of the
article. I don't have anything more to say, anyway. If you smokers, or
non-smokers for that matter, disagree with me, as I'm sure you do, feel
free to express your opinion to me, as I'm sure you will.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Editorial #2
Thoughts on BBS'ing
by Raymond Danner
Although few people have asked my opinion about BBS etiquette, here
goes!
First off, the people blasting mail readers, (Dean Costello, in
#33, for ex.) are DEAD wrong. They make the assumption, based on a FEW
(ab)users of said software, that ALL people using off-line mail readers
are gonna post zillions of messages on every BBS carrying an offline
reader door. This is not so. MOST of us are responsible adults, or young
people (shaddup, Ricky!!) who do not abuse the privilege of visiting the
home or business of the sysop of the BBS in question, and only reply to
those messages that are seen as needing a reply.
Secondly, on the subject of "leeches", I feel for Tim Straughn, and
all the other sysops, who see GOBS of downloading going on, with little
to NO message base activity. This is not the purpose of a BBS. The
purpose of a BBS is PRIMARILY to provide information, secondly, to
provide files. Most BBSs also have door programs, which is an added
plus. Face it! If someone entered your home, and started to download
software onto floppies without your permission, or even WORSE, got
copies of stuff you had, then turned around and gave you junk in return
(say, you allowed this person to get copies of some of your really good
games, then he leaves you copies of Trucker and other crap like that...)
you'd get majorly P.O.'d! This is the SAME as someone downloading a lot
of files, and then (maybe) uploading MSDOS v5.00, or some other
commercial 'ware. Just as bad is uploading something the sysop has
deleted, and indicated s/he did NOT want on the BBS again, or
deliberately duplicating software that IS available under another name.
Mr. Straughn has been most upset by this practice, as it only clutters
up the HD, and takes up a LOT of space. Another thing I agree with Tim
Straughn about is the archive that does not have any documentation with
it at all! This seems to indicate one of four things: 1. It is a pirated
program. 2. It is a "hosed" version of legitimate shareware. 3.
(assuming upload by author) the person seems not to CARE if anyone can
use the program or not. 4. Virus or other nasty...
As for myself, I have fallen victim to #3, through my own mistake.
I now write all documentation as I craft the program; one time, I
actually wrote the docs before I wrote the program! (This program, in
fact, is still in the very early working draft stage...)
Something else that is disturbing to me is the fact that some
people do not give accurate descriptions of the files they do upload.
For example, I downloaded a game called JOUST.ZIP, that was described as
"Great EGA/VGA game", only to find out that it is VGA only. Made me
wanna do violent things to the uploader, who deliberately LIED, since I
paid long-distance charges for the download. I, on the other hand,
always attempt to describe the program as accurately as possible in the
space provided. This can be a real challenge, since some BBS software
only allows one 40-character line for file descriptions. PCBoard, WWIV,
OraComm, and some others, by allowing multiple lines per file, help
tremendously. WWIV's limit of 10 lines is kind of ridiculous, though. If
anyone actually USED all 10 lines in a description, I'd wonder at their
wit and nerve.
Basically, that is all for now. See you on-line!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Editorial #3
I had a curious thought. For whatever reason, a lot of people in the
Birmingham telecomputing scene want to get close to Mark Maisel. I had
my own reasons, chief among them was intense boredom during the daytime.
So, it occurred to me that what a lot of the Dean wanna-be's would want
is a primer, of sorts. Therefore, it has lead me to the following:
How To Be Mark Maisel's Bestest Buddy
by Dean Costello
There are some pretty good reasons why it would behoove the average
person to become a MMBB (Mark Maisel Bestest Buddy). Among them are some
of the perks that I enjoyed: Neat games and other software that Mark
got "for evaluation purposes", a meal or two (I have had more meals at
the Maisel's, through Mark and Kathy, than you can shake a stick at),
access to the CD library, and sleeping privledges. Other perks of being
a MMBB include choice of seats at parties, unlimited access to the good
cups and glasses, road trips, access to alcohol (if necessary), access
to neat drugs (through Kathy), and most of all, the potential of
becoming an 'insider' of the BTN world, which may include random gossip,
some knowledge about hardware and software, access to incredible deals,
and the wherewithal to interact on a social level with people that you
have only heard of, and have them recognize you on the street.
The first step, of course, is being noticed by Mark. It is not all that
difficult. For better or for worse, Mark replies to almost all of the
mail directed at him. I, for one, am more of a elitist about the mail
that I respond to. I am still on almost all of the boards in
Birmingham, but if you don't see mail from me, it is because:
a). You are one of the people that I never respond to, since your
messages have been judged to be stupid and/or ignorant. As a
general rule, if you fall into a category of this nature, you will
not be a MMBB, since Mark and I have similar taste in friends. He
will respond to your messages, but you will never eat Kathy's
Chicken in a Slightly Spicy Sauce, with Green Onions from the Front
Yard (unsavory sounding but a very tasty dish, nonetheless). There
are exceptions to this rule, but they are few and far between.
b). You don't leave me mail.
Obviously, the hard part is not being noticed, but being noticed as
being 'clever', or 'funny', or just 'not dippy'. A lot of you are
noticed, but you are not being noticed in a positive light. If only you
heard the way that Mark and I (as a member of the MMBB) have said about
you...
The second thing is to get an invite to Mark's place. I really don't
count going over to his place for parties, since everyone is invited to
those things. It is the little things, like the Music Parties, or the
VCR Parties, or the J.D. Parties that really count for the MMBB pledges.
I believe that I started using the BBS' in Birmingham about April of
1989, made a splash when I hit, so I had high visibility going for me.
I was entering a message in the Listeners' conference, when I was
force-Chatted, and asked to drop by. I had seen the ads for the BTN
party (I believe it would be the mid-August one), and had no intention
of going, but I had a pretty good idea where his house was. I wandered
over, and the rest is history. Apparently, I made a pretty good
impression at the time. Try to be nice, but relaxed. This ain't a
job interview, just a 'social' gathering. Probably not more than Mark,
Kathy, Sarah (the daughter, for the acolytes [any stray datum will help
you]), and one member or another of the Court. The Court is a core
group of individuals, such as myself a couple of months ago, Jet Thomas
(he spends a lot of time there, but few people realize it), Scott
Hollifield (at one time, but I have heard that his mobility has been
hamstrung), or Chris Mohney (Poor Chris...put his money on the wrong
horse) that spend an awful lot of time at the house. As a prospective
MMBB member, your goal is to become a member of the Court.
Okay, you went to the first invite to the Maisel house. As I said, it
doesn't really count if it came as the result of an upcoming BTN party,
but that is a good opportunity to lay the foundation of being a MMBB.
One thing about the party: If you become annoying, hang it up. For
instance, it looks to me that Colby Gibson will never become a MMBB due
to his very bad taste in music, his haircut, and his general "I am sooo
cool, but very insecure" attitude. Sorry, quick aside. Anyway, the
trick is to be invited back again and again. The tricks are not all
that hard to learn. It just takes a little practice to get the hang of
it. The tricks are (but are not limited to):
a). Individuality. For Christ's sake, be different. And I believe
that that is the big thing: Do, Speak, Think, Eat, Walk,
SOMETHING, different from the rest of the lemmings. If you do
something a little unusual, you will be remembered, and asked back.
But if you get carried away, after you leave, you will be mocked by
the rest of The Court.
b). Entertainment value. What's in it for Mark? Do you tell good
jokes, or at least clever anecdotes and witty comments? Or is you
don't, are you so bad you're funny? These are good things.
c). Naiveness. Being shocked is fine, but try to cover it up with some
kind of Almost-But-Not-Quite-Convincing act. Double takes are
nice, also, but don't be obvious (see the French Knights when they
first see the wooden rabbit in "Holy Grail" for an example of too
much).
These should allow you to get your foot in the door. And should have
you come back on a regular basis (say, once every two to four weeks).
Okay, you are cool. You are invited to Mark's at a fairly regular
basis. Now, how do you keep and improve upon your newly-won status?
Remember, you aren't a MMBB quite yet, but you are on your way. Well,
the following hints should put you over the top:
1). Accessibility. If you want to be a MMBB, you must be in a position
to go to Mark's at a moments notice. Also, physical location is a
factor. F'r instance, Mark will probably not call you up to go
driving in North Jefferson County if you live in Calera. I lived
about 4.5 miles away, so it was convenient.
2). Never just 'drop' by. In the 1.5 years that I have known Mark
fairly well, I dropped by without calling about, umm, 4 times. No
more. Ask Jeff Hollingsworth about not calling before coming by.
3). Get along with The Court. For maximum advancement, it is wise to
be friendly with others. A relationship outside of Mark is wise.
F'r instance, to be a MMBB, I became friends with the entire court,
just to be on the safe side. It worked so well that I am using one
of them to live with for a couple of weeks.
4). Feign interest in Kathy and Sarah. Kathy does most of the cooking,
therefore to get the food, you should be nice to her. You know the
drill, pretend to care about her job, see how she's feeling, ask
her opinion about things; that kind of thing. I didn't feign
interest in Sarah very well, since my patience with children is
limited (Jet Thomas was a champ at this), but I did pretend to care
about her schoolwork and her music. It seemed to work fairly well.
5). Be disdainful of people that boast about their systems. A certain
amount of pride is reasonable, but people like Kelly who
continually is trying to get a faster system, bigger HD, faster
modem are to be smiled at, then dismissed.
6). Pretend to care when Mark goes on long discourses about the origin
of place names in Alabama. Ask questions about current Alabama
affairs.
7). Feign concern when either the 386sx or 286 doesn't boot up.
8). Plant tiny ideas in Mark's head in order to discredit members of
The Court (assuming you aren't one by now).*
9). Play mind games on Mark. Also, he loves a good practical jokes, so
prepare to spring them on Mark frequently and often.
10). Talk about what a great guy Rush Limbaugh is.
11). Bust on Frank Zappa. He loves hearing people bust on that loser.
12). As I think of 'losers', call other users 'losers' at fairly
frequent intervals. Chances are that Mark will really enjoy the
insult. The more vile and unfounded, the harder Mark laughs. He
gets such a charge about this kind of thing.
* This is for experts only, since it is a VERY dangerous gambit, but if
it works, your advancement is assured, so use sparingly.
Anyway, with the above hints, strategies, and tactics, you will be a
MMBB person, and an all-around general insider in the BTN world so fast
your head will spin. Trust me, it works.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Getting In On the Ground Floor
Excerpt from a recruiting speech, given by the Grand High Poobah of
Silliness, Episkopos R.J. Gumby himself, at the North Malden Investor's
Council, 4/15/91
"Have you ever noticed how many people are getting obnoxious and
uppity these days, claiming they have such titles as "Reverend" or
"Bishop"? Ever wondered just what the HELL they were talking about? Ever
wanted to boss people around all day, only to retire to a locked room at
night and snicker and plan their ultimate downfall?
"What'd you say? No? Oh. Sorry. Go play Megatraveller or something,
while I talk to the rest of these people. Go on, this isn't any of your
business. And don't slam the door.
"There. Much better. Anyone else want to leave? Hmm? Yes, you in
the front row. What? You should have thought of that before we began
this. You'll just have to wait.
"The Church of the Crunchy Frog wants YOU (or at least a reasonable
facsimile)! Why, you may ask? Because... we're looking for a few good
silly people. Actually, we wouldn't mind several thousand good silly
people, but you've got to take this kind of thing one step at a time.
But this is a golden opportunity for YOU, Random Q. User, to become more
than you've ever dreamed... a raving lunatic.
"Yes, that's right. Tired of your typical nine-to-five week? Tired
of your typical life, your typical home, and your typical 2.6 kids? Ever
wanted to just go completely off the deep end and start a vegetarian
commune in Sweden? Well, if you answered that last one YES, you're a bit
too weird for us. Go stand over there. Yes, you. Someone will be in here
to collect you later. Bloody weirdos...
"Now, then, where was I? Of course. Join up now and become a
certified Raving Lunatic. Amaze your friends, fool your enemies, mystify
your psychiatrist with your Officially Non-Official title(s). Snicker
behind other people's backs, because you know that when the excrement
hits the oscillating cooling device, you'll be ready for it, because
you've Trained for This Sort of Thing. Learn to smile maniacally, a
great tactic to unnerve chess opponents and lawyers. And more.
"Sign up now and Get The Joke! And remember; it's not blasphemy,
it's... satire."
---
Official
(sort of)
Church of the Crunchy Frog
Membership Application
Please answer all questions as fully as possible
1. Name: _____________________________________________________
2. Are ye a human being, and not a cabbage or something? _____
3. Age (in hexadecimal): ______
4. Name: _____________________________________________________
5. Religious persuasion, if any: _____________________________
6. Desired "holy name": ______________________________________
7. Are you sure you want to go through with this? ____________
8. Name: _____________________________________________________
9. What does the word "proxy" mean? __________________________
10. Are you a member of the Evil and Insipid Off-Line Reader Menace?
_____________
11. Why or why not? __________________________________________
12. Use the word "phlegmatic" in a sentence: _________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
13. Would you be willing to donate almost obscene amounts of money to
your Church superiors without asking for a reason? _______
14. There is no question 14.
15. How would you rate your tolerance to pain? _______________
16. In ten words or less, describe your ego. _________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
17. When you add the numbers of your birth date together, do they total:
23? ________ 18? ________ 378? ________
5? ________ 8? ________ 6.5? ________
17? ________ W? ________ 73? ________
If so, why? ______________________________________________
18. In thirty words or less, explain your theory of where Spam comes
from. ____________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
19. Have you even been admitted to the Betty Ford Clinic for Gummi Bear
abuse? _____
If so, how long have you been "straight"? ________________
20. How do you rate your chances of getting in here? _________
__________________________________________________________
21. Have you ever accidentally injured yourself with:
A blender? _____ Your foot? _____
A washing machine? _____ A staple gun? _____
A belt sander? _____ A stale doughnut? _____
A frozen burrito? _____ A 747 turbine? _____
Hydroflouric acid? _____ Live hamsters? _____
If so, may we laugh at you about the incident(s)? _____
22. Name: ____________________________________________________
23. Just what makes you think you're qualified to be in the Church
of the Crunchy Frog? _____________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
STOP!
You have reached the end of this section of the test.
Put your pencil down. You may check your work on this section only.
Do not go back to any of the other sections.
When completed, send (via E-mail) to R.J. Gumby, care of the Crunchy
Frog. Send no money. Do not eat this file.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Everything you wanted to know about BBS'
(but didn't care to ask)
by Eric Hunt
This is "A New User's Introduction to the Birmingham BBS Scene" or,
more commonly, anarchy explained. So you've found out really what your
modem does! You have access to all the information you can digest or at
least what Brett Thorn can tell you, more files and programs than you
can ever use, and more silly, outrageous people to converse, scream,
argue, and flame than you ever thought existed. This article is intended
to guide you through the proverbial ropes (bit stream didn't sound
appropriate here), to introduce you to some of the local weirdos; we
won't talk about the GMC or Spam conferences will we?, and to generally
calm your fears over the whole issue of BBS'. Perhaps it'll even calm
your subconscious fear of Dean returning to rule once again.
Bulletin Board Systems are run by people. YES! Real live breathing,
reproducing, dying human beings. Granted, these people have a nasty
habit of appearing very unworldly, they do exist, although it's been
rumored that Dean had been running a WWIV board somewhere, those rumors
cannot be substantiated. These system operators, sysops, as they are
called, sacrifice everything, in many cases even their first born, for
the continued existence of their progeny, the BBS. What other normal
people would spend upwards of several thousand dollars so that OTHER
people can derive enjoyment from it? Sysops would.
Now there's this message thing. Messages are central to a BBS's
existence. New BBS'ers have two options: 1) Jump in headfirst 2) Lurk
like the rest of them. When you jump in headfirst, you get to compete
with the likes of Mark Maisel (ask Ricky about him), Brett Thorn (ask
any Project member about him [ask HIM about the Project, I don't have
column space for it here]), or Maggie Harden (ask Lee about the week he
was abused). You can also converse with such strange and unusual likes
as R.J. Gumby (hail the Pope!), Dirty Vicar (don't get any paste from
him, though), or Omega Ohm. Finally, the mystical Dean might condescend
and leave you a long distance message all the way from Maryland. The
best place to start talking to everyone is EZNet. EZNet is a network of
BBS' here in Birmingham that share a common message base. You can enter
a message on one EZNet BBS (say the Crunchy Frog) and someone on another
EZNet BBS (say the Matrix, or the Little Kingdom) can read and respond
to it. See the BBS list at the end of the magazine for the EZNet
members. You can also discuss a number (over 100) of different topics on
any of the national mail echoes that are carried. In those conferences,
discussion is a bit more serious, though. You wouldn't want to discuss
the mating habits of a whippet, or anything along those lines. They are
interesting, though, and deserve a look-see. Finally, if you prefer not
to leave messages yourself, you can always lurk. Lurking is simply
reading all the messages but not leaving any yourself. It's like you're
not even there, but you are. To each his own, I suppose.
An important practice that must be learned before becoming very
active on a message base is that of quoting. Quoting is the practice of
relisting parts of the message you are replying to in your reply. This
is done so that the person you are replying to knows what the fart you
are talking about. This becomes extremely important in the conferences
that are echoed to more than one BBS, as the reference numbers for the
reply do not work in the echoed bases. Quoting is most easily done with
an offline mail reader, such as EZReader 1.33, or Silly Little Mail
Reader 1.05 (called SLMR, or Slimer for short,) but you can also quote
using either the BBS software itself (if it is PCBoard 14.5) or with
your comm program (Telemate 2.11 is the easiest to quote with.) If you
need help quoting, most everyone can help you online (especially Brett,
or Maggie!)
Messages aren't the only reason for calling a BBS. Many BBS's have
substantial libraries of shareware, freeware, and public domain
programs, utilities, and graphics. You do need to know about the dreaded
thing called a RATIO, though. Most sysops do not want you downloading
(that's what transferring a file from the BBS to your computer is called
[in fact, if you are reading this, then you probably understand
downloading]) all sorts of things without contributing files yourself.
To prevent "leeching," as uncontrolled downloading is called (there
aren't any "leechers anonymous" groups, but who knows what the future
holds. I'm sure Tim Straughn would love to moderate the group and help
them mend their ways), sysops have developed the file transfer ratio.
The ratio is generally a number expressed like 10:1 (but some of the
sysops have it 1:10. Bill Freeman should be able to tell you more.) All
this means is that you can download 10 files before you have to upload 1
file. Be warned: the ratio is different for every BBS, so check first.
Files are a very important part of BBSing, but make sure you don't abuse
the privledge the sysop gives you.
Using a modem and a BBS might seem a bit daunting at first, but
take heart, we're not as crazy as we seem. New users frequently complain
that they are criticized unfairly or harshly for early mistakes. Perhaps
they are, but the criticisms are never truly personal. If you simply
tough it out, and ignore the more vocal critics of your "newness", you
will find yourself quickly fitting in. Soon you will be able to argue
with the best of them, quote like a pro, and download all the best
files. Have no fear, you TOO will be converted to a blithering modem
idiot, abandoning food, water, wife, husband (and the niceties
associated with the previous two choices!), and family for the computer
and modem. You will be a Changed One.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Adventures of R.G. Strangemind and Herbert
by Jeremy Lewis
Copyright 1991 by Jeremy Lewis
no reprints without the permission of the author
Chapter III
R.G. woke up, only to be knocked out again. Herbert woke up, only
to be knocked out again. R.G. and Herbert both woke up, just in time to
look very confused when they were both knocked out again. Although they
were unaware of it, (They were busy being knocked unconscious) over them
stood a strange looking blue alien with a rubber mallet. The alien's
name was Slob. Slob was a rather round and cartoonish fellow, with
round black eyes and a mouth that seemed to be a little larger than his
head.
He, Slob, was standing over our heroes and hitting them over the
head with the mallet every time they began to stir. They would open
their' eyes and see only a bright blue flash before they were once again
unconscious. Slob continued the pattern of blows for quite sometime
before he was bored and put the mallet on a high self in the wall and
left the room. Slob walked through the halls of his mighty ship
wondering if Emperor Splort had noticed. He couldn't have seen what
happened on Earth could he? He was sure that he had been far enough
away from Earth not to affect reality and he almost had been, but that
darned blue button just had to have appeared.
Slob was angry, in fact, he was angry enough to litter! Right there
in the middle of corridor six, Slob whipped out a piece of paper and
threw it to the ground. A large smile of malice appeared on his face
and he ground the piece of paper into the nice tidy floor. He was just
about to spit on the paper when an overly loud voice behind him bellowed
,"YOU HAVE LITTERED!" Slob screamed.
R.G. awoke. As he looked up, he beheld one of the purple things
(that didn't exist). He only had time to yell, "HERBERT!!!" when his
mind which had become so used to only logical thinking decided to go on
vacation, leaving his body to fend for itself. As R.G. fell to the
floor, Herbert awoke. He was, needless to say, quite startled by the
sudden shriek R.G. had emitted and after convincing himself that he
wasn't going to be knocked out again, he stood up. The nonexistent
purple thing, who had been staring at the gibbering R.G., turned to face
the rising Herbert, with hate in his eyes (that didn't exist). Herbert,
quite oblivious to his seemingly-impending doom, began to stretch
himself.
"Rargh?", asked the confused figment.
"R.G., did you saying something?" is what Herbert meant to say, but
as he turned and saw the monster although came out was "Argh!". The
monster, reassured of its monsterhood and ability to frighten people,
charged Herbert. Fortunately, Herbert was prepared and as the monster
was bearing down upon him, swung his fist in a punch that knocked the
purple thing right into existence, not to mention a really hard wall.
Herbert advanced towards the monster and the monster (that was now quite
existent) sighed. Herbert, taking this as a sign of hostility ran in
horror down the hallway.
Meanwhile in the recesses of the ship, R.G.'s mind was trying to
find it's way back to his body.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Birmingham BBS'ing
by Erica Sullivan
I must admit that at the start, I hated computers and everything to
do with them. It was Christmas time and I really wanted a car.
Apparently Santa decided that I hadn't been good and for whatever the
reason Santa had, the family got a computer instead of the cute little
maroon Accord I wanted.
One Sunday afternoon I walked downstairs to find my parents in
front of the computer having fun. Well, this was a concept hard for me
to understand so I went to investigate and this is where I found the
world of BBS'. It was an amazing thing and I found myself beginning to
enjoy the computer. The days and weeks went by and I found myself
running everybody off the computer so I could use it.
At first I was having a lot of trouble moving around the boards
until I started meeting Sysops and conversing with them over the
computer( yet another new and amazing concept). After regularly
chatting with SySops I began to ask questions. One of the many
questions I asked was, If there were a lot of users in Birmingham. To
my surprise, the answer was yes. The next question I asked was how come
I only see the same handful of users over and over? This is where I
learned about Lurkers. (This computer has really expanded my
vocabulary). I guess that I fell into the category of a lurker.
As a new user (and one of the few females) I would like to say that
at first it seemed hard to participate in conferences and so forth
because it seemed everybody knew everybody else. After thinking about
this a while I decided to go ahead and participate more. Anyway, the
worst that could happen would be my ears burning. I guess what I'm
trying to say is that it's ok to go ahead and participate. Most of the
people on the boards are very patient and nice people(hee hee), so don't
worry about making mistakes, someone will let you know (all in fun). So
all of you lurkers out there - GO AHEAD. The BBS is a great hobby and a
great way to open up and get a good laugh. So don't hesitate, go ahead
and post(We need a few people with a great since of humor, hee hee).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
ProFile
by Chris Mohney
The ProFile is a short, half-serious biographical sketch given to
various computer telecommunications personalities around Birmingham.
Victims are selected randomly from a group of names put into the
notorious Hat. Anyone who thinks himself brave or witty enough may
petition for admittance to the Hat by leaving E-Mail to me (Chris
Mohney, most boards around town) to that effect. Anyone who wishes to
suggest more questions or sneakily nominate someone without their
knowledge may take the same route....
---------
Pro File on SARAH MAISEL
---------
Age: Eight and a half
Birthplace: Birmingham, Alabama
Occupation: Going to school
My hobbies include: Bothering my mommy and daddy, playing piano & violin
Years telecomputing: One
Sysop, past/present/future of: Sarah's Whippets Who Eat Peanut Butter BBS
My oddest habit is: Play with boys (most of the time) instead of girls
My greatest unfulfilled ambition is: To have a million dollars
The single accomplishment of which I am most proud is: Having Erik Peek
for my boyfriend
My favorite performers are: Maxwell Smart, Frank Zappa, Mojo Nixon, Yes
The last good movie I saw was: Home Alone
The last good book I read was: Cricket Magazine
If they were making a movie of my life, I'd like to see my part played
by: Erica Pipkin, a friend of mine
My pet peeves are: my Daddy, sometimes my friends, the computer when it
does not do right, and SCHOOL!
When nobody's looking, I like to: do something I'm not supposed to like
say BAD WORDS! (gasp)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Notes from the Trenches
by Dean Costello
This Month: "Mom Always Liked You Best!"
My younger brother came home for the week. This is apparently the
Spring Break for Johns Hopkins. Scott complains about how boring it is
here. I just smile...
With Scott here, the dog pressure on me is lessened, which is a good
thing. I am about ready to kill the dumb thing. Well, I shouldn't call
the dog dumb, since it is a fairly smart organism. Mom (who in about 20
years is going to be one of those nasty women with a couple of hundred
cats who will be cheerfully referred to by the rest of the neighbors as
"The Cat Woman") has a towel on one of the nice chairs so that the cats
have a comfortable place to sleep. The dog likes to chase the cats, and
they usually just climb up on one of the chairs, and then tease the dog.
The dog now jumps up on the chair as far as he can, grabs the towel in
its teeth, and pulls the towel out from under the cat. It won't be long
now.
Which reminds me; yesterday one of the precious cats got outside. I
can't understand why the cats want to go outside, since they merely get
the shit kicked out of them by the other cats in the neighborhood, but I
digress. Mom comes home and discovers this turn of events, and blames
me for it. Several snide comments were aimed my way, such as, "You
needn't worry. With any luck, it's dead", or "I guess you're happy
now". The cat came home, after she had driven around the
neighborhood for a half hour. But what can I expect from someone who
said to me, "The cats are the only things in this house that love me".
True quote. But the cat came home after Mom drove around. I am tempted
to kill the cats, since they chew up the plants, jump on the dining room
table when we are eating ("Don't bother the cat. It's only on the
table. It isn't hurting you"), and scratch the piss out of wallpaper,
furniture, and upholstery. As I write this missive, I see a cat came
into my room, jumped up on the bedside table, knocked my lamp, clock
radio, a book, and a glass of milk onto the floor, then left my room.
For whatever reason, the cats like to come into my room. And, again for
whatever reason, the slats on my bed fall out every so often. I think
that those two phenomena can be wed without a lot of trouble. It would
be a terrible tragedy.
The job situation isn't the greatest just yet. I have decided to not be
ashamed of my failure to become an employed person, but to revel in my
ineptitude. I have taken to hanging my rejection letters on the
refrigerator. Starting to run out of magnets, too... There was also a
revival in town this week. A great event, with all of the local
churches putting aside their Christian Rivalries for the unclaimed souls
of Cambridge, and pulling together to have a joint event from the entire
religious community of the area. I was debating going down there on the
last day, and in the middle of the revival start speaking in tongues,
thrashing about on the floor ("I have demons running allllll through my
body" -Betelgeuse), maybe doing a quick Whirling Dervish routine.
Something to break up the monotony of your basic Protestant revival
service. But God knows I wouldn't want to embarrass Mom.
I have noticed some curious things about Mom and Dad around my brother.
It seems as if they are treating him differently than I. I have always
noticed that whenever Dad wanted something done (from getting him some
coffee to resetting the foundation of the deck), he always asked me.
When Mom wanted something done (usually getting a pot from a high shelf)
she always asked Scott. Kind of curious, but I have noticed the
difference between the tasks Scott is given ("Scott, clean up the
kitchen) and the tasks I am given ("Dean, paint the deck"). I am not
sure why the discrepancy occurs. I need to talk to Jet about it. He
seems to know these things.
But anyway, Scott's home, thus making my days a little less tedious.
Unfortunately, he discovered Mah Jhong for the Atari ST, so now he plays
a lot of that. On the plus side, the Fiero is working now, so I am
again mobile. I overheated on my way to Randy's house one fine fall
afternoon, and that was that for long- distance Fiero travel. Which
reminds me, I still owe him for a radiator hose he bought me that night.
Also, for a thermostat. I did buy he and Chris dinner, though. But on
the other hand, he has my waste water treatment book. I guess it all
evens out. But that night really was a frustrating experience for me.
It is enough to really make me angry...
<Eds. note: Dr. Costello's keyboard died from striking it in a blind
rage, and to finish up the column, we had to transcribe a telephone
conversation between ourselves and the Doctor from his Maryland home.>
Editor: To get back to the subject of the article.
R. Dean Costello: Yes?
Eds: So, where is your brother, now?
RDC: Scott has left for New Jersey. Kind of an amusing series of
events, if you are into mind games by someone with the
subtlety of a Panzer division going through the Ardennes.
Eds: What do you mean by that?
RDC: Well, he has been mocking my use of the modem for the entire
time he has been home, by using a lot of cutsey expressions
about my being a "computer geek", and such. I was tempted
to ask him how long its been since his Hitler Youth frat
buddies at school have rolled a fag, but I let it pass.
Eds: What do you mean? That people at <name deleted> University
in Baltimore are such that they roll fags?
RDC: Looks that way to me. At least that is what I heard between
Scott and one of his buddies at the frat as we were walking
to some place for lunch. Apparently, they go into a park
near their place (Lyman Park, for those that know
Baltimore), and have one of their 'pretty boys' try and lure
some of the fags that hang out in the park. A lot of them
do, from what they say. Anyway, after the fag has been
lured over to the bait boy, the rest of the frat people jump
out from the bushes, beat the shit out of the poor guy, take
his money. You know, the basic fag-rolling modus operandi.
Eds: How common is this?
RDC: Shit if I know. I don't know how common it is. It is just
what I read in the paper, and what I overheard.
Eds: Weeeell, that is a good use of a higher education.
RDC: Damn straight. Who says they don't teach kids well these
days.
Eds: Right. Where were we? Oh yes, Scott mocking you about
BBS'.
RDC: Yup. Thursday night he wanders into my room while I am
on Delphi, and starts asking me stuff about BBSs. You know,
transfers, messages, and such things. I look at him funny,
wonder what is going on, and proceed to enlighten him, and
he pretends to be interested. After a couple of minutes of
this, he leans over my computer, and asks me, in a very
smooooooth manner, when I'll be ready to leave tomorrow.
Eds: A smooooooth manner?
RDC: Uh huh. Basically, tries to slide it into conversation like
it was something that was almost beneath speaking about, and
as if he was only nailing down a minor detail.
Eds: Wasn't he?
RDC: Hell no. I knew nothing about his rutting plans. But I am
getting out of sequence. So, I say leave for what. He
replies to take him back to Baltimore. I reply why should
I want to do that. He replies it is a favour. I ask why he
wants to go back to school. So he can leave to go see his
love-bunny in Jersey. Kind of funny, watching him trying
to manipulate me into taking him to Baltimore. Oh well,
whatever I guess.
Eds: Cute, what a guy. Why didn't he just ask?
RDC: I don't know. The same reason why whenever someone asks him
something important, and he is at a disadvantage, he will
not say anything whatsoever. Things that are uncomfortable
to verbalize are usually ignored.
Eds: Nice way to conduct interpersonal relationships.
RDC: I reckon. I wouldn't want to date him.
Eds: What were his motives behind all of this?
RDC: Like I said, whenever uncomfortable things are brought up in
conversation, they are ignored. Try to follow this logic.
I have to go get him on Friday. He leaves Saturday morning
to go have sex with the girl at her school in Pennsylvania (she
is a pre-dental person. Squeeal!). He comes back Monday
morning, and bitches for the entire week until Thursday
night, when he struts his new manipulative powers.
Eds: That's curious. If all he did was complain about home, and
conspire to get away from home, why did he bother to come
home in the first place?
RDC: I can't figure it out. Why did he bother to come home if
all he is going to do is bitch and moan?
Eds: That's what I asked you.
RDC: I still don't know. I assume that he is concerned about
financial concerns. You see, Dad still pays for most of his
expenses in Baltimore, and by God, he has an incredible
expense account. I saw what I spend in Alabama, and I spent
about half of what Scott does. I assume that Dad is
basically bribing Scott to come home, and Scott realizes
that if he doesn't perform token filial obligations, he'll
be cut off real quick. And Lord knows we wouldn't want that
to happen.
Eds: You are starting to sound bitter.
RDC: Yeah, I know. I had better stop now, since it is no longer
even remotely funny, and I am getting more bitter and nasty
than this situation requires.
Eds: Umm, Doctor? About this Jen person? Sounds like a big
load of sour grapes from this end of things.
RDC: Not hardly. Or at least, I don't think so. She doesn't do
a thing for me. The thing that annoys me about her is that
I have seen her waving her finger in Scott's face, making
sure that he did precisely what she wants him to do. The
boy is serious pussy whipped. Dad seems to think that she
is only out for a Hopkins graduate. But whatever the
reason, his cutting his parents and I out of his life so
abruptly is a bit of a shock. Give me some time to
acclimate, for Christ's sake.
Eds: Yeah, right Doctor. All you REALLY need is a cheap woman.
RDC: Shit, yeah, that's what I need, alright. Hell, I can't even
afford to pay my Rich's bill right now. See this mug here?
I can't even afford to do this, but I don't care anymore...
<tape ends, with glass breaking in background>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
REVIEW: MOROFF'S SUPERBLAST!
by Raymond Danner
This game LOOKS good, but, just like Moroff's other offering I have
looked at, (EGA/VGA Pinball) it has incredible problems. First off, IF
you miss a ball in this game (at least on an 8088; haven't tried it on a
'286 or better) your computer goes to sleep. That is, your keyboard
ceases to function, and the computer seems to be frozen. Any program
that does this is poorly programmed, in my honestly humble opinion.
As for graphics, the program's use of them is quite beautiful,
altho the SUPERBLAST modes freeze right after the whoop of the start
up...with the PC's speaker howling at the top of its lungs!!!
Aaarrrggghhh!!! I HATE THAT!!! First time I tested the program, I used
the computer play mode with the fall- ing walls. Neat. There IS one
problem, tho. If you do not destroy all of a wall before it disappears,
it makes the next wall (the one that replaced it) negatively valued.
Seemed VERY odd to see the score get whittled away by the bricks the
ball hit. Eventually, it happened: The score got less than zero, and lo!
It SHOWED as negative! As for playability, I'd like the blame thing if
it ran on my system without hanging the system out to dry so often. I
rate using a 0 to 5 star rating. Here's how I rate this one:
Graphics: ***
Sound: *
Playable: ****
Reliable:
Manual: ***
Overall: *.5
I do not recommend this game (or any other Moroff offering) until
they clean up their act, and get the bugs out...
\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\
REVIEW: DARK AGES VOL. I
This game by Apogee Software, is really nice. It plays well on my
10Mhz XT, and looks at least as good as Nintendo. The sound, when using
an AdLib or SoundBlaster card, is AWESOME! One small gripe: There is NO
way to turn off the auxiliary sounds that come through the PC speaker
(blasts, landings, etc) and this is a MAJOR concern when you play games
at night. No sound controls at all...Not good.
As for problems, there ARE a few. One of these, I wrote Apogee
Software about in the SHAREWARE conference. This little bug occurs EVERY
time you get your name on the high score list. After you enter your
name, the system starts to play a tune, then freezes on the first note!
If you do NOT make the list, it merely shows the list, and eventually
drops you back to the play menu. As for others? One of the others is of
course, the lack of a sound toggle. This is, in my humble opinion, a
serious lack, and SHOULD be looked into. My ratings follow:
Graphics: *****
Sound: *****
Playable: *****
Reliable: ***
Manual: ? (No manual in the archive I have...)
Overall: ****.5
This one is a DEFINITE winner in my book. If anyone needs help
getting through this admittedly TOUGH game, just ask in a private
message on the BUS with the values stored in the SAVEGAME.DA1 file. I
will post a return, also private, that will (probably) solve the
problem. Just make a file with the values I place in my reply named
SAVEGAME.DA1, get into DA1, then restore.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Review: Star Control
by Colby Gibson
Star Control: Published by Accolade. This game supports CGA, EGA, and
VGA/MCGA. It also supports a variety of sound cards and control can be
given in the form of a keyboard or joystick.
First off, you can run this game on just about any system. It is
kinda slow on XTs, but since I used to have one and I played it on a
friends, I can say that it is still enjoyable.
Star Control is on the premise of strategy in the space world,
where the Alliance of Free Stars and the Ur-Quan Hierarchy fight for
total domination of all known space. Earth isn't the deciding factor in
this one, because the ship that represents earth isn't too spectacular,
and there are thirteen other races that are fighting as well.
Races: The Ur-Quan hierarchy.
The UR-QUAN: They are ugly, and look like something you run over on the
road. They fly a huge dreadnaught, which can slightly slaughter you.
Stay clear, because it fires huge fireballs and can use its crew to
launch small fighters that will catch up with you and turn you into
space toast.
ANDROSYN: Humanoid. They pilot a ship that somewhat resembles a bottle
of bubbles. It fires molecular acid space bubbles and it can convert
into a comet which can then ram enemy vessels.
UMGAH: Not much is known at this time. They fly this slow, deadly
vessel. It projects an antimatter field in front of it, and the ship can
move backwards very fast to draw its prey into the field.
ILWRATH: Spiders. They fly this vessel which somewhat resembles the
Klingon's Bird of Prey. It fires a flame blast and can cloak.
Vux: The VERY-UGLY-XENOFORM. They fly this small vessel that has a
gigawatt laser mounted in the front. It can launch spores that attach to
the enemy vessel which slow it and reduce its maneuverability.
Spathi: Little plastic like dudes. They fly this ship which looks like
something I made with tinkertoys when I was little. It fires little
bullets out of between two of the drones and it has a B.U.T.T. cannon in
the rear.
MYCON: A being that is quite nasty looking. It is a sphere that fires
plasma spheres that track the enemy. It can regenerate its crew.
The Alliance of Free Stars:
CHENJESU: Crystal life forms. They fly a crystal ship that fires
crystals (the crystal it fires can then be detonated into smaller
crystals) and can launch a D.O.G.I., A crystal that tracks the enemy
ship and drains their energy if they come in contact with it.
EARTHLING: People, human. They fly a ship that resembles the starship
Enterprise. It fires nuclear missiles out of its front and has S.D.I., a
system that can destroy incoming threats at close range.
ARILOULALEELAY: Little green guys. They fly this little round thingy,
called the skiff. It moves extremely fast and can turn on a dime. It has
inertialess drive, which means it can stop on a dime and can hover right
next to a planet. It has a ventral, auto aiming laser and can randomly
teleport around the battlefield.
MMRNMHRM: Machines. They fly the X-FORM, a vessel that has 2 purposes.
In flyer mode it fires two lasers which meet at a focus point in front
of itself. It moves at a moderate speed, and can turn quickly. The
rocket mode moves extremely quickly but can't turn worth two cents. It
fires Long Range Missiles, and it can be very useful against sluggish
enemies.
SHOFIXTI: Little bear guys. They fly a real small vessel called a scout.
It moves extremely quickly, turns quickly, and fires little beads. It
can self-destruct, which means that you don't beat it down and leave it
for dead.
YEHAT: Kinda look like ostriches. They fly the Terminator a ship that
bears a striking resemblance to a boomerang. It can fire itty bitty
missiles out of each wingtip and has a energy field that lasts a second
or two so it can come at you, fire some missiles, and get away
unscathed.
SYREEN: Just what the name implies. Just like the women of Greek
mythology, they fly a ship that looks like an ACME rocket. It fires
little darts and can call out to the enemy ship, forcing some crew out
into space, which the SYREEN can then pick up for its own crew provided
it's fast enough.
These are the fourteen vessels that dominate the game scene. You can
choose, from the main menu, many different options to do.
SELECT PLAYERS: (I am putting this one here first because it will
provide info about things below).
This feature allows you to choose whoever will control each side. If you
are home alone, pick the Hierarchy or Alliance for the Computer.
When this is done, three additional boxes will come into the picture.
STANDARD, GOOD, AWESOME. This is the setting will determine how bad the
computer beats the hell out of you. At standard, it is easy, because the
computer's ship cannot use its special ability. GOOD and AWESOME,
however, mean that the computer can use the abilities and makes it a
bitter adversary.
If a friend is over, and you want to beat up on him for winning the last
few games of rummy, pick both sides to be HUMAN. It is easy for one
person to use the keyboard and another to use a joystick. However, since
some people are not fortunate enough to have a joystick, two people CAN
use the keyboard. You'll have to set it up with the external program
that comes with it. "KEYS.EXE"
A CYBORG is different. YOU select the ship for the enemy, but the
computer flies it. Real strange.
A PSYTRON is even more different. The computer selects the ship or
strategy, and you carry it out.
PRACTICE: This feature allows you to match any ship against any ship.
You can then fly around and get accustomed to the vessel in question.
After you get pretty good at flying a Dreadnaught around or something,
go on to the feature listed below.
MELEE: This feature is just war. Depending on the enemy you picked
(Cyborg, Psytron, Player 2, etc.) you will begin to fight. Usually, if
you are fighting against the computer, it will select first. In a little
box are icons representing your ship. You move the flashing box over
one, unless it has been destroyed and it will have a lar
ge red "X" over
it, and wait. The enemy will select his, unless he has already done so
at this point. Then on it is just like the practice feature. The two
ships selected will slug it out, and the winner will go on to fight the
next ship chosen by the enemy. Whomever is left with ships at the end of
MELEE is the winner.
Note: In selecting a ship to fight with, there is an icon of a question
mark. This randomly selects a ship to fight with. When the computer
plays against you, especially in the higher settings, it will select
this icon. You must choose the ship you feel most comfortable flying,
and hope for the best.
FULL GAME: This is the feature that the game is really built for, but it
isn't one I play a whole lot. This is where the strategy in the game
comes into play.
It will prepare the fleets for battle, and give you a screen full of
about nine different scenarios that you may choose. After picking one
that you like, you will then be moved into the galaxy.
The galaxy is randomly drawn, consisting of previously dictated planets.
After it arranges them, and sets the spin, you or the computer will be
able to start.
You will have a menu to pick of any of your existing ships. Once you
pick, you will then have the option to MOVE (Moving corresponds between
worlds. If they are moving at the same rate and are close, you can
probably move there. If they aren't, don't bet on it.), COLONIZE (You
may do this only if your ship selected is orbiting a life world), MINE (
Creates a mine which gives money to your starbase, which in turn pumps
out more starships to your cause), RECRUIT ( If you've had a colony for
a while, this option will become availiable. You can then fill ALL your
crew to full after a big battle. You must orbit the planet to do it,
however) , SCUTTLE (You can just ditch your ship. Stupid command), PASS
(This allows you to forfeit all your turns and wait for the next
happening).
When you want to prevent or delay and enemy from getting a planet or
getting by it, select the FORTIFY option. It will then erect a barrier
which the enemy must break through to get the planet or move to an
adjoining planet.
If you move into an enemy fortified area, you may elect to BESIEGE
(Break through the stupid thing). Bear in mind that the bigger ships
like the UR-QUAN and the CHENJESU make EXCELLENT barriers while smaller
ships like the SHOFIXTI don't make really great barriers. If you come
into an UR-QUAN fortified planet and try to besiege it with a SHOFIXTI,
you're gonna be there a while. If you come in with an UR-QUAN to a
SHOFIXTI fortified planet, you'll be there a turn or two.
If you have enough money, which you do get more of depending on how many
mines you have in operation, you may select the STARBASE and elect to
BUILD. This brings up a submenu which you can select a ship to build.
The ones you can build are usually in white. The ship will then appear
in the sector around the STARBASE. You can also MOVE the starbase
around, although it's not advisable. Always heavily fortify the
STARBASE'S planet, because if the starbase is alone and one little
shofixti comes in, BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!
Another way of fortifying a sector, or piggyback fortification is
putting an UR-QUAN or something in a sector. When you do that, an
incoming ship has to then destroy the UR-QUAN AND the fortification,
proving it quite difficult. For even heavier fortifying, keep two or
more ships in that sector.
Most of the time, the object is simple. Destroy the enemy starbase. Of
course, it might be just to destroy all of the enemy ships. The game
description will usually tell you what you have to do.
Bear in mind that building a colony, fortification, or mine takes
several turns. The ship selected will have that function highlighted in
red until it happens. It will show a little screen with the mine and
tell you that it is operational.
Be sure that when you begin a FULL GAME that you are fluent with the
ships and you can kick a sizable amount of rear because you will be
doing a good bit of battle.
Well, campers, that's about it. I hope that I covered everything under
FULL GAME. Oops, I didn't. One more thing, you will discover things that
will make your ship work better. But I won't tell you what they are or
what they do. That's for you to figure out. If I didn't cover something
else, tough beans. You'll have to live with it. This is a game review,
not a game manual.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Review: Icon Manager 1.0
Impact Software
12140 Central Ave.
Suite 133
Chino, CA 91710
Shareware, $19.95
Windows 3.0 required
by Eric Hunt
With the release of Windows 3.0 by Microsoft, many of the elements
that were considered "standard" items in a GUI were finally written into
the program. One of those elements was the ability to completely
customize an icon for any application using a standard icon file format.
Now, almost a year later, there are literally thousands of icons
available for almost any application, be it a Win-app or a DOS-app. If
you don't like the icon provided by your favorite Windows application,
chances are that you can find a better one to replace it. Also, you can
design your own icon with any number of excellent shareware icon editors
available. Icon Manager 1.0 is the program that ties all this together.
Designed around Windows' MDI (Multiple Document Interface), entire
libraries of icons can be collected and stored in a variety of formats,
including single icon (*.ICO), icon libraries (*.ICL), or icon archive
(*.ICA). Icon manager also can clip and save portions of the screen in
any of the formats above.
Icon Manager is a direct descendant of PBIcon, the excellent icon
capture program that could clip and save any 32x32 portion of the screen
as an individual icon. This has been carried over into the new version,
but the central theme of the program now is the organization of icons.
Different "pages" of icons can be open simultaneously (up to a maximum
of 50) and icons moved or copied freely among them. A convenient button
bar along the side provides easy access to the various modes: Move,
Copy, Show Bitmap Tool, and Trashcan (deleting icons). Icon Manager
provides four formats for reading icons and three for output. Icons can
be read into a page from traditional *.ICO files, from *.ICL (Icon
Library, a collection of icons in one file that Program Manager can
use), from *.ICA (Icon Archive, special compressed files that save from
20% to 30% disk space over the other methods of storing icons), and
finally from *.EXEs containing icons (all Windows 2.x and 3.0
executables). Once some semblance of organization is reached, Icon
Manager can save icons in any of the formats specified above except the
*.EXE.
Icon Manager provides very flexible tools for managing icon
libraries. Icons can be loaded singly or all at once onto a page. The
button bar along the side of the display area specifies what operation
is to be performed. When the Copy button is depressed, icons can be
dragged between pages on the screen and copies are made. Similarly, the
Move button causes icons to be moved around. Also, when the Move button
is depressed, dropping an icon into the trash can causes it to be
disposed of. Finally, there is another button that toggles the
"visibility" of the icon capture (or bitmap) window. The bitmap window
can also alter the transparency and inverse screen attributes of an
icon, a welcome addition to any Windows icon manipulation program. While
there is no facility for directly modifying the bitmap of an icon, this
can be accomplished easily with the use of another icon editing program
(such as IconEdit, or IKE) and the clipboard. Even Paintbrush will work
nicely. In the future, with Microsoft's OLE (Object Embedding and
Linking) technology, this integration of Icon Manager and an external
editor will be even more seamless.
Overall, I found Icon Manager to be extremely intuitive and very
useful. The only major drawback to the program was the inability to
reinsert an icon back into an .EXE. I do, however, understand that this
is not actually a limitation of the program, but a limitation of
Windows. It is apparently not possible to modify a Windows .EXE, as the
.EXE in question might be executing, and this would corrupt Windows, or
something similar. The ability to capture any portion of the Windows
screen as an icon is especially invaluable, as is the ability to change
the transparent and inverse screen attributes of an icon. The trash can
is an excellent idea, one that needs to be utilized more in Windows
programs. One other minor problem, and this is due primarily to my thick
skull, is the choice of bitmaps for the Move and Copy buttons. I found
them quite confusing, and had to actually refer to the manual to figure
out which were which. Whatever happened to simple phrases such as "Move"
and "Copy?" Documentation is very good -- it comes as a Windows write
file and is formatted for either LaserJet or Poscript laser printers.
Excellent examples for integrating Icon Manager with Paintbrush via the
clipboard are provided. Basic Registration is a very affordable $19.95.
A disk with the latest version and hundreds of icons is $6.50, and the
printed manual is $3.50
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Video Electronics: Part 2
Televisions In The 21st Century
by John Lane
This is the second in a three part article about home video
electronics. As a representative of one of the largest home consumer
electronic stores in the nation I feel I could give you, the consumer,
some valuable information about video electronics to help you in making
a purchasing decision in this area. Although I am far from being a tech,
I can answer basic questions that were not covered in this topic. Just
leave me a message to me on the Crunchy Frog or Matrix main board and I
will get back with you.
Televisions have come a long way in the past few years. They now
can range in size to 1.5 inches to huge big screen televisions that are
now 70 inches or more! We will limit the scope of this text, however, to
sizes within the 10 to 35 inch sets. These are all true viewing tubes
and anything less is usually LCD (Liquid Crystal Displays) and anything
larger are rear view projection screens.
Some of the better features are of course cable ready and remote
control. (Yes, they still churn out sets that are not cable ready and
those you need to look out for.) The tuning devices have advanced now
to what the industry refers to as a 181 channel cable ready tuner. No
that doesn't mean that you will get 181 channels and not all TV's has
this kind of capability. This number refers to the frequency bands that
the channels fall into. In the Birmingham area, for instance, I am told
that starting next spring you will get in the neighborhood of 67
channels or so, depending on your cable companies. You would then need
a tuner of about 155 channel cable ready tuner to get all of these
channels. In the areas such as Atlanta, L.A., Washington DC and other
mega-metropolitan areas they can offer you 125 channels. That's when a
181 channel cable ready tuner is needed so you won't have to have that
ugly box on top of your set even though you bought your TV as a cable
ready set.
And not all tuners are made equal. Some of the old veractor tuners
are still being made too. (those are the ones that you have to manually
dial in yourself with that little thumb wheel, like those old VCR's.)
There are now mechanical veractor tuners, digital tuners, frequency
synthesized tuners and more. The latter two are the added features that
makes the TV's give you a better picture by not giving you a ghosting
image, etc.. Those frequencies are then "locked on" if you will.
Remote controls differ too. Not all remotes will work on all other
sets. NO KIDDING! (Working in the retail sector really opens your eyes
to non technical types.) Beyond just changing your volume or channels
up or down, some now offer you what is a "learn" function on them. That
means that if you have a VCR or another TV or even stereo in the same
house you can effectively program your remote to operate those systems.
It offers convenience more than anything else, however programming them
is sometimes more of an inconvenience for some people.
Televisions now come in stereo sound although I have yet to see it
in the smaller 13 inch size. That means they have what is called the
MTS (Multi-channel Television Sound) Broadcast decoder. This is the
"chip" that can detect an incoming stereo signal, be it a broadcast or
cable signal, and tells the TV to change to the MTS decoder to broadcast
the signal into stereo sound instead of the old mono signal we're used
to. Those channels in the Birmingham area are your major networks,
(ABC,NBC,and CBS) FOX at night, and depending on your cable company HBO
and CINEMAX. MTV, however, DOES NOT come in stereo sound in the
Birmingham area. They do offer simulcast for this channel on your FM
receiver, although I am at a loss as to which channel. (I personally
despise MTV!) Stereo sound usually comes in 20 inch and up sizes. Be
careful and ask whether or not it has stereo output jacks on the TV.
That is needed if you want to hook it up to your stereo system to give
you the bigger stereo sound. That is, in fact, what stereo TV's are all
about. After you hook up your TV to your stereo system you need to
adjust your volume on your stereo to about where you want it, and then
take your remote control of your TV and turn your volume up and down as
you like. There is usually a switch, manually or on the "on screen"
displays to turn your internal speakers off. This way you won't get a
double sound or sound delay. Your sporting events and movies that come
in those channels sound much better then. A full more richer sound
should then be experienced. If you hook a VCR up to your TV and played
it through your stereo system it does not, however, achieve the HiFi
sound experience. It doesn't achieve the stereo experience, either,
(Yes there is a difference between HiFi and stereo) while you watch a
movie. All you did was split your mono signal that came from your VCR
into your TV and your TV split it into a left-right signal back through
your stereo. To get this HiFi experience you will have to purchase, by
hook or by crook, a HiFi VCR. (But that's another story!)
Generally speaking, manufacturers have faded from the 19" size and
have been producing just 20" TV's. The same could be said about 25"
televisions. Manufacturers have been producing 26" and 27" televisions
and for some better reasons. If you can imagine a light beam pointing
in one direction on the inside of a globe the light beam that hits the
face of that globe would be a small circle. Now while looking at that
same light beam from the outside which is facing you if the light beam
moved in any direction it would form an oblong light formation
especially as it approached the corners of your tube. The beam, or
rather the color guns, are fixed inside your tube. The light beam that
passes through the guns are scanning your television to the tune of
something like 552 times a second. Kind of boggles the mind, huh? Ok
now if you got all that you can see why a 19 or 25 inch television has
to bend the corners of it's set.... it's to make up for the distortion
because the light beam inside is fixed.
Better technology, of course, exists out there to give you better
edge definition and clarity along the edges of your tube. Thus, the
20", 26", and 27" television. Mitsubishi patented (and will continually
patent) things like a "dynamic beam forming" process and an
"anti-blooming" device that enhances the picture quality even better.
(Personally I am NOT a big fan of Mitsubishi but that point is
relatively moot in this dialogue. They do make a competitive
television, however.) Because of some of the later developments in
television, it wasn't too long until they made tubes the size of the
smaller front view projection sets of yesteryear. On the market today,
you can purchase up to and including a 35" television set. Mitsubishi
is the sole manufacturer of this product, however, they do sell the
tubes to other manufacturers such as RCA and JVC. Toshiba, Phillips,
and Sony are the only other players in the tube making process.
Sony, on the other hand makes a 42" size television, I believe, but
it is not available to the consumers. Their television, the Trinitron,
is a different and somewhat radical design than other manufacturers.
They have only one color gun inside their tube and thus with that one
color gun they developed a flat screen tube much earlier than other
manufacturers. With a flat screen tube they felt the horizontal lines
of resolution would be tighter even as the lines approached the edge and
corners of their screen which would give you a better television. They
must be doing something right because they waited approximately 14 years
after the television came to the market back in 1938 or so to produce
theirs in 1954. The Trinitron technology hasn't changed dramatically
since. Interesting point, I thought.
Some of the better bells on whistles now a days include on screen
displays that can adjust colors with the remote control. It prevents
you from having to continually walk to the set to adjust colors, etc.
Sleep timers that turn the television off at a specific time so you can
enjoy your set on the couch and bedroom and fall asleep. The TV will
automatically turn off so it won't run all night long. A great idea,
however, the monologue tone of the set is what put you to sleep in the
first place is now abruptly turned off and then wakes you up! I have
even heard of people using this feature to cook with. When the TV turns
off the roast is done. A channel return feature allows you to retune
your previous channel with the press of a single button.
Not surprisingly, with the advent of stereo sound on TV's you can
even adjust your sound quality with your remote as well. Separate bass,
treble, and balance is now available on most stereo models. The
Mitsubishi can even give you an on screen graphic equalizer right on the
set. Most sets even offers you a "lock out " feature on their sets so
you can effectively lock out with a three or four digit code television
program(s) therefore monitoring your children's viewing. Some adult
channels on cable warrants this feature, however, don't forget your ID
code to get back in! An on timer feature lets you turn your set on, not
as an alarm clock, (I guess it could be used for that) but at a specific
time so you wouldn't miss a favorite show. So it would turn itself on
or switch to that channel. Picture in picture (pip) is also available.
A pretty useless function if you ask me, but it will allow you to watch
one picture while you see another in the corner. The smaller picture is
digital and you listen to the big picture on the outside. Great for
sporting events or if you want to impress your neighbors but that's
about it.
That's about it on televisions. Stay tuned for the next BTN issue
where big screen and home entertainment systems will be discussed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Special Interest Groups (SIGs)
BEPCUG CCS
Birmingham East PC Users Group Commodore Club South
Jefferson Sate Jr. College Springville Road Library
Ruby Carson Hall, Rm 114 2nd & 4th Tuesday (C64/C128)
3rd Friday, 7-9 PM 3rd Monday (Amiga)
Paula Ballard 251-6058 (after 5PM) 7:30-10 PM
Maurice Lovelady 684-6843
BCCC BIPUG
Birmingham Commodore Computer Club Birmingham IBM-PC Users Group
POB 59564 UAB Nutrition Science Blg
Birmingham, Al 35259 RM 535/541
UAB School of Education, Rm 153 1st Sunday (delayed one week
2nd and 4th Sundays, 2 PM if meeting is a holiday)
Rusty Hargett 854-5172 Marty Schulman 967-5883
BACE FAOUG
Birmingham Atari Computer First Alabama Osborne Users
Enthusiast Group
Vestavia Library, downstairs Homewood Library
2nd Monday, 7 PM 1st Saturday, 1PM
Benny Brown 822-5059 Ed Purquez 669-5200
CADUB
CAD Users of Birmingham
Homewood Library
3rd Tuesday, 6:30PM-8:30PM
Bobby Benson 791-0426
If you belong to or know of a user group that is not listed,
please let us know by sending E-Mail to Barry Bowden on
The Matrix BBS.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area
NAME NUMBER BAUD RATES MODEM BBS SOFTWARE
SUPPORTED TYPE
*% Abject Poverty 680-9680 300-2400 ProBBS/ProDoor
* Alter-Ego BBS 925-0707 300-2400 MNP4 ProBBS/ProDoor
* American BBS 674-1851 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
Amiga Alliance ][ 631-0262 300-2400 Ami Express
^ Arkham Asylum 853-7422 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
*% Bloom County 856-0587 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
-* Bus System 595-1627 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2
*% Byte Me! 979-BYTE! 2400-9600 USR HST WWIV 4.12
Camelot BBS 856-0679 300-2400 Telegard 2.5
-*# Channel 8250 Node 1 744-8546 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
-*# Channel 8250 Node 2 744-5166 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.5
* Crunchy Frog 956-1755 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
DataLynx 322-3425 300-2400 Oracomm5.L.30
Graphics Zone Node 1 870-5306 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16)
Graphics Zone Node 2 870-5329 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16)
Hacker's Corner 674-5449 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5
+ I.S.A. BBS 995-6590 300-9600 USR HST TCOMM
-* Joker's Castle 664-5589 300-2400 PC Board 14.5
@ K-9 Corner 424-8202 300-2400 Image 1.2
*& Little Kingdom Node 1 969-0007 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
*& Little Kingdom Node 2 969-0008 300-2400 MNP4 PCBoard 14.5
LZ Birmingham 870-7770 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
* Magnolia BBS 854-6407 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.2
MICROTECH Comm. 951-5678 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
@ Missing Link 853-1257 300-2400 Image1.2
^ Myth Drannor 699-5811 1200-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11
Outside It's America 951-2473 300-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11
Owl's Nest 680-0851 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
PC Echange Link 663-2759 300-9600 USR DS QuickBBS 2.04
Posys BBS 854-5131 1200-2400 RBBSCPC17.3
+= Programmer's Shack 871-3356 300-9600 USR HST Telegard 2.5i
* Radio Free Troad 979-6183 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.2
Safe Harbor 665-4355 300-2400 GTPower 15.00
Shadetree BBS 787-6723 300-2400 Phoenix 1.36
+= Source Line 674-0852 1200-2400 Telegard 2.5i
Sperry BBS 853-6144 300-9600 Hayes PCBoard 14.5
* ST BBS 836-9311 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2
The Commodore Zone 856-3783 300-2400 Image1.2
The Connection Node 1 854-9074 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.1
The Connection Node 2 854-2308 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.1
The Connection Node 3 854-0698 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.1
The Dog House 425-9255 300-1200 Image1.2
^ The Dragon's Hoard 833-3790 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
-*!$(The Matrix Nodes 1-4 323-2016 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
-*!$(The Matrix Node 5 251-2344 2400-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.5
-*!$(The Matrix Node 6 323-0799 2400-9600 UDS V.32 PCBoard 14.5
+= The Outer Limits 985-1725 1200-9600 USR HST Telegard 2.5i
The Quiet Zone 833-2066 300-2400 ExpressNET
+= The Round Table 938-2145 300-2400 WWIV 4.11
VCM(ee) BBS Node 1 655-4059 300-2400 USR DS Oracomm Plus
VCM(ee) BBS Node 2 655-4065 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
Victory Express 425-0821 300-1200 Image 1.2
Willie's DYM Node 1 979-1629 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
Willie's DYM Node 2 979-7739 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
Willie's DYM Node 3 979-7743 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
Willie's DYM Node 4 979-8156 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
Ziggy Unaxess 991-5696 300-1200 Unaxess
The many symbols you see prior to the names of many of the bbs' in the
list signify that they are members of one or more networks that exchange
or echo mail to each other in some organized fashion.
* = EzNet, a local IBM compatible network
@ = Image network, a national Commodore network
= = Telegard network, a local IBM compatible network
+ = FidoNet, an international IBM compatible network
- = Metrolink, an international IBM compatible network
^ = WWIV-Net, an international IBM compatible network
& = Intellec, an international IBM compatible network
# = Uni'Net, an international IBM compatible network
% = ThrobNet, an international IBM compatible network
! = RastaNet, an international IBM compatible network
$ = ILink, an international IBM compatible network
( = TheoNet, a national IBM compatible network
If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let us
know via EzNet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
EzNet Echo List
This is a list of the current echoes that we are aware of. More are
in the making and will be posted in future issues. If you are a sysop
and are running an echo not listed for your board, please make us aware
of it so we may correct it next issue.
E P I A S B A W G
Z r B d c T s e M
N o M u i N t b C
e g l t W r e
t r t e A o s
a c n y
m h u s
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Abject Poverty X X X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Alter-Ego X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
American BBS Not hooked into new central yet. MM
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Bloom County X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Bus System X X X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Byte Me! X X X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Channel 8250 X X X X X X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Crunchy Frog X X X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Joker's Castle X X X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Kingdom X X X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Magnolia BBS X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Radio Free Troad X X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
ST BBS X X X
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The Matrix X X X X X X X
