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Angstmonster 00
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* 7.25.02 angstmonster issue 0 *
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¡written and edited (poorly) by gir¡
When being angsty on livejournal isn't enough...
¡contents¡
Making Stuff Is Fun In A Box
Alot of Screaming and Stuff
I Started This As Something Else
My Mommentary Sunrise Got Soggy In Milk
################
# Making Stuff #
# Is Fun #
# In a Box #
################
For awhile I've had my own lil slice of the internet known as angstmonster.org
and had all these really neat ideas as far as content goes for it but due to
my lack of html skills, I never really got passed designing some sort of neat
layout and the whole time these ideas I keep getting float around in my head
and never materialize into any sort of substance that I can spread like a dirty
virus to anyone who'd be interested either way. When I had a friend come
visit me recently, I thought it'd be cool to make a zine with her for release
at H2K2 because a big event like that would be a great place to distribute
anything. (For quite sometime, I've found it more fun to make a print zine/rag/
collection of rant thingies because the art of cut and tape is so fun!) That
idea got put on hold because we ran out of time and didn't have the money to
make enough copies. All the neat ideas about making something and adding to a
collection of texts online sounded like a cool idea but that's not why this all
gelled in my head. No, the reason and inspiration for this is a skate video
called "PJ Ladd's Wonderful Horrible Life." A good friend of mine who is all
the rave amongs groups of skaters in the Richmond,Va area turned me on to the
video because of how impressed he was with PJ Ladd's skateboarding. As it goes
the skateboarding world was turned upside down when this video was released
(two months ago I think) and people watched this kid bust moves that were some
of the most difficult in skating. (I'm not sure how accurate that is, but the
kid and the video impressed me.) In fact, the video impressed me so much that
I was bummed and angered with myself not creating something, basking in the
arts I enjoyed so much like so many skaters do day in and day out without
thinking twice. All worked up about wondering what it must be like to eat and
breathe, sleep and dream so passionately about something that it takes you to
new levels of creating in that giving thing. Maybe that's a little bit of an
over ambitious vision for anything made at 4am, but I'm making something and
that's enough of a pleasure for me, that I don't care how shitty it sounds.
###############
# Alot of #
# Screaming #
# And Stuff #
###############
Punk music is hecka cool and sometimes I wish I was in a punk band. I catch
myself singing little bits and pieces of lyrics to myself all the time even
thought I don't have a band or much musical talent in the way of conventional
noisemaking. So here are some bits and pieces of lyrics to take up space.
freezer aisle.
wake up, get outta bed
gotta move ahead
people to cheat
all the while
tapping to the beat
of a song,
that's never wrong
when it says
life's just a game
to be played
just like anyone involved
sincerity, sincerity
just another calamity
when you wake up
just another technicality
day to day
drive that big ol gas guzzler
to your cushy cubicle you hate
to your secretaries place
so long as you beat
everyone else
in that stupid race
sincerity, sincerity
just another calamity
when you wake up
just another technicality
day to day
cuddle the kinder in daily
breaded lessons
repressin any thought that
their school might've missed
"It's ok" you say,
"To kill the poor,
we don't need them anymore!"
"As for the rest,
greed suits us best!"
(But remember to always share!)
sincerity, sincerity
just another calamity
when you wake up
just another technicality
day to day
sincerity, sincerity
just another calamity
when you wake up
just another technicality
day to day
bland reality.
stale vanilla flavoring on
the graduation cake
another chance to be a star
another mistake
why'd they go and make another
one of them shows
dabbling in the mindless chatter
every character the same as the last
(somebody please give me a chance,)
another complex to get past
(i want to be a star)
with their less than hip styles
(my life is so just like a tv show)
the types who's life's for hire
(but it doesn't matter to me)
waiting for their intelligence
to expire
(i just wanna be the queen)
so what does it mean
for you to be on tv?
that gleaming in your eyes,
lusting after another sitcom
no surprise involved with the plot
but it doesn't take much for added
brain rot to overthrow an audience
who should've given up on cable tv
a long time ago
ever feel you're being watched?
and the object of the game is to
make your life so
boring
that you'll settle for being a
spectator?
if so
salute to the camera in the sky
every time your girlfriend cries
cause it's another rating
through the roof
so long as everyone else
isn't to busy with their money shot
to remember our time slot
if we're being watched...
#####################
# I Started This #
# As Something Else #
#####################
Lately I've been thinking in the spirit of how much there is to do with life
and how everyone should do what they believe is the coolest thing for them to
do but also go out and do EVERYTHING that seems cool they might want to do.
Consider the average lifespan and then consider how boring looking back it
would be to see yourself (or anyone else) stuck in the same thing for all that
time. Yeah it's really cool to find things that we enjoy and do them our whole
lives but why just do one thing, why not do them all? Don't be afraid to do
something in addition to learning more and honing the craft/hobby/etc that
you've mastered. But there are plenty of people out and about in life already
doing this and I'm just blowing steam in moving myself along to the idea that
maybe in allowing for more than one pleasure and thing to do in life, in
certain circles and scenes, people should allow for more diversity.
The power of subcultures is bringing a lot of varied and different people
together under on general idea or belief. While their opinions may clash on
other issues, it's the one central issue that makes them a strong group of
whatever they may be. Like the opinions of all of a people in a subculture,
their talents in aiding the culture to grow and expand vary. Thus to allow
for people in a "scene" to do what they do best is a way to allow for growth.
Growth is usually a good thing, or at least keeping things inclusive and not
exclusive. If people are passionate and really dig what they do, wouldn't it
make sense that others might enjoy it to and that sharing it with them others
would be really cool and a chance to add on to the greatness and neat things
about the culture/group/scene?
It's always bothered me that people who've been around and involved in
something will begin to shit all over people new to the something because the
person is new. no one can help being a newbie (aside from avoiding certain
things that tend to annoy people) and yet the newbies still get shit on.
Maybe it's just a mindset of belonging to a group that's mentality never grows
up... Rather than waving a big floppy dick of arrogance around because
you know someone knows less than you, fucking help them out. Take the time to
show a person something you really appreciate about the thing he/she is getting
involved in. There are moments when a person can remember the things that
pulled and attracted them to a movement or feeling and express that moment in
their teaching and sharing. To teach someone one fact or bit of information
isn't enough though, to teach someone how to teach themselves to do something
or learn the way to learn the most potently, that's what should take hold of us
and push us to share things... In any given movement, the desire to learn more
and get the most out of what is learned should strengthen the movement
endlessly. But that only works if people are willing to teach.
And for the unwilling members of a culture? We can send them a resounding
"Fuck You" for not wanting to help out but for whatever reason, people think
being exclusive is the only way to keep the heard trimmed to the bestest of
the best. That can work sometimes, but holding out too long will end up in a
sick flock. Most of the times, people can't be stopped and if someone decides
to tag along in your subculture of choice, let it pass until he realizes this
wasn't what everyone said it'd be. Those sorts of people who grab on to the
trends still serve a purpose, more often than not they are the ones everyone
else makes fun of. That's still a niche for them to fill. But what if
someone latches on to a group and doesn't fit the norms of contributing the way
everyone feels they should? What if people start causing trouble and there's
lives being affected and changed as a result of the actions of someone who
others think don't belong? That's the nature of a culture and if someone
isn't willing to consider and accept it, perhaps he should reconsider the way
things are. Different people coming together under the banner of one idea
really does mean that all sorts of people may show up to your monthly meeting
of subversion and be so subversive that it leaves everyone else at the meeting
dumbfounded. It may happen. And if people aren't careful in willing to accept
such things, a lot of rifts could spring up in their precious cultures that
mean ever so much to them and suffocate it. Taking into account that what goes
on throughout a subculture affects everyone involved, people should consider
their actions and attitudes that follow them into the culture. When events
cause friction, it shouldn't be denied and not be allowed to affect people.
There shouldn't be a whole mess of negative floating around in a group that
already has a stigma as far as onlookers are concerned. When shit happens
internally, it shouldn't be turned into some voyeuristic episode for everyone
to spectate and enjoy like trash television or news. As much as we put into
the things we believe, isn't it enough to not bicker so much internally and
revel in the strength of a community and delight in where it can go?
But maybe going off about such things on the fly is just as bad. All the same,
there's something to think about.
#####################
# My Momentary #
# Sunrise #
# Got Soggy in Milk #
#####################
Soon enough, this'll all be over and the more I poke at the inner workings of my
tiring brain, I'll remember all the little bits of tfile style I've made in the
past and how somehow, this ended like that, but enough of me is too much for
anyone. That in mind, it never hurts to contribute to the things that
interest you. (Even if it sucks at first, throw your opinion in to make it
suck a little less.) Always, to jump ahead of the what is and now, I told
someone that if she wanted to contribute the idea of this creation was to share
things with your friends. Whether it be rants and raves, poetry and prose,
recipes and FAQ's, howtos and step by steps, it'd be nice to have a bunch
of exchange of no sort what so ever going on. Whenever I've done something
like this, I'm always asked what it's about, or someone is searching for a
theme. Why does there have to be one at all? There's enough people in the
world, online, and occasionally browsing the things I make that the diversity
might meld together and create a lil culture of sharing.
Sharing is so hecka cool. Like all the other things we were supposed to do
when we were little and then abandon it for something more promising like
profit. (Why shouldn't we be sharing more of our profits with friends and
people who are friendly?) Giving when you can, to someone or something you
believe in is a whole lot better than wishing you had done something but
never do. Sitting around all day in a lonely room in front of a computer with
a bunch of great intentions to do things, is still just sitting around. But
unlike most, I think that reaching out to the unknown void of reality and other
sorta reality like moments is when the person sitting in front of his computer
all day takes a chance and attempts to change things. When someone says that's
not enough, BULLSHIT! It's not enough to do it once, or to not give everyone
a chance to respond. Lack of initial response isn't enough of a reason to give
up! When someone steps out into the unknown, it's for their own reasons and
the sounds of the crowd roaring with agreement or disapproval should not stop
the next step, further into it all...
It's a matter of doing as much as you can to keep yourself amused and making
some friends along the way, so the trip into the unknown isn't as boring or
lonely...
¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?
What you have just read was a step into the unknown spontaneous and poorly
edited thoughts for sharing collectively known as "Angstmonster." All thoughts
on the matter can be sent to <gir@angstmonster.org> or you can just visit the
site http://www.angstmonster.org and see what you think. (But I won't promise
any content to anyone.)
Thanks and enjoy your day...
copyright 2002 issue 0
angstmonster.org 7.25.02
Feel free to redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
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