Anti-Warez Association chrt

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

AntiWarez Association

 · 5 years ago

  

                    Official Document of Establishment: 

                      (Anti Warez Association (AWA) 

August 4th 1993 

Opening: 

        It is hereforth proclaimeth the establishment of the Anti Warez 
Association by it's founders and charter members: 

                                 Ozone Pilot 
                                Jason Farnon 
                               Alexander Knox 

On this date, Wednesday, August 4th Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Three, the 
Anti Warez Association announces it's establishment and openly begins 
soliciting membership. 

Document: 

        The purpose of this document is to serve as a constitution of the 
group, and to lay forth it's policies and goals.  The policies within 
have been reviewed and agreed upon by the Board of Directors, OP, JF, AK. 
They are subject to change without consultation on the part of the general 
membership.  We are your holy rulerz.  We make the big decisions.  After all, 
we wouldn't start a group if we weren't in for some power trip, now would we? 

Association Motto/Slogan: 

             "We don't crack software, we crack kitchen counters" 

Goals: 

        The goal of the Anti Warez Association is to produce literature 
informing the general computer public of the horror, pain, and suffering of 
the individuals trapped in the warez world.  We struggle to bring warez 
d00dez into therapy and treatment, and we support those who have recovered. 
We attack those who refuse help.  We aim to please. 

Philosophy: 

        There is life beyond warez.  We have been there and back, we have 
seen the horrific damage it can cause.  We have seen the pathetic souls 
who have fallen prey to multinode warez boards, we have witnessed the 
devastating effects of 3 gigs of online storage.  We have see those scarred 
for life by local caller ratios.  Nobody is beyond recovery, except the 
almighty leader of the evil warez world, Timebomb of 617.  The black hole 
of waredom called TGW is an evil empire created upon greed, hoarding, and 
high speed HST.  We will win, we will conquer. 

Membership Solicitation: 

        Anyone, except the evil one himself, may join.  In order to join, 
you must contact Jason Farnon, Alexander Knox, or Ozone Pilot for full 
information.  The best way to join is to call the Archiving and Propaganda 
Department itself.  It's called ThoughtCrime and it's number will be given 
a bit later.  You will be required to read the latest AWA releases and be 
familiar with what we produce.  You will be required to submit an essay that 
will be reviewed by the Board of Directors.  There is no particular 
subject to deal with, but any type of parallel or symbolism of the tragic 
warez world is strongly suggested.  It may be fiction or non-fiction. 
Whatever, we don't care.  You may submit as many as you like.  You will be 
contacted by one of the Directors as to your standing with the group, once 
your essay has been reviewed. 

Submissions: 

        We request that all members in good standing submit at least one 
work per month.  Submissions will be grouped together and released as 
the Directors deem necessary.  There is no set schedule for releases.  You 
may upload your submission to ThoughtCrime, or it may be sent to one 
of the Directors on another board. 
        We do not dictate what you put in your essay.  If the essay is not 
funny or creative, it will not be published.  In other words, it has to meet 
certain criteria to be published.  If you are a Good Guy, you will have no 
problem understanding the criteria.  If you are one of The Evil One's 
disciples, it may be difficult.  It's up to you. 

Rules of Conduct: 

                        1) Scorn the warez world 
                        2) Torment Timebomb and his cronies 
                        3) End of rules 

 
Note from the Directors - 

Ozone Pilot:  "I am an artist.  I create art.  I create art that destroys 
what the warez d00dz hold dear.  Through the printed word, we will triumph 
over Timebomb and the Critical Condition multinode empire.  We will rule, 
it is just a matter of time.  Pass the butter." 

 
Alexander Knox: "Greets go out to RZR, FLT, USA, THG, TDT, and of course 
TGW.  Where would I be without you today?  In three years you will realize 
everything you did today was stupid, remember that.  "This lobster was alive 
when it hit the frothy, boiling water.  The horror.  The horror." Pass the 
peas please." 

Jason Farnon:  "To say that I am against pirating software would be 
hypocritical.  I am against the Warez society, the couriers, and those 
ansis really fucking piss me off.  Yeh, and I use what I download, not 
donload for the sake of downloading.  To sum it all up, 'Warez Suck. 
Huh-huh.  Huh-huh.'  Where's the 4C?" 

 
Contacting AWA: 

AWA is based out of ThoughtCrime.  Call (617) 599-7154.  There are no warez 
here.  No surprise eh?  Most anyone but The Child himself can get on. 
Submissions center and origin site for AWA releases.  Liberate yourself, 
call now.  No ANSI's.  Just cracked kitchen counters and bludgeoned skulls 
of pathetic warez d00dz. 

Send AWA internet mail to: comrade@gnu.ai.mit.edu